The Colt Behind The Cape (Special Short)
The Doctor entered the last room on the left and shut the door behind him quietly. He took the only remaining seat in the room—the one across from the small grey colt with icy blue mane and tail. At the moment, the colt was safety fastened in a royal blue straightjacket. The colt’s only request was that it be royal blue and not the standard white.
“Good morning, Sweet Glaze,” the Doctor began, levitating a clipboard and quill in front of him using his aura. “Hope you slept well.”
It was obvious Sweet Glaze rarely slept… or even blinked for that matter. Currently, he had deep bags under his eyes and remained focused on one of the walls of his room. His usual sitting position, the Doctor had come to realize.
“Do you want to answer me, Sweet Glaze?” the Doctor asked. “I would like it if we could have a conversation this morning.”
Sweet Glaze continued to stare at the wall—a dreamy expression on his face.
The Doctor sighed. “Fine. Have it your way. Can I speak with Bad Dude, then?”
At once, Sweet Glaze turned to him. “Hello there! I’m Bad Dude! And I’m part of the Coalition of—”
The Doctor waved a hoof. “Yes, Bad Dude, I know. I know a lot about you, in fact. I only wish I could call you by your real name when we have these conversations of ours. You do remember your real name, don’t you?”
Sweet Glaze nodded. “Of course I do. I’m just not supposed to use it right now. I’m Bad Dude now! And I can’t let anyone know my secret identity!”
The Doctor raised a brow. “The secret identity that’s somehow guarded by only a blue cape and nothing more?”
“Exactly!” Sweet Glaze replied happily.
Using his horn, the Doctor made a few notes on his clipboard. “If you’d be so kind, Bad Dude, refresh my memory: what nefarious deeds have your group of super villains been up to lately?”
This question made Sweet Glaze so overjoyed he literally started wiggling in his seat. “We attacked the Crystal Empire together! And we even got a hostage out of it! Shining Armor! Now I’m going to take care of him and see if he wants to join our group. Why wouldn’t he? We have a yogurt machine! Or a changeling that makes us yogurt sometimes.”
The Doctor cleared his throat. “You’ve already made that joke, Bad Dude. But more importantly… you say you attacked the Crystal Empire and managed to take a hostage with you? And none of the Princesses or Elements of Harmony were able to stop you? Was any member of your team injured, perchance?”
Sweet Glaze shook his head. “Nope! We all made it back to our base just fine!”
“So once again, you and your team of villains get everything they want with little to no trouble from the forces fighting against you. Doesn’t that seem, I don’t know, a little impossible sounding?”
This made Sweet Glaze frown. “Why would you say that? It happened! I was there!”
Glumly, the Doctor shook his head. “But you weren’t there, Bad Dude. You haven’t left this very room in three months. The Crystal Empire is fine; Shining Armor is still safe and sound with his wife; Tirek is still well-guarded in Tartarus; King Sombra remains dead to this day; Queen Chrysalis has yet to show herself since the wedding attack; Discord is still a dick, yes, but not of the terrible variety you claim. Most importantly, though, is that you are not Bad Dude. You are Sweet Glaze—a very normal child with no ‘cute’ powers to speak of. Only one very, very vivid imagination.”
Sweet Glaze shook his head indignantly. “No! No, you’re wrong! Why… why my cute powers are so strong, I even took down Princess Celestia and Luna both! They were in the hospital because of me!”
“Again, Sweet Glaze,” the Doctor spoke softly, “you’re only masking the truth with what you’d like to see. Those Princesses that thought you were so adorable? They were only two of this hospital’s nurses who’d happened to remark on how cute they thought you were. Did you injure them with some untold powers? No. They just so happened to have taken long vacations right after meeting you. You didn’t leave them bedridden. You’ve actually never met with the Princesses.”
“You’re lying!” Sweet Glaze protested. “I’m changing Equestrian history! And my villain friends and I are gonna be such good rulers!”
The Doctor brought the tip of his quill up to his chin to think. “This is nothing more than a case of vast wish fulfillment. You had trouble making friends in a new school and thought that no one understood you. That’s when things changed for you: suddenly you became this character known as ‘Bad Dude’ and every one of your favorite villains wanted to be around you and take over the world together; suddenly that one bully in school becomes nice to you for no reason at all; suddenly you get that special birthday party you always wanted with all your schoolmates.”
The Doctor shut his eyes for a moment. “I think your ability to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s only fantasy happened right after the moment no one attended that birthday party of yours. Since then, you’d decided to smother your problems with imaginary tales and absurd fantastical situations. But it’s just not real, Sweet Glaze. None of it is. You’re not the only one hurting because of this. Your parents are, too. They want their sweet little boy back.”
The Doctor put a delicate hoof on Sweet Glaze’s shoulder. “You need to come back to reality, Sweet Glaze. Before it’s too late.”
Sweet Glaze took a long moment before answering. Eventually, his eyes left the Doctor and returned to the wall right in front of him. “But I’m Bad Dude now.”
***
Both of Sweet Glaze’s parents stood up from their seats when the Doctor entered the waiting room. He shook hooves with Donut Joe before anyone talked.
“So what’s happening with him?” Donut Joe asked. “Is he… is he starting to understand it’s only fantasy yet, Doc?”
The Doctor shook his head gravely. “I’m afraid not. He’s so deeply entwined with his own story that splitting them apart is still next to impossible. I’ll order for another round of electroshock therapy soon to see if that might help.”
“Doesn’t that seem a little excessive, Doctor?” Sweet Glaze’s mother questioned.
“Oh, yes. Yes, indeed,” the Doctor replied. “But unless you can think of a way to pierce into Sweet Glaze’s fantasy world and bring inside of it the knowledge that none of it’s real… well, we just don’t have that kind of technology in this hospital.”
“What does that mean, then?” Donut Joe said. “We’re left to sit on our hooves and wait?”
The Doctor nodded. “Sadly, yes. But what really gets me about the whole thing is the sheer absurdity of Sweet Glaze’s fantasy: the ability to always get his way; the random abuse of his cute powers depending on who he’s with; the ridiculous romantic relationship between Sombra and Chrysalis that he somehow put in motion; the odd shifts in tone between cute, silly, dark, and weird; the complete lack of noteworthy antagonists; his repeated inability to tell the difference between ‘there’ and ‘their’.”
Using his hoof, the Doctor rubbed at his temples. “I could go on, so I will: the random side characters that are introduced only to add nothing to the overall plot; the numerous unknown character motivations; that Discord wouldn’t feel worse for hurting Fluttershy again; those oddly sexual jokes that a child his age shouldn’t even understand; and when the heck is Luna gonna do something?”
Donut Joe loudly cleared his throat. “Could you not pick apart my poor son’s imaginary world, Doc? He’s a troubled child that needs our help right now.” Donut Joe’s eyes started watering. “I just want my son back, Doc. I want Sweet Glaze back. Not this character he’s become.”
“I share your pain, Mr. and Mrs. Joe,” the Doctor told them quietly. “I truly do. If it turns out there is no actual way of breaking Sweet Glaze out of his self-made world, then the best course of action would be to hurry this story of his along until he either can’t be this ‘Bad Dude’ persona anymore or simply doesn’t want to be ‘Bad Dude’ anymore.”
“And what if our son never finishes this story of his?” Donut Joe asked with bated breath.
The Doctor glanced at the floor somberly. “Then the best part of it would’ve remained that story about Tic, Tac, and Toe stealing those donuts.”
In case it isn't obvious enough: April Fools! 
Realized it was April Fools in a couple days and thought about writing this. So I did. And should I die before finishing this story, then consider this the real ending. 
Still better than the ending of "Secret Window", right?
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.... You had me going there... I was gonna get sad...
You probably know more about psychiatry than I do, but I think the doctor handled that horribly, Rather than saying 'Your story isn't real child' I would point out all the little impossibilities, and let the colt explain them, and I will see how deep the rabbit hole goes.
I'm looking way too deep into an april fools joke, aren't I?
I actually enjoy this version more than the actual story. I say leave this as canon.
Well that got dark quickly...
You had me worried for a moment there. I thought you were going to pull a Shyamalan on us.
As soon as I read "Special short" I knew what was coming.
I forgot to add this story to my tracking, so now, I have all these chapters to read.
Aaaaaaarrrrdrrrggggggghhhhhh........
Someday somebody will actually do something like this April 1st chapter for real as a legitimate ending to a story. I mean, there's trolling, and then there's spending a massive fortune on building the world's largest bridge so that you can live underneath it
also, you should've marked this story as Complete
You nearly got me ...
Dude I was going to cry if that was all true damn you got me good
The moment they wanted to keep Shining Armor I wanted it to be an april joke,....well maybe not but he is not my favourite.
Well I knew it, but since I really want to read something even on those days, I´m always hoping that not many people are actually doing this.....well at least I had at least one real chapter today, and this one wasn´t to bad either, even for well april.
Nice April Fool's chapter, but if that was actually part of the story, then that would've been a sad story for poor Sweet Glaze/Bad Dude.
Call me a horrible person if you must. But that chapter was pretty funny. Don't get me wrong if it wasn't an april fools chapter I would feel very sad. Very good work with this chapter.
'Course it's April Fools. That's why RD didn't die
=)
(Sorry I keep bringing that up, it's just..... Fantasy vs Reality ;) )
No! Please no! Especially when the story tags are ‘Comedy’, ‘Random’, and ‘Slice of Life’!
Also, it’s actually April 2nd here.
You got me with that joke! I really was... fooled!
7085783 The only thing I could do worse would be to kill Bad Dude off somehow. I... really can't see that happening, though.
7085686 That would be a pretty big letdown after 70k. It was all in his head!
7085502 I really didn't want to trick people with this chapter. Just... what if this happened? That's why there's the "special short" tag.
7085472 Sadly, it could work as an ending. A terrible, lame, mean and sad ending, but still an ending.
New headcanon accepted! It's all an elaborate fantasy inside of a lonely colts head.
7085445
Let the sadness flow through you...
7085431 Excellent....
7085423 I really should have marked this as Complete. That would've been amazing. Congrats on the feature, by the way!
7085387 Better brew a pot of coffee then...
7085300 Keep on getting worse and worse yet still find work?
Oh, I think I've been doing that for a while now.
7085274 I hope you read the author's note...
7085263 You got it!
Whatever happens after this is all in Sweet Glaze's head. Can't wait until he transforms into an alicorn! Can you?
7085244 Every side character in my stories are completely terrible at their jobs. It's basically a running joke by now.
7085216 Sorry about that.
Random slice of life stuff coming up!
7085982 Best prank I've seen all day... next to Beach City Bugle's little joke and the ongoing war on Equestria Daily. YAY, SLICE OF LIFE!
Ah... Ah-Ah ain't cryin...
*sniffles*
por-img.cimcontent.net/cms/data/assets/bin-201412/bf0e31aae9aa22b190114c82805f271a_600x400.jpg
There and their. That should of been the clue!
Ouch, dark April fool's joke. Thought it makes sense, seeing as the story itself is comedic gold.
I wouldn't be entirely disappointed with this ending...
This is probably the best "he was crazy all along" jokes I've seen.
First time an april fools joke got me
Only giant assholes upload April fools chapters.
I don't know how to feel considering I love this story.
I see you ordered the industrial-size box of lampshades for today.
7085982 I got this huge crate of Starbucks espresso next to my computer...
When I first saw this chapter yesterday I decided to read it tomorrow, and then I read it completely forgetting about April Fools Day
It was still pretty nice though
NO
Wow, that was freaky. Thank Luna for April Fools' Day; I'm just gonna ignore this chapter to stave off the horror.
April Fools Equestria:
A land where anti-psychotics were never invented.
7088821 Best plan of action.
7087605 I like meta humor. And I like making fun of myself.
7087354 Oh, come on. It's my first one. I only wanted to get in on the fun.
Just... pretend it didn't happen, okay?
7086881 Is that a good thing?
7086539 Thank you!
7086012 I was thinking of that a bit while writing. Never watched that show, though.
Everything that happened in the story took place in the mind of an autistic foal with a Crystal Empire snow globe... who was actually in the head of Bob Newhart, who woke up screaming about magical unicorns.
Was a day late reading this, but still liked it. Hope to get another one, should your story last another year.
-_-. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . . . . . ..I see no humor in this.
God... I actually fell for that...
Wow, that made me really really sad. I am so glad that was an April fools chapter. My fault for waiting until today to read it and not checking the upload date...
Well played. Very well done. Probably the single best April fools chapter I've ever seen: Would completely ruin the story while not being outside of the realm of possibility.
... *slow clap* You got me. You actually got me... Although... not going to lie, This WOULD make for an insanely cool plot twist. I mean, wow. I would actually read this even more (not possible but fuck physics) if it was canon to the story. But, your story bro, not mine.
Damnit April fools was Saturday for me and it's Monday at this timezone and I din't check the update time so you got me pretty damn good
I must confess, I forgot to check the update's date.
So, even if a few days late, you got me!
I liked "Secret Window," but maybe they should have kept the original ending where Shooter ultimately fails and Mort gets gunned down, because it's kinda stupid that a trained cop could get taken out by a delusional writer with a shovel.
7095123 I didn't like the ending because when it first came out, I was watching it with a friend and in the first ten minutes, I said, "This better not end like Fight Club or I'll be pissed." And... then it did! Book is better, as usual.
7093975 I aim to annoy.
7093702 Perfectly understandable.
I seem to have split the audience recently. I like dark. But that doesn't mean the rest of this story will be all that dark. Still, thanks for reading as much as you have.
7092738 I think that's what makes the April Fools joke even worse. The fact that it "could" be possible, just really disappointing.
7092252
I laugh at your misfortune.
7089717 This story still going on a year from now? I really hope it's done by then.
7095615 Oh yeah, like I said, I did like it in the book, which is weird because the book had a "lighter" ending, although not that light.
I would have gone to your house and burned it down if this was the end. Don't you ever joke around like that again. You hear me? No. Bad derpy! Bad!
Now go in the corner and think about what you've done.
7095615
Hey, some stories on FimFic have gone multiple years updating once a month. It might happen.
But if it doesn't we'll totally understand.
Now every time something outrageous happens, we will all wonder, "What if it really is just his imagination?"