Epilougue - Go get her.
A few months later, three friends were making cupcakes very merrily.
Although it hurt her, Rainbow had never forgotten about her crush on Twilight. As far as she knew, that week was just a dream.
Pinkie pie Had'nt gotten back together with Twilight. They were best friends, and they kept it at that.
Twilight was oblivious to how Rainbow still loved her more than a friend. She was still best friends with both of them.
“I think that this is the best batter I ever saw!!” Pinkie exclaimed.
“Then put it in the oven, because I need to go to the bathroom.” Twilight said. She walked out of the room.
Pinkie put the cupcaked in the oven and closed it.
“Hey rainbow, did you know that Twilight still has a crush on you?” Pinkie merrily said.
“What? No! I didint!”
“Well one afternoon, I went to her house and walked in. She was on her bed, sleeping. I was about to leave when she started talking. She said 'rainbow dash, do you really love me?' And then she paused and said 'me too!'” Pinkie said.
“No!”
“Yes! She did!”
“And so, you think I should..”
“Get back together with her! I think it would make her very happy!” Pinkie said.
“And you wold'nt be mad at me? I could really do it?” Rainbow asked.
Pinkie grinned. “Go get her, Dashie!”
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Ta-da!
The end. hoped you all liked it.
It felt like being dragged behind a jet...The concept is great, wording and such doesn't bother me. But the speed, it was just like: and, when, there, is, cool, something. Get my drift?
I really can't say much else, I don't like being rude. Maybe someday I can take this and extend it? (Maybe is a key word)
716151......the speed......IT'S LIKE RAINBOW DASH IS DRAGING ME BEHIND HER!!!!!
THE STORY JUST DID ASONIC RAINBOOM
good story i liked it, just over a bit too quickly
nevertheless, have a thumbs up!
well i'm not trying to be mean but this story could be stretched to like 40k to 60k words and it would be just fine because you can do alot with it. but i am very happy with the plot of the story, but it was like you start reading it and 3 mintues later your done. i'm not saying that i know everything but i am writing a story that is at least going to be 100k words or more, right now i think at about 65k and still going because i spread things out but i keep the reader interrested on the story and the back ground storys, but all in all i will give you a thumbs.......UP! because you earned it.
if you would like to check out my story click here
30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsyx1dNpMI1qjnttko1_500.png
good, but short.
This was one painful story to read... .______.
this was too short and unsatisfying for me to enjoy
Im gonna stay neutral on this one. Although it has a good concept, the mistakes just...
there are just too many for me to enjoy the story, no thumbs up, but no thumbs down ether
...
ENDED TOO ABRUPTLY!!!!!! ADD MORE!!! (such as twilight's reaction, and their new found relationship) but bravo, a moustache for you my good sir
it was a good story but it seems like it is a first draft.
this needs to be edited
Okay, this has to be one of the worst stories I've ever read. First off, Twilight tells Rainbow that she's in love with someone else, hours after she first turns her down, which should have all happened at the same time. Then reveals it's Pinkie Pie, and here's the big question: Where did Pinkie Pie come from? Wasn't she icing the cupcakes?
...and that's ignoring the problems with grammar and flow!
Oh, then we see Pinkie and Twilight discussing AJs party days later. It didn't come up before then? Also, is Pinkie Pie playing a complete moron here, and is Twilight playing an indecisive bitch!? And what's with you and apple trees!?
Okay, since when is 'spa' a verb? And since we're on that chapter, why would Rainbow confess to tricking them to go to the spa? Seems unnecessary, just apologize for all the wrongdoing and be done with it. And that ending came out of fucking nowhere. Hows about something leading up to the breakup, instead of dropping it like a ton of bricks!
And the epilogue is confusing.
I wish I could say there was potential here, but there isn't. It's not worth salvaging. Come up with a plot worth writing about, and put some effort into it, and read aloud.
Not rocket science.
Interesting to say the least. It was to short and didn't make alot of sense but still it was interesting i give it 4 moustaches out of 10
