• Member Since 17th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen Aug 1st, 2022

The Darker Side


Just another girl writing dirty things that come to mind whilst day dreaming.

Comments ( 29 )

Cloudchaser: "Stars above, Rainbow, I just meant a handshake!"

This was...

Honestly quite a bad story. Details were slightly lacking, it's too short, and no real character interaction existed at all.

Comment posted by DragonShadow deleted Oct 18th, 2015

6541624 Non-consensual sex is rape you moron, she never said 'yes', she never gave consent. It doesn't matter if she liked it, rape is still rape. Educate yourself.

Comment posted by DragonShadow deleted Oct 18th, 2015

\/ Literal idiot \/

6541439
uh oh... we have a malcontent. don't make me come over there, tie you down, and spank you with a hand full of wet noodles.

6542751 Well, considering the three thumbs up I got, I'm not alone in this belief.

6542872
mmhmm... a threesome. neat. im moist.

now, i never said it was feature box worthy did i? nah, this was something i wrote in the bathroom in like twenty or so minutes.

6543016 You did not ever say this was feature-box worthy. That doesn't excuse its poor quality.

6543333
:raritystarry: thank you darling. would you like to see my "private" stash?

This has potential, but details are lacking/misplaced - I liked the bits with Cloud Chaser since they were kind of funny and pushed the story along, but an issue is that I can't imagine the context.
How does RD stop people from sitting next to her? Where is she sitting - is it in the middle of the bus where anyone could see? Is the dare issued before they get on the bus, or while they're on it and CC/RD are sitting next to each other? What was appealing about Fluttershy that RD was willing to touch her - versus the other people she didn't want to?
Then there were actual physiological details that were implausible, like I seriously don't believe RD could 'hilt' in Fluttershy and (then after hilting?) touch her cervix. Mostly the 'touching her cervix with fingers' part.
Also, was this a school bus or the city bus?
Anyway, could use work, has a lot of angry-first-draft attitude (personally I like that style, but I don't know if that's what you were going for)

6545713
thanks mate. <3

i admit it wasnt very good and was rushed. i wrote it during a bathroom break and yeah... at the end i was getting angry that it was taking so long. ill do another one soon so keep your eyes open for that.

6539770
is that a problem? serious question. i dont want to write things like this if it offends.

6557453
why thank you. it was a bad story though, i will be writing another soon and spending much more than 30 min on it.

6558225
never occurred to me. something to keep in mind i guess.

6541439 I have to agree. this was awful.
while i'm not a fan of non-con sex in general, the OOC nature of the characters and zero immersive detail really threw me.

1 - I can't picture Rainbow Dash of any universe raping anyone to win a dare
2 - I can't believe Fluttershy would sit there and take said abuse
3 - I can't see Fluttershy of all people getting so into it she sits there and lets it happen

6557570 I think you are lying about your story being bad. It's not good, though, either. It's PERFECT. :twilightsmile:

It's a cute little story, though idk if it fits the romance tag but I like the setting. I look forward to the next one you make and if you're interested in help feel free to look me up. :pinkiehappy:

Flitter: "Rainbow Dash! She only meant a hug, you didn't need to go THAT FAR!"
Cloudchaser: "Well, her reputation is WAY up now!"
Rainbow Dash: ":twilightblush:"

6622350
:rainbowlaugh: color horse is best horse bitches... :rainbowdetermined2:

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