Aside from spellchecking and adding a word here or there where you left out a word. It seems alright to me. Stuff like Applejack's first (fist I assume). There were more in the previous chapters.
At first I thought you were going to pull a Groundhogs Day lol
Still sucks for Sunset at this situation. So far this story is off to a good pace, If you need some grammar editors, I could help out, but that's up to you. I didn't see much errors in terms of grammar/spelling then again it's 7 am here so...
Nice work on the chapter, but I have to say the first two chapters were better than this one. I still feel as though it was a great chapter and enjoyable to read, so keep it up! You're doing great!
7197315 Thanks for the comment. Like I said I wasn't really feeling this one, it felt more like a means to an end. The next one should feel a lot better.
7202996 See part way through writing this I said to myself "Crap, did I just write myself into a corner. Gotta think of a way out and quick." Thats probably why I am still not too satisfied with the chapter. I am glad though that people seem to be enjoying it. One Sub-par chapter a bad story does not make.
These 6 girls are the worst friends in the history of the universe.
Last chapter they found the shack where Sunset was existing - not living - and instead of getting her out then and there they decided to leave her in the freezing cold - the record freezing cold, by the way - and all went back to their nice warm secure warm cosy warm comfortable warm houses with the intent on saying something the next day.
Whatever happens to Sunset, and was about to happen to Sunset, is entirely on each of them.
Not only did they leave it to the next day, in record low temperatures, they left it till the end of the day. All they had to do was talk to Celestia or Luna and go and get Sunset sooner. These 6 suck at being friends.
So far this is very well written I like the pace of it and look forward to see the next chapter
7193663 Thank you, I have to admit it feels good to be writing again after so long.
7193679
Well keep it up this is really starting to take off I can't wait to see if Sunset is going to be alright.
Hope Sunset will be okay.
Aside from spellchecking and adding a word here or there where you left out a word. It seems alright to me. Stuff like Applejack's first (fist I assume). There were more in the previous chapters.
7194505 Yeah, i just really wasn't feeling this chapter as I wrote it. The next one will be better though. I promise.
At first I thought you were going to pull a Groundhogs Day lol
Still sucks for Sunset at this situation. So far this story is off to a good pace, If you need some grammar editors, I could help out, but that's up to you. I didn't see much errors in terms of grammar/spelling then again it's 7 am here so...
7194883 I might have to take you up on that. It would definitely help a lot. And don't worry, it's 10 for me and I am just now waking up.
Nice work on the chapter, but I have to say the first two chapters were better than this one. I still feel as though it was a great chapter and enjoyable to read, so keep it up! You're doing great!
7197315 Thanks for the comment. Like I said I wasn't really feeling this one, it felt more like a means to an end. The next one should feel a lot better.
7194846
I liked it, I'm just saying I only see nitpicky details. I do that too, in fact I hate the corner I wrote myself into in my story.
7202996 See part way through writing this I said to myself "Crap, did I just write myself into a corner. Gotta think of a way out and quick." Thats probably why I am still not too satisfied with the chapter. I am glad though that people seem to be enjoying it. One Sub-par chapter a bad story does not make.
Not a bad story can't wait to see where it goes
These 6 girls are the worst friends in the history of the universe.
Last chapter they found the shack where Sunset was existing - not living - and instead of getting her out then and there they decided to leave her in the freezing cold - the record freezing cold, by the way - and all went back to their nice warm secure warm cosy warm comfortable warm houses with the intent on saying something the next day.
Whatever happens to Sunset, and was about to happen to Sunset, is entirely on each of them.
Not only did they leave it to the next day, in record low temperatures, they left it till the end of the day. All they had to do was talk to Celestia or Luna and go and get Sunset sooner. These 6 suck at being friends.