- Member Since 17th Oct, 2015
- offline last seen Aug 1st, 2022
The Darker Side
Just another girl writing dirty things that come to mind whilst day dreaming.
The Darker Side
Joined 17th Oct, 2015 ·
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Cloudchaser: "Stars above, Rainbow, I just meant a handshake!"
This was...
Honestly quite a bad story. Details were slightly lacking, it's too short, and no real character interaction existed at all.
6539770 Literal rape.
6541624 Non-consensual sex is rape you moron, she never said 'yes', she never gave consent. It doesn't matter if she liked it, rape is still rape. Educate yourself.
\/ Literal idiot \/
6541439
uh oh... we have a malcontent. don't make me come over there, tie you down, and spank you with a hand full of wet noodles.
6542751 Well, considering the three thumbs up I got, I'm not alone in this belief.
6542872
mmhmm... a threesome. neat. im moist.
now, i never said it was feature box worthy did i? nah, this was something i wrote in the bathroom in like twenty or so minutes.
6543016 You did not ever say this was feature-box worthy. That doesn't excuse its poor quality.
6543333
thank you darling. would you like to see my "private" stash?
This has potential, but details are lacking/misplaced - I liked the bits with Cloud Chaser since they were kind of funny and pushed the story along, but an issue is that I can't imagine the context.
How does RD stop people from sitting next to her? Where is she sitting - is it in the middle of the bus where anyone could see? Is the dare issued before they get on the bus, or while they're on it and CC/RD are sitting next to each other? What was appealing about Fluttershy that RD was willing to touch her - versus the other people she didn't want to?
Then there were actual physiological details that were implausible, like I seriously don't believe RD could 'hilt' in Fluttershy and (then after hilting?) touch her cervix. Mostly the 'touching her cervix with fingers' part.
Also, was this a school bus or the city bus?
Anyway, could use work, has a lot of angry-first-draft attitude (personally I like that style, but I don't know if that's what you were going for)
6545713
thanks mate. <3
i admit it wasnt very good and was rushed. i wrote it during a bathroom break and yeah... at the end i was getting angry that it was taking so long. ill do another one soon so keep your eyes open for that.
6539770
is that a problem? serious question. i dont want to write things like this if it offends.
6557453
why thank you. it was a bad story though, i will be writing another soon and spending much more than 30 min on it.
6558225
never occurred to me. something to keep in mind i guess.
6541439 I have to agree. this was awful.
while i'm not a fan of non-con sex in general, the OOC nature of the characters and zero immersive detail really threw me.
1 - I can't picture Rainbow Dash of any universe raping anyone to win a dare
2 - I can't believe Fluttershy would sit there and take said abuse
3 - I can't see Fluttershy of all people getting so into it she sits there and lets it happen
6557570 I think you are lying about your story being bad. It's not good, though, either. It's PERFECT.
It's a cute little story, though idk if it fits the romance tag but I like the setting. I look forward to the next one you make and if you're interested in help feel free to look me up.
6609379
awesome thanks.
Flitter: "Rainbow Dash! She only meant a hug, you didn't need to go THAT FAR!"
"
Cloudchaser: "Well, her reputation is WAY up now!"
Rainbow Dash: "
6622350
color horse is best horse bitches... 
6622400 LOL