Equestrian Graffiti

by Brass Polish

2 Oh Bold and Sneaky Spike the Droll and Artistic

Unfortunately, Sharp Ranger’s accusation had done its damage. As Spike and Nyx stood on the makeshift scaffolding washing the spray paint crab monster from the outside stadium walls, crystal ponies would call to him as they walked by congratulating him on the elaborate outdoor set up and giving them a good fright.

“That stupid Ranger made everypony think I’m a vandal,” groaned Spike.

“Not a vandal!” called an eavesdropping crystal pony. “A street artist!”

Spike didn’t look at the shouting pony and went about scrubbing the wall.

“At least nopony’s mad at you,” said Nyx.

“Yeah, but they still think I did this,” groaned Spike. “Look at all this. It would have taken me more than one night to set all this up.”

“So Nyx helped you!” called another eavesdropper.

Nyx tensed up.

“Wow. I know how you feel about being falsely accused now,” she moaned. “That’s the first time I’ve been berated for something I haven’t done.”

“I don’t think she was berating you,” replied Spike.

While the accusations weren’t angry ones and most of the crystal ponies appreciated the spectacle, it was still a little frustrating for Spike, who knew he was innocent.

It got worse when the clean-up crew started to take the piñatas down. One of them decided to have a little fun and use a club to break the piñatas. What came out of them pointed the blame right at Spike. Two crystal ponies confronted him about what they found.

“Wanna explain these?” they held out two diamonds and two emeralds.

“Uh… are you the craft service ponies?” asked Spike.

“These were in one of the piñatas,” said one of the cleaners.

“Only a dragon would think to fill a piñata with gems,” said the other.

“Somepony’s trying to frame me!” exclaimed Spike. “Why would anyone here try to frame me?! I thought you all liked me.”

“We do, oh Bold and Sneaky Spike, the Droll and Artistic,” said the cleaners.

“Droll and artistic?!” Spike spluttered. “Don’t call me that!”

Two more crystal ponies walked up.

“Hi, Spike! D’you want these back?”

They produced a hoofful of gemstones.

“Sure, I’ll… hey, they’re not mine!” snapped Spike.

Diamonds, rubies, and emeralds were found in every piñata that was taken down. No matter how tempting it was, Spike refused to accept them. He did not want to associate himself with any of these unannounced exhibitions. Many times a day, he would hear suggestions to drop the charade.

“You might as well own up. We all know it was you.”

“We’re not angry. You can confess.”

“The jig’s pretty much up, so you can take the credit.”

Spike denied everything every time and wouldn’t give in. This was starting to annoy the crystal ponies, especially when it came time to decide how to dispose of the piñatas, parachutes, and plastic tubes. No one knew what to do with the hamsters, and Spike was fuming every time someone asked him where he got them from in the first place. He got so angry at one point, he started setting the piñatas and parachutes on fire as a means of disposing on them.

“Hey, we coulda recycled the silk in those parachutes!” shouted a crystal pony. “Just because you set this up, doesn’t mean…”

Spike twitched and aimed his fire at the pony, who jumped back and let out an enraged yelp.

“What is it with crystal ponies?!” Spike was pacing in the throne room with Nyx, Shining Armour, and Cadance watching. “First they hate dragons when things go missing, then they love dragons after I find their relic, and now they hate dragons again!”

“They don’t hate dragons,” insisted Cadance.

“You didn’t hear them,” Spike groaned.

“Shining Armour told me what they think, and it’s clearly just a witch hunt,” said Cadance. “You want to know what I think?”

“What?”

“I think it might be Smokescreen.”

Nyx gasped. “You mean that royal guard who mutinied and is in hiding now?!”

“Please keep your voice down, Nyx,” coaxed Cadance.

“I can confirm that one of Smokescreen’s hobbies was arts and crafts,” said Shining Armour. “If it was him, it’d explain the smell coming from the piñatas and tubes.”

“Sounds like he’s teasing everypony,” said Nyx. “Coming into town as a puff of smoke and vandalising public property so close to members of the Royal Family.”

“It’s more likely than me being the culprit,” said Spike.

“I agree,” said Shining Armour. “Me and my soldiers will be on guard tonight in case the vandal strikes again. You two can head to bed. And thanks again for helping clean up.”

“I feel weird having a bed to myself while you’re down there in a basket,” frowned Nyx. “We’re practically the same size.”

“Well I won’t be sleeping down here tonight,” said Spike. “I’m gonna go see Cadance.”

“Why?”

“I remembered something from yesterday. Cadance said the last outdoor event she got to be at was an art exhibition,” said Spike, striding towards the door. “Maybe the culprit is one of the entrants from that show. Maybe that pony overheard and wanted to set up something Cadance could see from the castle windows.”

“You’re not leaving me here, are you?” Nyx groaned.

“You can come with me,” said Spike, placing his claws on the guestroom doorknob. “I really think Cadance and Shining Armour will want to know what I think.”

Nyx nodded and sprinted to the door before Spike opened it.

Spike swung the door open, hitting Flash Sentry and knocking him down. Spike glared as the disoriented guard picked himself up. Nyx hid behind the wary dragon.

“Whatcha doing there, Flash?” Spike inquired.

“I’m under orders from Captain Shining Armour to guard your door and report on your comings and goings,” answered Flash, standing to attention.

Spike glowered.

“You… you asked, and… I couldn’t lie,” Flash shuffled his hooves.

“Did the Captain say why he wanted someone to guard my door?” Spike asked through clenched teeth.

“It’s for security reasons,” said Flash. “In case more street art shows up.”

“Well,” said Spike with a false smile, “you can report to your captain that you saw me packing up and getting outta here.”

And the little dragon turned tail and began packing his bags. He left the door open so Flash could observe.

“Spike,” said Nyx, “are we really leaving?”

“Yep. I’ve had enough of this,” Spike’s teeth were still clenched. “If Shining Armour thought it was me, he shoulda just told me.”

“But Shining said he doesn’t…”

“Then how do you explain him keeping a guard posted outside my door?” growled Spike. “Come on, Nyx. We don’t need to be here anymore. The thunderstorm in Ponyville’s over. We’re going home.”

Nyx felt she’d somehow entered a storm regardless.

Flash accompanied Spike and Nyx, and also carried their luggage for them, as they made their way from their Crystal Castle guestroom to the train station. Unfortunately, there was a crystal guard patrolling the streets who spotted them.

“Huh! Good work, Sentry!” he called.

“Good work?” asked Flash.

“Caught him in the act! Oh, and Nyx was in on it, eh?!”

Now Nyx really wanted to leave. Flash just gave the crystal guard a stern look as he carried on to the station with the mortified Nyx and the livid Spike.

“If it’ll make you feel any better, I’m sure you’re innocent,” Flash said when they got to the platform.

This didn’t mean anything to Spike, as Shining Armour had told him that as well. Nothing more was said until the midnight local train arrived and took Spike and Nyx away.

“Oh, so Starlight hasn’t made any progress?” Spike’s eye twitched a little bit.

Twilight watched with bemusement as Spike stomped to his Ponyville Castle bedroom.

“Nyx, could you fill me in on this whole street art thing?” she asked.

“All of the crystal ponies think he did it,” Nyx frowned. “All the exhibits smelled like smoke, and there were diamonds and rubies in the piñatas.”

“Piñatas?”

Nyx told Twilight what the vandal had done, from the googly-eyed suits or armour to the spray paint crab thing.

“Spike said he hates the crystal ponies now,” said Nyx. “He says they’re fickle. And he’s mad at your brother too, for telling a guard to watch him during the night.”

Twilight looked towards Spike’s bedroom door and scratched her chin.

“Well, I better let him cool down for a bit. In the meantime, I’ll write to Shining Armour and let him know where Spike’s gone.”

When the news spread across the Crystal Empire that Spike wasn’t in town anymore, a lot of them thought he must be the vandal because no street art exhibitions had cropped up overnight. Shining Armour slapped his forehead when he got Twilight’s message that Spike was angry at him for placing a guard outside his room.

“I only did that so I could tell everyone in the morning that he never left his room,” he groaned. “Why didn’t you tell him that, Flash?”

“You never said that to me, Captain,” Flash responded.

“Listen, I want the real vandal found,” said Shining. “The sooner we find him, the sooner the crystal ponies learn the truth and Spike won’t have to be angry at us all anymore.”

“No need for that, Captain. We’ve got the culprit right here,” said Sharp Ranger, entering the room and ushering a crystal stallion into the room.

“This is him?” Shining demanded.

“Yes, sir. This is Desert Rose. He was the one who set up that display of gummy worms on fish hooks at that outdoor art show,” said Sharp Ranger.

Desert Rose nodded. “I have to confess I couldn’t wait for the next art show. I had so many ideas I wanted to try.”

“Why did you put gemstones in the piñatas?” asked Shining.

“Just to weigh them down,” replied Desert Rose. “I only filled the legs of the piñatas.”

“Where did the smoke smell come from?” asked Flash.

Shining felt pretty good that he was right when he guessed the vandal used liquid smoke as an adhesive.

“Well, it’s pretty useless for its intended purpose,” sighed Desert Rose. “I found that out the hard way.”

Everyone was wrong when they thought this was the end of the matter. Twilight gave Spike the message that Shining Armour, Cadance, the castle guards, and the crystal ponies knew he was innocent, but his feelings did not change.

“One day, I’m their idol,” he sulked. “The next, I’m their scapegoat. You think I’m gonna forgive them just like that? Get outta here.”

“I know you’re upset, Spike,” said Twilight, “but if you don’t forgive them, it’ll damage their morale and the Crystal Heart will falter. They do love you there.”

“Crystal Heart. Ha! It’ll get going again when the Air Sprinting starts,” grunted Spike. “They’ll forget all about me.”

“They couldn’t possibly forget about the one who brought the Crystal Heart to them in the first place,” insisted Twilight.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. They’ll remember me as the Bold and Sneaky Spike, the Droll and Artistic,” Spike said in a mocking voice. “If those crystal ponies love me so much, why did one of them frame me for vandalism? Huh?”

Twilight had no answer for Spike all day.

The following morning however, the answer showed up at the castle.

“Hey, Twily,” said Shining Armour. “We’d have just written back, but we thought Spike should hear us out face to face.”

Twilight wasn’t sure what to make of Desert Rose and Sharp Ranger being with Shining Armour.

“I don’t see how bringing the real culprit to him will get him to let go of his grudge,” she said.

“Yeah. Unless you brought him here so I can throw tomatoes at him.”

Spike stood in the doorway with his arms crossed and his face sullen.

“You caught the guy, so just give him a fine or community service or whatever and leave me out of it,” he grumbled.

“We didn’t catch him, Spike,” Sharp Ranger said as Spike started to turn his back. “He came forward. He turned himself in.”

Spike spun back around and looked curiously at Desert Rose.

“I never knew you were catching the blame. I was asleep all day. You can probably guess why,” Desert Rose grimaced. “But when I caught wind that you were mad at all us crystal ponies and threatened to never return to the Empire, I had to confess. I didn’t want you to hate us all. And I still don’t. You’re a hero to us. And I’m sorry I almost took that away from you.”

Spike softened. “You took me saying I’d never go to the Crystal Empire again as a threat?”

“Well, yeah.”

“So, Spike,” said Shining Armour, “would you come back to the Empire for a little while? Just to let the crystal ponies give you their personal apologies?”

“I’m sure they all would have come here, but you can’t exactly send an entire population away just for that,” Desert Rose said, a grin crossing his face for the first time.

Spike was well convinced. He wasn’t pleased to have to make a round trip, but he felt he owed it to the crystal ponies if they genuinely wanted to offer him their apologies. He also felt he owed them one.

“Maybe I was being stubborn,” he said while riding the train with Shining, Sharp, and Desert. “I shouldn’t have let this bad experience ruin the way I feel about the Crystal Empire altogether. I do like it there, even without all the fans.”

Desert Rose was elated. “It was definitely worth turning myself in to hear you say that.”

“There’s another bright side for you, Desert,” smirked Sharp Ranger. “Know that we know you set all that up, we can give you your hamsters back.”

Author's Note:

The minimal amount of spoilers I've had the misfortune to stumble upon had a bit of an effect on this story.

Comments

[The Descendant]

I'm sorry that this didn't receive more attention. Did you submit it to some of the Past Sins groups?

[Brass Polish]

7040036 I've never submitted to any particular groups.

[The Descendant]

7040767
You really should consider doing so. It is the only real way to place your story in front of an audience who is looking for that particular type of story.

[Doctor_Den]

History is interesting but I did not understand why there is Nyx. If you replace it on any other character and your story would not change

[Brass Polish]

9745955
Basically, she's in this story to give Spike an excuse to visit the Crystal Empire.