A very nice chapter. You do a good job making Pinkie relate able.
I think that Pinkie was a band kid personally she fits a lot of the characteristics. Granted I think she would also be a cheerleader too (heck if allowed Pinkie would probably join the athletic teams too just for fun) as you can be both.
I also thought it was funny and appropriate that Pinkie was also the first (and perhaps only) person to get Dash to have a "moment" with another woman.
and he had the advantage was of being able go much longer without giving in than her
I think you might've had a minor stroke mid-sentence.
"What's there to tell? You've been her pretty much half her life now."
While this sounds like a delightful story in and of itself, I believe you missed the word friend somewhere in there.
"But I need you to fuck you like you hate me."
That would probably need some serious gymnastic work. Or a visit to the Mirror Pool.
"it was good for me. So thank you."
Extra line there.
You know, I've noticed this trend with erotica in this site that, while not necessarily bad, must be indicative of some underlying issue.
There are dozens of thousands of stories that deal with love--many of which do so remarkably well--and yet there are very few that take the time to explore sex as a way of expressing that love. Conversely, there are probably other thousands upon thousands of clopfics that use romance as nothing more than a starting point to justify the characters getting down to business rather than another layer to the act of sex.
As a result, the number of stories that take the time to blend love and lust is dishearteningly low. What's more, within these stories there are still troubles (or at least, there are if you're a nitpicking wart like me). Because a lot are done in a way that the sex itself is still separate from the romance. If you take the sex away and the story still stands on its own, then I have to wonder if the sex isn't just gratuituous. Much the same way, if you take the romantic aspects from them and you still get a satisfying erotic tale, then is the romance just there to make the sex not as shallow as it would otherwise be?
In all the time I've been in this site, I've come accross very few stories that successfully manage to pull off an enthralling love/lust tale that blends all aspects of what I've already mentioned and delivers a satisfying story.
This is definitely one of them.
You really get the reader to care for the characters, and that investment in their motivations and aspirations make the ultimate resolution have all that more impact, and that's something I've so rarely come accross in romance, and it is immensely gratifying.
Of course, if I was an asshole, I'd also say something about how the diverging narratives that stem from the initial premise make the subsequent development of the feelings of each of the girls come off more as an attempt to deliver years worth of sexual tension and introspective analysis within the the first arc of their growing relationship with Spike as to more easily justify each of their decisions leading to physical intimacy when the story would have benefitted from setting up all of that beforehand in which case the sleepover scene and ensuing bet would have carried much more impact seeing how the stakes would now be higher and the reaction of the losing girls in each scenario would have felt more natural and carry more depth instead of feeling like reassertions of themes already explored in the preceding stories.
...
Good thing I'm not.
Anyway, congratulations on a well done story, and I look forward to what this year will bring.
I honestly don't blame you for finding this chapter particularly hard to write due to Pinkie's underlying complexity but I'd say you've done no worse than any other writer trying to decipher her. You kept the erotica to a minimum in exchange for focus on character study so I can tell you were really trying with this one. Kudos!
Dash was pretty hilarious as always but I found the middle bits with her and Jack sort of filler or maybe there was more meant to it than that. I dunno, I'm not that bright...
Spike and Twilight's interactions are always my favorite I have to admit and there was good stuff here. It definitely seems it's building up to something and that's what I'm looking forward to most. And of course she'd use her half of the wager for a chance at study so no surprises there.
So, glad to see this alive and for me it's a good start to 2017. Let's keep it going!
Y'know what I admire most about this story? You're taking the time and making the effort to make Spike's relationship to each of these characters work. I can honestly say that, as much as I loved Spike/Fluttershy in the previous chapters, goddamn if I'm not wholly on the Spike/Pinkie train at this point.
You're gonna get to Rarity and I'm gonna lose my mind.
Your Pinkie Pie is, without a doubt, recognisably the character we all know and love. But you add a twist of melancholy, maturity, and perspective that in this story makes her such a believable character and love interest for Spike. Even her confusion, knowing that she wants him but being unable to quite put it into words, works so well. And the effort you put into making it clear why she and Spike would work together... excellent.
The best compliment I can give you is that this chapter was, beyond any shadow of a doubt, worth the wait.
*see's update* *TWENTY THOUSAND WORDS* Better buckle up, buttercup... we're going on a feels trip.
Even though it's already been said, THANK YOU for putting so much effort into this. You really captured that rare narrative tone of meaning and... uh... stuff, yes. Amazing work m8.
You've done an amazing job with Pinkie in this story. Amazing.
I'm sorry I can't express it any better. I'll just say that this is one of my favorite - if not the favorite - expressions of her character. Thank you for writing this.
You did good took me two days to read because of being busy and I got confused but I think that's because I was to busy imagining the story with the great detail you had and not reading it for real loved it hope for more
7385235 There's a reason the first chapter was so different, actually. Initially, I was planning on just doing Applejack's story on its own, but I had a few ideas laying around for the other characters and decided to do them all. The camping chapter came about before the wager one did, since there needed to be a reason for all the stories to be linked.
I'm not sure if you've noticed, or if it's obvious, but generally how I've structured the story is that things get less serious when there are more people involved. The sections with only two people are much more intimate than the ones with most or all of the main cast there.
Thanks for the review, though. I'm looking forward to Rarity's as well, and I think hers will be the biggest surprise with where I take it. I'm honestly surprised people liked Pinkie's arc as much as they did, it was probably my least favorite out of the ones so far.
I find it endlessly hilarious that the word count of this chapter is so different than the others. I mean ya got 7k's and 8k's and then this one comes along like 'Rahhhhh! 21k!'. It just makes me giggle.
Please for the love of God, and all that is holy, please keep writing this. Never have I read a fanfic that was so well written, established realistic scenarios for all characters and delved in deep to character interpersonal thoughts. This read is astounding.
Sorry for the false alarm just now. The "publish" button is right next to the button for leaving the text editor, and I pressed it by accident. This isn't the first time it has happened, either.
The chapter is at 7500 words currently, and I'm aiming for as much as triple that amount before it's ready for publishing.
Oh, hey.
It updated!
No, not yet.
SPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH
A very nice chapter. You do a good job making Pinkie relate able.
I think that Pinkie was a band kid personally she fits a lot of the characteristics. Granted I think she would also be a cheerleader too (heck if allowed Pinkie would probably join the athletic teams too just for fun) as you can be both.
I also thought it was funny and appropriate that Pinkie was also the first (and perhaps only) person to get Dash to have a "moment" with another woman.
Well...damn....I had to stop reading a couple times to get my feelings in order. This was great, heavy, and cheerful,good job and keep it up.
From what I can tell you're going through the cast, but will Twilight herself have a chapter? I think it would be amusing if the bottle landed on her.
I think you might've had a minor stroke mid-sentence.
While this sounds like a delightful story in and of itself, I believe you missed the word friend somewhere in there.
That would probably need some serious gymnastic work. Or a visit to the Mirror Pool.
Extra line there.
You know, I've noticed this trend with erotica in this site that, while not necessarily bad, must be indicative of some underlying issue.
There are dozens of thousands of stories that deal with love--many of which do so remarkably well--and yet there are very few that take the time to explore sex as a way of expressing that love. Conversely, there are probably other thousands upon thousands of clopfics that use romance as nothing more than a starting point to justify the characters getting down to business rather than another layer to the act of sex.
As a result, the number of stories that take the time to blend love and lust is dishearteningly low. What's more, within these stories there are still troubles (or at least, there are if you're a nitpicking wart like me). Because a lot are done in a way that the sex itself is still separate from the romance. If you take the sex away and the story still stands on its own, then I have to wonder if the sex isn't just gratuituous. Much the same way, if you take the romantic aspects from them and you still get a satisfying erotic tale, then is the romance just there to make the sex not as shallow as it would otherwise be?
In all the time I've been in this site, I've come accross very few stories that successfully manage to pull off an enthralling love/lust tale that blends all aspects of what I've already mentioned and delivers a satisfying story.
This is definitely one of them.
You really get the reader to care for the characters, and that investment in their motivations and aspirations make the ultimate resolution have all that more impact, and that's something I've so rarely come accross in romance, and it is immensely gratifying.
Of course, if I was an asshole, I'd also say something about how the diverging narratives that stem from the initial premise make the subsequent development of the feelings of each of the girls come off more as an attempt to deliver years worth of sexual tension and introspective analysis within the the first arc of their growing relationship with Spike as to more easily justify each of their decisions leading to physical intimacy when the story would have benefitted from setting up all of that beforehand in which case the sleepover scene and ensuing bet would have carried much more impact seeing how the stakes would now be higher and the reaction of the losing girls in each scenario would have felt more natural and carry more depth instead of feeling like reassertions of themes already explored in the preceding stories.
...
Good thing I'm not.
Anyway, congratulations on a well done story, and I look forward to what this year will bring.
is each path gonna be longer than the last?
Glad to see this update again. The chapter was very nice an emotional.
(And hot at some points.)
PRAISE BE YOU YET LIVE THANK YOU
And back we are!
I honestly don't blame you for finding this chapter particularly hard to write due to Pinkie's underlying complexity but I'd say you've done no worse than any other writer trying to decipher her. You kept the erotica to a minimum in exchange for focus on character study so I can tell you were really trying with this one. Kudos!
Dash was pretty hilarious as always but I found the middle bits with her and Jack sort of filler or maybe there was more meant to it than that. I dunno, I'm not that bright...
Spike and Twilight's interactions are always my favorite I have to admit and there was good stuff here. It definitely seems it's building up to something and that's what I'm looking forward to most. And of course she'd use her half of the wager for a chance at study so no surprises there.
So, glad to see this alive and for me it's a good start to 2017. Let's keep it going!
Nice!
Spike's right, waiting really does make it better.
Gotta fo faster, faster, FASTER FASTER FASTER
Y'know what I admire most about this story? You're taking the time and making the effort to make Spike's relationship to each of these characters work. I can honestly say that, as much as I loved Spike/Fluttershy in the previous chapters, goddamn if I'm not wholly on the Spike/Pinkie train at this point.
You're gonna get to Rarity and I'm gonna lose my mind.
Your Pinkie Pie is, without a doubt, recognisably the character we all know and love. But you add a twist of melancholy, maturity, and perspective that in this story makes her such a believable character and love interest for Spike. Even her confusion, knowing that she wants him but being unable to quite put it into words, works so well. And the effort you put into making it clear why she and Spike would work together... excellent.
The best compliment I can give you is that this chapter was, beyond any shadow of a doubt, worth the wait.
Keep it coming.
This arc just moved this from a tracked story to a favorites one for me. I really love the way you handle her character in this.
*see's update*
*TWENTY THOUSAND WORDS*
Better buckle up, buttercup... we're going on a feels trip.
Even though it's already been said, THANK YOU for putting so much effort into this. You really captured that rare narrative tone of meaning and... uh... stuff, yes. Amazing work m8.
You've done an amazing job with Pinkie in this story.
Amazing.
I'm sorry I can't express it any better.
I'll just say that this is one of my favorite - if not the favorite - expressions of her character.
Thank you for writing this.
Pinkie's the toughest of the main characters to write, but damn, you nailed it.
that made me laugh pfft
You filthy cocktease.
More than made up for by the stellar writing, but dammit I keep on thinking it's time to whip it out and it just that isn't xD
More super terrible fan art!!! Sorry, but I couldn't stop myself!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/1/23/1345734__safe_artist-colon-steadfast+hoof_pinkie+pie_spike_equestria+girls_doodle_humanized_implied+spike_pinkiespike_shipping_sketch_straight.png
7889283 I like this! It's more or less what I wanted people to think of when I described her outfit.
7889361 thx! ...s-senpai
You did good took me two days to read because of being busy and I got confused but I think that's because I was to busy imagining the story with the great detail you had and not reading it for real loved it hope for more
7385235 There's a reason the first chapter was so different, actually. Initially, I was planning on just doing Applejack's story on its own, but I had a few ideas laying around for the other characters and decided to do them all. The camping chapter came about before the wager one did, since there needed to be a reason for all the stories to be linked.
I'm not sure if you've noticed, or if it's obvious, but generally how I've structured the story is that things get less serious when there are more people involved. The sections with only two people are much more intimate than the ones with most or all of the main cast there.
Thanks for the review, though. I'm looking forward to Rarity's as well, and I think hers will be the biggest surprise with where I take it. I'm honestly surprised people liked Pinkie's arc as much as they did, it was probably my least favorite out of the ones so far.
Apparently Limestone wants the D.
I find it endlessly hilarious that the word count of this chapter is so different than the others. I mean ya got 7k's and 8k's and then this one comes along like 'Rahhhhh! 21k!'. It just makes me giggle.
I love this story, I really do hope you continue it.
I can't wait for you to continue this story since it has a lot of potential.
Please, in the name of god, CONTINUE THIS STORY THE HIATUS SIGN MAKES MY DIE INSIDE
Hello. Please do not cancel.
This hiatus is killing me.
Please for the love of God, and all that is holy, please keep writing this. Never have I read a fanfic that was so well written, established realistic scenarios for all characters and delved in deep to character interpersonal thoughts. This read is astounding.
8606432
After seeing Mr. Manehattan, I too am suddenly worried for this story!
Seriously man, please continue this story. It's literally my favorite fanfic ever
Dunno how many times I’ve read this and I hope ur ok and stuff but please don’t let this die thanks
Sorry for the false alarm just now. The "publish" button is right next to the button for leaving the text editor, and I pressed it by accident. This isn't the first time it has happened, either.
The chapter is at 7500 words currently, and I'm aiming for as much as triple that amount before it's ready for publishing.
Thanks for your patience.
I was all excited for an update when i saw this in the feature box only for..... nothing to be there....... .
Wait, how is this featured??