• Published 2nd Sep 2015
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Ponies and Dragons (Just Have Fun) - Alex Warlorn



A peek at various times of the Mane Six, Spike, and friends, all play Dungeons and Dragons/Ogres and Oubliettes, Paranoia, Call of Ponythulu, Toon, an adaption of themselves, and just about every other role playing game under Celestia's sun.

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Session 24

Session 24.0 Mooncalf99

Dragon Lord Ember flared her wings at the last possible moment, halting her descent just enough to land dramatically on the soft soil of Ponyville without crashing completely. After all, the line between 'badass' and 'dumbass' could be claw-thin.

Around her, the little ponies looked at her with… approval, meaning she pulled off her move successfully. Not fear, though. That was actually kind of nice - much as it was a nice ego boost to see others cower before her, it was a big hindrance to actually dealing with them in a sensible manner.

She vaguely recalled a lot of running and panicking and cowering on her first visit, but then again, she had been pretty rambunctious. For reasons. If she ever saw those sirens again… I'm the flaming Dragon Lord, dammit! Not some just-hatched shellhead you can string along like a fool!

Ember noticed that the ponies were starting to edge away and give her funny looks. I didn't say that out loud, did I? No, probably not, but she still probably looked weird, just standing around there for no reason. Putting on her most nonchalant look, she started walking towards the castle. After all, she had a legitimate reason to be here this time.

A stupid reason, admittedly.



"Dad, you can't tell me what to do! I'm the flaming Dragon Lord! You said you wouldn't question my authority anymore!"

"I'm still your father! And you said you wanted to rule with… wit and intelligence and reason… and all that stuff. Doesn't that mean listening to others?"

"Ugh, fine. But why do I have to learn some old game?"

"It's a vital part of your draconic heritage."

"If it's that important, why didn't you ever tell me about it before?"

"..."

"This is because of your stupid rivalry with the old Dragontown snake, isn't it?"

"...No."

"You're just burning because he kept beating you every time."

"No, it's not. And he didn't."

"Then why are you binging on a big tub of quartz?"

"Shut up."


Still, he had one point right… dad was dad. For all her rebellious teenage spirit, it was difficult to say no straight to his face. Not to mention he outweighed her by a few thousand times.

And all she had to do was to learn a game, which couldn't be too hard. And she'd get to 'hang out' with Spike, which was… curiously satisfying in ways her dragon upbringing couldn't quite explain. Even without factoring in the mating urge (All sirens need to die screaming and on fire), it just felt good to have him within sight. This 'friendship' was curious.

You would think that reaching the castle would be easy enough, what with it towering over the town and gleaming in the sunlight like the biggest buffet in the world. But no, for some inane reason the ponies had seen fit to build their funny-looking 'houses' (What, not enough caves around here?) everywhere and they kept getting in her way. To say nothing of the ponies themselves, running everywhere. She could take to the air, but she was drawing enough attention as it were.

"...Just goes to show, properly written villains don't really consider themselves 'evil'," a voice said from somewhere behind her. A familiar voice. An irritatingly familiar voice.

She turned around. Sure enough, that pink-haired Dragontown lizard… Meeny? Miny? Mina? Yes, that's the one. Flaming anarchist. ...was strolling along, too engrossed in a conversation with a blue unicorn to notice her.

"Obviously," the unicorn said. "Good and evil have positive and negative connotations respectively, and nopony would support a cause they believe to be objectively wrong. Whatever you believe, you think it's right and just."

"Subjectively, yeah," Mina said. "Nightmare Moon genuinely believed in bringing about the eternal night, the Seven Silver Talons believed that resurrecting their master would bring about a new golden age, you genuinely believed that the princess deserved everything you'd do to her…"

What the blazes are they talking about?

"Oh, absolutely. I still support the idea of taking her down a peg now and then," the unicorn said proudly. "Keeps her grounded, you know. She's prone to losing her head without sensible ponies around."

"And that's where you come in, right?" Mina replied, grinning oddly. "So tell me, why does that friend of yours always bring up how she used to be 'utterly evil' before? Even when no one asks?"

"She… doesn't want to forget her mistakes," the unicorn said, suddenly glum. "She thought she was right, then she realized she wasn't. But a lot of things she believed in still feels as though they could have been right, and she's still trying to come to terms with everything. So she reminds herself that some things are just obviously bad and wrong."

"That's so cool and multi-faceted," Mina said. "Okay, so there's no such thing as an irredeemable villain, but what about the opposite? Could any hero…"

What is this? They're just prattling on and on and don't even notice me! "Hey!" she yelled, exhaling a modest but noticeable burst of flame in their direction.


That caught their attention. The unicorn jumped a little and dropped into a defensive stance for a moment, while Mina just turned her head sharply and looked at her. Then she frowned. "Well, well. Hello, 'Dragon Lord'," she intoned sarcastically. For some reason, that caused the unicorn to break into giggles. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same," Ember replied icily. Well, icily for someone with an internal temperature high enough to melt steel. "You're a long way from Dragontown."

"I'm visiting friends," Mina said dismissively. "Just, you know, hanging out, having fun, taking it easy. Not that it's any of your business because," she grasped her face in her claws with an exaggerated expression of surprise, "oh yeah, it *is* none of your business!"

Ember bit back her reply as she felt an unpleasant fire burn in her gut. She would admit that she had given a poor impression the first time they met, although that was the fault of the sirens if anything. On the other claw, Mina seemed determined to rub their independence in her face, and that just fired her frill.

Not to mention her casual mention of having friends, as though she - unlike Ember herself - knew everything about friendship, as though she was a pony herself.

Which actually made her feel a little envious…

Hang on, I can't sympathize with this troublemaker! Besides, she's not relevant. I'm here to see Spike and his mahjong teacher, remember? "Well, my business is none of your… business…" That sounded lame. "But I'm here to see Spike. And his mentor."

"Mentor?" the unicorn asked. "You mean Twilight?"

"No, not the princess," Ember corrected. "His mentor in mahjong. I'm here to find tutelage."

The unicorn made a strange face. "Ehh? I didn't hear anything about this. Anyway, he's in Canterlot right now."

"Canterlot?" Ember asked. She tried to recall the name. Oh, right, that place where their princesses have their caves… uh, castles. "Why?"

"I don't know, Twilight took him along for something," the unicorn replied, looking a bit annoyed at the question. "Maybe she told Starlight, but I could hardly care less. Is it important?"

"I'm here to learn mahjong," Ember clarified. "I was told that Spike was being tutored by a dragon named…" What was it again? Some weird neighponese name… oh, right. "Kokushi Muso. I was hoping they would agree to teach me as well." At least, that's what dad wants.

"Kokushi Muso?" Mina repeated in surprise. She glanced at the unicorn. "I, uh, didn't expect you to know who that is. And… it's a dragon, you say?"

"You didn't know?" Ember said with a smirk. "It was your grandfather who recommended them."

"Grandpa, right," Mina said, not sounding too convinced. "Because, you see--"

The unicorn suddenly laid her hoof on Mina's shoulder, interrupting her mid-sentence. "That sounds very interesting! Why don't we go to the castle and see if you can get started right away?"



Ember looked around at the crystal walls and felt increasingly antsy. She really, really shouldn't have skipped breakfast this morning. Now she was in a place entirely made of delicious minerals, and it all looked so tempting, but she was certain that eating a castle constituted a declaration of war. Besides, Spike lived here, so he was obviously able to control himself or the place would have been gone a long time ago. Unless the walls magically grew back and she could just dig in and no bad Ember that's stupid don't even think stupid things like that that's what stupid dragons do.

Besides, Mina was perfectly chill with the place, and she'd be burned before she lost face to her.

They were currently seated around a small square table in one of the very many rooms of the castle, and the blue unicorn was fussing with a lacquered box which Ember recognized as a mahjong set. They had been joined by another unicorn, a purple one who had introduced herself as 'Starlight Glimmer', the personal student of Princess Sparkle. However, the mysterious Kokushi Muso remained absent.

"Are you sure you want me to play as well, Trixie?" Starlight asked, finally assigning a name to the bossy unicorn. "I'm not very good, after all."

"Then you need more practice," Trixie replied. "And we need a fourth player."

"I thought I'd get to meet Kokushi Muso," Ember said. For possibly the fifth time so far.

"So we'll play," Trixie said, opening the box and spreading the polished quartz tiles across the table, shuffling them around. Ember was beginning to realize that the blue unicorn simply didn't listen to anything she didn't care to hear. Nor did she respect authority. Or show even the slightest expected amount of fear in the face of a dragon.

This pony is utterly insane, Ember thought in horror.

"I am the east wind, and Ember will be the west. Mina, Starlight, you are north and south." Trixie stopped shuffling the tiles and began arranging them into a wall. Mina and Starlight joined in from the sides, and Ember quickly took the cue and built her own. "Ember, are you at least familiar with the basics?"

"Of course," Ember said, a bit offended by the implication from this rude pony. After all, her father had explained all the rules to her. It had been very terse, but she had memorized everything perfectly.

"Good, good… hmm…" Trixie looked at her thoughtfully and stopped building the wall.

And suddenly an overwhelming feeling of sheer dread came over Ember, making her draw back. It was as though she stood before a great terrifying dragon poised to destroy her… except it was just this weird pony staring at her. She realized that Starlight was similarly affected… whereas Mina wasn't. Then the feeling subsided and disappeared as soon as it had come.

Trixie nodded. "As expected. You're a dragon, so you have some natural mahjong power, but you're dreadfully untrained."

"Wh… what was that?!" Ember gasped. "Did you use pony magic on me?!"

"Mahjong power, duh," Mina scoffed.

This is too much! Ember stood up. "I've had enough of this! I came here to be taught by a great mahjong master, and you--"

The feeling of dread came over her again, and this time it hit her in the stomach like a sledgehammer. The unicorn towered over her, monstrous and terrifying far beyond what any non-alicorn pony should have been allowed to be. "Sit. Play. Learn."

Ember dutifully fell back into her seat. Her legs seemed to be full of molten lava, or some other fluid substance that couldn't support her properly.

"And now we'll break the wall," Trixie said, back to her ordinary - ordinary for her, at least - self. She spun a pair of small dice in her hoof and rolled them, counting the walls before coming to a stop on Mina's. She rolled again, counted along the tiles, then started doling out tiles to each player.

Ember quickly sorted out her tiles. Nothing too impressive at the moment… a pair of 1-pins, two north winds, a green 'dragon' (she had absolutely no idea what the picture was supposed to be), and a 5/6/7-pin chow. Other than that, junk. Still, she supposed she could do something with it. She'd just have to act quickly.

Trixie and Mina both discarded forgettable tiles. Then Ember drew… a north wind. Good, good. She threw away the green dragon. No reason to save that, right?

A few more tiles passed without notice. Mina discarded a 1-pin, and she took it. "Pon!" She felt good about that. Now she had three complete triplets… or whatever they were called. Just needed another, and a pair. She discarded a 7-man, and…

Wait. She needed that… other thing. Yaku. Something that made sure her claw was more than a pile of gravel. She had a wind and the 1-pin pon, so that eliminated a few options… if she kept the chow, that eliminated the 'no chows' yaku… Flaming phosphor, this claw really is pure gravel.

Next turn she drew a 6-pin and decided to break her chow. Off the 5-pin went. South wind, pass. 5-man, pass. Mina discarded an 8-pin that she could call for a chow, but that would be stupid, now wouldn't it? 4-pin, pass.

Mina discarded a west wind, which Starlight immediately claimed. Trixie seemed unperturbed by getting skipped like that. 9-pin, pass. Green dragon, pass--


"Ron!" Trixie declared decisively. She had been quiet for so long, Ember had almost forgotten about her. The sudden shout made her jump.

Great, Ember groused to herself. Well, what does she have? She never called a single tile before.

Trixie gently and carefully pushed over her tiles, one at a time. Red dragon. Green dragon. White dragon. East, west, north and south winds. 1 and 9-pin, 1 and 9-man, 1 and 9-sou. And then she snatched Ember's green dragon from the table and placed it next to her own.


"What the sulphur?" Ember asked. "That's just… none of that matches anything! That's just garbage!"

"Oh, it certainly is not," Trixie said. "Thirteen tiles, all as distant from each other as can be. And a fourteenth to set it in stone. It is the claw known as Thirteen Orphans. Or, as the dragons call it…"

"Yes…?" Ember asked at length. Trixie's silence was unbearable.

"Kokushi Muso," Mina finished.

"Kokushi Muso," Ember echoed. She stared at the blue unicorn before her, and felt herself break out in a cold sweat. She didn't even know she had sweat glands. "Kokushi Muso. Kokushi Muso?"

"Yes, Dragon Lord Ember?" Trixie replied politely.

At that point, Ember did the only thing that felt appropriate, and passed out.

"Aw, and you didn't even get to tell her that you won with the super-rare thirteen-side wait that's worth double Yakuman," Mina said.

"Hang on a moment," Starlight said, pulling up a reference sheet. "Eight… sixteen… thirty-two… thirty-two thousand from each player? None of us even have that many points."


"Uh-uh," Mina said. "On a ron, the player who discards get to foot the whole bill. So... ninety-six thousand from Ember. Pity we weren't playing for stakes..."

"I guess that means I win rather decisively, then," Trixie said modestly. "Good game. Who's up for poker?"

Session 24.1 Mtangalion

Princess Twilight beamed. "Hey, big brother! All settled in?"

Shining Armor nodded enthusiastically, following Twilight through the halls of her crystal palace. "Pinkie and Fluttershy are playing with Flurry Heart, and Cadence and Luna went off to do some princess stuff." He yawned and stretched, still working out the kinks from the long train ride. "Sure is nice, just hanging out without some crisis going on."

He noticed that Twilight was leading him to the mirror portal room. "There... isn't anything going on, is there?"

Twilight chuckled. "Well, I'd hardly call it a crisis, but maybe you can weigh in while you're here."

Just as Twilight had described in her letters, the room now housed a large assembly of crystals facing the mirror, exchanging radio signals through the portal and retransmitting the magic of the "Internet" to other human-built "computers" here in Equestria, both in Twilight's castle and far away in Canterlot. The Manehatten Institute of Technology was eager to build computers of their own, but even with a huge stack of imported engineering textbooks, they'd only gotten as far as basic logic gates, so far.

The portal itself rippled, and Sunset Shimmer stepped out. The Alicorn dropped to four hooves and kept walking without missing a beat. "Hey, Twilight." She stopped in her tracks. "Shining Armor?! How did you... Wait, you must be the *other* Shining Armor! This is kind of weird." She coughed, averting her eyes a bit. "It's okay," she murmured to herself. "He's a pony, you're a pony, it's not weird that you're seeing Shining Armor with no clothes on."

Shining blinked, flicking his ears.

"And... oh yeah, we established that ponies have better hearing than humans. Great..."

Shining Armor cleared his throat loudly. "So, Miss Shimmer... You've met the human me?"

"That's right!" said Sunset quickly. "We play different games with him and his tabletop gamer pals, or sometimes with him and Cadence. At least, we used to... they're pretty busy with the baby these days."

Shining chuckled. "Heh, tell me about it."

Sunset grinned. "Okay, the thing is... their baby can pony up. I mean, how does that even happen? The Sirens swear they had nothing to do with it, but..."

Shining twitched. "That was just an expression. Please don't tell me about it."

"Okay..." Sunset coughed. "So, Twilight! You wanted to show me something?"

Twilight smirked. "Uh huh." She trotted up to one of the computers, then used her magic to work the mouse and keyboard, booting up World of Horsecraft.

Shining Armor groaned at the very familiar ponies and music on the title screen. "I was hoping this whole 'Horsecraft' thing was another one of Dash and Gilda's pranks."

Sunset flicked an ear. "Sorry, did you say..."

"All those humans who are just like us ponies, actually wanting to be ponies," continued Shining. "I mean, what's next? Ponies wanting to be humans?"

"Trust me, that ship has sailed," muttered Twilight. She logged into her unicorn wizard, and after a short loading time, Real Princess appeared in her private room at the Ponyville Inn.

"There's something wrong, something deeply unsettling about these avatars," said Twilight, letting an ominous tone creep into her voice. "Something that's been hidden in plain sight the whole time we've been playing. Real Princess might look like a perfectly ordinary unicorn mare now, but if I remove all of her armor..."

Shining Armor flinched. "Whoa! Should I be seeing this?"

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "I get why that bugs me, but you're a pony. You look at naked ponies all the time."

Shining blushed. "A mare who looks like my sister undressing right in front of me is a little different... wait, where's her cutie mark?"

"Aha!" cried Twilight. "See? He noticed it right away!"

Sunset stared. "I've been playing that game for ages, and I never... Are they all like that?" She magically grabbed the mouse and rotated the camera, zooming in and checking both flanks... both definitely blank.

Shining Armor looked away hastily.

"Every pony *and* zebra I've checked," said Twilight. "Only the Celestia and Luna NPCs have cutie marks."

Sunset lifted a hoof and waved it oddly. "I've got it!" Then she looked at her raised hoof, confused.

Twilight grinned. "Are you trying to snap your fingers?"

Now Sunset was the one blushing. "Shut up! Anyway... Our characters wear armor or robes all the time, so we don't see their flanks! That's why it never occurred to me." She backed away from the computer and paced a bit, thinking. "Maybe it's for the best. Humans don't know that ponies are supposed to have cutie marks, and there's no way to give every pony in the game a unique and meaningful cutie mark anyway."

"I don't see why not," mused Shining. "When we make custom O&O characters, we just sketch whatever cutie mark we want. There's even a box for it right on the character sheet."

Sunset laughed disconcertingly. "Trust me, that would totally backfire. Games like this, in the human world? Let's just say, they attract a lot of... younger, less mature players. You'd have ponies trotting around with guns, knives, and skulls on their flanks, or curse words, or even... y'know."

Twilight blinked. "They wouldn't!"

Shining nodded. "They couldn't! The Oubliette Master would throw them out of the game."

Sunset smirked. "There's tens of thousands of anonymous players for every one GM, so you'd never catch them all. Sorry, Sparkles. They totally would."



A little later, Shining Armor excused himself and trotted down the hall, towards the bedroom where he and Cadence usually stayed on these visits. He knocked on the door, then pushed it open and entered without waiting. "Honey? I'm not so sure we should let Twilight put one of those 'Internet' terminals in our palace. I found out today that humans are a bunch of... perverts?"

Cadence and Luna were both in the bedroom, each wearing colorful knit socks on all four legs.

"Ah, noble Armor!" said Luna brightly. "I need a stallion's advice! Which of these colors do you think will be more alluring to Big Macintosh?" She posed, smiling over one shoulder.

Shining's jaw fell open. "Wha... Buh?"

Cadence's face lit up. "Why, Shiny! After all the games we've played being other species, I didn't think mere socks would be nearly kinky enough for you."

"Other species!" exclaimed Luna. "I should have thought of that myself. Many a time in ancient Equestria, I did enthrall new lovers by taking an exotic form. I must discover if Big Macintosh is concealing any such desires!"

"I might have heard a rumor or two about cross-dressing," said Cadence helpfully

Shining Armor's mane started twitching, getting more frazzled. "Internet terminal... sure, why not?"

Session 24.2 Alex Warlorn

-Meanwhile in the human world-

"So you were singing in the shower... pony-uped, and three butterflies appeared on your butt?" Rainbow Dash asked over the phone feeling very awkward.

"I can't let my family see it!" Fluttershy's voice squeaked over the phone.

"... Just pony down and it should vanish."

"Oh! I guess, but, WAIT! How do you know?!"

"... Sometimes late at night I want to be one with the music, that's all I'm saying."

-

"Oh dear company president Sombra... I just had a wonderful idea for the second expansion pack... or maybe a micro-transaction, depends how evil, I mean, creative I'm feeling. You know how players love character customization?" He didn't want to say he'd gotten the idea when this kind pink haired girl had in her Kindness helped him with his groceries after he had fallen and had gotten a (he swore on his great-grandpappy's grave) accidental! look up her skirt and seen her appear-and-disappear butterfly tattoo.

Sombra snorted, "Not now Discord. Does somebody want to explain why our forum has a thirty-eight page thread demanding pictures on pony butts? And why the main rabble rouser writes like she's likes Shakespeare way too much?"

'That must be more popular with teenagers these days than I thought.' Discord surmised.

+

"We shall not give up our crusade!" Princess Luna said sitting at the laptop from the human world connected to the world mirror.

Session 24.3 Kendell2

"Okay, I think even in our current state of mind we can all agree we will never speak of that again and it's non-canon," said Trixie, shuddering, and pretty sure she would be even if she had her own personality instead of Twilight's.

"Agreed..." said everypony.

"Ah do declare, Ah just couldn't get in character..." Applejack said, still with Rarity's personality. "Ah don't think mah character would be caught dead in a dress but Ah just couldn't help it...Rarity, darling, Ah think Ah might understand why yah love them so much."

"Oh, no problem, Applejack...but I don't think I did that bad a job with Disco Diva this time, even if some western flare seemed to be trying to snake its way in," Rarity replied. She'd actually LET HER MANE DOWN and removed her fake eyelashes.

"...I must say, I just bring myself to make Hungry have bad table manners," Pinkie Pie remarked. "It just feels...wrong..."

"And I made Wings even MORE reckless than I normally do!" Rainbow Dash said, oddly cheerfully. Her mane then deflated slightly. "I don't want to imagine the nickname he'd get in the Wonderbolts right now..."

"And that's not even thinking about me going on tangents about Bright Light's various scientific inaccuracies...and I wrote her!" Trixie lamented.

Gilda cowered, not wanting to even TALK about how things went on her turn. Her what happened when Fluttershy tried playing her eldritch abomination transforming character with her current hyper aggression.

Starlight grumbled. "Well I thought it was fun."

"You pressed every button in the control room of the spaceship we ended up on and blew it up with us in it. We only managed to keep the 'no one dies' rule by hiding in Hungry's stomach!" Trixie replied.

"Like I said, fun."

"Forget it, it's non-canon to the rest of the game!" Trixie replied. "...Discord, please tell me you've caught those things."

"I'm trying!" Discord replied, currently knee deep in Frazzits (literally). "I'm sorry!"

"...Okay...How about we just play Maijong?" Trixie suggested, trying to grab the thing she was GOOD at.

---

"..."

"Trixie, make your move already!" Fluttershy growled.

"Not yet! I'm still thinking!" Trixie replied, OVERthinking her every move while Applejack was actually CALM and paying direct attention to her pieces.

Rainbow Dash...had built a castle out of hers. Until a Frazzit knocked it down.

"Almost got them!" Discord announced...then got tackled by the remaining Frazzits causing MORE of them he'd already caught to escape the barrel. "...Now I don't...I'm sorry..."

Session 24.4 Grogar-the-oneser

"You want us to ban this complaint maker?" Discord said.

"Yes, because it's getting bloody annoying," Sombra growl. "If I hear one more Shakespeare style complaint I'm going to punch someone."

"Seriously it's like they don't seem to grasp that any ne'er-do-well can mess with their marking.... and furthermore why the flank, that's what I find weird." Chrysalis stated.

"Well good-luck she's surprisingly following the rules to a T," Discord stated.

"Too bad the game prevents corpse-camping, that player would probably quit if they have to deal with that annoyance." Scorpan chuckled but stopped as he notice the other three staring at him as if he gave each of them 500 dollars. "Err.... what did I say?"

"Chrysalis, if I make a suggestion..."

"I know what you're going to say and I am all for it," Chrysalis grinned.

"Good, Discord you think you can add that as a feature?"

"I'll just say that as a insectoids, the minions for Chrysalis expansion have the ability to swarm randomly even when you're respawning," Discord said.

"Waitaminute-"

"Excellent, meeting adjourned, nice work Scorpan," Sombra said as the three moved away.

Scorpan just sat there flabbergasted. "Oh dear.... well, hopefully it won't be too bad."

Session 24.5 Mtangalion


Princess Twilight flew up to Rainbow Dash's cloud house, not in the best of moods. "Gilda? Are you in here?" She listened to the front door and heard a loud bonk, followed by Gilda and Dash snickering and laughing their heads off. "Guess that's a yes."

"Hey, Twi!" called Dash. "Come on in!"

She found them sitting in Dash's living room, watching a moving black and white image with sound projected by a familiar violet crystal. "Gilda, I just got another complaint about you pecking somepony. You're lucky I convinced them you weren't serious."

Gilda tilted her head. "Well, of course I wasn't serious. It would take more than just one peck to split a pony's skull, even if I was really trying to... and that got awkward."

Twilight blinked. "Wait, is that the memory crystal I gave you?"

In the projected image, a rather fat griffon was waving a wooden bat, getting ready to swing, until he drew it back too far and smacked the catcher behind him in the beak. "I'm sorry, Crow! It was an accident!"

"Oh, yeah?" squawked the catcher, puffing his feathers all up and grabbing the bat. "Well, this won't be!" Dash and Gilda started laughing again.

Twilight didn't get it. "Did that first griffon just cluck like a chicken? Gilda, I asked you to record something of great cultural significance to griffons!"

Gilda grinned. "And I did! Things are really turning around in Griffonstone, and the Three Dodos is the most popular new comedy group in town. You see, Garry is the skinny one, Burly is the fat one, and Crow is the angry one. They mess everything all up, Crow gets mad, they hit each other, then the guards chase them..."

Dash nodded vigorously. "And it's hilarious!"

Twilight buried her face in her hooves. "I'm trying... I'm really trying to understand other cultures so I can be a good Princess of Friendship... but I'm not sure how I can really know griffons if I don't get the first thing about their humor."

Now the Dodos were having trouble with some kind of gadget that pitched balls... it was going out of control, forcing them to duck and hide. "I'll fix this!" declared Garry, hitting the balls with his bat. The balls that he hit broke a window, knocked the hat right off a guard, flew into another guard's open beak with a silly thunk...

And Twilight giggled, despite herself. "Okay, maybe that was a little... Oh my gosh, did you see that?" She tried not to burst out laughing, and failed. "I feel terrible for enjoying this... can we watch it again from the start?"

Session 24.6 Kendell2


The mane seven plus Trixie, Spike, and Gilda blinked, finding themselves standing in a game room...that seemed to be floating in space with various galaxies visible.

"Where are we?" Rainbow asked, looking around.

"Twilight?"

Twilight turned and saw Sunset...except she was still in HUMAN form.

"Sunset?! Why are you human?!" Twilight asked.

"Why are you a pony?!"

"Hey no fair!" Sonata pouted, standing nearby with her sisters, all three human.

"Yeah, why do you get to be back in your real bodies?" Aria asked.

"Oh, that's my doing..."

The group turned to see Discord standing nearby. "You see I came up with a fun idea..."

"And so did I!" said another Discord, standing nearby, with a group consisting of a Twilight holding a Smartypants doll, a Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Gilda wearing nightguard armor, a Rarity wearing dark blues, a Fluttershy, an Manehattenite styled Applejack, a Trixie, a unicorn Sunset who still looked aggressive and manipulative, and a Starlight Glimmer who of the group surprisingly looked the most similar to them. The sirens ALSO stood nearby, but still had their necklaces.

"And me!" said a THIRD Discord wearing a superhero outfit, standing next a Twilight who looked like a mad scientist with ADHD, an outlaw styled Applejack, a Rainbow Dash who looked more like Derpy if she was a beaten dog, an apathetic Fluttershy, a Rarity wearing a gaudy mixmatched outfit, an angry looking Pinkamena, an ALICORN Trixie, a Gilda wearing red royal guard captain armor, a generous looking Sunset Shimmer, and a confident, very fit Starlight Glimmer. Behind them stood three human Sirens who looked almost saintly in their expressions, wore white, and had BLUE necklaces.

"Hello, Discord!" said the prime Discord.

"Nice to meet you, Discord!" said Nightmare!Discord.

"Wonderful to meet you both, Discord," said Captain Goodguy. "Might I say you are both handsome devils."

"You too! Love the mask!" said Nightmare!Discord.

Princess Trixie blinked, finding her other two selves staring at her. "What?"

Both of them gently poked one of her wings. "They're real..." said Prime Trixie.

"You're me...as an Alicorn..." said Nightmare!Trixie, both staring at her like she was made of gold.

"Is this heaven?" they both asked at the same time, causing Princess Trixie to blush sheepishly.

"What's going on?!" all three Twilight's asked at once.

"Well you see, we realized we three were reformed and/or heroic Discords!" said Captain Goodguy.

Rainbow Crash gasped. "Captain Goodguy is Sir Discord?!"

"...Eh, I'll deal with that later..." said Goodguy. "So we decided to meet in THE INTERDIMENSIONAL GAMEROOM and have a multidimensional gaming tournament!"

"Interdimensional gameroom?" Mirror Twilight asked.

"Yes, this gameroom exists between universes!" said Nightmare Moon!Discord. "So that silly 'colliding universes' thing won't be a plot point here."

The Nightmare!Adagio gave a sinister smirk. "But there's still Equestrian magic here..."

She and her Sirens sang a note to start their spell...only for a voice to answer back and cancel it.

Nightmare Moon!Adagio glared at Mirror Adagio and the sets of Sirens sang at each other, their two songs canceling each other out.

Nightmare Moon!Adagio snarled, her and her sisters using what magic they could manage in this place that actually HAD it to summon their familiars...only for their mirror counterparts to make hand gestures resembling a magical girl casting an attack to summon THEIRS, which seemed much more noble and beautiful despite being physically no different.

The Prime, powerless Adagio huffed and crossed her arms. "Rub it in, why don't you..."

Blue and red sound waves collided and canceled each other out, causing both sets to recall their familiars.

"What's your deal?!" Nightmare!Adagio yelled.

"I could ask you the same thing," said Mirror!Adagio, looking at her with righteous anger. "We are the Muse Sisters, we STOP strife and fighting between ponies, not start it!"

"...How do you eat?!"

"Simple, we eat enough to calm their spirits and relax them, then move on," said Mirror Aria, CALMLY. "There's more than enough strife in the world for us to eat without having to make more, and that was we end bitterness and hate before it can stop. You should've seen the magic we worked between the natives and the colonists in the human world we ended up in."

"We can do that?!" both Nightmare!Aria and Prime!Aria.

"Yeah, you didn't know that? It's quite simple. Like eating just enough to be full, but not enough to fill bloated," said Mirror!Sonata, sounding genuinely intelligent.

Both Arias glared at their respective Adagio's.

"Cool, so we've got evil Sirens, good Sirens, and...not quite good but slowly mellowing out a little sirens!" said the two Pinkie Pies.

Pinkamena snarled. "You're both like my big sister, aren't you?"

Nightmare!Rainbow Dash trotted up to Twilight Prime...and bowed. "Thank you."

Twilight blinked. "What?"

"...You coming to our world inspired me to try and find answers...we couldn't have won if you hadn't came there, we'd never have beaten Nightmare Moon...thank you."

The lavender Alicorn blinked...then smiled slowly. "You're welcome."

Starlight trotted over to her Nightmare verse self. "...So...you realized everything was wrong too?" she asked, recognizing the look on her face.

"Yes...my future self showed up and taught me..." Nightmare!Starlight replied. "That and an 'enslaves everypony equally' tyrant shows you how badly such thinking can go wrong."

Mirror Starlight looked at the other two. Seeing her side by side them made it clear she was much more muscular, almost Amarezonian compared to them, like she was somepony striving for peak pony condition and getting pretty close. "...You two believe in equality?"

"Yeah...just I think we're still trying to figure out WHAT our new version is," said Nightmare!Starlight.

"...May I make a suggestion?"

"So, you all game?" all three Discords asked. "Universe that wins gets the title of Multiversal Gaming Champion!"

Twilight looked to Rainbow Dash and Princess Trixie. "...I'm game, you guys?"

"After what we've been through? A little gaming sounds like fun," Nightmare!Rainbow Dash replied.

"...Sounds like fun," said Princess Trixie, timidly.

Session 24.7 Kendell2


After the Hearth's Warming party, Starlight looked to Twilight as they set up a 'save Hearth's Warming' board game. "Twilight, mind if I ask you something?"

"Yes, Starlight?" Twilight asked.

"Was that story actually real?" she asked. "I mean I get the idea of it, but was it real?"

"What story?" Trixie questioned, naturally being present.

"A Hearth's Warming Tale," Starlight replied.

Trixie sighed. "Yes, it's true...at least the ghosts are anyway."

"Huh? How do you know?" Starlight asked.

"Because the ghosts used to visit Trixie...repeatedly..." the showmare said, relatively calmly.

"What?!" both mares asked.

"Yes, Hearth's Warming Past, Present, and Yet-To-Come. It was a yearly thing until I turned good...Trixie had a lot of issues..." Trixie admitted. "...Trixie admits, she thinks she'll miss them."

"What are we talking about?" Spoiled Rich asked.

"Hearth's Warming Tail," Trixie replied. "Starlight asked if it was true."

"Oh, of course it is, the ghosts visited me last year when I tried to ban Diamond from going to a party with her friends for some petty thing..." Spoiled Rich replied. "Who'd you get to herald them?"

"Pony Trixie used to know," said Trixie. "You?"

"My mother..." Spoiled replied. "Wonder what the ghosts are doing tonight..."

---

"...This is going to be a long night, isn't it?" Tirek asked, staring at his old mentor Sendak the Elder floating in front of him, in lots of chains tethered to the cages he used to bind the things he sought to steal the magic of.

"Probably...hey, I'm not any happier about this than you are! If it were up to me I'd just sit back and LET you spend all eternity with chains forged from your own greed weighing down your soul, you ungrateful brat!" the old Centaur replied. "Oh, and don't try stealing the Ghosts' magic either."

"Why?"

"Because I tried it already and all I got was frost bite on my tongue!"

Tirek blinked, raising an eyebrow. "But you're dead!"

"I know!"

---

"The windigos are real too," said Trixie. "Last Hearth's Warming Trixie met one...he was actually sapient and trying to ruin Hearth's Warming. Want to hear the story?"

"No, Trixie, you wouldn't shut up about how you saved Hearth's Warming until summer," Twilight replied. "...On second thought, why don't you be Game Master and make that the story?"

"Trixie is fine with that."

Session 24.8 Mtangalion

While ponies and sirens chattered away in the interdimensional gaming room, Prime Gilda rolled her eyes and wandered out of the crowd. "Multiversal Gaming Champions? Eh, squawk that. I had a cake in the oven." She started tapping a claw on the invisible walls, hoping to find a way out.

Of course, some ponies, or griffons as it turned out, weren't going to leave her be. "Hey," said Gilda the Night Guard, holding up her talons in a lazy wave. "Heh, just when I thought I was through bouncing around the universe. So... what unit are you with?"

The third Gilda approached, also looking at Prime Gilda curiously. "How strange, seeing myself not in uniform." She was dressed like an overstuffed peacock in that guard captain armor, and she talked like an overstuffed peacock too. She snapped her talons. "It's an undercover unit, isn't it? Say no more, soldier."

Prime Gilda blinked. "Me, a soldier?" She burst out laughing. "Get outta here. I just want to be a chef! You dweebs are the strange ones!"

The crest on Captain Gilda's armor morphed into Captain Goodguy's face. "No, I'm afraid you're the odd griffon out, which really is quite odd, considering that some-equus arbitrarily designated your universe as the Prime one."

Captain Goodguy poured himself out of the breastplate, making all three griffons hop back uncomfortably. "Let's see, we have Captain of the Royal Guard Gilda..." He tapped Nightmare!Gilda on the shoulder. "Soldier of the Night Guard and former Time Warrior Extraordinaire... Wonderful chap, that Doctor. Always wondered what he'd be like if he wasn't evil." He conjured an image of a Gilda wearing tribal face paint and wielding a crossbow. "Fights for her friends..." A Gilda wearing an Element of Chaos. "Fought against all-consuming Equality..." A silhouette of a towering griffon wreathed in stars. "Oops, spoiler..." he said, wiping that image away with a tiny squeegee mop.

Captain Goodguy grinned smugly. "Let's face it. You just haven't had a decent war to fight in yet!" He snapped his fingers, instantly dressing Prime Gilda in a chef's robe and hat. "So now we have Gilda, Warrior of the Kitchens, who carries a frying pan in place of a sword!"

"Is he this annoying in every dimension?" asked Guard Captain Gilda.

"Pretty much," said Night Guard Gilda.

"Chef" Gilda grinned. "I think I'm gonna like you gals after all. Let's go see what kind of lame game we're playing."

Session 24.9 Dragon-Of-Twilght

While most other ponies wound down from the Hearth's Warming festivities, high above Ponyville, a bespectacled pegasus continued to flit and flap about, jumping on clouds to squeeze more snow out of them and bouncing around like an overly excited foal... or Pinkie Pie, the difference was semantic.

"Woohoo!" Coffee Swirl jumped between clouds like he was in a bouncy castle, twirling through the snowflakes even as they stuck to his mane and the ends of his scarf. "More snow!" He giggled, actually giggled, diving into one of the snow clouds and coming out with a grin even as he shivered. "Yeah!"

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow as she and Fluttershy watched from nearby, sipping cocoa as they sat on a cloud. "So... should we tell him we've already got enough snow?"

Fluttershy waved her off. "This is the first time I've seen him smile since he gave us that game to play-test, let him have this a bit longer."

Dash wingshrugged with another sip of her drink. "Kay, just hope the bastard doesn't get frostbite while he's doing it."

Session 24.10 Alex Warlorn

"And the never-actually-gaming-curse continues," remarked one Spike to another as they watched the brutal brawl the three different sets of the mane six had gotten into. Fluttershy Prime had attacked Mirror Fluttershy first ironically with a surprisingly psychotic blood lust after Mirror Fluttershy admitted to kicking puppies off tables in her spare time and was a card carrying member of Equestria's Meat Eater's association.

Prime Twilight and Mirror Twilight had brutally debated on where the line between science and magic lay, which ended in magical and technological lasers flying.

Applejack and Mirror Applejack... it had been kind of inevitable and the less said the better.

Both Rarities had insisted they were the embodiment of fashion and the other was clueless.

As for Rainbow Dash and her mirror counterpart.

Prime RD said, "And I guess you're going to attack me?"

Instead Mirror RD covered her head with her hooves, "Don't hit me! I'll be good! Don't be angry Spitfire!"

RD looked at her mirror self in shock.

"Aren't you going to attack me?!" Asked Mirror Pinkie Pie.

"Naw... I... don't wanna hurt another 'me' again."

"What's that even MEAN?!"

"I don't like talking about it."

As for the Nightmare Moon timeline ponies... Orangejack wasn't about to get into a brawl with country folk. Twilight and Smarty Pants politely stood back not understanding what the big deal was. Fluttershy curled back from the fight, wondering if that was what she really looked like when she got angry. Rarity was waiting for the other two to tire themselves out. Pinkie Pie began asking machine gun style questions about the other two's universes. As for Thestral Rainbow Dash... she couldn't believe a version of her was such a spineless wimp!

"Yeah, the curse most definitely continues." Said the other Spike as the two played Harmony The Gathering.

Session 24.11 Mtangalion


Windy Whisper soared through moonlit cirrus clouds on nearly silent wings, pitch darkness below and the full glory of Princess Luna's night above. The grey thestral grinned, fangs gleaming. "Mmm, it's been way too long." She pulled a stack of parchments from her saddlebag, dipped a quill pen in ink... and cast pages and quill into the wind.

Like magic, the pages floated before her... like magic, because it *was* magic, wind magic. Windy smirked. The nerve of some ponies, calling it pegasus magic... She held a steady glide, focusing the wind around her to make all the pages glide this way and that, sorting them in order. She read the last few paragraphs, and immediately the scene she'd been working on leapt to mind. The wind floated the quill to the last page, and she began to write...

"They took Silver Crystal with them, bounding through the Evershade Forest like they belonged to it, powerful, feral, howling to each other in voices no pony should have possessed. Deeper and deeper, beyond any hope of rescue or help, until finally they brought her before a brute that towered head and shoulders even over them. He gazed down at her with lantern-like green eyes, a mountain of shaggy red fur and muscle, straw blond mane hanging down to his shoulders, speaking not a word."

"Silver Crystal gulped. 'You... You're wolf ponies!'"

"The red-furred leader of that strange pack snorted. He lifted a *paw* larger than her head... and carefully brushed her ear. 'YES.'"

The mists beneath Windy parted, and Rainbow Dash rose suddenly into view, surfing through the clouds just inches away. "Ooh, whatcha writing?"

Windy shrieked and wheeled her hooves, totally losing her concentration. She reestablished her flight field quickly, but the quill and pages were blasted away from her, fluttering loose in all directions. "Oh no, no no no!"

Dash had the decency to be embarrassed, scratching her mane with a hoof. "Ouch, I'm really sorry about that. I'll help you catch them!"

"No!" cried Windy. "I mean... that's okay! I don't need any help!" She dove after the closest pages, snatching them up in her hooves. High altitude winds gusted, carrying the rest of the pages straight towards Ponyville... of course.

Rainbow Dash zoomed up alongside her, wings beating lazily. "We can make it a contest! The pony who catches the most pages wins." She zoomed away again, leaving a rainbow contrail... how did she do that in moonlight?!

"Focus," growled Windy Whisper to herself, pumping her leathery wings to pick up speed. Dodge left, grab a page, barrel roll right, grab two more pages. "I have to beat her to those pages, or my life here is ruined!" In the distance, she saw more rainbow trails streak past at ridiculous speeds. "Oh, right. What was I thinking? Yep, I'm doomed..."

They were nearly down to the rooftops of Ponyville when Windy snagged the last page that she could see. Dash glided up to her and hoofed over a stack of pages without trying to read them, thank Luna! "That's seven pages for you and ten for me!" The pegasus grinned, showing off the feather caught in her teeth. "And your quill. I win!"

Windy snatched the stack of paper and checked the page numbers, confirming that no pages were missing. "Uh... thanks. Keep the quill, I'll get a new one." She blinked... Dash was snickering. "What?"

Dash nudged her. "Heh, I had no idea you wrote mushy stuff like this."

Windy nearly fell right out of the sky, cheeks blushing scarlet. "Wh.. What? You couldn't have read them! There wasn't time!"

Dash coughed. "Yeah, I kinda pick up on everything while I'm flying. Sorry about that too... I totally get why you were too embarrassed to tell us."

"Wait, what?!" Windy bristled, forgetting herself. "Are you saying my writing is bad?!"

"Chill, okay? How would I know? I don't read stuff like that. It's more fun to chat up real colts. There's this awesome bar in Cloudsdale I could show you. I could totally go with you if you ever need a wingpony."

Windy glared at her.

"And... I totally put my hoof in my mouth again. Offer still stands, though." Dash grinned. "Now, if you want an expert opinion on mushy writing, I could always show your stuff to Rarity..."

"No!" yelped Windy. "Don't you dare tell her about..." She coughed. "I mean, this is first draft and I'd be just mortified, so please don't mention it. To anypony."

Dash beamed. "Hey, would I do that to a friend?" She yawned and stretched in midair. "Welp, there's a nice soft cloud with my name on it. Seeya!" Dash waved and zipped away.

Windy was left hovering over Ponyville, blinking. "Friend? Huh."

Session 24.12 Kendell2

"You feel a chill going down you back and hear a ghostly moan..." said a navy blue, black maned Batpony with a tone that would be at home as a narrator for a horror film, red eyes staring ominously from behind her glasses, a black book with a will-o-wisp for a Cutie Mark. "What do you do?"

Luna's two Night Guards, Echo and Nocturn, shivered.

"I check for the presence," said Windy, rolling.

The batpony rolled a third 'luck' dice with the game logo instead of a six. "You detect the presence down the hall. Your EKG beaps faster and faster and faster as it comes closer and closer. The moaning growing louder and louder by the moment..."

"G-Ghost Story, do you have to say it so spooky every time?" Nocturn asked, shuddering.

Windy rolled her eyes. "Let her tell the story how she likes to. She's the GM."

Ghost Story giggled. "What's wrong, Nocturn? You're a big strong Night Guard, afraid of a little ghost?"

"N-No, o-of course not..."

"Excuse me-" said Twilight, entering the room.

"AH!"

"AH!

"AHH!"

"AHH!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

Nocturn panted, as did Twilight.

Twilight blinked, looking up at the four Bat Ponies hanging upside down from the ceiling by their tails, the table positioned so they could still reach everything fine.

"Hello, Princess Twilight," said Ghost Story. "Your novel is on the counter."

"Oh, thanks! Sorry for interrupting your game," Twilight said, getting the book off the counter of Ghost Story's book store. "And startling you."

"It's fine, life's no fun without a good scare," Ghost Story replied, giving a wave as Twilight leave. "So...shall we continue?" asked the mare, giving an omnous look and causing Nocturn to blush as his partner gave him a chuckling nudge.

Session 24.13 Dragon-Of-Twilght


"So... who are you again?"

Coffee Swirl gave Bon Bon a look as he sat behind a DM's screen. "I run the coffee shop over on Meadow Lane."

She slowly nodded. "And how did you find this game?"

"Somepony was moving out of town and had to sell some stuff he found in his attic for extra bits. I remembered the name, and it was cheap. So I decided to get it."

"Right..." She tilted the old and worn box toward her. Though the ornate script on it was faded and slightly damaged with time, the title 'Last Fantasy VI' could still be read upon it. "I thought this was one of those video game things, not a board game."

"BONNIE!" Lyra jumped up as though her 'best friend' had just used a racial slur. "I've told you a thousand times, these are not 'board games'; they're Tabletop Role Playing Games!"

Bon Bon rolled her eyes. "Whatever, but still!"

"Haven't really had time to look into it," Swirl admitted. "But it's got the company logo on it, and everything I can find seems official enough. Even if the information is a bit out of date."

Muffins looked up from the small book of an instructions manual, her eyes crossed. "Is that why it only mentions Celestia as a princess?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Game's about as old as I am, I don't think anypony outside of her knew about Luna back then. Though I think it was just after Cadance showed up, so they worked her in as a co-ruler." He paused as the gathered ponies all looked at him. "What? I didn't make the game, I'm just telling it like it is."

"And the plot?" Octavia shot a half-hearted glare at Vinyl while the unicorn silently chuckled into her hoof.

"AU Equestria; some self-styled emperor from the gryphon lands marched on the country a few years prior and is looking for a lost fourth tribe of ponies that supposedly had magic anyone could use. He also has been conducting magic experiments to try and emulate them, but we'll get to that part later."

The Doctor scoffed at this. "As if Equestria was short on would-be emperors; could have just used Sombra."

"Again, out of date; nopony knew about him back when this was made. And we'll be here all night if you want to point out every historical inaccuracy, so can we move along?"

The Doctor grumbled, but pulled out his sheet the same as the others.

"Okay, before we begin, I need each of you to roll a d20 and tell me what you get."

Six dice all clattered across the table.

"Twelve," said Lyra.

"I got eight," Bon Bon added.

"A fourteen for me," Octavia replied.

The Doctor chuckled at something as his stopped on ten.

Vinyl quietly grumbled as she held up her natural one.

And Muffins... "A twenty, woo-hoo!" She clapped her hooves together with a smile on her face.

"Congratulations," Swirl simply said. "Your character gets to be a demigod."

Everypony around the table froze. "What?"

--------------------------

"The giant wasp fires its stinger at you, Octavia; roll reflex."

"I already am; thirteen, is that good enough?"

Swirl checked his notes. "What's your character's modifier again?"

"Plus four."

"Then yeah, your thief avoids the stinger."

The cello player put on a smug grin. "And you said I was a fool for making one, Vinyl."

Vinyl stuck her tongue out at Octavia, looking back at her own sheet. While, on paper, there was nothing entirely wrong with her 'Brawler' character, she'd had such poor luck with her rolls that she was barely standing.

"I roll to use my Multi-bow on the enemies!" Lyra shook the dice in a magically constructed hand, then tossed them on the table and looked at the d10s. "Okay... six, four, and eight; what's that get me?"

"Well, the wasp is dead finally," Swirl paused to let Lyra and Bon Bon hoofbump, "and you do another ten points of damage to the giant rats. You're up, Doc."

"My Samurai spends two sword-tech points to ready his Counter ability."

"Okay; just in time too, since one of the rats bites you. You take... fifteen damage, but the thirty you deal in return takes out the rat. But you're in critical health now."

"I cast cure on him!" Muffins called out, then blushed sheepishly at her own outburst. "Um, I can do that, right?"

"Yeah; he's back up to full health now."

"Okay, good."

"Why is her character the only one who can use magic when she's a pegasus?" Bon Bon finally asked. "Three of us are playing unicorns and all we have is basic telekinesis."

"That's how the game works," Swirl answered. "She rolled the highest, so her character gets to be half-esper. Don't worry, it'll even out later; also, it's your turn."

"Fine... my Wildmare uses her Lost Cat rage... eighteen... and with my weapon that threatens a critical... fourteen to confirm?"

"Just barely, but yeah; the rat's dead from that. They dropped a few potions, and you can see the exit to the cave in the distance; you want to head there?"

"I'm sure you're waiting with a boss monster just to mess with us, so might as well..."

Swirl said nothing, though his face held a slight smile as he shuffled a few of his notes about behind the screen.

Session 24.14 Dragon-Of-Twilght


Swirl read the Doctor's first character sheet. Similar to the NPC he'd run in the Doctor's own campaign. "No."

Doctor Blinked, "'No'? No what?"

"No, this isn't happening." He tosses the sheet away.

Doctor sputtered. "But that character-"

"Is blatant wish fulfillment of a level that I refuse to allow in any game I run. And if you try to turn whatever character you DO end up making into this one, I will rip up the sheet, throw you out of the game, physically if I have to, and kick you in the face if you still don't get the message. Are we clear?"

" ...yes."

"Good; now, make a different character."

Session 24.15 Ardashir (with edits by me and Sonicandmario826 and Mtangalion)

"Of course, the first time Alisa and Chrysalis met, they didn't exactly sit down and challenge each other to a game of cards..." Rarity said sipping some tea.

"Greetings, friends of Mistress Rarity!" Five ponies looked up as Alisa the Diamond Wolf loped into the room, a diamond-studded collar on her neck. "She is not able to make it for your 'game night', so she asked me to fill in for her."

She went right to one of the two empty chairs and curled up in it.

"Rarity can't make it? Oh dear, I remember she wondered to me earlier how long that new order would take. At least we have you here, Alisa." Fluttershy reached over and lightly scratched the pony-size wolf behind her ears. Alisa's tongue lolled, sending droplets of wolf slobber onto the tabletop. Fluttershy grinned. "Who''s a good girl?"

"Uh, okay, I guess," Rainbow Dash moved her character sheet back a little. "It's just, ya know we're gonna have another guest over tonight, right? An' we don't know how she's gonna react ta a wolf."

"Mistress Rarity said to behave as she would," Alisa said, raising her head proudly. "I will make my pony-pack proud of me."

"At least ya ain't wearin' those creepy pony-suits no more," Applejack set a bowl of baked apple crisp before Alisa. She lowered her muzzle and almost inhaled the food. Applejack let her finish. "That's a big improvement right there."

"Oh, but I still do!" The relieved smiles on the faces of the ponies faded as Alisa said, "I have altered the suit of Miss Rarity to have red mane and ruby flank-mark. Sometimes I wear it and see if anypony can guess I am really a wolf." She grinned, fangs gleaming. "Nopony ever has."

"I love those suits!" Pinkie Pie ate some of her snacks. "They're as good as the one I wore when I had to spy as Fluttershy in the Crystal Empire..."

Fluttershy shuddered. Twilight set a reassuring hoof on her withers.

"An' it oughta give you something in common with our guest tonight!"

"Really?" The ponies didn't notice how Alisa's ears slowly went back, or the roughness in her voice as she said, "What guest?"

"What meaningless, juvenile -- ahem, I meant to say, friendship-affirming and socially-positive pony game are we playing this time?" Queen Chrysalis walked in slowly, a magic-dampening lock on her jagged horn. Alisa bristled and hunched, eyes starting to blaze.

"Queen Chrysalis," Twilight said, nodding to her. "I'm so glad you keep agreeing to this. It's a much better way of keeping an eye on you than, well..."

"Than locking me and my swarm away inside a volcano, as the ever-forgiving Princess Celestia did once before?" Chrysalis sneered and stomped one chitinous hoof. "And what is with this magic dampener whenever I visit?" She gave them the most innocent blitheful blinking of large cute eyes she could that would make a Yak's heart melt. "You don't trust me?"

She was met with glares. "Smart move." Replied Chrysalis with a wicked smirk. She glared at the ponies, her gaze going from one to the other as she said, "I suppose it is an improvement, even though every time I look at you hypocrites I want to turn my swarm loose again. Treating us poor Changelings like criminals..."

"Yah mind-controlled half the Guard an' Twi's BBBFF, knocked Cadance unconscious an' stuck her in a mine, an' tried ta bug-ify Princess Celestia," Applejack smacked one hoof on the table. "Y'all are lucky we ain't griffons or dragons." Her friends nodded. All save Fluttershy, who was eyeing the snarling Alisa with increasing concern.

"Yes, it did go well at first, didn't it?" Chrysalis laughed. She rolled her eyes as none of the ponies joined in. "What, no let bygones be bygones? You ponies are so vindictive. So we're playing that silly 'O&O' again? So, more robbery of poor monsters because we're 'the good guys'?" She looked along the table. "Where's Miss 'I Was So Evil'? Dd you throw her out with the rest of the rejects..."

Her eyes fell on Alisa, who bristled so fiercely she looked half again her normal size.

Chrysalis hissed as Alisa clambered up on the table.

Two voices, one Changeling and one lupine, spoke as one:

"WHAT IS THAT THING DOING HERE?!?"

"Huh? What?" Twilight looked from Chrysalis to Alisa and back again. "What's the matter with you two? HEY!"

Dash and Applejack pinned down the snarling Diamond Wolf just as Twilight's magic snatched Chrysalis as she flew at Alisa.

"Dangit, ya crazy wolf! Simmer down! Ah mean, don't nopony like Chrysalis, but she's a guest!"

"Queen Chrysalis!" Twilight snapped. "Right now your magic is restrained, AND I can have you sent to an actual prison! So control yourself!"

"Filthy bug-pony!" Alisa snapped, her jaws making a chopping noise as they came together. "Tried to infiltrate Diamond Wolf packs long ago! Diamond Wolves could smell bug-stink! They kill our prince! Diamond Wolves HATE bug-ponies!"

"Wait, Diamond Wolves can smell Changelings, even in other forms?" Twilight blinked, and made a quick note. BBBFF and Cadance might be pleased to learn that.

"We had to evolve, we've worked on improvements," Chrysalis shrugged.

"Evolution doesn't work that way!"

"It does for us. So you vermin still exist?" Chrysalis sneered, vanishing in green flame and reappearing as a Diamond Wolf. The ponies didn't recognize him, but Alisa stiffened. Chrysalis laughed. "To think that something that minor still angers you mongrels. I was wondering if we could feed on you like we did on ponies, and then I learn you can smell us out." She sighed and looked pleased. "So I naturally killed their mangy prince of the time to teach them to stay out of our affairs, AND I had my Changelings take their forms and cause mischief to make them hated... But really? All this anger over my making wolfskin rugs a fashion among Stalliongrad ponies for years?"

Alisa snarled and fought to reach Chrysalis. She just laughed.

"Both of you, KNOCK. IT. OFF!"

Wolf and Changeling were slammed into their seats and held helpless. Twilight rose over them. her horn glowing and hr face bearing the look she normally only showed Spike when he allowed silverfish into the library.

"I have spent a MONTH working on this adventure! I put off reading the latest Daring Do book JUST to get this done in time!" Alisa and Chrysalis wilted under Twilight's fury. "I am NOT allowing it to be ruined by some centuries-old feud!" She exploded into flames, her coat turning jet black like Nightmare Moon's as she almost roared, "Now, both of you, calm down and play politely, OR I WILL LOSE MY TEMPER!" She settled back down in her chair, returned to normal appearance, took a deep breath and straightened her mane before saying in her usual voice, "Please?"

"Yes, ma'am," the terrified Alisa and Chrysalis said in small voices, cringing back.

Twilight smiled and opened her notebook, taking out the adventure notes.

Dash tapped Applejack on the withers and whispered, "AJ? I think I gotta use the little filly's room."

"After that?" AJ gulped and smiled weakly as Twilight grinned at her, looking manic. "Better hold it. Ah think potty breaks are cancelled for th' night."

Out of sight meanwhile, Kevin the changeling (good old fashioned perfume did wonders) took a photo of the sight of Queen Chrysalis cowing before Princess Twilight Sparkle. True, the Queen hated him in a way that made Dragon Lord Torch's dislike of Dragon Town dragons look like pure unconditional love, but this photo would be worth it.

Author's Note:

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 24.0 Mooncalf99
Session 24.1 Mtangalion
Session 24.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 24.3 Kendell2
Session 24.4 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 24.5 Mtangalion
Session 24.6 Kendell2 (OOC: I want to see what everyone can think of to do with this. Seemed like a fun idea.)
Session 24.7 Kendell2
Session 24.8 Mtangalion
Session 24.9 Dragon-Of-Twilght
Session 24.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 24.11 Mtangalion
Session 24.12 Kendell2
Session 24.13 Dragon-Of-Twilght
Session 24.14 Dragon-Of-Twilght
Session 24.15 Ardashir (with edits by me and Sonicandmario826 and Mtangalion)



Cover art by Meanlucario http://meanlucario.deviantart.com/

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