Oh, hey, wow, so, my feels are writing to let you know that they're just going to keep kicking me for a while.
That was incredible. I've really enjoyed the other alternates, but you're off to a pull-no punches start. We who are about to feels salute you, o7, and all that.
This one is confusing the crap out of me. Pinkie is simultaneously sexy, horrifying, Lovecraftian, and awkward. Applejack's was sweet and introspective. Fluttershy's was loving and forward-looking. Pinkie is either a rapist or too intimate for her own good. Maybe she'll... be less Pinkie in the next installment.
See, I'm not gonna spout a Tumblr-worthy line like 'the people who smile the most are the saddest' but it's clear to see how emotionally unstable Pinkie is, and I cannot wait to see how that 'll come into play. Also I think this isn't a harem fic but it sucks to see how dejected the others are when one of them wins, wonder if there will be a way to have all six of them happy (although I doubt that'll happen). Also I love how you portray Dash :D
This was really jarring after re-reading the other chapters. It wasn't funny, it wasn't cute, it wasn't even particularly heartfelt and introspective... it was just weird, and a little bit creepy. The end of the last chapter had my heart set on Pinkie being cute and sappy and, I guess, just more of a mature Pinkie Pie. Then we get this kind of mix between a character from Saw and a tween with her first crush.
The pacing seems fine, and the writing is still good, but unless there's a pretty serious heel-face-turn in tone this one's shaping up to be my least favorite of the three that have been released by far.
*whistles* So every arc/path/thing will be different from one another, not only the obvious changes like who is going to be with Spike, but also changes in pacing and all that? I'm loving this fic more than ever, shame when can't upvote it twice
I think I'll take you up on that. If I leave a comment that's filled with praise, but apparently not enough praise, and a single negative opinion on tone, and the author sees fit to single out that comment and write a reply that's so blatantly negative, then I'd probably be better off having enjoyed the parts that I liked and move on.
It wasn't funny, it wasn't cute, it wasn't even particularly heartfelt and introspective... it was just weird, and a little bit creepy.
Then we get this kind of mix between a character from Saw and a tween with her first crush
but unless there's a pretty serious heel-face-turn in tone this one's shaping up to be my least favorite of the three that have been released by far
Your idea of praise is pretty skewed if you ask me. I don't write these stories to appease readers, I do them because I have an idea and I want to show others. If they like the idea, then that's great, but I don't do it for them. I do it for me, and for the people who are tired of seeing the same stale thing being rehashed over and over.
So when someone gripes about my story being too "weird" or "creepy", when the only deliberately unsettling parts were a bit of hysterical laughter and drunken kissing, that makes me even less inclined to care about you as a reader. And when someone like you tries to make me feel threatened or intimidated by stating how the tone might drive you away, then believe me when I say that I literally could not care less.
If you had offered up comprehensive feedback or something that's at least objective in some form, then I wouldn't have minded. But if you're just going to trash my writing because you overreacted and don't like how I portray character interactions, then by all means, close the door on your way out.
Man, does Pinkie knows how to flirt. Still, I'm surprised that you managed the implement the "I'm not as young as I used to" mentality on Pinkie to express why she is more relaxed and why she desires to have Spike as a lover. Thanks for the chapter.
Different from the other chapters. Life seems to be catching up with the characters here. It's not necessarily dragging them down yet, but they are maturing and don't quite seem to know how to process that. I'll keep watching to see how the next part progresses. Hope it doesn't give you too much trouble.
Well, that was creepy for a while, and a bit sad at the end.
Ironic, they found, that Pinkie had drawn the young man's name when the bottle had landed on her as well; ironic that, as evidenced the playful handwriting and the tittle in Spike's name being replaced by a heart, Pinkie herself had added Spike to their selections.
If I leave a comment that's filled with praise, but apparently not enough praise, and a single negative opinion on tone
If I leave a comment that's filled with praise
filled with praise
Hm.
This was really jarring after re-reading the other chapters. It wasn't funny, it wasn't cute, it wasn't even particularly heartfelt and introspective... it was just weird, and a little bit creepy. The end of the last chapter had my heart set on Pinkie being cute and sappy and, I guess, just more of a mature Pinkie Pie. Then we get this kind of mix between a character from Saw and a tween with her first crush.
The pacing seems fine, and the writing is still good, but unless there's a pretty serious heel-face-turn in tone this one's shaping up to be my least favorite of the three that have been released by far.
You have a very strange definition of the word "filled".
There is nothing wrong with a story not being for you. You don't need to be disingenuous or get defensive just because someone suggested that may be the case.
I could easily see that. Honestly even though this chapter is about Pinkie and Spike but it is the interaction of Pinkie and Dash that really comes through in the end (though I do like Spike being a gentleman). I think in any of the stories that Pinkie and Dash are not going out with Spike that continuing to do things together would work best ("practice" with quotations seems to imply that even Pinkie sees it as slightly more than just practice to her even if that is not what they are going for now).
7159400 Just a small point of clarification: "it's clear to see how emotionally unstable Pinkie is" as you've written her.
Only reason I think the clarification is warranted is because otherwise it's just another line that perpetuates that stale fanon thing about Pinkie being psycho because she had one episode where she went crazy because the writers thought it would be funny.
What so many people fail to see about Pinkie is that she is probably the most emotionally stable one in the group right after Apple Jack. Rarity's given to histrionics, Fluttershy's constantly struggling between he desire for safety from the vast amount of things she's afraid of and her desire to care for others, Twilight seems to be a pressure cooker where every now and then she's got to release steam by having some kind of breakdown or panic attack, and Dash is the most immature of them all with how loyal she can be to everyone except herself - all her issues spring from self-doubt no matter who's told her what and regardless of what she's accomplished.
Pinkie's one breakdown was a stab of depression and it was so big because what hit her was so big and sudden. Pinkie's a true extrovert - extroversion doesn't mean you only like being around people and hate being alone, it means you get energy from being around people. An introvert can have a massively active social life, they just need alone time to recover and recharge from it: a whole lot of entertainers are actually introverts.
But Pinkie's extroversion is so absolute that she not only gets her energy from being around others, it's also what she enjoys doing the most, and she's able to do it most of the time. I think that's a big reason why she constantly seems to be the most energized. Her one break was a pretty stark change from being around her best friends tons to feeling like she was being cut off from her most core group. What happens to *any* reactor when you remove the core?
Pinkie's the only one of the mane six that hasn't had more than one breakdown episode. The two closest to her relapsing are when she watches the twins for the first time (her panic about not being able to handle the situation brings her to the brink of asking for help, but when she sees that her asking was expected she knuckles down and soldiers on without the extra help) and when she's got to keep it secret that Cadence is pregnant (and she doesn't breakdown so much as she struggles due to joy and excitement - and all her struggle is because she's being denied a huge energy thing for her: a happy announcement to a group of close friends).
As the show has presented her, Pinkie can seem childish and silly, but she gets things done in very big ways.
In this story she's presented as emotionally immature, but well meaning - and it's written really well and has been very enjoyable, but let's not act as though this good story is presenting nothing new with Pinkie.
"He's lonely too," Pinkie said softly, sighing to herself and feeling sympathy leak out of her chest and move in his general direction. "I can fix that."
...brb. Just gonna be flexing in the mirror until I stop fawning like a love-sick teenager.
This was a master class of a chapter. The descriptive language you used to describe Pinkie's thoughts at the end was nothing short of brilliant. I cannot wait to see where else you take this story.
Daaaaamn dude I loved this chapter. I personally dislike when authors give her the typical twelve year old, lmao XD, Im so random, always does weird stuff personality. I love it when writers give her empathy, insight, charm, and real wit. This fic has developed characters so nicely and I'm finding this Pinkie to be very endearing ^_^
Most stories I have found recently of Spike seeking romance to be either Spike x Rarity, which I do not mind, however, there are many out there who are unable to give such stories any originality. Stories of Spike in other relationships seem to usually feel like it is Spike in a rebound after Rarity rejects him.
This story is a beautiful, rare treat. With each pairing, you give solid background and reasoning for why it can work, without coming across as shoving flimsy logic down the readers throat. You are giving amazing insight into each character, which is rare, but you are keeping it believable. Just from what you have so far, you get a like as well as a follow. This has quickly shot to the top of my "Please let it be updated soon, I need more of this great story!" list. I commend you for such good work.
I bookmarked this story when it first came out and have just re-read it. And I got to say it's awesomely done.
While I'm not a fan of the alternate storyline style, it's only because each one is immersion and I want to keep following it even though it's time for the next. As the story lines go, I kinda liked AJ's, REALLY loved Fluttershy, and while I'm not liking this Pinkie-Spike pairing, this is a really well written and immersive path.
I don't like Pinkie as written here. And this is not a complaint. Each one of the characters is their own person. They are well developed and all have unique personalities, and with seven characters trading around the focus of the story, this is a very impressive feat. It's even more impressive that they stay consistant across different time lines and scenerios. They act the same whether they are a background character or the protagonist of the day.
I don't know if you've already answered this, but what are your future plans for the story? Will it just be one short act for each of the girls? Or will something follow afterwords?
7260660 Sorry, I just now saw this comment. Strangely enough, I didn't get an alert for it. You said you didn't like this version of Pinkie, and while I can understand someone's dislike for my interpretation, you didn't say why.
I don't know if you've already answered this, but what are your future plans for the story? Will it just be one short act for each of the girls?
Depending on the feel of each chapter, each path will have one or two parts. Applejack's was the shortest so far because there was no one else for them to interact with. Fluttershy's was longer because now instead of two characters to write for, there were four, and so there were different interactions to write between each character.
With what I have in mind now, I can only say for certain that Twilight's path will be two parts. I didn't anticipate Pinkie's needing two, but as a writer I found out the hard way that she's much easier to write when she has more people to write dialogue with.
Or will something follow afterwards?
As you may have seen in my most recent blog post, I'm planning on doing alternative paths as well. Partly because I want to break up the rhythm of the story so things don't get predictable, and partly because just writing the main six characters and Spike feels like a waste of the show's characters.
7275776 Hmm.. There are a lot of side characters that I think would pair well, I look forward to that. Perhaps not as much as RD and Twilight's paths, but still; color me intrigued.
The reason I don't like Pinkie in this story is for several reasons. First, she's really pushy. She always forces everyone into what she thinks will be fun for them. The biggest example of this was her bakery scene with Fluttershy in the earlier path. Sure, Fluttershy rolled with it and even had some fun; but that was Pinkie playing with Fluttershy, not the two of them playing. There are other examples of this, times where Pinkie is the driving force and pushing everyone where she wants them to go. This is not a bad thing by itself. Every group needs a driving member. Someone to jump up and say "Let's go". But when paired with her other personality traits... well, see below.
Second, she needs to be needed. Now, everyone has this trait. It's part of the human condition. But Pinkie has an extra helping. Or ten. She has an almost desperate need to make others around her happy, because I think that's the only way she gets her self validation.
Finally, she's fragile. She's like a glass cannon. Loud and bombastic, but the slightest mishandling or a misfire and she'll shatter. It's like she only has two defaukt settings: all out and broken. Anything else takes effort on her part to maintain.
All in all, she's a person who will push and push trying to make you happy. And it would take a huge amount of tolerance and patience putting up with her until she learns what works and what doesn't. She would also need regular reassurance when she screws up that things will be okay.
As a casual friend, sure. But we would never be close, as I don't enjoy being around overly loud and outgoing people. And if we ever did somehow become close friends, I'd always be tempted to try to toughen her up, which would be a disaster.
Now Spike, he has the patience of a saint, and may see her as worth the effort. But should they give it a try and not work out, or even worse, she pushes him away; her friends had best be prepared for a very close suicide watch until Pinkie finds her balance again.
Oh, hey, wow, so, my feels are writing to let you know that they're just going to keep kicking me for a while.
That was incredible. I've really enjoyed the other alternates, but you're off to a pull-no punches start. We who are about to feels salute you, o7, and all that.
This one is confusing the crap out of me. Pinkie is simultaneously sexy, horrifying, Lovecraftian, and awkward. Applejack's was sweet and introspective. Fluttershy's was loving and forward-looking. Pinkie is either a rapist or too intimate for her own good. Maybe she'll... be less Pinkie in the next installment.
See, I'm not gonna spout a Tumblr-worthy line like 'the people who smile the most are the saddest' but it's clear to see how emotionally unstable Pinkie is, and I cannot wait to see how that 'll come into play. Also I think this isn't a harem fic but it sucks to see how dejected the others are when one of them wins, wonder if there will be a way to have all six of them happy (although I doubt that'll happen). Also I love how you portray Dash :D
Wow you're really trying something different now. I approve!
Really hope you'll go all the way this.
Worth the wait btw. :D
This was really jarring after re-reading the other chapters. It wasn't funny, it wasn't cute, it wasn't even particularly heartfelt and introspective... it was just weird, and a little bit creepy. The end of the last chapter had my heart set on Pinkie being cute and sappy and, I guess, just more of a mature Pinkie Pie. Then we get this kind of mix between a character from Saw and a tween with her first crush.
The pacing seems fine, and the writing is still good, but unless there's a pretty serious heel-face-turn in tone this one's shaping up to be my least favorite of the three that have been released by far.
*whistles* So every arc/path/thing will be different from one another, not only the obvious changes like who is going to be with Spike, but also changes in pacing and all that? I'm loving this fic more than ever, shame when can't upvote it twice
7159656 Sorry you feel that way, but it's not my job to please you.
Each section is different for a reason, and if you think something like this is jarring, then you're better off leaving this story alone.
7159765
I think I'll take you up on that. If I leave a comment that's filled with praise, but apparently not enough praise, and a single negative opinion on tone, and the author sees fit to single out that comment and write a reply that's so blatantly negative, then I'd probably be better off having enjoyed the parts that I liked and move on.
7159855
Your idea of praise is pretty skewed if you ask me.
I don't write these stories to appease readers, I do them because I have an idea and I want to show others. If they like the idea, then that's great, but I don't do it for them. I do it for me, and for the people who are tired of seeing the same stale thing being rehashed over and over.
So when someone gripes about my story being too "weird" or "creepy", when the only deliberately unsettling parts were a bit of hysterical laughter and drunken kissing, that makes me even less inclined to care about you as a reader. And when someone like you tries to make me feel threatened or intimidated by stating how the tone might drive you away, then believe me when I say that I literally could not care less.
If you had offered up comprehensive feedback or something that's at least objective in some form, then I wouldn't have minded. But if you're just going to trash my writing because you overreacted and don't like how I portray character interactions, then by all means, close the door on your way out.
Man, does Pinkie knows how to flirt. Still, I'm surprised that you managed the implement the "I'm not as young as I used to" mentality on Pinkie to express why she is more relaxed and why she desires to have Spike as a lover. Thanks for the chapter.
I am greatly enjoying the way you potray each of their attempts. I was looking forward to pinkies and it's not disapointed.
Am I the only one who thinks that Pinkie should end up with Dash instead of Spike?
Different from the other chapters.
Life seems to be catching up with the characters here. It's not necessarily dragging them down yet, but they are maturing and don't quite seem to know how to process that.
I'll keep watching to see how the next part progresses. Hope it doesn't give you too much trouble.
Well, that was creepy for a while, and a bit sad at the end.
7161220 Do you not know what situational irony is?
7159855
Hm.
You have a very strange definition of the word "filled".
There is nothing wrong with a story not being for you. You don't need to be disingenuous or get defensive just because someone suggested that may be the case.
7160928
I could easily see that. Honestly even though this chapter is about Pinkie and Spike but it is the interaction of Pinkie and Dash that really comes through in the end (though I do like Spike being a gentleman). I think in any of the stories that Pinkie and Dash are not going out with Spike that continuing to do things together would work best ("practice" with quotations seems to imply that even Pinkie sees it as slightly more than just practice to her even if that is not what they are going for now).
7159400 Just a small point of clarification: "it's clear to see how emotionally unstable Pinkie is" as you've written her.
Only reason I think the clarification is warranted is because otherwise it's just another line that perpetuates that stale fanon thing about Pinkie being psycho because she had one episode where she went crazy because the writers thought it would be funny.
What so many people fail to see about Pinkie is that she is probably the most emotionally stable one in the group right after Apple Jack. Rarity's given to histrionics, Fluttershy's constantly struggling between he desire for safety from the vast amount of things she's afraid of and her desire to care for others, Twilight seems to be a pressure cooker where every now and then she's got to release steam by having some kind of breakdown or panic attack, and Dash is the most immature of them all with how loyal she can be to everyone except herself - all her issues spring from self-doubt no matter who's told her what and regardless of what she's accomplished.
Pinkie's one breakdown was a stab of depression and it was so big because what hit her was so big and sudden. Pinkie's a true extrovert - extroversion doesn't mean you only like being around people and hate being alone, it means you get energy from being around people. An introvert can have a massively active social life, they just need alone time to recover and recharge from it: a whole lot of entertainers are actually introverts.
But Pinkie's extroversion is so absolute that she not only gets her energy from being around others, it's also what she enjoys doing the most, and she's able to do it most of the time. I think that's a big reason why she constantly seems to be the most energized. Her one break was a pretty stark change from being around her best friends tons to feeling like she was being cut off from her most core group. What happens to *any* reactor when you remove the core?
Pinkie's the only one of the mane six that hasn't had more than one breakdown episode. The two closest to her relapsing are when she watches the twins for the first time (her panic about not being able to handle the situation brings her to the brink of asking for help, but when she sees that her asking was expected she knuckles down and soldiers on without the extra help) and when she's got to keep it secret that Cadence is pregnant (and she doesn't breakdown so much as she struggles due to joy and excitement - and all her struggle is because she's being denied a huge energy thing for her: a happy announcement to a group of close friends).
As the show has presented her, Pinkie can seem childish and silly, but she gets things done in very big ways.
In this story she's presented as emotionally immature, but well meaning - and it's written really well and has been very enjoyable, but let's not act as though this good story is presenting nothing new with Pinkie.
...brb. Just gonna be flexing in the mirror until I stop fawning like a love-sick teenager.
In response to the "I'll tell you in the comments" part of your poll, I would like to see embarrassed human females in compromising situations.
7164925
new3.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/Blank+_8745e3d172fadb27e66d44f713b386f9.gif
I like the way you think.
7165031 Every so often, I have an idea worth sharing.
Wow. I think this is going to be the deepest pairing in this story.
In response to the blog, well you still have Mr. M on stand by but you should also do something you like.
This was a master class of a chapter. The descriptive language you used to describe Pinkie's thoughts at the end was nothing short of brilliant. I cannot wait to see where else you take this story.
Daaaaamn dude I loved this chapter. I personally dislike when authors give her the typical twelve year old, lmao XD, Im so random, always does weird stuff personality. I love it when writers give her empathy, insight, charm, and real wit. This fic has developed characters so nicely and I'm finding this Pinkie to be very endearing ^_^
Most stories I have found recently of Spike seeking romance to be either Spike x Rarity, which I do not mind, however, there are many out there who are unable to give such stories any originality. Stories of Spike in other relationships seem to usually feel like it is Spike in a rebound after Rarity rejects him.
This story is a beautiful, rare treat. With each pairing, you give solid background and reasoning for why it can work, without coming across as shoving flimsy logic down the readers throat. You are giving amazing insight into each character, which is rare, but you are keeping it believable. Just from what you have so far, you get a like as well as a follow. This has quickly shot to the top of my "Please let it be updated soon, I need more of this great story!" list. I commend you for such good work.
7185720
media.giphy.com/media/L5jXcnbp2dkZi/200w.gif
7185901 You motherfucker.
I bookmarked this story when it first came out and have just re-read it. And I got to say it's awesomely done.
While I'm not a fan of the alternate storyline style, it's only because each one is immersion and I want to keep following it even though it's time for the next. As the story lines go, I kinda liked AJ's, REALLY loved Fluttershy, and while I'm not liking this Pinkie-Spike pairing, this is a really well written and immersive path.
I don't like Pinkie as written here. And this is not a complaint. Each one of the characters is their own person. They are well developed and all have unique personalities, and with seven characters trading around the focus of the story, this is a very impressive feat. It's even more impressive that they stay consistant across different time lines and scenerios. They act the same whether they are a background character or the protagonist of the day.
I don't know if you've already answered this, but what are your future plans for the story? Will it just be one short act for each of the girls? Or will something follow afterwords?
7260660
Sorry, I just now saw this comment. Strangely enough, I didn't get an alert for it. You said you didn't like this version of Pinkie, and while I can understand someone's dislike for my interpretation, you didn't say why.
Depending on the feel of each chapter, each path will have one or two parts. Applejack's was the shortest so far because there was no one else for them to interact with. Fluttershy's was longer because now instead of two characters to write for, there were four, and so there were different interactions to write between each character.
With what I have in mind now, I can only say for certain that Twilight's path will be two parts. I didn't anticipate Pinkie's needing two, but as a writer I found out the hard way that she's much easier to write when she has more people to write dialogue with.
As you may have seen in my most recent blog post, I'm planning on doing alternative paths as well. Partly because I want to break up the rhythm of the story so things don't get predictable, and partly because just writing the main six characters and Spike feels like a waste of the show's characters.
7275776
Hmm.. There are a lot of side characters that I think would pair well, I look forward to that. Perhaps not as much as RD and Twilight's paths, but still; color me intrigued.
The reason I don't like Pinkie in this story is for several reasons. First, she's really pushy. She always forces everyone into what she thinks will be fun for them. The biggest example of this was her bakery scene with Fluttershy in the earlier path. Sure, Fluttershy rolled with it and even had some fun; but that was Pinkie playing with Fluttershy, not the two of them playing. There are other examples of this, times where Pinkie is the driving force and pushing everyone where she wants them to go. This is not a bad thing by itself. Every group needs a driving member. Someone to jump up and say "Let's go". But when paired with her other personality traits... well, see below.
Second, she needs to be needed. Now, everyone has this trait. It's part of the human condition. But Pinkie has an extra helping. Or ten. She has an almost desperate need to make others around her happy, because I think that's the only way she gets her self validation.
Finally, she's fragile. She's like a glass cannon. Loud and bombastic, but the slightest mishandling or a misfire and she'll shatter. It's like she only has two defaukt settings: all out and broken. Anything else takes effort on her part to maintain.
All in all, she's a person who will push and push trying to make you happy. And it would take a huge amount of tolerance and patience putting up with her until she learns what works and what doesn't. She would also need regular reassurance when she screws up that things will be okay.
As a casual friend, sure. But we would never be close, as I don't enjoy being around overly loud and outgoing people. And if we ever did somehow become close friends, I'd always be tempted to try to toughen her up, which would be a disaster.
Now Spike, he has the patience of a saint, and may see her as worth the effort. But should they give it a try and not work out, or even worse, she pushes him away; her friends had best be prepared for a very close suicide watch until Pinkie finds her balance again.
7275776 You don't get alerts for replies from outside of the chapter page itself (i.e. the story index).