Things can go wrong quickly in the 25th century. What was a vacation for your average kid is now an identity crisis in a world that isn't black and white and line between real and unreal is erased. Your friends aren't who you think they are
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d'oh, thought this was the chap you were taking care of that pesky amnesia crap. Oh well, time to hold my breath once more and await the next installment.
How many arcs are you currently planning on?
Is that liable to change?
YAY! another bioshock infinite refernce plus use of my favorite song
2748868 Yes, I know it's bad in the beginning.
Believe me, publishing chapters for it now makes me a little uneasy because I know how the first few chapters are not up to par with the rest of the story. But again, I started writing this over a year ago so there is bound to be a discrepancy with the quality over time. And yes it was in the feature box once upon a time. I'm not going to be bragging about that nor will I go around spamming that all over this story. I'd prefer for the writing to do it's job. As for profanity, the main characters are teenagers, do you honestly think that's not what teens do a lot of? Even a year ago I was trying to base the dialog off of realistic conversations I had had with my friends. That is what teenagers do; swearing and cursing everything. Granted not all of them do that but most do. I don't know what you find wrong with the physics considering you cited a damaged space plane falling back toward the atmosphere. I never explained just what happened nor will I. If you are citing the fire in space, things can still burn if they have the necessary components near by. And it's a science fiction. It's not going to be perfect. Science fictions allow flexibility.
I know people judge a story by it's first few chapters and I wouldn't ask you to do any different because frankly it's what I do. If you don't like it then that's your prerogative.
2750092 Wow, Nice touch with the ending there. I love it, and I somehow managed to read it in time with the song...Without the constants use of the chorus.
Also, unless you did this purposely
The last line is sung 'In the Sky, in the Sky'
I just pointed it out just incase it was a mistake?
FUCK ALL THE CLIFF HANGERS IN THE WORLD!
Can't wait for more.
i.imgur.com/Nrxx1KK.gif
So glad this updated, it saved me from boredom!
You know what would be awesome? If Jett could use that mercury-like skin of his to turn it into a sort of battle armor. If he can make it turn into skin, why not harden metal?
2750136 Nope. Did that on purpose.
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2750136in Infinite, th' sky is as far as they've gotten. in this, they've been to th' stars and back.
EFFECKING AWESOME.
also, you wanker. you didn't wrap up th' amnesia.
2751463 I know, I know, I have finals coming up and I wanted to get something out for you people to read. It WILL be wrapped up next chapter though. I guarantee it.
2751484where do you go? i've been out about a month.
2751518 America is stupid like that. Fortunately I've taken all AP classes so most of my work was done a month ago too. But still I had stuff to do in two classes and thus continued to have to attend.
There's only a few people in my high school I actually talk to since most of the other people there I find annoying or just plain mean.
2751532i'm a nerd that goes to th' biggest football high school in th' country.
how do you think i feel?
2751573 Ouch. In all honesty at my school, more than half the jokes me and my friends crack go right over everyone else's heads because they're either too stupid to get them or just don't pay attention to anything that's not sports of jersey fucking shore. And typically the jokes they crack, i say jokes lightly, because I shit you not some of them literally make the same joke every single fucking day, word for goddamn word, and people still fucking laugh at it. They're not even funny either. I don't know if it's because I'm too much of an over intelligent elitist snob or if it's because most people in my school have the same sense of humor as a block of fucking cheese. But whatever.
2751612i go to a football school. i'm on th' swim team. i'm manager of th' cross country team. Swim team looses 1 meet, cross country team undefeated that year. nothing. football team looses 3 times during championships, everyone gets out of school early.
2751652Why?
2751668because th' football team matters and everything else can go to pot.
2751691 Of course. My school is more or less divided into three groups. Normal people and I use that term loosely make up the most, the total dicks and stuck up chicks, make up the second largest amount, and finally smart people who are few and far between. And each grade that comes in progressively get's stupider.
2751711ditto. except i'm at an all-guys school.
and nice Bowling for Soup reference.
2751792 It's not all sunshine and rainbows at a coed school either. For instance we had voting for class officers today and I voted for A Provoked Crab as Prom Chair rather than the only girl running for it.
Pretty sure its "Roger" not "Rodger" unless its interchangeable?
I've never looked into it, but its the only possible grammar error I've seen in this chapter.
This chapter was one of the most painful things I have ever read. And it was due to your writing. With that said, it was no lack of proficiency on your part, but rather that you included singing. I hate singing. No really, I do. I literally have to read two lines before I go off and do something else for a few minutes, it's really that bad. In fact, I would have skipped over it had I not seen Jett's name in a certain paragraph, so I was afraid I would miss an important plot point. Otherwise it was an enjoyable chapter though.
You keep using duel instead of dual. Duel is when (for example) two people are sword-fighting: Dueling cavaliers. Dual is when there are two of something: Dual engines.
I'm also pretty sure that the military doesn't use rodger instead of roger. Think the battle droids from the Star Wars prequels.
2751833i would've done Phillip J. Fry or Homer Simpson myself.
Hurry with the next chapter please!!!
2753397 Meh , thought I'd try something different. Can't please everyone.
Why do you hate singing so much?
2755984 To be perfectly honest, I have no idea. I just do. You know? Birds chirp, chiptunes sounds good with the Kenji Ito spin, DnD players are easy to annoy when one uses deliberately hard to read dice, and I don't like singing.
I guess I'm more of a piano guy, and I find singing awkward at the best of times. And I have trouble reading awkward things. That and I think that singing has little to no place in a story personally, much like the passive voice, or a B in a D blues hextatonic scale, meaning it can be used but it has to be the right situation for me to consider not putting off reading the story for a month.
With that said, it's not that the chapter wasn't pleasing, but it did take a disproportionately long amount of time to complete.
A Q&A? Goooooooood.
So about After the Fall. When will Jax and his Ajax be making their debut in Cyberfire? I have noticed a fer references to their existence such as Spitfire mentioning them near the beginning of the story and the mention of Vinyl Scratch in one of the recent chapters.
Also nice insert of the story title into this chapter.
Starry....
followed by a i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/2487942400/h9F083AE9/
and then the funeral services
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and now I have to wait for the next Chap.
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I have been holding off on gushin...commenting UNTILL the final chapter but OH MY GOD! I LOVE the cloud atlas theme you have going, and this chapter? Splitting these two seperate yet same twists of fate? I'm a guy but man am I FANGIRLING! Take all my mostaches good sir!
He's about to discover them.....
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130930021938/powerlisting/images/8/8f/Dis_gon_be_good.gif
Will the circle be unbroken really adds sad emotion to the TURKEY SHOOT.
I'm kinda scratching my head over this one. I mean, first you tell us it is more complex, then you elaborate that you really mean more intense. You describe a highly variable concatenation of intangible physical phenomena as having 'thickness'. You then let us know that the EMP weapon delivers an EMP for less energy than a weapon that is not designed to generate an EMP, which seems like it's flirting with tautology. These are not exactly wrong, per se, but they are oddly phrased and more than a little vague.
The idea that this is the most intense EMP ever, though, is just absurd. Pretty much any sufficiently powerful release of energy is going to generate an EMP as a side-effect. On the human scale, we have nukes, for instance. At close range, naturally, you're more concerned by the expanding ball of radioactive doom than the electrical interference, but it's there. On a larger scale, we have solar flares, which are intense enough to cause problems at a range of 93 million miles. Imagine how powerful one of these is at point blank range. While I don't think we've ever gotten a chance to measure it directly, I think it's safe to say that a supernova generates an EMP that would put any mere solar flare - and also the 'Peacemakers' - to shame.
Um, sorry if I'm nitpicking. I can overlook any number of literary sins, but when it comes to science... well, I just can't help myself.
Sooooo sorry for starry and whatshisnamewellidontgiveafuckabouthimanyway