Session 55
Session 55.0 Kendell2
Rainbow Dash panted, the cyan cat hiding behind a wall...and promptly booking it again when she got a wiff of skunk smell.
"Come back, Rainbows! I know this a story you set up, but can we just skip to the end?" Zephyr Breeze asked.
"No!" yelled Rainbow, dashing into the nearest building, namely a restaurant. Her unwanted pursuer followed suit...resulting in the entire restaurant evacuating, holding their noses and screaming "Phew!", "Peeyew!", or most frequently "Skunk!"
Rushing through, Rainbow Dash fled through the back door and into an ally...at which point she heard a loud growl and looked back to see a rather large, fearsome looking dog. "Uh...Nice doggy..." she said, backing up, knowing while her current form had claws, she wasn't exactly the strongest type. The dog backed her up against the wall.
"Rainbows! You back here?" Zephyr asked, following out.
The dog turned, snarling and looked his way. Rainbow, having seen this cartoon before, knew what would happen and booked it while.
Zephyr gulped. "Nice doggy..." he muttered, taking a step back. He then cringed when the dog charged him.
The wisp of greenish yellow scent changed direction and floated over the dogs face. The canine slid to a stop, face contorted in disgust and eyes wide.
"Huh?" Zephyr asked, looking at him.
The dog promptly ran away yelping with its tail between its legs.
"Huh...Guess Flutter Butter isn't the only pony in the family with a knack for animals," the vain Pegasus said, giving a prouder look than this warranted. "Now where did Rainbows get to?"
Rainbow Dash panted, still trying to put distance between herself and Breeze and hiding behind a trash can. "Ugh...I don't get it! Why is Zephyr this motivated! He's never motivated!" she exclaimed, then blinked. "...Because me and Fluttershy got him over that...of course..." she muttered, facepawing. Her nose twitched and then scrunched up. "Uh oh..." she muttered, looking up and seeing Zephyr standing on the trash can he was hiding behind.
"Hey Rainbows," he said, jumping down and bushing up against her, putting a leg over her back. "Come on, that restaurant back there is empty and they left a lot of food sitting there, let's a have date so it doesn't go to waste?"
Rainbow Dash's eyes watered and she gagged, her nose burning from the putrid stench coming off the pony-turned skunk inches away. Rainbow promptly pushed him away and ran for it, inhaling deeply the moment she got fresh air. "Phew! I hope the others aren't having as lousy of a time as me..."
"...Not a word..." said Rarity, flying along above the group, now a bright pink swan.
"Wasn't plannin' on it," Applejack remarked. The group was making their way along after Rainbow and Zephyr. Namely after the trail of wilted flowers, fainted birds, and ponies running from a skunk.
"Sorry..." said Fluttershy, blushing brightly.
"It's okay, Fluttershy. I know you didn't mean to spray us all with that awful smell," Rarity replied, giving a sympathetic look.
"Get away from me!" yelled a voice nearby.
"Over there!" yelled Twilight, flying towards the sound of it.
As they came out of an alley (and paused to let ponies fleeing the skunk stench), they saw a familiar cyan cat running from a bouncing turquoise skunk.
"Okay, we found them, now what?" Twilight asked.
"Just tell the guy the truth?" Applejack asked. "After all, it ain't like he NORMALLY stinks tah high heavens, maybe it'll convince him tah leave Rainbow alone tah find somethin' tah make him smell better."
Applejack, being fairly fast in her dog form, dashed off after them, making sure to come from a direction the wind wasn't currently blowing in. She managed to catch up to Zephyr and prepared to just give his tail a bite to stop him to talk...when she heard dice rolling in her ears...or head.
'Oh my, sorry dear AJ. Dice weren't in your favor. Zephyr even got a critical hit!' said Discord's voice in her head.
"Critical what now?" asked the mare turned dog. She knew that this game's rules were VERY flexible. Like insanely flexible to the point the only rule that really mattered was rule of funny, but she hadn't seen Zephyr attack, or even notice she was there...
What she did notice was the wind shifting, resulting in Zephyr's trail of greenish yellow stink blowing right in her face. More than that in fact, in true cartoon fashion, it actively went straight up her nose rather than just blowing in her face.
Applejack skidded to a stop with the sound of tires screeching, her irises pinpricks and eyes tearing up. Her tail went between her legs, her ears pinned back, and her face turned green. Somehow, just the stench coming off Zephyr, at least in that moment, made the stink Fluttershy had let off smell like roses in comparison.
"Ah...Ah think Ah...Ah got it..." the orange dog manged to gag out, swaying dizzily. "Ugh..." she groaned, falling on her back, eyes going swirly.
"...Well, that didn't work..." Twilight mentioned, not too worried. Even if Discord was messing with them, this game didn't even HAVE the capability of permanent injury.
"Clearly the problem was getting too close, darling," Rarity remarked, feeling bad for AJ, but knowing by the 'game rules' she'd just 'fallen down' at worse. "I'll fly up and call down to him from above."
The swan took flight, going up high enough to avoid the stench and flew overhead. Flying, she noticed the background was recycling...given the genre they were in, she didn't question it. "Zephyr Breeze, darling!" Rarity called...but found the skunk bouncing after Rainbow Dash didn't seem to notice. "Oh right, wind..." she muttered, flying down a little closer. "Zephyr!" she called...and once again noted they couldn't hear her. In fact, it seemed like the wind picked up specifically so they couldn't.
Rarity sighed and descended. As she prepared to speak, she heard dice rolling in her head distantly. "Zephy-" she called...right as the wind again changed its mind, allowing the skunk's stink trail to find its way up to her location. As with poor AJ, the stench slithered its way right into the nostrils on her beak.
The sound of glass breaking rang out as Rarity froze in mid air, her feathers turning a paler white than it was before her tomato juice bath. While she didn't get a 'critical' like Applejack, the odor was still absolutely putrid and made her feel faint.
"Sweet Celestia, what a terrible odor!" exclaimed the swan, wrapping her wings around her beak, tears running down her cheeks. She then realized she was a swan and thus with her wings busy trying to protect her poor nose, she fell to the ground only upon noticing (and getting a winning intelligence roll) with a whistle sound accompanying her fall, dazed and gagging. For some reason, the smell seemed to linger despite her having not been 'sprayed'.
"Now what?" Fluttershy asked, keeping pace as best as she could with Twilight flying over head.
Twilight looked around, knowing that despite biology, she likely wouldn't be able to stand that smell any better than the others. Her eyes caught a clothesline and she flew over, grabbing a clothespin in her talons and putting it on her beak. Given the nature of the game, she willed herself not to think about why putting a clothespin on a rigid beak wouldn't really help unless it was directly over her nostrils. "There, now I can't smell him, so everything should be fine."
"If you say so..." said Fluttershy, not feeling very confident.
The lavender owl flew after the cyan pegasus and bouncing skunk, the greenish yellow stink trail washing right over her. She smirked at the clothespin did its job. "There, problem solved.
She finally caught up. "Zephyr!" she called.
"Sorry, Princess! Can't talk! Love's waiting, get what I'm saying?" the skunk asked, not looking back.
"Ugh...look, I..." Twilight started, then heard dice rolling in her head.
'Oh, should've chosen a higher grade clothespin, dear, defense just wasn't high enough,' said Discord's voice. 'Another critical! Kid's on a roll!"
Before Twilight could react, she saw the visible stink trail following Zephyr seem to become a hand in front of her. It promptly flicked the clothespin off her nose with a cartoony noise. "Uh oh..."
The stench went straight up her nostrils. Twilight's body went rigid with a spring sound, her eyes watering up and face turning green. She gagged, landing with her wings tightly over her beak, swaying back and forth. Somehow, she swore the odor she had the misfortune of smelling right now was worse than the entire den of them she'd been skunked by on winter Wrap Up.
Pinkie Pie...merely appeared ahead on the path. "Hi Rainbow Dash!" called the pink pony, waving.
"Pinkie! You've gotta help me!" the cyan cat yelled, then noticed Zephyr still coming and booked it.
"High Zephyr!" called Pinkie Pie, waving as the skunk passed.
"Hey there, pinks," called the pegasus turned skunk as he bounced passed.
Pinkie Pie heard the dice roll as the stink trail went over her face. Her expression didn't change, but her eyes watered and she gagged, the fog horn sounding again. "Sleepy time..." she muttered, falling to the ground, eyes swirling.
Fluttershy trotted up to Twilight, who was still covering her nose and gagging. She looked back to see Applejack, still out, and Rarity still gagging and holding her nose. She looked forwards to see Pinkie in the same condition as AJ. "That didn't go well."
"No...it definitely didn't...peeyew..." Twilight groaned, falling forward to the ground with swirly eyes.
Fluttershy merely set down and waited for Rarity to recover and the other's revive timer to end. "...At least Pinkie Pie enjoyed that."
Session 55.1 Devcon101
Discord snapped into existence before a pair of earth ponies, who looked up, startled. The lord of chaos gave them a once over, making sure they had not yet been claimed by another participant in the contest. He gained a large grin upon seeing they had indeed not.
"Finally!" he said to himself with a chuckle, smiling evilly as he pointed a finger and gave them a tap on the forehead. However, it seemed things weren't working out for him, as they simply blinked, before raising their eyebrows in shared confusion. Discord's jaw dropped, hitting the floor with a clang.
"Aw come on!" Discord snarled in frustration, wisps of fire escaping his nostrils as he scanned the area, seeing many more earth ponies who were staring at the scene, not claimed either. The draconnequus proceeded to attempt to do so to many of these other ponies, only to get a similar reaction from the rest. He proceeded let out an angered growl as he snapped his fingers, teleporting away to find possible targets elsewhere. As soon as he did so, the earth ponies looked at each other, exchanging amused glances, before laughing. One laughed so hard their head literally fell off, but their head only gave an irritated expression as their body felt around for it, soon picking up the head and placing it back in its proper spot. The disguised zombie ponies soon stopped their laughter as they heard someone else approaching, going back to imitating normal ponies.
-
Aurora Glimmer, matriarch of Lich-tenstein, smiled to herself as she scryed the scene from her castle. It never did hurt to lend family a helping hand.
Session 55.2 Kendell2
Rainbow Dash, while unaware her friends had tried (and epically failed) to help her, continued fleeing from Zephyr Breeze as fast as her feline legs could take her. In this case, she decided to head towards a nearby, conveniently placed mountain. Zephyr of course continued bouncing on after her.
'Wait a second! This is still an RPG!' the cyan cat thought. 'Hey Discord!'
'Yes, Rainbow Dash?' asked Discord's voice in her head.
'I think the rule book said we have things called Shticks right? Like bonus skills?'
'Correct. Yours is 'Incredible Speed', as one would expect.'
Rainbow smirked. 'Good! Role for it so I can lose this stinker!'
Rainbow Dash heard a roll in her head.
'Good, you got the roll!'
"Yes!" the cyan cat exclaimed, getting a burst of speed. She then blinked, hearing a second roll.
'And so does Zephyr. Did I forget to mention he had that Shtick as his second one? His primary one is custom.'
Rainbow gasped, watching Zephyr unknowingly speed up as well. "Oh come on!"
"I'm coming, Rainbows, I'm coming!" called the pony turned skunk, oblivious to the situation even as their chase took them into the snow.
Rainbow's eyes darted around the mountain and spotted a cave. The cyan cat ran into it...and skidded to a stop inches from a pack of sleeping wolves. Giving a gulp, she tiptoed her way past them as 'sneaking music' played in the background. The second she was past them, she dashed out the other side and continued up the mountain.
"Rainbows!" called Zephyr. "Where are you?!" he called, hopping into the cave...and instantly found a pack of angry wolves growling at him.
Rainbow Dash looked back, feeling a moment of worry as she heard the wolves growling...before they all came running out of the den and fleeing in all directions, yelping with their tails between their legs. "...Okay, he's fine..." she muttered, then jumped and started running again the moment Zephyr came bouncing out after her.
Continuing further up the hill, she found her way to another cave and once again tried to lose her pursuer in the cave...at which point a creature similar to the one that Pinkie encountered in the Frozen North heading to the Yak's kingdom jumped out and growled at her. She tried to stop but found herself sliding. The monster lowered its head to the ground and opened its mouth wide to swallow her. Rainbow managed to stop right outside its jaws, which snapped shut in front of her and took some fur off her tail tip. The creature growled at her...
"Rainbows!" called Zephyr, bouncing up to the cave entrance. The moment the creature looked up, Rainbow put her Incredible Speed Shtick to good use and zipped right between the legs of the monster, leaving only a cat shaped puff of smoke where she'd been.
"I know you're in there!" the skunk called, bouncing in...and instantly being tackled by the snarling beast. "Uh...nice kitty..." he muttered.
The monster went to bite him...when the skunk's stink went straight up its nose. The creature froze in place, wide eyed with a look of disgust and shock...then slowly tipped over to the side and rather than just falling to the ground in a heap, made a clanking sound and bounced like a statue on impact, not moving from its pose in the slightest.
Zephyr blinked in confusion, then got a proud look. "Must have scared him stiff! Can't say I blame him! I wouldn't want to mess with me either!" he said, seeming as much trying to convince himself as anyone else.
Rainbow continued running through the cave, trying to find the exit...and came into a large chamber with a giant sleeping dragon curled up. "Oh come on! How many monsters can one mountain have?!" she yelled, then covered her mouth quickly. The dragon gave a yawn and rolled over, but didn't awake.
The cat began creeping across the room, once more with sneaking music...and jumped literally to the ceiling when the dragon's tail flopped in front of her. Rainbow panted, sticking to the cave ceiling with her claws. She might have been brave sometimes to her own detriment, but even she knew a cat versus a dragon wasn't a good fight. She exploited her situation by using her claws to climb along the ceiling until she reached the far end and took off out of the cave.
"Rainbows! Come on! It's dark in here! How are you supposed to see my beautiful face in this cave?" Zephyr Breeze called, hopping into the room and causing the dragon to instantly spring awake and glare down at him.
The dragon promptly lunged out, biting down and swallowing the skunk in one gulp, giving a smirk at his 'midnight snack'...then going wide-eyed with the sound of glass breaking, irises pinpricks and eyes twitching slightly as his face turned green, a wisp of greenish yellow stink snaking its way out of each nostril.
The sound of a sickened, gagging dragon sounded for a few seconds until Zephyr Breeze found himself forcibly ejected from the cave via the dragon's gag reflex, completely unharmed.
"Huh, guess I'm just too tough for the big guy to eat," he bragged, dusting himself off and getting proud look...then giving a yelp and running to evade a blast of fire from the inside of the cave that left his tail tip scorched but otherwise unharmed. "Alright, I'm going!"
Rainbow Dash made it to the mountain top, finally, where she found a ski resort, which she quickly dashed into...and found Zephyr bouncing quickly behind. The moment the skunk was inside, the entire resort bailed out with varying cries of disgust.
The cyan cat noticed the skies and snowboard nearby and grabbed one, taking off down the mountain to try and escape her pursuer. "Alright, now THIS is my kind of game!" called Rainbow, doing a few tricks that by cartoon logic somehow sped her up, until she finally took off a ramp and seemed to hang in the air for an unnaturally long time...then cringing as a stream of greenish yellow stink went across her nose.
"Oh Rainbows!" called Zephyr, in the air behind her on a pair of skis. "If you wanted to go skiing, all you had to do was ask! I'm game for any date you are. And of course I happen to be a great skier." he said, giving a smug look...then crashing right into a tree, limbs comically wrapping around it as the tree's branches wilted from his stink and Rainbow continued sailing down the hill.
OOC: Shticks are from the Toon game. They're basically special thing the character can do. It's actually a mechanic that one character with an Incredible Speed skill can escape from any character with a winning roll...EXCEPT another one with Incredible Speed.
Session 55.3 Alex Warlorn
"Waaagh!" Pinkie Pie lamented, sitting at the table, playing some 'pen and pencil' Power Ponies for a change rather than another Enchanted Comic. "How could Commander Skulls fire the Slow-ification ray at Fillisecond?! He's good now!"
Their Game Master, Shining Armor, resisted so hard trying not to smile at finally getting one over his sister and friends, he didn't MEAN TO, and it hadn't been the point, not at all, cross his heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in his eye, but he couldn't help but think of all the times he'd been derailed, and for once the score was in his favor.
"Pinkie Pie. All he did was put pink bunnies on his costume," Spike said.
"But that was supposed to mean he'd turned good!" Pinkie Pie lamented.
"Villains faking becoming good happens all the time in comics," Shining Armor said.
"Plus," Rarity said. "It is rather odd to take simply a change in a taste in wardrobe to assume somepony had turned good."
"YOU are sayin' that?" AJ asked bewildered.
"My dear, I know all about appearances, and I know appearances can be deceiving."
"Still feels like a dirty trick." Rainbow Dash snorted crossing her arms.
"Rainbow, heroes dress up as minions all the time to enter evil lairs." Twilight Sparkle point out.
Pinkie Pie slumped. "I guess it would be kinda dumb to think somepony had changed simply because they looked different. I mean, if Rarity was ugly Spike wouldn't like her any less."
Spike nodded firmly. Rarity shivered at the thought.
"And just because somepony looks prettier than when ya last saw'em doesn't mean they're suddenly nice," AJ said.
"I guess you're right." Pinkie Pie admitted. Then she perked up, and waved at as one of the new purified neo-colored changelings walked past the window, who happily waved back. "Have a nice day special black ops assassin Redback Spider! You're brightly colored instead of black, so we know you're good now, and didn't just go with the majority to avoid being punished!"
"HEIL! I mean, thank you!"
Session 55.4 Kendell2
Rainbow Dash arrived at the bottom of the mountain on her snowboard and looked around gave a chuckle. "This is great, that stinker is stuck up there on the mountain..." she said with a smirk and took off...and ran right into something, resulting in her and it rolling head over heels and landing with her on top. On top of something turquoise and noseburningly stinky.
"Hey there, Rainbows...coming on a little strong, don't you think?" Zephyr asked, but gave a smirk.
Rainbow's response was for her fur to stand on end and tail to shoot straight up as she yowled in surprise, then backpeddled away from him with her paws over her nose. "Ugh! Zephyr?! How did you...when did you...why are you here?!"
Zephyr blinked. "...I honestly don't know...Maybe its fate, you get what I'm saying?"
Rainbow's eyes darted around, wondering how to escape. 'What would a cartoon character do?!'
"...LOOK! A PONY WHO NEEDS YOUR AWESOME MANESTYLING SKILLS!" she yelled, pointing over his shoulder with a claw.
Thankfully, she won the roll (or she assumed, Discord seemed content to only tell her something when it was rolling).
"Where?!" Zephyr asked, looking back to find the pony in question...and seeing nothing back mountain side. He blinked, turning back to see Rainbow already a good ways away. "Oh, still playing hard to get?"
Rainbow continued to run along, noting the skunk bounding after her...until she skidded to a stop right before she would've gone over a cliff and into the ocean. She took a look back, seeing Zephyr hopping towards her without any sign of stopping. She then looked down at the ocean below. Then back to Zephyr...then promptly did a swan dive off the cliff.
Zephyr gasped, looking down. "Don't worry, Rainbows! I'm coming!" he said, looking around...and seeing a pony at a dock nearby (though considerably lower than he currently was) with diving gear. Zipping over (unknowingly using Incredible Speed), he tugged on the stallion's tail. "Excuse me, sir, can I borrow your diving helmet? I need to save a lovely lady..."
The stallion seemed intent to ignore him...until his nose could no longer, at which point the stallion diver jumped into the air, mane and tail sticking out on end and eyes poking out of his head at the skunkified pony. "SKUNK!" he screamed and took off, leaving only a stallion shaped puff of smoke behind.
"...I'll take that as a yes."
Back at the ski resort, the ski lift car arrived at the top and opened to reveal the Mane Six.
"They had to have come this way..." Twilight said, the owl looking around...360 degrees, as one would expect from an owl, though the slide whistle noise accompanying it probably wasn't.
"Considering the ponies fleeing the area screaming 'skunk' at the top of their lungs, that's rather obvious, darling," said Rarity, still a little upset she was pink once the shock from the skunk stench had worn off.
"So do we have an actual PLAN?" Applejack asked as the group trotted up to the resort proper and looked around. "Considerin' last time we all got our tails kicked by Zephyr Breeze?"
"Don't you mean got our noses kicked?" Pinkie Pie asked, giving a chuckle.
"...Yes..." the farmer turned farm dog replied with a grumble. On one hand, she'd always had a strange curiosity about what it'd be like to be Winona. On the other, she decidedly did appreciate having a super sensitive nose while dealing with a skunk.
"...I'll think of something," Twilight said, still trying to get a grasp on the situation, given they didn't really know their skills or abilities after being dropped into this. She wasn't even sure if Zephyr's stink counted as a skill or not, just it'd knocked her, AJ, and Pinkie out and incapacitated Rarity. She was used to being able to prepare some kind of strategy.
"Girls..." said Fluttershy, standing near the doorway the two had taken off out of and looking down. The others walked or flew over to her...
Just in time for the Stallion's scream of "SKUNK!" to echo up to them...and to see a large portion of the town's population all flee a very specific area of town, looking like ants scrambling away in formation.
"...Okay, so how exactly do we get down here, Darlings?" asked Rarity.
"Oh! Oh! I know!" Pinkie Pie said. "All of you, stand in a line going up to the edge."
The group blinked...then did so, yielding to the living cartoon character's wisdom in this particular area.
"Alright, now what?" Twilight asked.
Pinkie Pie backed up and using a hoof to line up her sight. "Just stand there..."
"...I have a bad feeling about this..." said Rarity, standing at the back.
"Incoming!" yelled Pinkie Pie, running in and crashing into Rarity, sending the group tumbling head over hills in a domino effect out of the resort and down the hill, quickly collecting snow until they were a giant snowball.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Pinkie Pie as they rolled down the mountain, their snowball becoming bigger and bigger as they did so.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed everypony else.
Rainbow blinked, finding herself holding her breath underwater. She considered surfacing...but knew Zephyr was probably up there waiting for her, so instead looked down at the sea floor...and saw an abandoned divers helmet at the bottom. She dove down and grabbed it, placing it on her head and taking an extremely deep breath.
Thankfully, she failed her intelligence check to know this should be impossible. "Hehe...let's see that stinker get me down here!"
As if fate was listening, a wisp of greenish yellow stink somehow traveled underwater and across her face, and she naturally smelled it despite the helmet she was currently wearing. "Oh you have got to be kidding me!"
"I'm coming Rainbows!" called Zephyr Breeze, swimming down in a diving suit that somehow still fit him despite being gotten from a stallion, his big poofy tail exposed completely. "Do you need mouth to mouth?"
"NO!" Rainbow Dash yelled, swimming frantically away from him...as he just causally swam after her and somehow kept pace with her. The trail of stink somehow following him leaving fish floating towards the surface in his wake.
"Good, so can we just enjoy a diving date? Always wanted to go on one, you too?" Zephyr asked, as if the answer was obvious and opposite of the reality.
Rainbow Dash swam into the haul of a sunken ship...and instantly swam back out and hid directly above it as a huge Great White Shark erupted out of hole and swam fowards. Having lost sight of its primary target, the huge animal changed targets to the other apparent snack nearby and swam right as Zephyr. Rainbow Dash instantly cut and swam away, seeing an anchor chain extending down from above.
Zephyr yelped and cowered as the beast's jaws came closing at him...at which point his stink trail hit its nose and caused it to freeze in its tracks. It then somehow screamed and RAN (not SWAM) using its tailfins...straight out of the water, on the surface, and then on land.
"...Yeah! You'd better run!" bragged the male skunk, then looked up to see Rainbow Dash break the water's surface climbing the anchor chain.
Session 55.5 Kendell2
Going back to the 'Law and Chaos' thing:
As the Bearers of Chaos and Harmony continued through Discord and Accord's game, the two Starlights finally found it fit to speak again.
"So...your Sunburst leave too?" asked Starlight prime.
Chaos Starlight shook her head. "No...I did..."
Lawful Starlight's eyes went wide. "What?!"
"I got into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns and even though he could have and was invited...he just didn't want to..." said Chaos Starlight. "He didn't want to reach his true potential...So...we got split up and never saw each other again until recently...I blamed it on how ponies never pushed themselves, didn't want to be all they could be...So when I made Our Town, I made that what it was all about: the progress and advancement of yourself...no matter who you hurt...no matter who you had to step on...never letting ANYTHING hold you back or anypony...so long as you got to be on the level you wanted to be on...That way no pony would be left in the dust while their friends moved on like I was because everypony wanted to move forwards as fast as they could...I failed to realize that level of competition and attempt to be the best you could to the point of not letting anything hold you back meant ponies grew more and more apathetic to each other...more and more harmful towards each other...It was a wonder no pony got killed before Twilight and her friends stopped me...You?"
"...My Sunburst went to Celestia's School and I didn't...I blamed Cutie Marks and inequality and tried to remove BOTH from ponies lives, to structure EVERYTHING to be completely identical, all so no pony would ever lose a friend because of differences again...and in doing so, I was dragging everypony down to their lowest and took away part of them...I barely even knew my friends as ponies, only as 'my friends'...and that was all most of them knew about each other...You still feel the pull, don't you?"
Chaos Starlight nodded. "...Yeah...I still want ponies to be the best they can be...I just don't want to go that far again."
"Same for me...Wait a second, I TOOK Cutie Marks, what did you do?"
"...A modified version of Cutie Pox designed to...well, ever heard the legend of the Twice as Fancy Ponies?"
Session 55.6 Alex Warlorn
After the little filly who had come to their gate, the guards protecting the path to the undead kingdom were even more confused and bewildered when a pony showed up who resembled their leader's advisor, only looking like a teenager.
"Excuse me, is this the entry to the Undead Kingdom?"
"Er, yes."
"I see. My name is Sugarcoat, I am from another universe where apes, not equines became the dominant species. A friend of mine, Lemon Zest, had been in email contact with Discord, and he recently informed her of Twilight meeting my alternate self here. I found this interesting, and borrow books from Princess Twilight's library on the subject, and Lemon Zest sharing stories Discord had told her... and I ran across something interesting. Twilight Sparkle once outright said that ghost and zombies were nonsense. Twilight Sparkle, no matter the universe so far, always smart, even smarter than myself. Just don't tell my parents or my principle I admitted that. While a small secluded group of undead ponies in Everfree is plausible. If an entire nation of them existed, Twilight would not have been so steadfast in her belief that ghosts and zombies didn't exist, nor would she have called curses to be mere fiction."
The skeleton ponies coiled back like Sugarcoat had revealed she was holding a thermal detonator with the safety already off. "T-That's not fair! There's Fillydelphia's dragon town! When Spike The Dragon lamented earlier of not knowing about dragons, and Twilight about not having any books on dragons!"
"... That is a good point. Maybe I should visit them next. Though there is a flimsy excuse that they're a different tribe of dragons from Spike's. Oh, and if this Starlight is part of some ruling family, why wasn't she ever called 'Princess' Starlight?"
"Stop!" The skeleton ponies put their bony hooves to their skulls. "Lalalala! We can't hear you!"
"Why? If I point out how inconsistent with established events of this world you'll spontaneously cease to exist?" Sugarcoat asked scientifically.
"STOP TALKING!" The skeletons screamed in a panic, and ran away, slamming the great gates behind them and barring and locking them closed.
"LALALA! CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALA! GO AWAY!" They shouted through the door.
Sugarcoat knelt down and looked at the cards the skeleton ponies had dropped. "Full house against a king high."
"YES! I MEAN! CAN'T YOO-"
Session 55.7 JDMiles
As Zephyr made it to the surface, he saw the chain connected to the Anchor leading up to another abandoned beached ship. "Will cruises are pretty romantic... even if this one happens to be beached, I'm sure I can make it work!" The male skunk smiled as he climbed up the chain.
"HELP ME!!" Rainbow's voice called out, getting his attention. Looking around he soon saw with a voice was coming from, a cannon that somehow was stuck in the floor, it's barrel pointing up towards the sky. Lodged in the barrel was Rainbow Dash's helmet.
"SOMEONE PLEASE HELP, I'M STUCK!" She continued. "IF SOMEONE HELPS ME OUT OF HERE I SWEAR I'LL TAKE THEM ON THE MOST ROMANTIC DATE THEY'VE EVER BEEN ON! HELL I'LL EVEN MARRY THEM AFTERWARDS!"
Zephyr didn't need anymore motivation than that as he happily bounced towards the cannon. "No worries my lady, your knight in shining armor has arrived!" He proclaimed, striking a pose as he left on top of the cannon. He quickly pulled the helmet off the top and stuck his head into the barrel. "Now then, about that date..."
*BOOM*
On the floor below the cannon Rainbow Dash snickered to herself as she pulled the strinh, firing the cannon and sending the male skunk flying through the air and into the distance, a satisfying twinkle appearing in the sky for good measure.
"HAHAHA YES! FREE! I'M FINALLY FREE!!" Rainbow Dash cheered as she started dancing across the ship ignoring a nearby hole that she was getting very close to...
"Who's awesome? I'm awesome! Who's the best? I'm the best! Who's-WOAH!" She yelped as she fell through the hole, right before she fell however she could have sworn she saw a sign that read "Plot Hole".
"Oh for the love of-!" She groaned as she fell, however as she fell through the dark abyss she looked at her paws and noticed they were starting to grow and change. "Oh no! Please whatever I'm changing into let it be fast! Scratch that, let it be a bird! Yeah that's it! A fast bird!"
Suddenly a bright engulfed the tunnel and she landed face-first into the dirt. "Ow..." She groaned as she got up ruffling her feathers to get the dirt out. She then did a double-take when she realized she had feathers, a break, a long neck and long legs. "What the-"
Before she had time to ponder it however, she heard a familiar screaming voice and looked up to see none other than Zephyr flying straight into the dirt right in front of her. As he dusted himself off however, she noticed that he'd gone through an odd change as well, he was no longer a skunk (thank God), he looked more like a large bipedal dog of some kind.
"Oh man, what a trip." He mumbled to himself as he looked around, his eyes immediately becoming hearts when he noticed Rainbow Dash. "Hey Dashie, you look different... new haircut?"
Rainbow Dash didn't know what possessed her to do the following actions, but later she would chalk it up to instinct. She hopped into the air, stuck out her tongue with a "put-put-put" sound, and shouted " MEEP-MEEP!" Before zooming off at the speed of a rocket.
Session 55.8 Devcon101
"AHA! I got it!" shouted one of the skeletons, the human world Sugarcoat raising a brow.
"If Twilight never read the book on curses because she believed them untrue, then it's likely she either didn't read any books she had on this place, believing them untrue as well, or never even bothered to get any! And Starlight and Twilight are the only ones besides our Matriarch and Patriarch to truly know that Starlight is Lich-tenstein's heir, so unless she told anyone other than her friends, who are unlikely to start calling her "princess Starlight", she wouldn't be called that by anyone." Sugarcoat blinked.
"That...makes some sense...wait."
"What now?! I just gave an entire explanation for most everything!"
"...How do you even know all this? Lemon Zest told me everything. You're just two random guards."
It became eerily quiet.
"Um...potatoes?"
Session 55.9 Kendell2
Rainbow Dash raced through the desert at extreme speeds, finding this form much more her style. Her cat form had been fast, but this one made it look like a slug.
She noticed everything seem to freeze with a ding. She then noticed some words floating in the air next to her head.
Rainbow Dash
(Arcusceler Eritque)
Time resumed its proper pace and she continued to run forward, looking back to see Zephyr behind her, managing to stay within ten feet of her. Time froze again, and letters appeared in front of Zephyr.
Zephyr Breeze
(Vexas Stupidus)
Rainbow Dash gave a smirk as a slow realization donned on her. She continued to run forwards, seeing something up ahead and continuing to lead the way.
"Come on, Rainbows! Sand is getting in my paws!" called the now coyote.
"Alright..." said Rainbow, waiting... "I'll stop!" she said suddenly, coming to an instant stop.
"Say what?" asked Zepyhr, noting about two seconds too late as he sped straight off a cliff. He stopped in mid air...and unfortunately for him, succeeded in his intelligence roll.
"You'll need this..." said Rainbow, handing him a white sign reading 'Help!'
He took it, then fell with a whistle sound effect, Rainbow watching until a poof of dust occurred at the bottom of the cliff.
"This is more like it..." Rainbow said. "MEEP MEEP!" she honked before taking off in the opposite direction, knowing game rules and cartoon logic dictated Zephyr was perfectly fine. "Wonder how the others are doing..."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
A screaming, giant snowball launched off the cliff Rainbow had dove off of over, somehow flew over the water and landed in a pool on the same ship's deck the two had been on before.
The Mane Six groaned, climbing out of the pool and shaking off. "We're here!" said Pinkie Pie, jumping around.
"...Good..." said Applejack, shaking herself off like the dog she currently was...ending up fluffing out like a puff ball.
"I don't see them anywhere..." said Twilight, the owl once again looking around with her 360 degree head turn.
With some help from Rarity, Applejack was unpuffed and sniffed around the deck, coming to the place the two had been and giving a gag. "They were here..."
"But where are they now, darling?" Rarity questioned.
'Oh, sorry, you just missed them,' said Discord's voice. 'Your Rainbow Dash is in another level.'
"What?!" Twilight asked.
'Well Rainbow fell down a plot hole and is currently playing 'Roadrunner vs Coyote' with Zephyr.'
"Well send us there already!" yelled Applejack.
'Sorry, that's a two player game, Applejack. This one had room for extras, that one typically doesn't,' Discord replied.
"That's not fair!" exclaimed Twilight, looking at the sky, since that's where she bet Discord was coming from.
"Yeah! This was fun!" Pinkie Pie joined in.
"I must admit, while I did not enjoy Zephyr's aroma, it is rather anti-climatic," Rarity admitted. "One does come to a game expecting to play, darling. Sending them to play by themselves isn't very sporting."
'First off, I'm Discord,' Discord's voice replied.
"I know..." Twilight said, rolling her eyes. "'Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, hello!' Been there."
'FORMALLY Disharmony! I'm reformed! Be that as it may, I was just going to let you five wonder around the toon world having all kinds of wacky misadventures...but if you want to rescue a friend from a lovestruck skunk...' said Discord's voice.
The group blinked, watching a giant pencil descend from the sky and sketch a traditional black and white cartoon skunk.
"You wouldn't put poor Fluttershy in that situation!" Rarity exclaimed, putting herself between Fluttershy and the Prance skunk.
'Your right, my dear. Plus, the script DOES call for a female CAT with a stripe painted down her back, not a real skunk...' said Discord's voice.
Rarity blinked as the eraser end of the pencil descended, erased everything but her eyes, then redrew her as a white cat with a purple underbelly and inside of the ears. She looked back and found a black stripe painted down her back. "...When will I learn not to tempt fate?"
The skunk looked between Rarity and Fluttershy. He then focused on Rarity and dashed over to her. "Ah! Mademoiselle! You are white as snow on the peaks! You light my heart on fire!" he said in a classy Prance accent, proceeding to kiss her.
Rarity's nose twitched and she cringed. "No thank you!" exclaimed Rarity, dashing away with a scream, leaving the skunk spinning from her speed.
The skunk gave click of the tongue. "A feisty one, huh? C'est magnifique! Just as I like it!" he exclaimed, taking off hopping after Rarity.
"Discord!" exclaimed Fluttershy.
'What? I thought Rarity of all ponies would appreciate having a hopeless romantic chase her to the ends of Equus! Especially one with ze fancy Prance accent!'
Twilight gave an annoyed sigh. "We had to open our big mouths, didn't we? Come on girls."
"Ugh..." muttered Zephyr Breeze, emerging from a coyote shaped hole in the ground. "Huh...I'm alive..." he muttered.
'Of course you're alive, you idiot! It's called toon physics. You literally can't die!'
"Oh...Oh..." said Zephyr, seeming emboldened by that knowledge. "But how am I going to catch up to Rainbows now?"
He blinked, looking to the side to notice a large catalog called 'Ace Products' and a coupon for 'infinite products' next to it right there sitting on the ground.
Session 55.10 QuartzScale
Once again a group of ponies joined together with Derpy and her collection of amazing muffins. Tonight was a special occasion as some new ponies joined her tonight. On her right was the ever bouncy Lyra giggling at the chance for some fun with the muffin button. Next to her was Minuette once again wondering what was going to happen. Strangely the ponies joining her today were Berry Punch and Mr. Davenport. Derpy didn't know why they actually agreed to jon but she went along with it either way.
The other weird occurrence was that every time she turned her head she thought she had seen Discord hovering around. He always stayed just out of the corner of her eye out of sight and out of character as well. He was very quiet.
"Who would like the last muffin?" Derpy cried out as the last muffin was on the plate in front of them.
"ME!"
The two ponies who called out were Berry and Lyra. Both glared at each other though it was stopped by both of them laughing slightly. Before either could come to an agreement Derpy pressed the Muffin Button. As quickly as she pressed it Discord created a shield of his chaos magic around him
before the magic could take effect.
Lyra took on her familiar red suit and cravat while Minuette was back in the thief like suit. They each looked over each other still admiring the outfits they had received. When the two looked over to the other two their jaws dropped.
Mr. Davenport wore a judge outfit almost exactly like Derpy only he now had a large bushy beard and wore goggles as well. For some reason his face was placed in a permanent scowl. He growled out slightly while some slight muttering about his failure of a son managed to leak out. Derpy remembered that he didn't even have a son.
Berry Punch was the most changed. Her face was covered in a white clown mask while her mane got a twisted look to it and overly stylized to be more funny. She wore a ruffled choker around her neck while her pink fur seemed to be much softer. Both of them screamed villain and slightly scared the three others within the room.
"Who would like to go first?"
"I shall. As you know someone like me has a hard time relaxing and this muffin right in front of us will be the thing that finishes that. Lyra you don't require this at all. I will take it." The smile she gave was dark and foreboding. Davenport merely smiled darkly. It terrified the other mares.
OBJECTION!
"Um... Right let's not do that and just share the muffin ok?" Lyra looked around and shivered over the smile that they had.
"Yeah it shouldn't be too hard to share right Derpy?" Minuette chimed in. They both stared down Berry but eventually Derpy pressed the button again. The malice was kind of dangerous.
The ponies all looked around wondering what happened while both Berry and Davenport seemed highly confused. In the background Discord gripped at his goatee wondering immediately what had just happened. Feeling into the aether something had begun to warp the very fabric of the Muffin Button. It had become aware. It knew what was going to happen. It was ready for one more press. Without waiting for even another second Discord snapped his talons to take the button back. It didn't move and remained unaffected.
"Oh that's not good..."
Meanwhile, Derpy brought out more muffins and the ponies all ate their muffins unaware of how dangerous the Muffin Button had truly become.
Session 55.11 Mtangalion
It was crisp and cold outside, long after moonrise, but Ponyville's newest bar had a roaring fire to banish the lingering chill. Prince Blueblood sighted along the dart balanced on his hoof, squinting at the dartboard across the room. "So, gentlecolts... ah, gentlefolk, I should say! What brings you to an establishment like this? Mare problems?" He threw, and the dart hit the board slightly off center, but still in the second ring. "Am I near the mark?"
Big Macintosh sighed and took another gulp of cider. "Mare problems."
Gerold twitched his beak into a smirk. "Hen problems." The large blue-feathered and dark furred griffon approached the throw line, dart in claw. He considered thoughtfully, then padded several steps further back before he threw.
Blueblood raised an eyebrow at the griffon's bullseye. "You'd think that a Prince of Equestria would have numerous problems, but romance would not be one of them. Alas, the fair Trixie Lulamoon, that extraordinary mare I delight in matching wits with, is not so keen on becoming the next Lady Blueblood." He sighed. "A rare mare indeed."
The prince snatched up his cider mug in his magic and took a long draught. "I hardly need to ask about your troubles, Sir Macintosh. They're becoming the stuff of legend."
Big Mac covered his blush by taking a drink from his own cider. "Eeyup. Every mare from Princess Luna on down wants me. Ah almost wish there was one of me for everypony." The red stallion chuckled deeply. "Course, Granny says she'll tan my hide if Ah so much as go near that mirror pool, and don't think she couldn't do it, too." He balanced a dart on a thick, broad forehoof, give the target a calculating look, and casually threw, scoring a perfect bullseye. Again.
Blueblood gawked, then glanced to Gerold. "Apple math?"
The griffon nodded, lightly jabbing Mac with a claw. "You're standing farther back too next round! Cool?"
Big Mac laughed again. "Fair enough."
Gerold went to retrieve their darts. "Stupid question... There isn't a diamond wolf or diamond dog in charge of this joint, is there?"
Blueblood glanced around, puzzled. The white-coated, black-maned earth pony stallion behind the bar kept polishing glasses, ignoring them. "No... Not that I'm aware."
"And they don't serve meat," said Gerold. "I checked! Not even those beef jerky things."
Big Mac shuddered. "Eenope."
Gerold nodded to himself, taking another sip of cider. "So why is it ‘The Wolf Bar'?"
Prince Blueblood started to spout something witty, and found that he had nothing to offer. He decided to blame his failure of wit on the cider. "Rather than dwell on that, why don't you tell us about your own troubles?"
Gerold took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Gilda. I am so into her, and I'm sure she likes me too, but..." He shrugged his wings. "I'm not giving up being a griffon to stay in her world full time... I'm just not! And she's got her human life doing human stuff. Ugh!"
It was a testament to the strangeness of Ponyville in recent years that neither stallion had to ask what humans were. "What about the other Gilda?" ventured Prince Blueblood. "The griffon one?"
Gerold shook his head ruefully. "Single... and I'd be the biggest jerk in two worlds if I dumped the Gilda I've been dating for her."
Big Mac put a sympathetic foreleg around the griffon. "You seem like a pretty decent colt... Gerold, was it?" He winked mischievously. "Maybe you and Ah should..."
Gerold pulled back from the almost-hug, fur bristling. "Don't even joke. I don't want any moons dropped on me!"
All three of them laughed heartily, knocking their cider mugs together.
Some time later, Prince Blueblood stumbled out of the bar, trying to remember which way the Ponyville Inn lay. "Ah, I needed that!" He found himself gazing up at the full moon, shading his eyes with a hoof. "Still, what I wouldn't give to be ardently pursued by a mare who's not after my bits or title."
A faint flash lit the night, a snap-sizzle of chaotic magic. A voice from thin air spoke, "Your wish is my command, O Prince!"
Blueblood froze. "Discord!" Only now did his cider-muddled wits recall the advice he'd been given, about not making wishes in Ponyville where any draconequus might hear them. He doubled over, clutching a hoof, which cracked apart, transforming into a padded and clawed paw before his eyes. "You cad, what have you done?!"
That was just the start. "No, no no... Ouch!" He licked his tongue over sharp fangs. "What's happening?" He kept changing, bristling, *growing* so large that his courtly vest tore right off him. "Blast it, that was expensive! Oh my... Can't... ahh!" The howl that burst from his muzzle was probably heard in every corner of Ponyville and beyond... and finally he was released, panting roughly, like... like some kind of wild animal!
The brush along the road rustled, and none other than Rarity Belle emerged, wearing a very fashionable safari outfit and levitating a giant butterfly net. "Now, just stay calm," she said breathlessly, to herself as much as him. But then she took in the tattered and ripped clothes scattered around the wolf, and squealed with delight. "A wolfpony! They're real, I knew it, I knew... wait, come back!"
Blueblood the wolf loped away at top speed. "Princess! Oh, Princess Twilight!" he howled, unaware that he was racing in completely the wrong direction. "I have a very large favor to ask!!"
Session 55.12 Ardashir
"So, everything is good between us again, right?" Trixie asked Starlight as she moved her knight to take Starlight's bishop. Outside the window a bright full moon shone down on Ponyville. "Trixie supposes she was getting a little out of hoof a few days ago."
Starlight glared at her. "Yes. Just a little. I --"
Both ponies leaped to their hooves as a wild howl tore through the night.
"Wh-ha-at!" Trixie stared at Starlight and found her staring back. "D-Did that sound come from the Everfree?"
"No," Starlight gulped. "It came from inside town. It might only be a wolf, maybe one of Alisa's relatives is visiting."
"Trixie hopes not! She remembers all the trouble those beasts created with their ponysuits," Trixie shuddered. "I hear that one of them is still a maid at the Sun Palace and..."
Trixie and Starlight froze at the sound of something large racing at the doors of the Friendship Palace. Both ponies could now hear a rough hairy huh-huh-huh-huh of something panting.
"Er, did we lock the door of the Palace, or -" Starlight broke off as they heard paws slapping over the stone floor, headed in their direction. "Guess not," she said in a sickly tone.
"Hold still, you beast!" A yelp followed and they heard the runner redouble their efforts. Rarity's voice cried out again. "You can't escape! I'll finally know the truth! Bwa-ha-ha!"
"Begone, you mad-mare!" A lupine voice yelped, now almost at the door. "I'm a wolf, not a pony -- Grrrr... I mean it's the other way around..."
Trixie shook, and then seemed to come to a decision. She gathered herself and stepped out in front of Starlight, looking defiant. Her horn began to glow with magic.
Something scrabbled at the door, and it burst open to display a frothing, eye-rolling, bristling, huge white-furred blue-eyed wolf. It raced at the mares, huge paws scratching over the paving stones. Behind him Rarity raced in, wearing what looked like a brightly colored Daring Do cosplay costume and toting a butterfly net.
The wolf charged Trixie, howling. "HELP ME!"
Trixie reacted on pure instinct. Her horn glowed and with a yelp, the wolf vanished.
"Trixie!" Rarity and Starlight both yelled. "Where did you send him?"
"I was about to learn about wolfponies!" Rarity wailed.
"Ugh! There are no wolfponies!" Starlight shook her head. She turned to Trixie. "Where did you teleport him? Not to the Spa!"
Trixie's eyes widened in shock and confusion.
"What? Why would Trixie send that shaggy beast to the Spa?" She pointed at the far northern part of the Friendship Map. "Trixie sent him back to the other Diamond Wolves. He can't cause any trouble there, can he?"
###
Far North, in Icehome:
"But I swear, I'm NOT a wolf!" Blueblood struggled to escape as two gruff Diamond Wolves in lupine barding dragged him down a icy hallway between them. "I'm really a pony! I'm Prince Blueblood of Equestria!"
He whimpered and cringed as they growled at him.
"Prince Erik can decide who crazy alpha is!"
Session 55.13 JDMiles
Rainbow Dash could only snicker and amusement as she watched her pursuer from atop a cliff. At the moment Zephyr was working on the obvious trap to capture her, consisting of a large barrel with a straw coming out of the bottom, right next to it was a sign that said "free cider!", and right next to that was a table with several assorted treats.
"Well, I'm pretty parched from all this running... and that idiot probably botched construction somewhere so whatever trap he said is bound to backfire." She smirked as she casually zoomed down to the barrel and started slurping from the straw. "Mmmm! Now that's top-quality cider!" She smiled, are the completely oblivious or just not caring about the large page those positions right above her.
Zephyr smirked as he strolled up to Rainbow Dash as she continued to drink. "Well if you like that, then you're going to love the little display I have planned for our date!" He said before pressing a large button, immediately vacate fell down... right on top of Zephyr.
"Called it." Rainbow smirked as she finished her drink... only to notice several missile launchers pop out of the ground around the cage. "Why the hell would you install missile launchers for a date!?"
"I just followed the instructions!" Zephyr whined. "I thought they were fireworks!"
The missiles immediately fired upon the helpless coyote, creating a massive explosion that Rainbow was somehow unaffected by, leaving him a smoldering pile of ash with eyeballs attached.
"Well, thanks for the drink but I gotta dash! MEEP-MEEP!"
And with that Rainbow bolted down the freeway once more.
Session 55.14 Kendell2
"So Pony Rangers style RPG?" Rainbow Dash asked as she looked at the box, which depicted a Pony Rangers style hero team.
"Kinda, but not exactly," Spike, who was the 'Director', AKA Game Master for the game. "It's called 'Pastel Squad', and the plot is you're a group of stunt actors on the set of a Pony Rangers style series who get fed up with your director's lame handling and decide to make your own."
Twilight nodded. "It's half RPG, where you play as the actors recording the episode, and half managing the studio. It sounds like it'll be fun. Rarity will join us when we get a Sixth Ranger."
"Alright, fine by me..." said Rainbow Dash. "I can play that, so what do we do?"
"Start with the tutorial, of course," said Spike.
"Wait wait wait," said Rainbow Dash after the tutorial completed. "We just fought a bunch of mooks and then beat the monster with the finisher right out of the gate!"
"Yep," said Spike.
"And the director says 'best episode of the season?' Oh come on, that's FIRST episode territory!" the cyan pegasus replied. "We didn't even get a giant robot fight!"
"Ah'm with Rainbow on that one," Applejack replied.
"Which is why you guys quit to go start your own," said Spike with a chuckle. "One of you has an uncle with a spare warehouse you can use, so what's your studio name?"
Session 55.15 Mtangalion
By this time, Prince Blueblood was so shaken up that he barely had the wits to pay attention to where the Diamond Wolf guards were taking him. Definitely not towards the main caverns, which he'd toured with Erik before. They padded into the side tunnels, down an older passage with fewer glow gems and more rough stone than wall carvings. The pony turned wolf stepped in a puddle of slushy ice and yelped, shaking a big fluffy forepaw that was now soaking wet and shockingly cold.
The guards barked with laughter and kept prodding him onward. Of necessity, he began to watch his step as they did. "Princesses save me," he rumbled to himself, quietly, or so he thought. "I'm becoming more like them already! No, no... I am myself! I am Blueblood the Prince, Blueblood the diplomat. I will think my way clear of awful mess. I'm not a savage beast!"
The guard on his left flattened his ears, snarling. "Shut up. Erik is Prince here, fool! He'll show you what happens when wolves insult Icehome Pack."
Blueblood cringing back, whimpering. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean..."
The second guard grinned, fangs showing. "No worries. Erik is strong! Even if crazy coward is really big, he's no match for Erik."
They shoved him roughly through an iron door, then followed him into the chamber beyond. Other wolves pulled the doors closed, sealing them inside. More golden eyes gleamed in the dim light, a surprising number of armed and armored wolves... who sat by the walls, standing watch?
Something nagged at Blueblood's memory, something from his diplomatic briefings. Challenges needed to be witnessed, if not by the whole pack, then at least by enough strong pack members to confirm that the alphas fought with their own strength. "No, no no... I can't die here. I have a ball to host this weekend! I'll get blood all over my... coat?" He groaned at his shaggy white fur. "Pull it together, stop babbling... Ah!! I'm possibly about to fight the duel of my life, and I'm stark naked. This is completely unacceptable."
When Prince Erik padded into the room, silver furred with his blue vest and polished moonstone collar, there was actually a flicker of doubt in the Diamond Wolf's eyes. Even *Erik* had to look up to Blueblood now! It passed in an instant, and the proud and confident Prince that Blueblood remembered from the Icehome-Crystal Empire treaty negotiations was back in full force.
Erik stalked right up nose to nose with Blueblood, smirking. "Young fool. What's this talk of you challenging me?"
"I'm not!" Blueblood blurted out. "I assure you, I am absolutely not here to challenge anyone for anything! Why does everywolf keeping saying that?"
Price Erik gave him that look, the sort of look that the Keeper of the Royal Treasury often wore when he couldn't decide whether Blueblood was an idiot, or having great fun mocking him. "You barged into Icehome," said Erik, with great patience. "Ignored guards. No respect for anywolf. Loudly demanding that you would see me at once. What are wolves supposed to think?"
Blueblood opened his jaws... then shut them with an audible snap. "Oh... Oh! Oh dear..." He felt as if he ought to be sweating... did wolves do that? "I'm very sorry! Yes, I'm most sorry, and I bow before the mighty and merciful Erik, Prince of Icehome! See, I'm doing it now!" He pressed his belly to the stone floor, wishing he could sink lower. "All hail Prince Erik!"
He was badly startled when most of the Diamond Wolves howled "All hail Prince Erik!" right after him. Some of the guards nodded fervently, and others whispered among themselves, tails wagging once again.
For his part, Erik covered his face with a paw. "Idiot. Lucky guards caught you before whole city saw. Who are you? What's your pack?"
"I don't have a pack," said Blueblood, and that somehow made every Diamond Wolf in the room gasp in dismay, as if he'd just confessed to wetting the bed nearly every week between the ages of five and seven. Even Erik seemed shocked.
Blueblood lowered his voice and pressed on. "I know I seem to be a wolf now, but in actuality, I am Blueblood of Equestria, a pony transformed into a wolf by one of Discord's pranks. Please, your highness, do you not remember me? I could sorely use your aid!"
Erik leaned closer, peering right into Blueblood's eyes, and he sniffed deeply too. "Great Fenris," he muttered, eyes widening. "You. I do remember." He nodded thoughtfully. "I still don't know how you convinced me to agree to all the terms I did. Yes, I remember the little princeling with such a gift for words..."
Blueblood's face lit up.
"Words like ‘Did you smell that one's breath? Revolting! Bring me a handkerchief at once!' and ‘I suppose it's better to trade with those meat-eating savages than to fight a war with them.'"
Blueblood froze. "I, ah... That is, you weren't meant to..."
Prince Erik grinned sharply, flicking his ears. "Wolves hear things." He lifted a paw and patted Blueblood on the shoulder heavily. "Must be sure you're not wearing magic costume. Pardon me."
Blueblood blinked. "Pardon you for what... Gah!"
In the space of a few moments, Erik seized Blueblood's forelimb, nicked it hard with a claw, and licked the trickle of blood. While Blueblood snatched his paw back, cradling it, Erik licked his chops, his expression growing astonished. "Wolf AND pony? What does this mean?"
The Prince stayed lost in thought for nearly half a minute before he grinned, nodding fervently. "I see. Your tale is true, and now you're playing the Wolf Game from OUR side of the board." He gave Blueblood another ‘friendly' clap on the shoulder, then raised his voice. "Listen, all of you! There's no challenge here. Icehome is secure. Bluvad comes from far off, and he doesn't know our ways. I will teach him, so he doesn't mess up again! Maybe he'll even join us, add his strength to Icehome! Go now, back to duties."
Blueblood watched the Diamond Wolf guards file out, most of them looking satisfied, some even offering him friendly waves or welcoming nods, but Blueblood himself swished his tail uncertainly. "Not that I'm not grateful, your highness, but surely there's no need. You can simply deliver me to Princess Cadence, and surely once all is explained, she will speed me on home, where I might be cured of my condition."
"Condition, is it?" said Erik.
Blueblood realized he'd put his hoof... or paw in his mouth yet again. "I didn't mean..."
Erik lifted a forepaw, and his claws were glowing white, trailing an icy mist. "You're really in a hurry to trade this..." He swept his paw towards a long wall, and ice grew upon it, condensing into a perfectly smooth mirror. "... for this?" Another wave, and magical ice crystals formed the shape of a familiar... and surprisingly little pony, one with a perfectly brushed mane and a courtly vest.
Blueblood hesitated, then padded towards his reflection, suddenly very aware of the weight of his steps, the power of his new form, all that muscle beneath his shaggy white fur and hide. "I... I never needed brute strength. I always had magic and royal guards for that." He clenched a forepaw. "It feels... good."
He saw Erik in the mirror, moving to stand beside him. "Wolves know Discord as Koschei. There's a saying from the old tales. Take Koschei's pranks with grace, and don't scorn his gifts."
Blueblood blinked. "A gift? I don't know if I'd go that far."
Erik laughed. "If Bluvad's in a big hurry to run on home to servants who roll their eyes before they do what he says, nowolf will stop him. Do what you will." He padded towards the door, not waiting for an answer.
Blueblood glanced at his reflection for a moment more, wheels turning in his head. "Maybe I *don't* need to leave right away. After all, it's not like I'm not running out on my royal responsibilities. Yes... yes, I'm ‘walking a mile in another pony's shoes,' or in another wolf's pawprints, I suppose... I'm bettering myself as a diplomat! Auntie Celestia would surely approve of that! I say, wait up!"
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Okay wolf pony blueblood is officially my favorite thing to come out of this story we need more of that. Once again yet another great set of stories HUZZAH
Wolf Blueblood is best Blueblood!
Also, WHY DOES THE MUFFIN BUTTON HAVE TO END?! OH, THE EQUINITY!
ACME not Ace Products...For the Road Runner and W E Coyote.
8102337
The muffin button was funny at first, but now I find myself skipping those sections entirely.
It's a gag that worked once or twice, but became annoying after that.
8102337
8103579
Honestly I ran out of ideas for the Muffin Button but I made sure to keep up with it. Every Session since it was created there was at least one Muffin Theater. So now its time to end on a high note hopefully. I don't know how but it will end next story since it turned sentient and more powerful than Discord.
8103630
"More powerful than Discord" I'm pretty sure that's called a Sue.
8103663 Trust me it will be in a funny way. It's still a button after all and it needs someone to press it. Also by powerful I mean it can resist Discord trying to teleport it to his talon to carry it away since he did technically create it without worrying about what it could do.
Pepe Le Pew chasing Penelope Cat got hilarious enough.
But, Wile E Coyote vs Roadrunner? I couldnt stop laughing for two minutes as soo as Dash realised Discord had given her the bird. I can just see Zephyr, on his next visit to Ponyville, not running screaming from the CMCs catapult, because he either Applejack Team Rockets get launched by it, or even better, due to Discord, undergoes the Entire Catapult sequence.
Why Would Trixie teleport Blueblood to the spa?
TEACUP.
As for Rarity Thornberry chasing after Prince Bluvad?
Smashing.
Not, really.
WHAT is is going to take for you to buzz off?!
He's right.
Really? Really? I have to question how necessary this scene was.
You dense motherfucker.
Not sure I want to.
Oh good, you actually escape him now.
I love the roadrunner cartoons.
Not so long as rule of funny applies.
Yup.
You'd be amazed.
Discord.
8104265
As necessary as the loving soft breeze of the ocean after being poked by hot pokers by a thousand demons.
Zephyr and Rainbow as Warner Brothers cartoons were great. The contrast of the different series kept it from seeming to harsh to either character.
I also like the story about Prince Blueblood. Not sure if he will go back to Equestria soon, but if he still has that outstanding wish to find a gal who isn't interested in his title or money, I totally ship AlisaXBlueblood.
Remember kids, if helping someone would adversely affect you, don't!
No mind to control. Huh.
Should be hoof. Also,
I don't know, how many thousand year evils can be sealed away in one country?
She's an Ork! Run!!!!
Pinkie, you're as bad as Kunckles.
Unless you're Lex Luthor from Rebirth, and you have gradual change and character development and DC I will end you if you reverse that!
HAHAHA! ...I will not rant about Captain America having his character destroyed, I will not, I am in control, Marvel Comics can go die, I will not rant...
Pinkie Pie: element of optimism.
So you made Rapture. Wonderful.
Yipe!
Oh dear Celestia she's Apple Pie! Run!
Rainbow, you lucky mare.
Yeah, I got nothin', this is just really well put-together.
And its so easy when you're evil.
When it stops being funny. So never.
IT SHALL NEVER DIE!!!
https://youtu.be/p8M2tg2RkIQ?t=41
Is that a reference?
T. Oliver Studios.
8113991
Only Sonic Boom Knuckles. Normal Knuckles will just swallow any excuse as long it justifies him punching Sonic in the face.