Session 87
Session 87.0 Mtangalion
The latest informal Princess Summit began in the Friendship Castle’s dining hall, when Princess Celestia took a long, relaxing sip of her tea, then gently set the cup down. “Twilight, while I’m pleased that the Cozy Glow incident has been successfully resolved, with the exception of finding out whatever became of that misguided filly’s parents, I must say, I’m puzzled that you didn’t make better use of your Twilight Guard and castle staff during the crisis.”
Some of Twilight’s tea nearly went down the wrong way. “My what, now?”
“You could have sent your guards to investigate Tartarus in your stead,” continued Celestia. “Alternately, you might have dispatched them to keep order at your gaming academy while you were away.”
“Wait, wait, wait…” said Twilight, her teacup sloshing as she put it down. “I don’t have…”
“But you do, your highness!” a stallion’s voice proudly proclaimed, right behind her.
Twilight spun about and realized for the first time that there were two guard stallions standing at attention behind her, just as there were two Solar, two Lunar, and two Crystal Guards in the room. The “Twilight Guards” wore dark purple barding stamped with her cutie mark, and carried bright silver lances.
Twilight groaned. “I *don’t* have a Twilight Guard. I have these weird stallions who camp out in my castle and won’t go away.”
The second Twilight Guard saluted smartly. “We fully understand your current desire for simplicity and modesty, Princess! We of the Twilight Guard are as silent and ephemeral as the twilight itself, seen only when we’re meant to be seen!”
Tempest Shadow smirked, rolling her eyes. “I still say I should be your Twilight Guard Captain. I’ll train them to kick flank and take names for you, Princess.”
Spike kicked back, resting his feet on the table. “I’m surprised you didn’t notice the staff before, Twi.” He snapped his claws, and four maid ponies trotted in and bowed low. “I mean, did you think this whole castle was cleaning itself by magic while you were busy with the school? Or that I was doing it all, before I had wings?”
Twilight blushed. “Well, actually…”
A tan earth pony mare in an old-fashioned vest stepped forward. “Chief Strategist Smart Cookie the Thirty-Third reporting for duty, your Highness! I have the up-to-date balances of your personal and Friendship Gaming Academy accounts, and the three year budget and investment plans at your convenience! Oh, and Master Spike? Again, my deepest gratitude to you for hiring me, and my next move in our chess game is Castle to Prince Five.”
“Yeah, Spike knows how to pick ‘em, alright,” said Garble, wearing… a bathrobe? He turned and bellowed, “Hey, are you ready for my scale buffing and claw filing yet?”
A unicorn leaned into the room, wearing a blacksmith’s apron and levitating a welding mask and magical blowtorch. “Almost ready, Ambassador Garble!”
Cadence smiled. "We were happy to suggest some names and go through the resumes with Spike..."
Trixie whistled at the Twilight Guards, glancing to Rarity. “Yes! Big handsome strapping stallions! Trixie votes we keep them!”
Rarity swished her tail, sharing a grin with Starlight. "So do I, darling!"
"Neither of you get a vote in this!" shouted Twilight.
“Twily, relax,” said Shining Armor. “I got used to being royalty… you will too.”
Twilight took several deep breaths. “Okay… *maybe* a staff is a good idea, but when have my friends and I ever needed our own guard?”
Princess Luna cleared her throat. "Starlight Glimmer, Chrysalis' foalnap squad, that angry Friendship Journal mob, Starlight Glimmer, Cozy Glow just now..."
Spike raised a claw. “Um, you said Starlight twice."
"She's a repeat offender."
“Hey!” protested Starlight.
Session 87.1 SomeRandomMinion
(Continuing from 85.22)
"Wow, Cozy really got them going," Gallus mused as he prowled a forum. "There's a ton of humans getting their feathers ruffled, whining for an evil option. Geeze, what is up with these people? Tirek isn't even that cool!"
====
Down in Tartarus, Tirek sneezed.
"Bless you," Cozy offered, hoofing him a napkin.
====
Twilight couldn't suppress a smirk. "Really? Surprised they didn't learn their lesson after last time. Wonder how the devs will smack them down this time...?" She chuckled, a little sinisterly.
...And noticed the worried looks her students were giving her. "The people who made the game added in a 'villain path' a while back, but it didn't end well for the players who became evil. I'll tell you all the details later, but let's just say they had a bad time."
"Well whatever happened, it serves them right," Smolder added. "Hope they add Cozy to the game, so everyone can fight her. I still say she got off easy."
"She's imprisoned in Tartarus, maybe forever, with no visitors; in a really small cage...and you think she got off easy?" Sandbar asked, eyes wide. "She's not exactly in time-out down there..."
Smolder shrugged. "To dragons, anything short of getting scorched, stomped or eaten--or all three--IS getting off easy. I still say we should have given her to Torch, by the way. He'd teach her a lesson for sure!" She stomped and ground her foot on the floor to show what kind of 'lesson' the huge dragon would teach the sociopathic filly.
"Or she'd trick him into rampaging across Equestria with that 'innocent cute face' trick of hers," Gallus deadpanned, laughing when Smolder stuck out her tongue. "Huh, they're asking where 'Empress' went. Headmare Twilight, you wanna break the news? I want to see how these wannabe villains take it when you say Cozy got a 'Game Over', for good."
Twilight shook her head. "Gallus, making fun of people is wrong, even when they're wrong. Or defend somepony who committed high treason. Or...think being evil is something to admire--" She broke off, eyes going wide. She remembered everything Cozy had put her through; put Equestria through...
A smirk came to her face. "Well. Maybe just this once."
She took a seat before the keyboard, and telekinetically typed out a post:
The 'Empress of Friendship' wouldn't be logging in again. Ever. In fact, she wouldn't get anywhere near a computer for the rest of her life.
Also, wanting to join Tirek was a silly idea.
With the click of a mouse, she posted her thoughts.
And then the whining and moaning started from Cozy's supporters.
Ten were banned from Horsecraft for life within five minutes.
Twilight and her students simply laughed and enjoyed the Schadenfreude.
Session 87.3 Alex Warlorn
Cozy Glow asked, "Hey, pen-pal, can I borrow that computer Pinkie Pie gave you to play World of Hosecraft on?"
Tirek shrugged. "I haven't played it in forever, so sure."
=
Spike asked, "Twilight, when is the last time you PLAYED World of Horsecraft? I mean, they released that HUUUUUUGE expansion pack you MADE A PERSONAL APPEARANCE FOR in the human world... and it's like no pony, or human, is actually playing it! Wouldn't that discourage Crystalsoft? And make them think they don't have enough player agency in the game, and thus decide to go with a villain faction that's closer to the Legion of Gloom from Power Ponies more than Playe from UnderStory?"
Twilight looked at Spike, and said nothing, little alarm bells and little gears turning in her head.
"Well... I have been very busy..."
"Not since Cozy Glow, we got our six month break between all the insanity that happens in our lives..."
"Well, okay... but... Uh, I BETTER LOG IN!"
Session 87.4 Alex Warlorn
Twilight was playing yet another Enchanted Comic, this time with her friends, Spike, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie.
This time they were playing Legends of Grimstone. Convicted of unknown crimes, (they players were meant to fill in the details), the heroes were dumped into a hole at the top of a huge mountain, being 'pardoned' as they're tossed in, with the pretense of trying to escape through the bottom, which no one had done.
Fighting through hordes of monsters, puzzles, traps, level by level, it became obvious that the dungeon had existed long before the King had used it as a dumping ground, and in fact they may have been sentenced here in the hope of discovering whatever 'treasure' lay at the bottom.
They also began to have shared dreams where a voice was speaking to them, telling them it could trust them, and they weren't criminals 'like the others' and how 'they' had twisted the dungeon from the purpose 'his people' had built it.
When they got to the lower layers, the dungeon was made of metal and bolted rather than carved stone. The voice now speaking to them when awake, told them that 'they' had destroyed 'the mechanism' and if they were able to repair it, the 'portal' would enable them all to escape.
The party found the pieces, and put them into the machine at the center of the last level... only for the machine (a big cube) to come to life, reveal it had been the voice, and that "your only freedom is death!" The party fled from the invincible machine, only to find the tomb of the designers which told of how if the cube was set free it would destroy the world and Grimstone was a prison exclusively for it. They'd figured out the last puzzle and gotten the weapon to paralyze the cube and take the parts they themselves had put in to make it vulnerable to attack.
Then Twilight Sparkle had to open her big fat mouth. "Why do you want to kill us?"
"Huh?" Said the Cube as it continued to roll around trying to crush them.
"You heard me. How does killing us profit you in any way? There is obviously a way out of here, or was your plan to just roll around this floor for eternity? And how exactly are you a threat to everything that lives? I mean, the next wall or cliff you come across out of here, and you'll be stuck. If you could levitate you wouldn't go AROUND those pits when trying to kill us, which again, you really don't have any motive to do. The four of us could have been your allies, your companions, get more people on your side, trick everypony into building a robot army for you since I assume you know enough about your own mechanics to tell us how to repair you. So after we freed you, why do you just stuck around here? Or you waiting for us to come back eventually so you can kill us? Why? Why turn on us? You did a brilliant job of getting us to repair you, but everything after that just feels like giving us an excuse to destroy you."
And the enchanted comic crashed, and the three ponies and one dragon were spat out and the comic vanished.
"TWILIGHT!!" All three of her friends gave her the stink eye.
"What?! Those plot holes were just too glaring! It's not my fault the writers of these enchanted comics never think their big twists through!"
"How many enchanted comics does this make now?!" Rainbow Dash huffed. "We go through all the trouble of setting the time aside, getting into character, reading up on the rules, and BANG you make us lose our deposit!"
"It's like ever since you discovered enchanted comics, AND that YK Darling was secretly Daring Do, you can't suspend your disbelief for them!"
"I hate to say they're right Twilight, but they're right," Pinkie Pie said.
"So I should just give clumsy written stories a pass?" Twilight said defiantly. "If the writers are going to include a twist they should make sure it ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE!"
"Quibble Pants isn't as bad you!" Rainbow exclaimed.
"Who?"
"Oh right, you guys weren't there for that adventure."
"Does Soarin' have somepony to be jealous of?" Pinkie Pie grinned.
"Agh! I don't think I can even DATE Soarin', he outranks me as a Bolt! And Quibble Pants and me are just friends IN SPITE of our differences. It's like the difference between Lyra and Bon Bon verses Octavia and Vinyl!"
"So is Soarin' the 'Lyra and Bon Bon' then?" Pinkie Pie asked.
Rainbow blushed. "We're getting off topic! The point is Twilight, this isn't the first time, or the second, or the third! This has got to stop!"
"Well SORRY that I don't want to turn off my upper brain functions to enjoy something. Am I supposed to just ignore these plot holes? Like when we played Elderly Scrolls and we arrived in the spirit world of the Mythical Dusk cultists?"
"Oh! What horrible horrible horrible fools we were to join this cult! Now we are tortured by demons forever!" Wailed the soul of a cultists in a perfectly beautiful wooded area with some beaches and some houses.
And the first thing Twilight asked the cult leader when they're broken into his mansion in the customized spirit realm was,
"Why are you having demons torture the souls of your own cultists? I mean, you explicitly created this spiritual realm for them and yourself. Do you PAY the demons in sadistic pleasure in torturing them, and they're going to serve as your real army? Since you're going to open a permanent gate between the living and spirit world, wouldn't make more sense to keep them on your side after they die? They were so fanatically loyal to you before you betray them after their deaths, they likely wouldn't have minded being your servant class for eternity if you wanted to live forever in luxury. It feels like it serves no purpose what-so-ever other than us to see you as even more evil, which kinda redundant since we've already seen how evil you are. Or to make sure we positively. absolutely, know which side is the bad guy in an otherwise complex in-depth historic and political world."
And out of the crashing comic they now.
"Now you really do sound like Quibble Pants." Rainbow Dash said.
Spike meanwhile, had an idea, wrote a message, and dragon-mailed it.
-
'Spike, I have more things to do with my time than have a reader, even if it's Princess Twilight Sparkle, get over her trouble suspending her disbelief.' Daring Do wrote back as she avoided the poison darts and having to claim another indestructible artifact from yet another greedy villain.
'Pllleeeeeaassse! It's getting unbearable! I want you to... to tell Twilight the things you edited in your stories.' Was Spike reply.
Tied up for the millionth time (she really needed more escape artist classes, again), Daring Do replied, 'You're asking me to break the veil, even my readers who know about my double-life don't know about the revisions I make.' She wrote back with her mouth.
'Come on! Twilight WAS ON the adventure where you created an expy of Rainbow Dash!'
'So what makes you think me revealing other changes I made due to demands of my editors or to keep it all kid friendly would be different?' She wrote with one wing and sword fought with the other.
'Just trying it, PLEASE? We can't take this anymore! You're our only hope!'
'Fine! Just let me get back from the center of Equus and I'll be right over!'
(Anyone feel free to continue.)
Session 87.5 Alex Warlorn
Sci-Twi exasperated to her pet, "Spike for the last time! I am not going out of my way to grant sapience to anymore dogs! Keeping track of you and Ember trouble is enough as is!"
"But Smolder is a really nice puppy!"
"And I said NO! Right now I'm trying to figure out why Winona is a dog incapable of speech in BOTH WORLDS, while you have been granted speech and sapience by Equestrian magic, when her Equestrian counterpart has spent their entire life in the stuff. And shouldn't she be a dragon? This is a disturbing inconsistency."
"Well, pony princess you doesn't have glasses."
"... I always assumed she wore contacts..."
Session 87.6 Mtangalion
Just then, a familiar beat-up pickup drove past, pulling into the dog park's parking lot. Spike's ears instantly perked up. "Woohoo! Gilda's here with Ember! Honestly Twi, you worry too much."
Twilight sighed. "I suppose... Wait, is that what I think it is?"
"Well, well, if it isn't Spike!" barked a mocking voice.
Spike yelped, freezing in place. "That scent!" He spun around. "G-Garble!?"
The larger red dog advanced on the purple pup. "I've got just one thing to say to you, runt..."
Spike gulped, whimpering a bit.
And then Garble stuck his tongue out, razzing Spike. "Hah! You and your humans thought you stopped me, but I still got the voice of the masters!" He glanced aside at Gilda, snorting. "Dunno why I even wanted it, though. Ugh, why do there have to be so many rules!? Don't poop here, don't shed there..."
"Hey, Spike!" said Ember, trotting over to Spike and Garble. "There's a lot of dogs here today! That means a lot of butts to sniff!"
"I know, right?" said Spike and Garble simultaneously. Each of them blinked at the other in surprise, then turned away in a huff.
Twilight was still gawking. "How... when?"
Gilda wandered over to Twilight, patting her pockets as if looking for a cigarette pack, then gave up grumpily. "What, didn't Sunset shoot you a text or something?" She smirked, hands in pockets. "Heh, I thought you were a total dweeb, but I changed my mind. You must be a real trooper if you can put up with even one talking dog."
Twilight yanked on her increasingly frazzled hair. "Could this possibly make any less sense?!"
Back in Equestria, Smolder the Dragon poked the mirror portal with a claw, then jumped back from the shimmering rainbow colors.
Garble the Dragon grinned toothily. "Go on, it'll be fine. I mean, me, Spike, and Ember have been in there already, but if you're scared..."
Session 87.7 Alex Warlorn
Vice President of Crystalsoft, Chrysalis, sighed. "Mr. Sombra, we have to face facts. We just aren't drawing in the numbers like we used to. In spite of what bad to be our biggest expansion ever, people just aren't playing the game as much. Nor as they as invested. Profits are down this year. Along with our other smaller game projects. I hate to say it, but we might soon have to close shop."
---
Canterlot High student Rainbow Dash, captain of every sports team of the school (and infamous for struggling with her grades, and her sport scholarship was the only way she was ever getting into collage), was sitting in her room at her computer.
"Oh man I'm so excited! Power Ponies Online's first day! And I bought a premium pass and everything! This is gonna be so cool! Should I play a hero or a villain? Heh, well, we're gonna need an arch nemesis, so I bight as well be me! If I don't like it I can just play the quest that lets you switch sides... Here we go!"
Rainbow Dash, or rather, The_Dashing__Rainbow, materialized into Maretropolis, ready to visit the Power Tower, or the Stable of Doom to begin the initiation hero or villain quest... there was just one problem.
"Heelllllooooo.... is there anybody heeeeeeeere? Come on it's opening day! There should be tons of people here! I can't be the only player here right? Hellllooooooo!" The_Dashing__Rainbow zipped around, but besides some humble NPCs ... there were no other players to be found. It was opening day, and the game world was empty.
Session 87.8 Ardashir
"Dash!" Applejack waved to the pegasus as she flew into the room. She and the rest of the Mane Six save only Princess Twilight sat around the table of the tree, with deice and figurines at hoof. "'Bout time ya got here -- wait, is that a newspaper you're holdin'?"
"Yeah," Rainbow Dash said as she dropped down, bearing that days copy of the Canterlot Sun. "You guys see this?" She showed the front page story off to her friends.
"Oooh, look! It's a picture of Spike and Grubber and Garble from that time they joined that dice tournament last year and almost got murdered by Flim and Flam's legbreakers. What?" Pinkie Pie looked at the others. "Uh, touchy subject?"
Somepony cleared their throat behind her. Pinkie Pie turned and smiled to see Twilight and Spike standing there. "Hi Twi! Hi Spike! We were just talking about the time Spike almost won a fortune in Los Pegasus doing those things you told him to never ever do!"
"Gee, thanks Pinkie," the little dragon groused. Pinkie just smiled and hopped back to her chair as Twilight took the paper. Spike took a look at it. "Didn't the Sun used to be a little more intellectual?"
"It's not what you think, Spike," Twilight said as she read. "They're just discussing some of the big news stories from the past year." She showed it to her friends. Besides Spike, Grubber, and Garble being throttled by minotaur and Yeti casino security, there were photos of Cozy's attempted takeover and several monster attacks along with some of Discord's pranks. "Wait, Discord exchanged the minds of the Yaks and Griffons for a day, then gave it up when no one noticed any difference?"
"I'm just surprised our dear Spikey-wikey and the others made that list," Rarity gave the little dragon a hug. "How important are dice tournaments?"
"An' what trouble will it cause?" Dash looked at her friends.
"Please, Dash!" Twilight snorted. "How much trouble can a story about Spike's never to be repeated error in shooting craps cause trouble?"
At that moment there came a knock at the door. The ponies froze. Spike, who stood nearest, looked at it, gulped, and opened them.
"Not you!"
"My boy!" Sludge strolled in. He picked Spike up and hugged him. "My hatchling! My flesh and blood! My little craps expert!"
"AHHH!" Spike yelled and wriggled out of Sludge's embrace. "Why are you here? You're not my father! And I never wanted to see you again, you fraud!"
Sludge just smirked and waved a paper.
"Actually, turns out I am your dad," he said. "I figured it out when I saw the story in the paper; I was pretty hot with dice when I was a hatchling myself. and years ago I had this fling with a gorgeous female dragon." Sludge's eyes seemed to film over as he said, drooling, "You should have seen the size of the rocks in her hoard. Emeralds and rubies as big as a pony's head!"
"Charming," Twilight said coldly as she flew over. "Now why are you here?"
"As I was saying," Sludge sniffed, "after the fling, that dragoness told me she was gonna lay an egg. I told her she should go inta the stage, everyone lays an egg there, ha-ha!" He looked around, sporting a big grin. Not even Pinkie Pie smiled. He slumped, "Anyhow, she told me that since I was no darn good -- some dames have such ridiculous high standards -- she was gonna give her egg ta ponies ta raise. I didn't care then, but since I read in the paper how my boy's a genius with the bones," he tossed a pair of dice before offering them to Spike, who glanced at a furious Twilight before stepping back, "I decided ta repair all them burned bridges and take my kid out for some father-son bonding stuff. Ya know, travel Equestria and see the great historical sites. Manehattan, Canterlot, Las Pegasus..."
"Hold it!" Twilight put herself between Spike and Sludge. "Spike is my responsibility. That means he isn't going anywhere unless I approve of it. And he's not going anywhere with some, some..."
"Lazy, fat, slovenly, lying dragon?" Pinkie helpfully suggested.
"Lying, am I?" Sludge smirked and waved the paper he held under Twilight's nose. Her ears drooped as she read it. Meanwhile Sludge said, "That paper says I'm Spike's legal father, an' now he's my stooge -- I mean responsibility. Now that Equestria is friendly with dragons, it's amazing what the pony government will do ta stay on our good side. Especially when it's for a dragon related to Torch." He strutted as the ponies and Spike stared in disbelief. Sludge tossed the dice from claw to claw. "Of course, if you want ta challenge me to a game to prove he's my kid, I'm ready for that too."
Twilight and her friends looked furious, but Spike stepped out around the princess and looked Sludge in the face. "What's the challenge?"
"We shoot the dice," Sludge said. "I bet my pro-piet, my pro-poo, ah!" He waved his arms. "My right ta take ya wherever I want in exchange for, oh, say," he looked around, broke off a piece of the crystal wall and messily ate it. "This castle! So whadda ya say, Princess," Sludge grinned evilly into her face.
"You game or not?"
Session 87.9 Kendell2
Twilight looked to Sludge. "You think I'd bet Spike AND a castle with a vital to Equestrian security object inside it on a game of dice? I think you're underestimating me..."
Sludge rolled his eyes. "How so?"
"Well for starters, legally speaking..."
Pinkie Pie slowly rose up next to her with a slide whistle sound effect. "Can we do the thing?"
Twilight sighed. "Pinkie..."
"Please?! Discord has wanted to do THAT ever sense we started resolving legal things with games!"
"...Fine..."
Discord suddenly appeared with a smirk. "Then court is now in session! MWHAHAHA!"
"Wait what-"
Discord suddenly snapped his fingers and a flash of light surrounded everything.
= Trial - Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney =
Sludge blinked, finding himself sitting in a court room in the defendant's seat. "What the...AH!" he yelled, noticing his voice not working and instead being in a dialog box in front of him with each word emitting a beep as it went by. "What's going on?!" he asked, then noticed everything was in pixels.
"Silence in the court!" called Discord (his dialog appearing with random noises and initially in Wing Ding font until he realized no one could understand that and thus wouldn't pay attention to him and changed it to the most garish available font), sitting in the judge's chair with a powdered wig made of candy canes. A second Discord in a bailiff's outfit standing by the chair cleared is throat.
"All rise for the honorable Judge Discord!"
"Thank you, Discord!"
"You're quite welcome, Discord."
"Now, will the defendant...or prosecution...the overweight annoying dragon to the left please present his evidence for why he has custody of Spike?"
Sludge blinked, trying to find everything he'd brought floating in an Evidence Window in front of him. He pushed on the square with the paper he'd brought with him, which caused a description to pop up which he confirmed after fiddling around with things in confusion.
Discord looked at it floating in a box next to his head. "And what is this?"
"It's confirmation I'm Spike's legal father, which means I can take him anywh-"
"Objection!" said Twilight, sitting nearby.
Discord looked at her expectantly. "We only accept one method of objection in this court."
Twilight sighed.
= Objection! - Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney =
"OBJECTION!"
Sludge jumped as the word appeared in huge bold red letters in mid air and nearly fell out of his chair and was actually audible.
"While this document does state Sludge is Spike's legal father, it does not state who he has SOLE custody! It doesn't regard who the other parent is at all!" Twilight announced, dramatically, and ending by slamming her hooves on the table.
Sludge blinked. "Well...uh...His mother said..."
"OBJECTION!...Again."
Twilight pointed dramatically. "Sludge outright said minutes ago that Spike's mother 'gave her egg to ponies to raise'! And therefore, she waved legal right to Spike! As by dragon law, and I quote, 'no take backs!' Under Equestrian laws, Spike is considered either an orphan, a child found without parents known, or abandoned under safe haven laws, which means that by doing so she released her child for adoption with Sludge confirming she knowingly did so. Therefore, Spike's mother is no longer his legal mother!"
Sludge tried to follow. "I...didn't know that..."
"Which means Spike's legal mother is officially..." Twilight paused, selecting evidence, causing adoption papers to appear next to Discord's head, then legal guardianship papers besides it. "Princess Celestia by virtue of me being too young to sign legal documents at the time, with me as government approved legal guardian..."
"But for all intents and purposes, yeah, she's his mom," Rainbow Dash stated bluntly from the seats, causing Twilight's model to get a very noticable blush.
Sludge's confusion over this somehow resulted in his 'model' detailing the appropriate details more thoroughly.
"So even if Sludge is Spike's legal father, he shares custody with me and/or Celestia!" Twilight announced.
"The judge finds in favor of the defendant...prosecutor...the nerdy Alicorn!" Discord announced, everything suddenly becoming the image of a rubber chicken being used as a gavel slamming down before things were back to normal, Sludge looking around in complete bewilderment.
Sludge finally glared at Discord. "I don't think you're a judge..."
Discord gave a laugh. "As officially a judge as you are a parent, even got my documents in the same place...I made myself judge for during my reign for giggles..."
"And even if Discord isn't a judge, CELESTIA is, being a monarch and all, and she'd feel the same way," Twilight said with a glare. "Which means I'm as much Spike's parent as you are! Oh, and by the way: I'm on CURRENT Dragon Lord EMBER'S good side! So HA!"
Spike looked to Sludge. "You tried to pull a fast one on one of the smartest ponies in the world."
OOC: I admit, due to real life things, I'm personally ticked off at Sludge for this stunt.
Session 87.10 Jarkes
Discord was checking the status on Power Ponies Online when he noticed something odd... "That's strange..." He mused. "It seems the release date for this was mistakenly set for a month from now, and that's what was sent to most of our customers except for a few of them... No wonder we haven't gotten much... Well, I'll just send out a correction e-mail..." He typed out a correction and clicked "Send to All Customers."
*the next day*
Rainbow Dash logged into Power Ponies Online again, hoping that more people would be showing up. Much to her delight, this time around, the server was PACKED with tons of players.
She grinned. "Now THAT'S more like it!"
-------
Chrysalis called up Sombra. "I don't know what happened, but suddenly in just one day our profits went up nearly 700% from how they were yesterday! We're back in business!"
"Yes, Discord was just telling me that mistakes had been made somewhere down the line," Sombra replied, smiling. "We'd best make sure something like that doesn't happen again."
Session 87.11 Ardashir
"How did it happen, anyway?" Chrysalis voice contained nothing but confusion, a rarity for her. "I told Thorax and Pharynx and the rest of my staff to make sure of the date."
"Someone put the wrong date down, and I'm about to find out who." The smile faded from Sombra's face as he turned to look at the slowly opening door to his office. In a voice like some fantasy Dark Lord inviting his failed servants to their doom, he said, "Come in, gentlemen."
"Uh, s-sure, boss," said the first, a grossly obese balding man wearing a Hawaiian shirt so loud it must have violated local noise ordinances. He smiled, showing a set of awful teeth. Sombra forced himself not to flinch. "Eh, is this about that teensy-weensy little mistake about the release date for the latest game?"
"However did you guess, Mister Sludge?" Sombra asked in a chilly voice.
"I'm sure I gave everyone the correct date," Zephyr Breeze said, looking even more worried than his supervisor Sludge. "The fifth of December..." He gave a yelp as Sludge gave him a dope slap.
"It was the fifth of this month, ya dope!" He jumped and yelled as Zephyr displayed exceptional nerve by turning and stomping on his foot. As Sludge hopped and swore, clutching his injured foot, Zephyr quickly said, "You told me it was next month!"
"Enough!" They froze. Sombra stood up and stalked around the desk. As he slowly smiled, Sludge and Zephyr both began to shiver. "Gentlemen, I am most upset. However, since my wife recently had our first child, I am feeling exceptionally merciful. So you will NOT be losing your jobs." As they began to smile in relief, he said, "Report to Miss Chrysalis. I'm sure she will find some job more suited to your total lack of talents."
Sombra smiled as Sludge and Zephyr left the room, only to begin arguing with each other again.
***
Meanwhile, back beyond the mirror:
"What! You mean we have to put up with Sludge, now? Why won't Ember take him back?" Starlight stomped her hoof. Twilight winced as the angry mare said, "That miserable fat slob tossed me out a window -- right in the middle of my bath!"
"Ember says he's a disgrace to dragonkind, and if he went back they'd punish him in some horrible fashion," Twilight said, walking towards one of the classrooms. "She said he might learn something about how to behave better here. I have to agree. We managed to get through to Discord, after all."
Starlight's eyes went wide. She froze as they reached the door to the classroom. "You cannot be serious. HIM? Studying friendship? HERE?!?"
"Oh, come on," Twilight said. "We know his tricks now. Garble's gotten better, and he wanted to rob and kill ponies at one time. How much trouble can one overweight lazy slob of a dragon be?"
"Come on, Little Joe!" Twilight and Starlight froze as the door opened. "Sludgey needs a new pair of claws!"
Both mares stared to see Sludge on the floor of the classroom with several of Twilight's new royal guards. The stallions looked dismayed, with a pile of their helmets and armor sitting before the pudgy Sludge along with a small mound of bits. The Student Six looked on, with most curious and Smolder just disgusted. Sludge threw the dice in his claws and whooped with glee.
"Hah! I made the point! Fork 'em over, boys!" The Guards began stripping off their horseshoes and tossing them down before the dragon. Sludge said to the students. "See? Now here's a valuable lesson - how to take someone to the cleaners."
Starlight said nothing. She just glared at Twilight.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay! Like you never made a mistake."
Session 87.12 Mtangalion
Starlight Glimmer trotted cheerfully through the halls of the Friendship Gaming Academy, closing in on her target, while carefully avoiding any students who might need actual guidance counseling and thus delay her… just for a little while. “Good morning, Spike!” she called out, as the young dragon flew past. “Hey, is that a loose scale?”
Spike tried to look at his own back and wound up flying around in circles. “Whoa, you’re right. Thanks! I have to look my best while I’m filling in for Rarity!” He casually plucked the loose old scale off and tossed it away.
Starlight caught the scale in her magic before it hit the floor, and hurried around a corner. “One sample from Spike, check.” She pulled a shirt out of her saddlebag, making a disgusted face at the food and drool stains. “One sample from… ugh, Sludge.”
She trotted into her office, shutting and locking the door, then grinned at the parchment on her desk. “And one genealogy spell, copied from the Archives!” She lit her horn and focused her energy. It wasn’t really necessary to knead her forehooves together too, but a little bit of maniacal glee never hurt anypony. “I don’t know why Twilight didn’t just cast this spell in the first place. I mean, sure, under Equestrian law it’s technically illegal to do this without the prior consent of all parties, but well, why wouldn’t you save Spike from having his heart jerked around like that? And it’s not as if petty rules really apply to a princess. She’d probably thank me if I told her!”
By now, the spell matrix was charged and ready to go, so Starlight let the magic fly. It danced across the scroll, spinning the scale and shirt in the air. Sparks flashed, scorching letters and words directly onto the parchment. “Ooh, these old self-coding spells are pretty flashy.”
Then Starlight translated the text from Middle-Ponish, and her brow furrowed. “Results inconclusive? Seriously?” More text began to appear, like reappearing disappearing ink. “Diagnostic error 47a… these old self-coding spells are useless! I could write a better spell myself. In fact, I will!”
Starlight started to trot away, but then she noticed that the spell hadn’t entirely discharged… Spike’s scale was still glowing and hovering in the air, chiming at regular intervals. “Huh, that’s odd…” She read through the whole spell again. “Oh! 47a means it wasn’t shielded properly. Another resonance is interfering with the primary result… but that means...” Her eyebrows shot up. “Spike has a blood sibling, right here at the school!?”
She opened the door of her office, glancing around casually. Off to the left, Garble was figuratively grilling Rainbow Dash, something about a magic shield and welching on a bet. “Spike and Garble, brothers? I could kinda see that…” To the right, Gallus was begging Smolder to share the cheat codes for Dragon Egg Endless Brawler. “On the other hoof, Smolder has had a lot of big sisterly advice for Spike…” Starlight racked her brains, trying to remember how many other young dragons attended the school… and accidentally bumped right into Twilight.
Twilight glared at her. “I don’t know what you did, but I can tell you’re up to something.”
Starlight grinned, sweating a bit. “Rutabaga flowers are better than apples?”
Twilight just sighed. “You know, maybe I *should* get Alisa to replace me so I can go on a long vacation.” She summoned the list of Things That Starlight Glimmer is Not Allowed to Do With Magic. “Okay, start talking.”
Session 87.13 Mtangalion
Twilight slumped into her big new swivel chair in the Headmare’s office, and didn’t resist when it spun in a full circle before coming to rest. “Okay, what’s all this about again?”
Garble stood up, snorting a lick of flame and pointing a claw at Rainbow Dash. “Professor Raindork here made a bet with me, then just flew off, so she should totally give me my gorge board back!”
Rainbow groaned. “We were kinda busy, you know, saving the Pillars from Limbo! Spike and I had to get that shield! Besides, I don’t even have the shield any more.” She turned her nose up, waving a hoof. “You can go to Canterlot and ask Flash Magnus, but I’m sure he’ll tell you that the shield is his property, not yours.”
Twilight massaged her temples. “I understand that, but did you really cheat Garble in a bet, Rainbow? That’s not very honest.”
Rainbow nearly fell out of her chair. “But… what… he’s… !”
Garble growled thoughtfully, then grinned darkly, kneading his claws. “I know how you could make it up to me.”
“Storm jewels?” asked Twilight. The three of them had flown to a mountain peak near Canterlot, so Rainbow could bring pitch dark storm clouds over to a place where Garble could stand. “Those actually existed?”
Garble grinned. “Duh, of course they did! Pegalopolis used to give them to dragons all the time to make treaties and stuff. Don’t you ponies remember anything? That wasn’t even a thousand years ago.”
“Oh, I remember,” said Rainbow, dropping another dead tree into the firepit she’d dug. “I had to study up on all that stuff when I joined the Wonderbolts.”
Twilight blinked. “So, what happened?”
Rainbow shrugged “Eh, they stop shining after a month unless a pegasus keeps them charged. Some dragons got greedy and kidnapped pegasi to do it, there was nearly a huge war… This had better not come back and bite me in the flank. Okay kid, light it up, hot as you can make it.”
Garble grinned darkly. “Not a problem. You flammable little ponies had better stand back, though!” He sucked in a huge breath, then breathed flame on the pile of wood, incinerating it right down to ash, and then he kept flaming until the whole pile of carbon glowed lava-red, then almost white.
At the same time, Rainbow Dash spread her wings, calling up blasts of wind that made Twilight yelp and shield herself. Rainbow bucked her stormcloud repeatedly, panting and wiping sweat from her brow. Bolt after bolt of lightning blasted the pile of carbon, until a brilliant flickering light shone through the dust cloud.
Garble gasped, then picked up a large clear gem, still hot enough to burn a pony’s hoof in moments. “You actually did it,” he breathed, slit-pupiled eyes drinking in the tiny bolts of lightning that constantly danced within the gem. “Garble likes it a lot. Garble WANT…”
The young red dragon seized up, and began growing alarmingly, bigger, stronger, looming over the two ponies. He got about twice as large before he suddenly roared “No!” and punched himself in the jaw. Garble toppled over, wheezing and shrinking back slowly. “Ugh… that was close! Hey! If I do that again, hit me, okay?”
Rainbow’s eyes grew wide. “You… want us to punch you? I’d be happy to, but I’d probably break my hoof.”
“Then use lightning or magic,” barked Garble. “Duh.”
Dash flew over to him cautiously. “What gives? I thought a dragon like you would love getting enormous and stompy.” She chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck. “I won’t lie, I’ve been big before and it was pretty awesome.”
Garble snorted. “You ponies, having everything super easy with your pony magic. Only an elder dragon can control his greed enough to stay huge without… ugh, going feral.” He looked away, aimlessly digging furrows with his toe claws. “Maybe that was cool ten thousand years ago. Who needs brains when you’re the biggest dragon with the best hoard, right? But nowadays? It’s super embarrassing! So when a baby dragon starts doing that in the Dragon Lands, a bigger dragon just smacks them down and that’s that.”
Twilight had a scroll and quill in her magic, and she was scribbling like mad to get all that written down. “There’s probably another lesson here, about learning about dragons by actually talking to dragons, instead of just reading about them.” She smiled. “I almost wish I could send all this knowledge back in time to my younger self, so she’d know it when she raised Spike.”
Rainbow smirked. “I’m sure Starlight could…”
“Almost!”
Session 87.14 Ardashir
"Hey, guys!" Dash sent a message off to her friends. "I'm right here in Power Ponies Online! Waiting for some company too. I can't wait to start making things tough for the good guys, Mwua-ahaha!" She grinned as spluttered laughter and groans of disgust came from the connection.
"Okay, Dash," Sunset said as she joined the site. "What are you so delighted about -- 'making things tough for the good guys'?"
"Aren't we usually good guys in these things?" Applejack's twang sounded over the connection. "We're kinda used to it."
"That's what I mean," Dash responded. She glanced over at her pile of old Mare-vel Comics. "This game lets you be a villain. Hey, we fought plenty of villains. Why not fight as them for once?" She glanced at a list of player choices for character customization. "Besides, it's the only way to get some of the cool powers."
"Like what?" Sunset asked, sounding wary even over the link.
"Like mind control," Dash ignored Sunset's squawk of despair as she eagerly put in a name for her character and chose the power set. "Hah! I've faced it so often, now I can find out what it feels like to turn everyone inta my own personal mind-whammied zombies." She laughed and rubbed her hands. "Now the world will learn to fear the power of -- HEDLOK!"
"Seriously?" Sunset's voice was utterly deadpan. "That's what you're going with as a villain name? Can't you pick something less, I don't know, painfully 90's Dark Age?"
"Okay, Miss Element of Trust, who are you going to be?" Dash huffed, hands on hips.
"Well, if we're going to be supervillains, let me see, hmm... So I can pick light and sound powers? Well, well, then!" Dash flinched a little as a faint reminder of Sunset Satan's voice came through the link. She blinked when Sunset's choice was rejected. "What the heck? 'No disco-relate dreferences allowed for villains in game'? Why the heck wouldn't they allow that?"
Dash chimed in.
"And who designed that in?"
***
At the Crystalsoft Offices:
Adagio Dazzle smirked to see who's choice had been rejected. Beside her, Aria frowned.
"Like, haven't you gotten over that, yet?" Aria shook her head. "We only had to be disco back-up singers for a year. And we did get to start that riot at Disco Demolition Night."
She jumped back as a wild-eyed Adagio wheeled on her.
"Nothing will ever remove the stain from my vocal cords!" Adagio shuddered. "I still remember singing that stupid duck song. Urrgh!" She smiled at the screen. "I helped kill Disco once -- and I'll stop it from tainting the image of villainy and evil again." She leaned back, hands folded behind her head. "So I guess even I've done a good deed. Hah!"
Session 87.15 Kendell2
"So the plot of this game is an alien invasion and we're supposed to stop it... simple enough," said Twilight. "Simple enough."
"That's not the point! The point is you can make totally insane guns!" Rainbow Dash replied, their characters currently at the prep area making their weapons. Twilight had never played and thus only had the basics. "Like this!"
Twilight blinked, looking at the gigantic gun that looked like she'd taken an entire armory and slapped it together into a single gun. "That is the most impractical thing I've ever seen..."
"I know! It's stupid, but it's stupid awesome!" said Rainbow as they entered the next room. "That's the entire point of this game! Making big stupid awesome weapons!"
"I see...is that why 90 percent of the dialog is jokes?"
"Yep..."
Twilight then looked at the box. "...Wait, how did you get a human world game without me knowing?"
"Human Rarity in exchange for some gemstones."
"...How do you know human Rarity?"
Rainbow Dash pointed to Twilight's computer where the human versions of them were clearly visible.
Twilight blushed. "Oh, yeah...right...How many jewels did you give her to make her willingly order THIS?"
Human Rarity gave a gleeful squee of a laugh as she looked at the jewel encrusted dress she'd made purely for the fashion of doing so.
"Enough."
"...We never mention how valuable jewels are over there to Garble."
"Agreed..." said Rainbow Dash as her character turned away from the shop workdesk with a gun firing spike balls, saw blades, and lava bombs. "So this is what being a mad scientist feels like."
OOC: Game is Mothergunship, which is basically 'stupid awesome gun simulator' and I love it even if I can't play it.
Session 87.16 Alex Warlorn, DianaGohan, sonicandmario826
Spike cheered, "Okay! Got the new Enchanted Comic! This one is based on the game Fire Brooch!"
Rainbow Dash snorted, "I swear, if Twilight starts fridge logicking this one, we tie her up, gag her, and put her in a closet listening to Pinkie Pie until that part of her brain shuts down."
Twilight Sparkle lectured, "'Fridge logicking' is not a word, and further more-"
"GET 'ER!"
-
Pinkie Pie said happily, "Hey you notice how this is done by JelloApocalypse? I mean how does that make any sense? You wouldn't be eating Jello during the apocalypse. I mean maybe if it was the only think you had to bake but if you had jello you'd have to also have some sugar and some baking supplies, unless it was instant jello. Which I mean isn't nearly as good as home made jello but it will do in a pinch though what you should really be pinching is a hint of cineammon and raspberry swirl chocolate nut butter. See you mix that up with some strawberry frosting and bake at about 350 degrees for 15 minutes and leave to cool then you get by far the best jello, at least best jello I've tasted. And I've tasted at least like 30 jellos and you know most of them are pretty good. There's this really nice lime and banana jello, upside down pineapple jello and yeah believe or not orange peach marrange jello. I mean was surprised too about orange peaches let alone putting them in jello but it surprisingly works really well. Oddly enough though I don't think I've ever had an apple jello which is so weird since AJ makes so many yummy snacks but she's never made an apple jello. Then again I haven't asked her to make one so I'm sure if I do she will. Ooh you think she'll make it an orange peach apple jello? I mean she is part Peach, and part Pie. OMG she's a Apple Peach Pie and she's the best so that would make the best APP. We should go to her and tell her that. "Hey AJ you're an awesome APP". Not that App from like that world you went to but the Apple Peach Pie kind of app. And-"
Twilight Sparkle was desperatley trying to pound on the closest doors to escape despite the gag and bonds around her.
Outside the closet Applejack asked, "Huh how come sugar cube can't just port out of there?"
Rainbow Dash smirked, "Oh it's a magic sealing spell circle. *holds up device* Daring Do found it and sent it to me for being so awesome/helping her out/keeping it out of enemy hands."
Fluttershy asked, "Do you really think we should be locking her in the closest for so long though?"
Rainbow Dash shrugged, "Eh it's only been ten minutes."
Applejack said, "Yeah Ten Pinkie Pie ranting on minutes which trust me ain't the same thing as normal minutes."
Rainbow Dash said, "Look just five more minutes and then she'll get the point about not being such a technical Tabitha."
Rarity replied, "Oh darling there's nothing wrong with being a Tabitha. Anyone caring such a lovely moniker as that one must have quite a lot going for them."
Applejack asked, "Is Tabitha even a name ponies have?"
Rarity nodded, "Indeed, Tabitha or "Tabby" Scoopers who writes all those lovely articles about new trends in Equestria's Fashion Gazette."
"Oh," AJ said.
Applejack then thought of something, "But doesn’t she also have earth pony str-" There was a big CRASH as the door went flying off its hinges.
Twilight roared, “RAINBOW DASH!!!!”
Rainbow could only say, “Oh shiiiiiitake mushrooms.”
AJ said, “You might want to run sugarcube.”
"You're the one who gave her the idea!"
"Blame later, run now!"
Rainbow Dash did just that as Twilight followed.
Rarity said, "Anypony reminded of that time Princess Luna attacked Princess Celestia with a toilet in revenge for not having her own throne for over a year?"
"That really happened? Rarity you should know better than to believe those tabloid stories," Fluttershy said.
Pinkie Pie hopped out of the closet. "Maybe it was true, and maybe it wasn't. And we should stop Twilight from turning Dashie into a rutabaga."
"I just wanted to save the kingdom leading my loyal army, meaning of all of you, as the Dragon Prince and save the kingdom of Herodandia from the Anti-Dragon," Spike sighed still holding the enchanted comic.
Session 87.17 Kendell2
"So what is this?" asked Fizzlepop, looking at the 'Age of Gods' game sitting before them.
The other members of the group were Twilight, Shining Armor, Trixie, Spike, and Zecora.
"It's called 'Age of the Gods,'" said Twilight. "Basically, it's like O&O but with the addition you play the gods player characters normally follow and worship and have to deal with everything that comes with that, while also playing as adventurers worshiping each other's gods, and having to stop godslaying villains with various motives from causing cataclysmic damage by killing gods willy nilly."
"And you don't have your normal gaming group because..." Trixie asked.
"Oh, because last time we played this is turned out the game was possessed by an evil god out of nowhere and we had to save the universe," Twilight replied in a too casual tone for most everyone's comfort. "Don't worry, already did every check on this version, no evil gods possessing it...and Rainbow Powers on standby."
"...You deal with that, and yet somehow you were scared enough of her to run clear across the world," said Trixie, glaring at Fizzlepop slightly.
"We didn't know she was out of Obsidian Orbs and were in a hurry to find someone who we thought could help stop Storm King," Twilight replied.
"Honestly surprised she's interested in playing a game about gods given how much she complained about the way the world treated her," the showmare replied.
Fizzlepop's face was unreadable. "...Because they tried to help me and I have no one to blame but myself for them not being able to. Hard for a god to help you when you're too hardhearted to even consider asking them for help."
Trixie for once was silent after that. As was the entire room.
"I think this game is a very good one," Zecora said, finally breaking the awkward silence. "We see everyday Celestia rise the sun. But how many times do we ever consider it, that being a god is more than just on a throne you sit."
"And it'll help me understand Cadence more," said Shining, to Fizzlepop's confusion seeming far more comfortable with her presence than Trixie.
"Alright, who wants to go first?" Twilight asked.
Session 87.18 Ardashir
"I will!" Trixie said, or rather announced. She jumped up in her chair and dramatically beat one hoof against her chest. "Trixie already knows what she wants to be the goddess of."
"This should be good," Tempest muttered. She didn't notice Trixie's smirk as she added, "Goddess of illusions, here we come --"
"Trixie is going to be Tempestas, the Goddess of Storms and Lightning!" As she spoke a small and thankfully illusionary storm cloud appeared over the table. A lightning bolt zigzagged out and lightly stung Tempest on the nose. Tempest gave a whinny and rubber her nose while Trixie said, "It is her divine duty to create the tapestry of the stormy sky and to bring the rains to the needy farmers. She is a replacement for her predecessor, who was too concerned with warfare to make a good Storm God."
"Okay..." Twilight said, blinking in surprise. "Er, why that choice? That doesn't seem like something you'd want to pick. Not very, er, showy."
"Wha-aaa-at?" Trixie gaped in mock shock. "Must everypony think the worst of the Great and Humble Trixie?" She put on a wounded look as she turned to her fellow players. None of them looked convinced. She snorted. "Very well. Because this way Trixie is both indispensable to anyone who has worshippers who need to grow crops."
"That sounds like her," Tempest's smirk faded as Trixie gave her a too innocent smile.
"Also, this way Trixie can imagine how she will make the old Storm King -- I mean God's, worshipers, work to earn her rewards." She set her muzzle on folded hooves and kept smiling at Tempest. "Can anypony guess who her new chief worship er is?"
Session 87.19 Alex Warlorn
Princess Twilight Sparkle was surprised to find an aquatic pony in a water ball wanting to see her in her office, she was even more surprised who it was.
"Electra?"
"Hello Princess Twilight... it's been a long time, even longer since you visited Aquastria."
"A... lot has happened since then."
"Yes I can see that. And I can see the fakers, I mean, hippogriffs here as well."
"... I am fully aware of the bad blood between the merponies and hippogriffs."
"... And I'll admit, it might have been my fault... I always taught young merponies that they shouldn't have to lean on others to accomplish their dreams. Be proud of what you are, don't change for anybody."
"'And merponies are better than seaponies?'"
"I never said I was perfect... Rainbow Dash saved me during the race, I'm not used to asking for help. Or having to thank someone, and I want to say, thank you for taking in Princess Wave Dancer. For accepting us as much as the rest. Even if I think you're kooky for wanting to open a friendship school when it's your people that have produced the most villains."
Twilight Sparkle cringed. "Well... we've been trying our hardest. I'm worried about Wave Dancer to be honest. I think she's almost SAD Cozy Glow got sent to Tartarus, and she put Wave Dancer in a block of ice!"
"What?! Why?!"
"She was the first pony to pay attention to her on their own. I think she plays up how much she doesn't like hippogriffs just so ponies will pay attention to her."
Session 87.20 Mtangalion
Silversteam turned her head slowly, looking all around the Cutie Map room. "Whoa... I can't believe we're really playing O&O HERE, with Headmare Twilight and her brother!"
Smolder fanned her wings lazily as she reread her character sheet. "Do we still get a passing grade, even if we don't defeat Lord Blackhoof?"
Gallus leaned back and put his paws up on the crystal table. "Relax, it's not that serious." He hesitated, looking to Sandbar. "It's not that serious, is it?"
Yona leaned towards the table thoughtfully. "You know, if map powered on, Gallus would be crushing Vanhoover!"
Shining cleared his throat. "No, no, sneaking around Lord Blackhoof's tower isn't serious at all. Except... for the patrolling guard!" He rolled a D20. "Who just walked in and saw you all!"
Ocellus gasped. "I cast Monster Summoning II, and call forth... er, um... a bugbear!" Unexpectedly, blue flames flashed and the young changeling actually *became* a bugbear. "Rawr, garglegargle!!"
Most of the young students yelped, falling out of their seats and scrambling for cover, but Twilight pulled out a pinch of leftover illusion-dispelling powder and flung it, turning Ocellus back to normal. Twilight grinned. "Huh. Usually, I only have to remind *unicorns* that in O&O we only cast spells with our imagination."
Shining Armor smirked. "Says the filly who brought all of my O&O miniatures to life one time."
Twilight blushed. "Hey! I lost one of your rulebooks and sorta panicked, okay? There were important rules that potentially weren't being followed! Rules! Not being followed!"
The students watched, suitably awed... and started scribbling in their notebooks.
"Seriously?" asked Twilight.
Session 87.21 Mtangalion
In a peaceful grassy meadow, fenced in by ancient stone walls and decorative hedges, Spike the Dragon suddenly appeared in a flurry of bright sparkles and dropped to the ground on all fours. “Whoa, so this is ‘Pyro’s Dragon Adventure?’” A second small dragon appeared the same way, pink-scaled with purple fins and wings. “Looking pretty sharp there, Starlight!”
Starlight the Dragon sat back on her haunches and lifted a foot, wiggling her claws. “Thanks, I think.” She pawed at a floating gemstone, then grinned when it flew towards her, adding points to the score numbers over her head. “These new enchanted comic video games are really something! I feel bad for anypony who owns stock in GameColt these days…”
“But, mom!” pleaded Button Mash.
Button’s mom put her hoof down. “You can play after dinner for one hour, Button. I’m not having you literally vanish into another world when there’s homework to be done.”
A bronze dragon with golden fins tapped a claw impatiently. “There ya are, Rainbow Dash! Took ya long enough.”
A sky-blue dragon with iridescent wings, fins, and underbelly scales strutted, striking a pose. “Sorry AJ, I was back on the character screen, putting all my points in speed. Aw, yeah!”
Not far away, Spike was once again trying to stand on two legs like he always did, and face-planting in the glass. “Ugh, this game makes no sense! Young dragons go on all fours, and grownup dragons walk on two? That’s totally backwards!”
Starlight rolled her eyes. “Spike… I’m asking this as a friend, but... is it just maybe possible that being raised by Twilight has made you prone to overthinking things sometimes?”
Spike was struggling to write on a scroll with claws adapted for running on all fours. “What were you saying, Starlight? I was busy making a list of things to complain to the author about. Like, why can I only jump and glide here, when I can fly between different game areas just fine?”
Starlight sighed. “It’s a game mechanic, Spike. It wouldn’t be much of a challenge if you just flew over all the puzzles, would it?”
“And where am I hoarding one hundred and forty-eight gems? Why doesn’t that cause greed growth?”
“Video game!”
“And those grownup dragons are way bigger and stronger than me! Why don’t they go defeat Dodgy Diamond Dog?”
Starlight grabbed Spike, glaring at him snout to snout. “Repeat after me: It’s just a game, I should really just relax!”
Spike groaned. “But…”
Starlight pointed. “Besides, he’s obviously not having any issues with game logic.”
Garble charged after a flock of sheep, bashing several metal chests open with his skull along the way. “Hah, yes! I may be shrimpy, but I can burn anything I want and no dumb ponies are gonna stop me!”
Spike sighed and smirked. “Well, when in Roam…”
Session 87.22 Alex Warlorn
*Spoilers, Nightmare Knights #2*
Adagio, "FINALLY! I thought they were never going to let us into this place!" Adagio grinned.
"It's so pretty!" Sonata giggled.
"We don't have money to gamble away Adagio, and how are we even going to bid on godlike power with these nasties around?" Aria asked.
"Oh please, remember? We have fortunes to draw on from our thousands of years alive on Earth!"
Meanwhile the villainous Sunset Shimmer bumped into a mare in a blue cloak, "Out of my peon!"
"I!~ Uh! Apologizes oh great one!"
"That's right!" Sunset said sticking her nose up and trotting along.
Sunset Shimmer Prime looked back in shock. "Okay, I knew following the sirens here was going to be weird but... I didn't expect to see ME here... And why is she talking with an evil version of Starlight Glimmer? From what Twilight told me, she was the communist to my 'law of the jungle'."
Session 87.23 Ardashir
Sunset-Prime soon overheard why those two were getting along.
"So I tell them I'm taking their talents to 'build a better and more equal Equestria', but I don't tell them I can call on any of the locked away talents whenever I have to," Evil-Starlight told Evil-Sunset, smirking all the while.
"So you'll be superior to everypony else?" Sunset asked with a snort fulled with contempt. "I figured you for a hypocrite; that must be why I like you!"
"What? No!" Evil-Starlight looked aggrieved, putting her ears back. "After I conquer -- I mean, liberate all Equestria, someone will need to be able to use Celestia and Luna's talents to maintain the day-night cycle. And being able to use any of hundreds of special talents will make that easier." She sighed. "I'm still trying to figure out how to do the same with my loyal followers. Imagine, an army where every soldier can do anything they need to be able do, whether they know it or not!"
The two mares looked delighted at the idea, as did a nearby stallion who looked overly geeky with pimples and thick eyeglasses.
"Bah! Small-timers!"
"What was that?" Evil-Sunset wheeled on him with a snort. "Who are you, tough guy, and how did you get in here?"
"I'm from the biggest game company in my Equestria..." Evil-Poindexter started to say. As the two mares rolled their eyes in scorn, he finished with, "And in my world I invented microtransactions!"
Stats
Page generated in 0.034 seconds
Total duration
1,043 users online
2,219,680 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
If Dash got on the game on supposed release day but noon else was there, wouldnt that give her an advantage in being able to go round all the areas as muich as she could, given speed, finding out where locations, items and NPC interactions were, without being slowed down by other players the first day?
Yeah that sounds about right.
Well damn. That about takes the cake for "Greatest Villain of any Reality/Timeline."
9314514
Logically yes, but the point of an MMO is other people.
9314582
Thank you for the comments dude!
Can Twilight Fridge Logic dirty mags?
9314782
If you want to write her doing that.
Loved the Spyro segment. Hope Reignited Trilogy comes to PC someday.
9314671
Hard to beat microtransactions for villainy.
Now, I'm not supporting her methods in any way here, but... why is that end goal bad again?
No really, she basically plans on giving EVERYONE phenomenal cosmic powers, HOW IS THAT EVIL?!
9315355
because when everyone can do it nothing is special they basically covered this in The Incredibles movie when syndrome said when everyone's special no one is.
9315471
Everyone would still have their own personalities, and thus their own way of USING those powers... that would retain their special-ness right?
9315355
Because they'd only have those phenomenal cosmic powers as long as they were taking Starlight's orders and doing whatever she commanded.
9316273
Ah, the UNspoken part of her goals... yep, that would ruin the deal all right.
9316052
I don't think you understand it's not their personality that would be the same it's that they would all be exactly alike and everything but personally same power or same abilities same degree of a difficulty I'm saying that basically it'll be like having a thousand of yourself in a single town and being like wow this this is kind of stupid and you have to take into account Alicorns earn their power they're not given their power for free. Also the thing is that personality doesn't factoring in a way on the how they use the magic it's use the exact same way actually just seemingly used differently because they are all using different powers not the exact same also just because the personality is there doesn't mean that personality affects them also we saw how everyone in starlight's the village it was affected before they regain their cutie marks they weren't actually all that different in personality-wise they're almost carbon copies of each other the very few ones who were different were those who were more than likely only had their cutie marks taken away much more recently.
I particularly like the Sludge pieces here. Since Sludge's custody was resolved through playing Ace Attorney, technically they did resolve important matters through a game once again.
I always figured Sludge would turn out to be Garble's father, and I'm curious to see how those two will interact.
9317935
Sludge as Garble's father? There's an idea, we just have to see if anyone does use it.
Though Garble at least seems to be a lot more energetic than Sludge.
9317935
Solving things with games seems to be a running theme, huh?
And yeah, Sludge being Garble's father would be interesting, though ironically even Garble is more of a dragon than Sludge.
9324492
Ah, I see. Well, looking forward to getting up to date on this and see where you folks have taken things, even if I was a ways off the mark at this point.