• Member Since 13th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

Mr Tech


'Artist' , Reader of stories , 'Writer'

T
Source

Trough the town of ponyville came a stranger one fine day, hardly spoke to folks around her didn't have too much to say, no one dared to ask her business no one dared to make a slip, the stranger there among them had a big moon on her hip...

And the stranger started talking made it plane to folks around, don't want any-kind of trouble wouldn't be too long in town, she came to have some rest time didn't have'em yet, and say it didn't matter in the bar alone she sat...

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 11 )

she came to have some rest time didn't have'em yet, and say it didn't matter in the bar she alone sat...

honestly, 'alone she sat' rolls off the tongue better here over 'she alone sat'

6730260 thank you for your suggestion...

sounds like it could be interesting even though you took it from big iron but im not gonna start reading till its almost done

Comment posted by Perteks deleted Apr 1st, 2016
Comment posted by Mr Tech deleted Apr 1st, 2016

BIG IRON ON HIS HIIIIIIIIIIIIP

Is this 'Burnt Mare' somehow inspired by this one?
(Note: I didn't read 'Alone in the dark' yet.)

One formal thing:
Sometimes you are starting a sentence with an lowercase letter.

7113480 40% of inspiration came from honest hearts...

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