• Published 2nd Sep 2015
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Ponies and Dragons (Just Have Fun) - Alex Warlorn

A peek at various times of the Mane Six, Spike, and friends, all play Dungeons and Dragons/Ogres and Oubliettes, Paranoia, Call of Ponythulu, Toon, an adaption of themselves, and just about every other role playing game under Celestia's sun.

  • ...

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Session 1

Session 1.0

Behind the Dungeon Master Screen, (and sitting on top of some books to raise his height) Spike spoke to the group of ponies before him. "Okay girls you turn the corner in the desert pyramid, and you see a treasure chest in the corner of the opposite end of the hallway."

Rainbow Dash got her dice ready. "Get ready to fight some low level monsters."

Twilight shook her head. "No, you scan the room for traps first."

Spike said with a straight face. "You spot no low level monsters and you don't find any traps."

Twilight nodded. "Then approach the chest and check it out."

Spike's checklist of the next sixty seconds went as follows:
-Twilight Sparkle Is Fireballed By a Mimic
-Twilight Sparkle Dies
-A grave appears to mark Twilight Sparkle's passing
-Twilight Sparkle repawns in Twilight's Delightful Garden

Twilight balked. "Wait, since when can Mimics shoot fireballs?!"

Spike shrugged. "Rare spawn."

Rainbow Dash grinned. "At least we'll get good loot from killing it."

AJ stared. "Ah'll admit, Ah didn't see that comin'."
Session 1.1 (Ardashir,SomeRandomMinion)

"So, what characters are we gonna be playing?" Dash looked at the new module. "And this, 'Raven Loft'? What the hay is this?" The module bore the picture of a gloomy castle together with a bat pony in evening clothes. She tried sneaking a peek.

"Dash!" Twilight snatched it away. "It's something different. Gothic horror..."

Rarity pricked her ears up while Dash and Gilda (who she'd convinced to 'try it out') groaned.

"Ya mean we're gonna pretend to sit around and be mopey and listen to bad music?" Gilda huffed, ruffling her feathers up in annoyance.

"No!" Twilight rolled her eyes and began setting the dice down. "It relies more on atmosphere and story than just plundering dungeons."

"Personally? I'm all for it," Rarity went to her seat. "It's time we tried something different from armed robbery in these games. I want to be something other than a thief for once!"

"Umm, strictly speaking, the class is called 'rogue'..." Fluttershy's voice trailed off as she hid behind her mane.

"Yeah," Dash said, "an' we need somepony ta spring the locks. Hey, you're obsessed with money anyway..." She shut her mouth several seconds too late.

Rarity shrieked, "WHY DOES EVERYPONY KEEP EXPECTING ME TO PLAY A THIEF?!?! Why don't you ask SURI to play if you want that?!"

Twilight waved her forehooves frantically. "Rogue doesn't have to mean thief, Rarity! It can mean anypony who gets by on their wits and charm."

Dash snorted. "And you have at least half of that down -- oops."

She recoiled from the deadly glare aimed at her by the purple-maned mare.

"WHAT was that, Rainbow Dash??"

Gilda separated the two.

"Can we just play this dweeb game already?"

Over the next few nights, they played through Ravenloft.

Fluttershy felt dismay at the descriptions of innocent animals turned into murderous servants of evil.

Applejack was horrified at the wasting of the land under Strahd von Zarovich; Pinkie Pie didn't like anypony who refused to even let their people laugh.

Dash enjoyed getting the parts of the Sun Sword together. Rarity enjoyed helping their local ally Tatyana out, especially when they learned that the young pink alicorn was going to wed a paladin.

("Twilight! What's with the shout-outs?")

("Heh, just to make it feel a little more real and personally involving, girls!")

And Gilda...

"WHAT THE HAY IS THIS?" She shrieked and spread her wings in fury. The ponies winced as she raged. "This is the FIFTH time that vampony put the bite on me and sucked some of my levels away!! He keeps attacking us and running away, the big coward! I'm gonna tear off his head when I catch him, that lousy..." A rag held in a purple magical grip slipped up and wrapped around her beak.

She glared at Twilight.

"What did I say about language?"

"Can't much blame her, Twi," Applejack said. "He killed ma animal companion, stole Fluttershy's witch-familiar, ruined Pinkie's plans for the wedding reception...."

"Snatched the last part of the Sun Sword right as we were about ta complete it!" Dash grumped. "An' we learned he killed his brother and betrayed everyone who trusted him..."

"And he called my, MY, wedding dress for dear Tatyana tacky!" Rarity's eyes blazed. "Right before he kidnapped her!" She dramatically threw one foreleg across her face. "How can even a soulless vampony ruin someone's wedding day?!?"

"Well, you'll find out tomorrow night," Twilight began folding the module up. "It's getting kind of late, and -- HEY!" She looked out from the bottom of the pile of her friends. "Mind getting off of me?"

"Forget it!" Gilda joined the rest in one cry. "We've come this far; we're ending it tonight!"

"He's a vampony! He's most powerful at night!"


Time passed. They entered Castle Ravenloft and found Strahd. And the Sun Sword.

They learned the truth about Strahd. That he'd once loved Tatyana in her former life, that he sold his soul to become a vampony to have her forever, only to lose her. Again and again, her every reincarnation ending in her dying at his hands.

But not this time. This time they used the Sun Sword to give the final death to Tatyana as she pleaded for release from vampirism.

"He... He... He said he loved her and, and he did that..." Rarity and Fluttershy wept.

"He ain't gonna do it again," Gilda the barbarian said. Strahd, helpless in his casket from the injuries they inflicted, glared helplessly. She picked up the Sun Sword. "We're finishin' this creep." She held the sword out to Rarity and Fluttershy. "Unless one of you wants ta take the honors."

Rarity looked at Tatyana's ashes. Then at Strahd. She glared and reached for the sword, before letting it drop.

"I can't do it! This poor man's suffered so much!"

Gilda snatched the blade up. "He's a bloodsucking creep who took half my levels with energy drain. If you can't, I sure as heck can!" " With one thrust she pinned Strahd down like a bug on a board.

"And a look of relief passes over his face as Strahd von Zarovich collapses into ashes, dead forever." Twilight intoned as she closed the book. "The end!"

"GAH! Gilda, how could you!" Rarity pinned her ears back. "Poor Strahd, he only wanted to be loved..."

Gilda clacked her beak in annoyance. "By his kid brother's fiancee Tatyana! And he murdered his brother. And killed Tatyana. AND killed everyone at the reception after he became a vampire!"

Applejack nodded. "Yeah, even Chrysalis was better than that. Ah'm kinda with Gilda here."

"Maybe no more Gothic horror, please?" Fluttershy called from under the table.

Rainbow suppressed a chuckle as she helped 'Shy out from under the table. "Normally I don't mind scary stuff, but....yeah, maybe next time we do this it could be a more....upbeat game?"

Gilda snorted, idly looking through her character sheet. "Just as long as the next dweeb game doesn't have something that sucks out all the leveling up I do..."

Twilight tapped her chin, "Hmm...well, there is something you two might especially like." With a flurry of magic she neatly filed away all the material for Raven Loft, only for a new module to take its place on the table. This one bore a striking image of a quartet of ponies and a Diamond Dog pup (Fluttershy squeed in delight), all dressed like zeppelin crew and striking heoric poses: a unicorn in a captain's uniform floated a blunderbuss by her head winking at the viewer, while a brutish-yet-dashing pegasus in light armor hovered overhead; a cutlass in his mouth as he smirked around the weapon. The little pup wore goggles and carried a wrench as big as he was.
Behind the dashing group, airships soared over a smoky city that looked to be composed mostly of factories and steam vents.

"Skies of Equestria!" Twilight announced with a grin. This is a steampunk world, all about flight and adventure--anything that flies, you'll find it here. Planes, airships, legendary pegasi and griffons; it's all here!" Already Rainbow's grin was growing; Twilight could see her starting to nod in approval. "This should have that levity you're looking for, Fluttershy; not much horror here." Fluttershy didn't even try to hide her relief. "And don't worry, Gilda; no vampires in sight here--plenty of swashbuckling, though!"
Gilda snorted again, but the griffoness couldn't keep herself from smirking.

Rarity leaned in, clearing her throat diplomatically. "Well, that is a nice change of pace, Twilight--I must say, that captain mare's uniform is simply dashing--but I don't think this...steampunk?...setting will be fun for everypony." She inclined her head toward Applejack, who only gave a perplexed "Huh?".

After a short but uncomfortable silence, Applejack's eyebrows tabled. "Wait...ya think Ah won't like this game 'cause it's all about machines and contraptions everywhere? So what, Ah'm some kinda luddite who goes plum crazy when she sees anythin' more complicated than a wheelbarrow?"

"No, AJ, we'd never think that!" Pinkie defended. "It's just...well, you never let anypony bring big equipment to Sweet Apple Acres; and Flim and Flam always had some big fancy machine when they tried to scam everypony..."

Applejack facehooved. "So? Just 'cause mah family sticks ta traditional farmin' don't mean we hate everythin' the least bit modern! Even Granny Smith'll sometimes say she wants tah get a radio set fer the livin' room. And those two snakes-in-the-grass ain't on my blacklist 'cause they used machines, they're there 'cause they're ripoff artists. So...Ah'm just fine with this here game, Twilight. No problems from me."

Twilight shrugged. "Well, glad you could get that off your chest, AJ. Anyway, 'Skies of Equestria' it is. I'll pass around some basic guidebooks and character sheets so you can all get some idea of what you want to do. We'll meet up the night after tomorrow and really get started...oh, and this is kind of an older game, so don't lose them, they're hard to replace."

Session 1.2 (Endrel1110 with edits by Alex Warlorn)

Twilight was behind the DM screen and sighed. "Spike dies, again, and respawns in the Cave of The Generous Dragon."

Spike says, annoyed. "Again? I just got back into the fray!"

Rainbow Dash then said. "Well, maybe if you stopped giving all your higher level stuff to Rarity and actually kept some of it, you would survive more!"

"But what if Rarity needs it!"

"Spike!" Rarity interrupts. "I appreciate the loot you give me, but I don't need 3 high-level Slime Hammers, 4 Golden Crossbows, 2 sets of Solar Guardian Armor, 3 Sets of Nightmare's Armor, and ALL of the healing potions you find."

"I could've sworn I gave you more than that."

"That's because I've been sharing them with the girls when they need them."

Applejack said, embarrassed, "Yeah, still can't believe I rolled so low the Crossbow fired backwards!"

=An amount of time before Spike's deaths=

Twilight warned, "The door you are at turns out to be a Mimic, and slams Pinkie's foreleg."

"At least it's not another one disguised as a treasure chest," Rainbow Dash shook her head.

"The last one was disguised as a tool shed and tried to eat Fluttershy." AJ reminded her.

"It said it as a time machine," Fluttershy said.

Pinkie looked shocked, and Twilight rolls a d8, after calculating the damage, she asks for an initiative roll, with Applejack getting the highest initiative.

Applejack, looking confidant says "All right, using my crossbow (Thanks Rares) I'll attack the Mimic."

Applejack gets ready to roll the dice, and ... she ... gets a ... 1. Followed by another. And another.

The reactions were glorious.



"Wait, really."

"I gave that crossbow to Rarity, to give to you, for that?"

"Oh, Applejack, we all get unlucky sometimes."

Twilight then interrupts the conversation to say, having finished rolling on the Critical Failure Table. "Girls, please, Applejack's crossbow misfires, damaging her, it also breaks, being made of gold."

"Ah say we burn them 'critical fumble' extra rule books." AJ grumbled.

Twilight gave her a death glare that AJ returned uncowed by the powerful purple pony.

Session 1.3 (Kendell2)

"I fail to see why I'm a player and not the game master!" Discord lamented, Fluttershy having talked him into joining for the night.

"Because we've seen you as game master in real life," Rainbow Dash replied dryly, giving him a glare. "I seem to remember the words 'play fair' aren't part of your vocabulary!"

Discord crossed his forelimbs and gave a glare, until Fluttershy gave him puppy dog eyes. "Fine. I suppose I should pick a character type and all of that."

The spirit of chaos summoned a big wheel with every possible character type on it and spun it.

Rainbow Dash blinked. "Uh, dude, I'm me and even I can tell you that's a bad idea. Get stuck with a character type you don't like, and you'll probably regret it."

"Hmp! I'm Discord! Which of these character types could POSSIBLY be hard for me to manage?"

"Alright, then play with what you get, unless you're chicken," Rainbow Dash taunted.

"Fine! I shall! Then we'll see who's laughing!"

"And NO rage quitting!"

"Rage quit? When have I ever rage quit?" Discord asked, looking offended, ignoring the flat look he got in return.

"You rage quit CHECKERS if you're losing!"

"No, I turn the checkers and their board into a pepperoni and chocolate chip cookie pizza, there's a difference."

Even Discord was not immune to the dreaded act of 'tempting fate' it seemed, as the wheel landed on the Paladin class, much to the spirit's shock.

Rainbow Dash fell off her chair laughing her head off. "Told ya! And of course you had to get it while Rarity's game master!"

Rarity turned her nose up. "Forgive me if I prefer my Paladins to be Nights in Shining Armor."

Discord face clawed. "...Let's just start already..."

Session 1.4 (Ardashir)

While the mane six, plus Discord, Playing through the infamous Tomb of Horror . . .

"WHAT! How can you die just from jumping into the open mouth of a carved devil head?"

Twilight facehoofed. "Because there's a sphere of annihilation in it, that's why! It destroys everything!"

"Why did ya even DO that?" Dash flapped over the table and up to Discord. "You stuck your Holy Avenger sword in there and lost half the blade!"

"What did you think would happen?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"I wanted to find it and replace it -- ah, here it is!" With those words Discord reached into a hole in space from which a chill wailing came and yanked out the upper third of a gleaming sword blade. He called into it, "Thanks, Mom!"

"STOP. LOSING. YOUR TOYS!" was the response as it slammed shut.

The ponies stared in shock.

"Ooo-kay," Dash said. "What was that?"

"It certainly wasn't the Equinomorphic Representation of Heat Death," Discord said. "Different series entirely."

The Mane Six just looked at each othe before getting back to the game without another word.

"Right. So there you are, still in the entryway, after three hours..."

Session 1.5 (Ardashir)

Much, much later...

"Okay," Twilight said, looking frazzled. "There you are, facing Acererak himself, a hovering gem-encrusted skull. You all just barely survived his death scream, and he's just swallowed the soul of Pinkie Pie's rogue..."

"I hope I give him heartburn!" Pinkie said indignantly.

"And he's looking at the rest of you like he was a hungry pony and you were buckets of imported oats!" Twilight grinned evilly. "Now he... Oh, Discord, what is it?"

"Ahem!" Discord lowered his claw. "I merely wish to state that his actions are completely impossible. Eating even just ONE soul would cause years of indigestion and leave him incapable of fighting us. Realistically..."

Everypony groaned.

"Ya ain't gonna turn the room inta another greased chute ending in a lava pit just ta make your point, are ya?" Applejack looked at her singed tail and winced.

"No, but that does give me an idea." Discord snapped his fingers. Light flashed. "Since you won't believe me."

The Mane Six cringed only to sag in relief as they saw nothing different. Same room, same table, same books...

Well, except for the bejeweled pony skull that was rising and giving them all a furious glare.


Session 1.6 (Richforce)

“That’s it!” said Discord. “I’ve there’s no way I could have rolled that many fails!”

Rainbow Dash started to mutter. “Rage quit in five, four…”

“It’s time to break out my secret weapon! My infinity-sided die!”

Discord took out a plastic box opened it as dramatic music came from nowhere. Inside was a glowing white polyhedral die, its surface seemed to shift and change shape while a most of its surfaces showed strange glyphs.

“Ohhhh,” said Pinkie. “Shiny.”

“No way that’s legal,” said Twilight.

“It is in this dimension,” said Discord. “Though it is outlawed in nine thousand others.”

“Why would it be outlawed?” asked Fluttershy.

“Infinite sides mean infinite possibilities, anything can happen when you roll this. Our faces could melt into jelly or the world can turn into an egg!”

“Maybe you should put that away,” said Twilight.

“Not a chance! That Ice Incubus is going down! I cast Turn Evil and make a wisdom check against Xoltor the Frozen!”

Discord tossed the die and time seemed to slow down as the die stopped and the surfaces stayed in place.

“No way!”
“I didn’t expect that to happen!”

Game master Rarity then said calmly. “You rolled an eight and Xoltor’s constitution just barely withstands your spell as he casts Winds of Winter.” Rarity rolled a d20. “And lands a critical hit. Discord you are frozen solid.”

“Oh shoot!” said Discord as he slammed his fist on the table causing the d∞ to roll again emitting a flash of light.

“Nothing happened,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Not according to that symbol,” said Twilight.


Back in Canterlot the two new royal Shetland Alicorns were discussing their predicament.

“When I said that I wanted to be more approachable to my little ponies this wasn’t what I had in mind,” said Celestia.

“But I love being a chubby, stubby, roly-poly, ball of adorable!” said Luna.

Session 1.7 (BrutalityInc)

2.0 Henderson

"Alright, remind me again how we got into this mess?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking at the trouble their characters got into. "I mean, we all KNOW that the chancellor to the king was in fact an avatar controlled by the evil overlord whats-his-name!"

"Capra, RD, his name is Capra. And that means squat when the only witnesses was you and a maid who first told us about it!" AJ snapped at her, equally irritated by the predicament, "It's our word, a bunch of stranger and a lowly servant, against that of the chancellor's, who is trusted by the king, and has at least half the nobility in his pocket! Unless we uncover some solid evidence of his true identity or his corruption, we can't do anything - solid evidence that we SOMEHOW manage to lose!"

"I swore my bard has it in the bag!" Pinkie insisted, "In all meanings of the word!"

"Well, now that you had failed to expose the evil chancellor in time, the king has been rendered comatose by an assassination attempt arranged by him, most of the royal garrison had been sent to someplace, too distance to return in time to stop the evil overlord's army of troggs and dragons, which has now surrounded the capital." Twilight summed up the whole situation, from her place at the DM seat, with Spike indisposed by a sudden case of dragon cold.

"Well, at least the situation can't get any worse." Rainbow Dash said, half-sarcastically.

"Oh believe me, there are so many ways the situation could get worse," Rarity said cynically, "Even if we somehow save the city from the siege, Overlord Capra's avatar could use the confusion of battle to finish the King, AND his daughter the Princess, or at least kidnap her. And plant evidence that it was US who did the deed, making us look like we're actually agents working for Overlord Capra to the entire kingdom!"

"Not to mention that Overlord Capra himself could use that distraction to prevent us from stopping him getting the remaining three pieces of the Onyx Crown, allowing him to stabilize and regain full control the Heart of Oblivion that grant him his power, from his City-Fortress of Doom, without needing to re-cast enchantments to hold its power back." Fluttershy added, having memorized the details of the campaign "Emm... so, yeah, it... could get even more worse. It's not like Overlord Capra has the means to plunge the land in eternal darkness yet!"

"Don't jinx it!" Pinkie admonished.

"Well, it looks like it's up to the Great and Powerful Sorceress to save the day!" Trixie declared, flaring her cape, filling in Twilight's place for the day, "All that could be prevented, if we work quick enough to deal with the army, and I had just the spell to do so!"

"Remind me again why is Trixie the sorceress?" Rarity asked Twilight, "I mean, wouldn't it be better for her to be a illusionist? Or a bard?"

Twilight shrugged, "Well, I can't stop her from picking whatever class she wants. Besides, she's doing well so far."

"It seems once again Rarity is doubting my skills! Well..." Trixie grinned "Prepare to be surprised, my nay-saying friend! I promise that when I am done, what would had been our doom, shall be our greatest triumph yet!"

"Fine, go ahead, do whatever you're planning to do," Rainbow Dash said, her expression bored, waving a hoof to emphasize what she truly felt of Trixie's boast "Like I said, at least it couldn't get any worse."

"As Trixie was saying," Trixie continued, after a glare at Rainbow Dash, "My sorceress is at the top floor of the highest castle spire, preparing a ritual."

"Roll for initiative." Twilight the DM recited.

Tongue sticking out and eyes narrowed in concentration, Trixie tossed the dice on the table with her telekinesis. The dice comes to a rest..."

"20! Perfect score!" Trixie whopped at her success. "I cast my spell - !"

"Oh! It must be a doozie!" Pinkie asked, almost bouncing from anticipation.


There was silence at the table.

Trixie noticed how all the ponies were staring at her, eyes bulging out and jaws dropping.

Then, "Are you insane?!" Rarity suddenly shouted in horror, leaping up from her seat, "Did you know what you just done?!"

"What? It's a perfectly legal spell!" Trixie defended, "My character got enough levels for it too! Three levels more than that, in fact!"

"You mean an over-powered Destruction spell with a TWENTY MILES DESTRUCTION RADIUS?!" Twilight joined in with Rarity. In her neglect, she used the Royal Canterlot voice, which overturned the DM panel and nearly knocked everypony off their seats. "Everypony who plays O&O knows that spell is overpowered, and overkill! And that radius goes up per level! Not even the caster is safe!"

Trixie's face paled when she realizes the implications, she swore she read the spell list carefully...

"Yeah, Trixie knows, but... " She paused. Then, giving up trying to excuse herself, she asked "How bad?"

Twilight pulled the panel backed up, her visage grim as she runs some calculations and read through the manuals. It only got worst when she was done assessing the damage Trixie's character did.

"Well," Twilight began "Going by your levels, you wiped out the evil Overlord's army like you promised."

"Well, that's good, right?" Trixie said. She shrank back from Applejack's proverbial death glare.

"You also wiped out yourself, and your entire party..." Twilight continued.

"Won't be the first time Trixie unwittingly achieves a Total-Party-Kill..." Trixie admit. Rarity rolled her eyes.

"... And the capital city you're suppose to be protecting, along with the Great King, his daughter the princess, the good general, the few defenders, and pretty much the whole population." Twilight confirmed what everypony dreaded.

"Okay. Didn't mean for that to happen..."

"And the evil chancellor avatar of Overlord Carpa." Twilight added, almost as an afterthought.

"Well, at least my sorceress achieved ONE successful strike against Overlord Carpa!" Trixie claimed. This time, everypony except Pinkie and Fluttershy death glared at her, but she continued. "Doesn't violently severing a magic-user's link to his or her avatar causes a magic backlash that could knock out the controller, at least in this campaign setting, and more damage per level? Given Overlord Carpa is level 21..."

"True, but I'm not finished." Twilight explained, "It is true that you managed to knock him out for months and wound him substantially. But during that time, he wasn't able to do the warding ritual that only he knows to keep the Heart of Oblivion's power from going out of control. Without the wards, the Heart of Oblivion undergoes meltdown, and explodes, taking Overlord Capra, his minions, and his City-Fortress with it as it expands..."

"Let me guess, the entire kingdom?" Trixie asked, hoping beyond hope.

"The entire continent." Twilight finished. Then she realizes something else, and added "And to add insult to injury, it also rips open the barrier between the physical plane and that of the Stygian Abyss, where Overlord Capra was summoning Stygian Horrors from, allowing said monsters to swarm into the physical plane and overrun the rest of the world."

"... Whoops." That's all Trixie could say.

"Wow, a 2.0 on the total plot derailment scale!" Pinkie quipped as all the other players groaned or face-hoofed, "This is going to be one for the records!"

Session 1.8 (Ardashir)

Discord sniffed. "What? What did I do wrong NOW?"

"Discord, darling," Rarity said, one of her eyes twitching, "you are supposed to be playing a paladin. A Knight in Shining Armor..."

"And don't I look like one?" Discord passed a claw before his face, turning into Twilight's big brother. But even he flinched at what came next.

"Knights in Shining Armor do NOT club the princess unconscious as she begs them to save her from the forced marriage to the Wicked Shadow King to save her country, rather than her One True Love, and then hand her over!" Rarity's mane hung around her face and she had her forehooves on the table as she shrieked the words into Discord's face.

"You mean she wasn't some shapeshifting love-sucking bug monster, like at the Royal Wedding?"

Rarity facehoofed.

Discord sniffed."Oh, you've done nothing but complain about my chivalric deeds the whole night through! 'Discord, you can't backstab the treasurer for extra bits.' 'Discord, you can't agree to meet your rival in a tourney and then have him poisoned the night before.' 'Discord, you can't bring real monsters to the table..."

"I strongly resent this treatment!" The demilich Poncererak yelled from underneath the core rulebook laying against him. They all ignored him. He shook with fury. "Did I possess even a fraction of my magical might, I would consume your souls and revel!"

"Watch it there, pardner," Applejack warned him. "Or we're gonna give ya to the CMC and let Sweetie give ya another makeover."

Poncererak shuddered. "I'll be good," he said weakly.

Session 1.9 (Endrel1110)

"Ugh," Rainbow Dash groaned, "This game is so boring!"

"Yeah! Why the heck are we letting Fluttershy be the Dungeon Master?" said Gilda.

Currently the game had taken the players to a meadow that had no monsters in it what-so-ever.

"Oh hush," Scolded Discord, "I think this game has been absolutely lovely, even if I'm a Monk this time."

"Besides, I thought we needed a break after you, Pinkie, and Dash all got to be consecutive Dungeon Masters." Twilight explained.

Fluttershy spoke up, "Uh-uh, o-okay, s-so you walk out of t-t-the meadow, and come up to a-a-an animal reserve."

Session 1.10 (Ardashir)

Applejack blinked. "Wait now, Fluttershy, d'ya mean ta say that accordin' to the rules, if some bad guy gets bit by a GOOD lycanthrope, he BECOMES good?"

"Er, well, yes," Fluttershy said. "Right now Mister Werebear is looking at you and saying, 'My thanks for saving my honey bees from those nasty goblins. Is there any way I can repay you'?"

Applejack rubbed her chin and grinned. "Hey, remember them two crooks back in town? Flim and Fla -- I mean Skim and Skam?"

"Yes, but you don't mean -- oh dear."

"He said ANY way ta repay us!"

A little while later.

"Um, okay, Mister Bear bit Skim and Skam and the," Fluttershy blushed, "the nasty Changeling, I mean Succubus Queen, and that big meanie Moonlight Shimmer, and now they're all good, but he says you'll be ruining the balance between predators and prey if he makes anypony else into a werebear."

"Yeesh, AJ, kinda vindictive there, huh?"

"Not everypony can get zapped with th' Elements o' Harmony, Rainbow."

Session 1.11 (Alex Warlorn)

Spike patted Element of Kindness on the shoulder. "Fluttershy, you've got to remember the golden rule."

Fluttershy looked up at him. "Do unto others as you'd have done unto you?"

Spike shook his head. "No, no, no. 'The Dungeon Master is always right.' "

Fluttershy tapped her chin. "Hmmmmm."

And So At The next Game

"Your enter a beautiful glade, where you encounter Dusty Rose, Queen of the Flutterponies. She makes a diplomacy check upon seeing you."

"Wait wait," Twilight said, "Don't you mean we have to make a diplomacy check?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "Nope, she's the one making the check."

"NPCs can't make diplomacy checks on our characters," Rainbow Dash protested.

"I say she can," Fluttershy said in a calm firm voice. Fluttershy rolled the dice. "And let's see, you all go from indifferent to helpful."

"HEY!" Gilda protested. "I was hostile!"

"No you weren't," Fluttershy said.

"Of course I'm hostile! My character hates Flutterponies!"

Applejack said. "Ya got into a cider drinking contest with one at that tavern, told 'em they were cool after. And you helped Dash save that filly flutterpony from the ogre chief."

"Not helping!" Gilda said in a cross between a whisper and a growl.

"Well, now that you're all helpful to the Flutterpony Queen, she asks you politely to help her bring kindness and love across the land," Fluttershy smiled.

"Don't we get a saving throw?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"It's not an enchantment, she's just so nice and likable and good at diplomacy that you all want to help her to the best of your ability." Fluttershy smiled wider and wider. "And help everypony in the land adopt a pet, and ensure everypony is nice to each other, you'll help bring about paradise!" Fluttershy let out a laugh similar to the one she cackled when setting a trap for animals at the Grand Galloping Gala.

"Uh, was that the Flutterpony Queen speaking, or you?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"I think I've created a monster," Spike whispered.

Session 1.12 (Ardashir)

The ponies and Gilda all looked at each other.

"Time for an intervention," Rarity said. She want around the table to Fluttershy. "Fluttershy, darling, maybe you can step back down and let somepony else run the game for a bit?" Fluttershy gave her a somewhat crazed look. Rarity added in a hurry, "Besides, you said you wanted to try out that new class, the Summoner? The one with the pet monster?"

"That's true," Fluttershy said, her voice going soft again. She accompanied Rarity. "So who's going to be running the game now?"

"Ah might as well got for it." Applejack trotted around the table to the DM's seat. "Be mah first time at bat."

The ponies and Gilda looked at each other uneasily.

"Let her go," Twilight said. "What can possibly go wrong?"

Session 1.13 (Kendell2)

"Wow, that's the fifth time you've been sent back to the spawn, Rainbow Dash," Applejack remarked. "Right after leaving it!"

"The zombies are farming me!" Rainbow Dash lamented, her Rogue getting killed by an army of Zombies the moment it left spawn for a sixth time.

"Um...Farming you?" Fluttershy asked, cocking her head.

"You know, waiting for me to respawn so they can kill me!" the Rainbow maned pegasus snarled. "Which is what players are supposed to do when the GM makes an area where monsters keep spawning! Not the monsters to the player!"

"All because Discord decided to sell that artifact to a peddler when we promised the Warden of Tartarus we'd return it to him," Applejack pointed out. "Yah shouldn't have done that."

Discord rolled his eyes. "Oh come now, since when does giving the lord of the undead ANYTHING ever turn out well?"

"When Twilight's the game master and a stickler for mythology?" Pinkie Pie asked. In this case, the Warden of Tartarus was just that, the Warden.

"I'm being farmed by zombies because the Warden can't keep them sealed in Tartarus!" Rainbow Dash pointed out. "FINALLY!" she exclaimed, getting her escape roll and finally getting away from the zombies.

"See? Everything worked out well," the Draconequus pointed out...then rolled a one on his defense roll and ended up getting killed by the boss, sent back to spawn...and then getting killed by the zombies the second he stepped out of it. "...Oh horseapples..."

"And due to un-Paladin-like behavior, you're penalized until you redeem yourself," Twilight pointed out.

Session 1.14 (BrutalityInc)

"Wait a darn second, ah thought we were playin' Ogres and Oubliettes, not Stars and Spaceships!" Applejack exclaimed, when she noticed what module this new campaign they were playing was, "So why teh sudden sci-fi twist of this module?"

"The 'Mages of the Mountains' company published several RPGs set in the universe of 'Space Quest' a couple of years back, for O&O Edition 3 to 3.5 on the d20 system." Spike explained, rubbing the back of his head, "It was pretty popular like the actual film franchise, and we never ran a Sci-Fi campaign before, so I thought we might try it out."

"Actually, it's more accurate to call it Space Fantasy, or Science Fantasy, what with all the bad science they used" Twilight Sparkle corrected with a huff. Then, she went into lecture mode, "In any case, I don't see anything wrong with it. In the world of speculative fiction, the line between Science Fiction and Fantasy is often blurred. Science fantasy is an attempt to mix them both together, and has been classified as a legitimate sub-genre of fantasy, just like High Fantasy, Low Fantasy, Dark Fantasy, Dying World, Sword and Sorcery, Wuxia, and the rest."

"I can see the similarities." Rarity admitted, looking through the manual, grazing every detail with expert eyes of a seamstress, "Here instead of magic, we have psionics. Instead of normal swords, you have 'light-blades'. Castles and dungeons are replaced with orbital star-fortresses and abandoned space colonies. The Paragon Order sounds like an order of paladins. And many of the alien monsters look like expies of fantasy monsters.

"Don't get me started on the Space Quest storyline," Shining Armor, who came over with his wife Princess Cadence on a sibling visit, added. "A mechanic filly meeting an old Psion, who trained her in the ways of Psykers. Then she was sent off to rescue the dashing stallion leader of the Interstellar Resistance and joining their fight to save the Galactic Commonwealth from the invading fleets of the Nebula Queen? That sounds like your average fantasy hero to me!"

Applejack remained skeptical "Can't say Ah'm familiar with the franchise. Never got into Space Quest; seems too weird and fanciful fer my taste wi' all 'em fancy lasers, flyin' saucers and what-not."

"This coming from one of six mares who face dark magic, scary monsters, evil overlords and mad gods on a yearly basis?" Pinkie Pie quipped, earning her a glare from Applejack, which made her giggle even more, "Oh Applejack, you are such a silly filly sometimes."

"I would make such a lovely Space Princess, will I not?" Princess Cadence said, with a husky tone "Being held hostage by the agents of Dark Nebula Dominion to force my homeworld into compliance, waiting for a brave, handsome Paladin - I mean, Paragon Ranger in a shining space battle-suit, to come to her rescue?"

"Oooh, I like the way you think!" Shining Armor replied happily at his wife's suggestion, earning him a nuzzle.

"Aaaanyway, we're actually playing a module set between the Space Quest Prequel series and the Main series proper, called the 'Rise of Resistance' campaign." Spike said, trying to move things forward. "As it says, it tells the story of how the Interstellar Resistance came into being from worlds conquered by the Dark Nebulans, behind the front-lines of the Galactic War.

"Well, what are we waiting for? A colour out of space? Let's go play it!" Rainbow Dash was enthusiastic, being a Space Quest fan since she was young, "Dibs on the space pilot character! I always want to be starfighter pilot, and now I got a chance to play as one! I can't wait to bag myself some big cumbersome Void Cruisers!"

Session 1.15 (MtangaLion)

"What?!" Shining Armor jabbed a hoof towards Discord. "Why does he get to have a magic sword and telekinesis?" He crossed his forehooves, sulking. "I should get those."

Discord matched his pose mockingly. "Don't get snippy with me, mon capitan! You already called dibs on the space pirate."

"Paragon Knight!"

"Whatever!" Discord leaned towards Twilight and stage whispered, "I use the power of the Horse to give him a chainmail wedgie."

Shining Armor stood up. "Oh yeah? Well, I draw my mana blaster!"

Discord snickered, then guffawed, turning end over end in the air. "As if you could actually hit me."

This time, Shining smirked. "My mana blaster comes with a perfect aiming charm, and my Rogue's Initiative talent means that I always shoot first!"

"Preposterous! And believe me, I know preposterous."

Shining levitated a piece of paper right in Discord's face. "Says here right here on my character sheet! I open fire!"

"I deflect his pathetic mana blaster shots with my magic sword!"

Twilight sighed. "Boys... we haven't even started yet."

Session 1.16 (Alex Warlorn)

Spike slowly shook his head. "Sorry Rainbow Dash, you fail your grapple check against the Veggie-pygmies Applejack and Pinkie Pie, and they drag you towards the transformative Rust Mold remains of the Veggie-Pygmy Chief."

"Come on girls!" Rainbow looked at her two friends at the table. "You girls aren't really gonna really do this to me are you? Shouldn't you get a saving-throw or something to resist wanting to turn me into a fungus pony too?!"

"Sorry Dashie," Pinkie Pie said apologetically. "Spike promised our new characters would get experience and point bonuses if we role played our characters after they were turned into miniature vegetable ponies."

"Technically, they're fungoids," Twilight Sparkle said.

"Whatever! Spike! I hold my breath as long as I can and don't stop struggling!"

"Spike! I'm tickling Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie grinned.

"Oh, come on!" Rainbow Dash groaned. "At least let me roll a fort save to see if I resist the tickling."

"I'll allow that," Spike said.

The dice were not Rainbow Dash's friend today.

"Sorry again Rainbow, you laugh out loud, in-hale the spores, and begin your transformation into the latest happy member of the Veggie-Pygmy Tribe community."

"Agh! We wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't bucked that Veggie-Pygmy Chief Applejack!"

"Hey! They ambushed us! And how was Ah supposed ta know that would happen? . . . Besides, Ah failed my knowledge check so Twilight couldn't tell me out of character that was a bad idea."

Rainbow nearly banged her head against the table, but collected herself.

"Soooo, you said I get extra building points and XP for my next character if I role play mushroomed-pony-me right?" Rainbow asked eying the 'non-mushroomed' members of the adventure party.

"Oh dear," Fluttershy whimpered.

"And you all said that enchanted fungus resistant/protection against plants cape was a waste of gold pieces," Rarity said smirking.

"Joke's on you Rarity," AJ grinned. "Fungus ain't technically plants."

"Actually, the game doesn't differentiate," Spike said matter-of-fact. "Rarity's protected."

"Ah call favoritism!" Applejack said.

"Actually, he's right, that is in the rule book," Twilight admitted.

"Saved from a fungal makeover by fashion!" Rarity said triumphantly. "I'll be certain to tell your successors how you were heroically turned into tribal fungus ponies."

"Just be sure to leave out that natural one I rolled," Rainbow Dash said.

"Far be it from me to not honor you last request darling."

Session 1.17 (Ardashir)

My Little Toadstool, My Little Toadstool....

"And now the be-fungied ponies turn towards you three as well," Spike laughed as malevolently as a young dragon could laugh as he pointed at the last three unconverted members of the party.

"Hey, wait!" Princess Cadence pointed a hoof at Discord and Shiny and herself. "Isn't there something we can do to help? I mean, this can't be irreversible, can it?"

"If you have a 'Wish' spell somewhere, yeah," Spike said. "Otherwise it's Mushroom City."

Cadence and Shining Armor both looked dismayed.

"Oh, stop worrying," Discord waved one claw and everypony and -dragon at the table turned into a mushroom. They quivered in horror as he said, "I asked my old buddy the Smooze about it, and he said most fungi are really fun guys! Get it? Get it?"

The mushrooms said nothing. They merely glared at him. Somehow.

"Oh, fine!" Discord waved his claw again and everyone turned back to normal. "And to think, I waste material like this on such an audience. Genius is never appreciated."

Twilight just sighed and took out her notebook. "And one more entry for the 'Things Discord Is Not Permitted To Do At The Table Ever Again' book..."

Session 1.18 (BrutalityInc)

"I cast healing spell!" Pinkie Pie declared.


"I use healing potion!" Pinkie said in response.

"You can't do that."

"I invoke - !" Pinkie tried a third time, but is interrupted by the DM poking her head above the DM panel.

"Pinkie Pie, we're playing a zombie apocalypse campaign... set in the Human world." Sunset Shimmer, who took advantage of a term break to come back through the mirror, explained with as much calm as she could muster in her frustration, "As far as I know, I and your counterparts are the only ones with any magic left at Canterlot High, after we defeated the Sirens, and we're not playing our counterparts now!"

At this, Pinkie seems to deflate a bit. "I... er... apply first-aid kit?"

Sighing, Sunset Shimmer went back to her panel. "Roll for a skills check."

Session 1.19 (Ardashir with edits by Alex Warlorn)

"And the behir swallowed you whole! Monster drool is everywhere, including your mane and tail!" Spike said, proving his impartialness as Dungeon Master.

Rarity shrieked. "My mane and tail?!? I CAST EXPLOSIVE FIREBALL!"

"But you're inside it!"

"My friends can heal my burns, but NOTHING is touching a three-hour mane job!"

Session 1.20 (Richforce)

"You enter the dungeon and find a rusty dagger, a simple wand and a small club." said Diamond Tiara who was serving as the game master while Twilight was refereeing the foals she was teaching O&O.

"A stick that's stupid," said Sweetie Belle.

"It's not a stick it's a small club. You're the ones who didn't want to get any equipment before leaving town. I'm trying to help."

"Ah told you," said AppleBloom. "As an apple the only weapons I need are Mister Bucky and his wife Eliane."

"My character is a unicorn," said Scootaloo. "Why would I even need a wand?"

"And I was going make the monsters surrender with my hypnotic dance!" said Sweetie Belle.

"Just use the weapons," said Silver Spoon whose ranger was the only one who shopped in town.

Then the sound of crunching rang through the room.

"Dazzle!" Diamond yelled to her little black cat. "The dice are not candy! Quit trying to eat them!"

"Meow, meow, rowr, meow! (then they shouldn't have made them look so tasty!)" said Dazzle.

"Diamond calm down and get back to the game." said Twilight.

"Ok," said Diamond taking a deep breath. "You all encounter a Dire Rat. What do you do?"

Silver Spoon spoke first. "I draw an arrow and..."

"I summon Sword Blaster Knight!" said Button Mash as he laid a card with a futuristic pony knight on the table.

"What are ya'll doing here again?" asked Applebloom.

"I wanted to try one of my dad's games, but I prefer my Joyboy and Duel Ponies."

"No cards Button," said Twilight.

"But I'm the local champion!"

"No!" said Diamond. "Look, I'll kill the rat for you and give you guys its experience points. The way you've all been going it would have slaughtered you."

Sweetie hummed for a second while thinking. "I tie the rat's tail to the stick."


"It's a rat-flail!"

"Absolutely not!"

"Come on, it's awesome!" said Scootaloo.

"No, it's stupid."

"Pulleeez?" asked Sweetie.

"Fine! The dead rat gives you the plague and you die!"

"Diamond!" scolded Twilight.

"Can I have her items?" asked Button.

"No you can't have the rat-flail!" Diamond said looking like she her head was about to explode. "You know what? You die too!" She picked up Dazzle and headed for the door. "You all drop dead!"

Dazzle coughed up the dice just as Diamond slammed the door behind her.

A few moments of tense silence passed.

Twilight sighed. "I knew I should have started you off on Settlers of Coltan."

Session 1.21 (Trooper924)

"Alright," said Octavia setting up the Dungeon Master's Screen as Lyra, Bon Bon, Doctor Hooves, Vinyl Scratch and Derpy took a seat at the table. "Princess Twilight has been kind enough to let us use her game room for tonight's session since my place is--" Octavia's eye twitched. "--currently indisposed."

"I don't know what went wrong," said Derpy, looking down guilty. "And I didn't know that Vinyl's sound system could be turned up that loud."

"Anyways," Octavia continued. "Let's just get right to it then." She turned to the two newest players, Lyra and Derpy. "I trust that you two know how this works?"

"Oh yeah," said Lyra, setting her character sheet on the table. "I watch Bonnie play this all the time. I think I got the jist of it."

"Doc told me how to play last night," said Derpy, eagerly clapping her hooves. "I can't wait to play! Yahtzee! All in! Uno!"

"And I'll help her if she gets confused by anything," Time Turner quickly added seeing the look on Octavia's face.

"This campaign is going to be a nightmare," Bon Bon whispered to Vinyl Scratch who nodded in agreement.

"Alright, let's get started," said Octavia, shuffling through her notes. "Now where did I put that campaign intro...?"

Session 1.22 (Endrel1110)

A new game had started, and to everypony's shock Discord hadn't pulled out the wheel of classes.

"Finally finished with being a goody-two, uh, appendages?" said Gilda, who was Dungeon Master this time.

"Like that was stopping me before, this time, I'm going to be an Animal Summoner!" exclaimed Discord.

"Oh, well, okay then, you finally can do something crazy and not be penali-" Gilda started, but Discord interrupted with, "So I can be The Rat King!"

"Wait, you're going to summon dire rats only?" said Twilight, confused.

"No, I'm going to summon regular old rats." Discord then went on about how his character was flushed down a toilet and was raised by the rats in the sewer, he even brought his 'Dad' as a starter animal.

Upon hearing this Gilda started laughing uncontrollably and said, "Alright, alright, I am going to allow this."

=A few hours later=

The party had come upon what looked like a jumping puzzle, with a switch at the end to allow others to cross, however, everyone had taken damage earlier, and none were fit enough to jump, until Discord came up with a solution. "I ask Twilight to levitate Dad over to the other end, and have him pull the switch!"

After taking an intelligence roll, and getting a fifteen, Twilight now had to do her magic roll, and sadly for the flowering Rat Royalty, she rolled a one.

Gilda saw this, and got an evil grin on her face, "Ratcord's Dad starts levitating in the air, slowly, but then he shoots upwards, instantly killing him!"

Discord had a chaotically melodramatic reaction, "FATHER, NOOOOOO! WHY TWILIGHT? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A POOPY MAGE!?"

Twilight whispered to herself, confused, "Poopy? What!?"

Then Discord said, "On account of Twilight killing my Animal Summoner's surrogate animal father, I attack her!" to which Twilight yelled, "WHAT!?"

Discord yelled back "You shouldn't have rolled a one Enoby!"

After that happened, Discord rolled low on the attack roll, and the party ended up passing on through, Discord was even able to do the ritual to summon another rat, whom he said was his cousin Jake, though every time Twilight got a one on anything, Gilda would say "Then Jake started floating in the air."

Session 1.23 (Alex Warlorn)

"Twili', Ah'm might surprised ya let Trixie have a turn at bein' DM."

"There's nothing wrong with letting her have a turn Applejack."

"I imagine dear Applejack is just concerned darling that Trixie may . . . take her role a little too zealously," Rarity said.

"Girls I'm surprised at you. We let Gilda have a turn, so there's nothing wrong with letting Trixie be Dungeon Master. It's not like she's going to make us prostrate before her in real life every time we level up. No, I'm serious, she won't. And Shining told me she was the perfect pony to Dungeon Master this kind of game."

"Why isn't that encouraging?" Fluttershy whispered.

"This'll be really cool or a disaster, either way it'll be fun now, or a big laugh when we look back on it!" Pinkie Pie sincerely smiled.

"Pst! I can take anything Trixie can dish out!" Rainbow Dash said.

"Famous last words," Twilight said. Spike wasn't there to comment as he was off playing another game with Shining Armor, Cadence, Gilda, Discord and Flash Sentry.

Trixie trotted in, grinning ear to ear. None of the ponies were reassured by it. "Greetings citizens! It is I, Your Great and Powerful Friend, The Computer."

She sat behind the DM screen. "Welcome from clone defrosting and to Alpha Complex, where everything is fine, everypony is happy, and there are no secret societies or mutants or communists, or traitors, anything of note outside. Not being happy is treason. Traitors shall be vaporized. You have been selected to act as Trouble Shooters, to find trouble in Alpha Complex and shoot it."

"If there ain't no trouble here, than why do ya need us to shoot it?"

Trixie didn't miss a beat. "Suggesting everything is not fine in Alpha Complex is treason, traitors are vaporized. Applejack No 2, your first assignment is to swept and dispose of the ashes of Applejack No 1. You have five more clones in reserve for this mission."

"HEY! Can she DO THAT?!" Applejack asked Twilight.

"She actually can according to the rule book on page 31-"

"Rule Book? Page 31? Such information is above your clearance level, Red-rank, accessing information above your clearance level is treason, traitors are vaporized by your great and powerful friend the computer. Please clean up the mess of Twilight No 1, Twilight No 2."

" . . . That's in the rule book too." Twilight sighed.

"And how would you know that citizen? Accessing unauthorized information is treason. And welcome to the team Twilight No. 3, your have two piles of ashes to clean up."

"You kinda walked into that one." Rainbow Dash sniggered.

A while later into the game.

"The Green Rank you've been sent to execute tells you in response to go jump off a cliff."

"Ah ain't jumpin' off no cliff!"

"You have ignored a direct order from a higher rank citizen, that is treason, you are vaporized by your Great and Powerful Friend The Computer."


Twilight said, "We storm him wearing ear plugs."

"He holds up a sign telling you to shoot yourselves."

"I shoot the sign, did any of you see any sign? No? Then clearly he's lying if he says there was a sign!" Rainbow Dash said. Since Applejack's clone hadn't arrived yet with the uplink to Friend Computer.

And later still . . .

"Is everypony happy?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Yes we're happy." "Yes darling." "Yeah sure." "Ah'm happy." "..."

"TRAITOR!" Pinkie Pie grinned and pointed at Fluttershy.

"Good work Happiness Officer Pinkie Pie, you have uncovered a traitor. You are promoted up a rank by your friend the computer."

Fluttershy whimpered. Pinkie Pie hugged her.

"Now I get to throw you ANOTHER happy birthday party Fluttershy! And now I'm a total ten minutes older than you!" Pinkie said, her previous clone having gone to the big party store in the sky after crashing their air car into the Frankenpony Destroyers rally.

More Later

"What you mean there are no bunnies? What about flowers or trees?" Fluttershy exclaimed.

"And how do you know these things exist citizen? Clearly you have exited Alpha Complex without permission or are in league with one who is. This is treason. Traitors are vaporized. Welcome to the team Fluttershy No. 3."

More More Later

"And so you see, as Equipment Officer, these accessories increase the self confidence and effective of Trouble Shooters, and is no way treasonous or an attempt to subvert the color ranking system, which is an oxymoron, since there is no treason in Alpha Complex, my dear friend the computer. And I think some curtains and gems will look lovely on your view screen housing."

" . . . Your friend . .. the computer . . . finds your suggestions . .. acceptable . . . which means Applejack committed treason by accusing you of treason. Traitors are vaporized."

AJ knew what was coming an grumbled marking off Applejack No. 4.

And more later

"For you exemplary loyalty to your friend the computer, Loyalty Officer Rainbow Dash, your are promoted to Yellow, Rainbow Dash No. 1."

Applejack No. 5 grumbled.

Suddenly Fluttershy shouted. "I set off the bombs I bought from the black market right there! FOR THE Sierra club! For the bunnies!"

Everypony's jaw dropped, and stared at Fluttershy, who suddenly blushed and sat down.

"Uh . . . can I get another promotion for dying in the line of duty?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"This is why I joined The International Workers of the World instead... whoops." Pinkie Pie said, already marking off Pinkie Pie No. 3 and no.4 on her character sheet as Trixie announced her joining her previous clones in the Alpha Complex dust bin.

"All hail the First Church of Celestia, Computer Programmer. We love and worship our friend the computer," Rainbow Dash said.

"You will be vaporized . . . when your good friend the computer can get around to it sometime," Trixie said.

"This game has been totally fun! We should play some more!" Rainbow clapped her hooves.

Rainbow Dash got death glares all around.

Session 1.24 (Ardashir)

"Oh yes." Trixie grinned an evil grin. "Here is the new and improved laser rifle from Research and Development. Friend Computer INSISTS you use it on whatever dirty Hooviet mutant traitors you come across. It needs a field test."

"Uh, okay," Applejack looked at the smug Trixie. "Hey, how do we use this here rifle?"

"You are not cleared for that information. Asking for information above your security rating is..."

Applejack snorted. "Ah know! Ah'll clean up the ashes."

"Don't take it too badly, Applejack," Twilight said, mentally reminding herself to stay far away from anypony who used that weapon. "Maybe it'll be useful. I mean definitely! Definitely useful!" She flinched as Trixie turned a cold gaze on her. "In case we run across any dirty Hooviet mutant traitors! Which will never ever happen, because everypony in Alpha Complex loves Friend Computer! Heh."

"Dear, I am not getting near Applejack while she carries that thing." Rarity whispered to Fluttershy.

Some time later...

"Great job killing us all, Applejack!"

"What? How was AH supposed ta know that we'd get a laser rifle that fired in every direction at once?? What kinda dimwit makes a weapon like that, anyhow?"

"Calling Research and Development dimwits is --"

"AH SHOOT MAHSELF! There, Ah executed the traitor!"

Trixie blinked. "That's right. You did. Congratulations on your promotion, Applejack-Yellow-1!"

Session 1.25 (Richforce, The game here is based on the Shadowrun franchise.)

“What is the name of this game again?” Applejack asked Lightning Dust who had come over to mend fences.

“Nightrunner,” Dust answered. “It’s a skill based system in a world that mixes magic with advanced technology and mostly run by megacorporations. You take the role of a nightrunner who these companies hire to spy on and sabotage their rivals.”

“Sounds a little dark,” said Twilight.

“I usually play as a rebel of sorts, using the system to change it from the inside.”

“Looks cool to me,” said Rainbow Dash. “I think I’d like try for Street Samurai type skills, using cybernetics to kick flank sounds awesome!”

“Anything non-violent I can do?” asked Fluttershy.

“You could use Hacker skills,” said Dust. “They are very important, they can manipulate computer networks which are pretty much everywhere in this setting. Or you could go be a Face, they’re negotiators and confidence tricksters.”

“Oh, that sounds like fun!”

“And I like to be a hacker!” said Pinkie Pie.

“Looks like there a couple of different ways to use magic as well,” said Rarity. “I think I know what character I want so let’s begin when you are ready.”


Dust was sitting behind the game master’s screen. “Congratulations Fluttershy, you’re negotiation with the ghost in the basement server room had calmed her down and she is ready to pass on.”

“Oh that’s good,” said Fluttershy. “Twilight would please help her do that?”

“Sure,” said Twilight. “I open a portal so the ghost can pass on.”

“The ghost moves through the portal,” said Dust. “Unfortunately the energy from the spell has triggered the building’s mana detectors which in turn has set off the alarms. A squad of six Ork security guards storm into room and two security drones have been activated.”

“What sort of company hides cybernetic enhancement schematics in a hunted building and then loads it with orks and robots?!” asked Rainbow.

“One with something to hide?” said Pinkie.

“I head into cover,” said Fluttershy.

“I hide in servers and begin my hack,” said Pinkie.

“The system has three security layers over the data you’ve been hired to collect,” said Dust. “You’ll have to bypass them one at a time.”

“While orks shoot at us?” said Rainbow.

“Our job is to buy her time to get in and then make our escape,” said Twilight. “I erect an energy shield to protect Fluttershy and Pinkie. I know I won’t be able to use my spells to fight back while doing this but they need the help.”

“I attack the orks,” said Rainbow.

“And I help her after using my adept magic to improve my hoof-to-hoof combat abilities,” said Rarity.

“That’s good for the Orks,” said Twilight. “But those drones will be tough while I’m covering Pinkie and Shy.”

“And me,” said Applejack. “But don’t worry, I’m there to use my Rigger skills to take control of one of the drones.”

“That should even the odds,” said Rarity.

“Ok, your checks are successful,” said Dust. “Rainbow and Rarity has successfully inflicted damage on two of the orks, Applejack has control of the drone and Pinkie is past the first layer.”

“Great!” said Twilight.

“Don’t celebrate too soon. The next two layers only get harder to crack and other security is bound to be one its way from the corporate regional HQ.”

“Ok,” said AJ. “Ah’ll fire the drone’s minigun at the other drone. RD and Rarity will be attacking the guards again.”

“Beginning to hack second layer,” said Pinkie.

“Fluttershy why don’t you try getting the access hatch we came in back open?” said Twilight. “With the ghost gone it should be able to move.”

“Got it,” said Fluttershy.
The six's teamwork had knocked out two more Orks, destroyed the remaining drone and left one more layer of security.

“Ok working on that last layer,” said Pinkie.

“I have the last two guards,” said Rarity.

“And I attack the drone AJ’s holding back with my laser katana!” said Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow made a successful roll.

“Rainbow no!” said Twilight. “If a rigger is controlling a device when it is severely damage they lose consciousness!”

“Thanks a lot Rainbow!” said Applejack.

“So we just carry her out when we leave,” said Rainbow.

“Actually,” said Dust. “The destruction of the second drone triggers a total lockdown of the building. Pinkie was rendered unconscious when the server was shut down, heavy shutter doors closed off all paths to the outside including the access hatch and security forces are still on the way.”

“Ok,” said Twilight. “Since my portals only open to the spiritual plane when they get there I surrender myself to the security in hopes for leniency for my friends.”

“Same here,” said Fluttershy.

“I will as well since we’ll be outnumbered,” said Rarity.

“I would if I wasn’t knocked out,” said Applejack.

“Me too,” said Pinkie.

“Ok,” said Rainbow. “We have a corporate sponsor to point the hoof at. They could let us go for pointing the hoof.”

“The megacorp you work for would disavow any deals with you or knowledge of your actions,” said Dust. “I hope you have good lawyers.”

Session 1.26 (MtangaLion)

Maud Pie stared at the miniatures on the game board for a full minute before she spoke. "My bard tells King Daystar a joke."

Rarity blinked, but recovered quickly. "Roll a charisma check, darling."

Maud picked up the quartz 20-sided die, then blew on it, as if she'd just remembered that was a thing ponies sometimes did. She tossed it and rolled a twenty. Again.

Rarity twitched. "King Daystar laughs uproariously, impressed that a mere mortal could tell such a funny joke. He demands that you tell him another one!"

Maud rolled again. Twenty.

Rarity glared. "Daystar forgets to order the infantry charge because he's... ugh... rolling on the grass laughing his head off. Oh, but wait! His son, Prince Oppression, is offended that the joke was about him, and charges at you, sword drawn!"

Big Mac opened his mouth to say what his paladin would do, but Maud spoke first, not noticing him. "I step aside and trip him."

Rarity started grinding her teeth. "Dexterity check." Maud rolled *another* twenty.

Applejack grabbed the die, squinting at it. "Those rolls ain't natural, if ya know what Ah mean."

Rainbow Dash grinned. "I think that rock..." She slipped on a pair of tinted flight goggles. "... has a crush on her."

Big Mac sighed. "Eeeyup..."

Author's Note:

Session 1.0 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 1.1 (Ardashir,SomeRandomMinion)
Session 1.2 (Endrel1110 with edits by Alex Warlorn)
Session 1.3 (Kendell2,Ardashir)
Session 1.4 (Ardashir)
Session 1.5 (Ardashir)
Session 1.6 (Richforce)
Session 1.7 (BrutalityInc)
Session 1.8 (Ardashir)
Session 1.9 (Endrel1110)
Session 1.10 (Ardashir)
Session 1.11 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 1.12 (Ardashir)
Session 1.13 (Kendell2)
Session 1.14 (BrutalityInc)
Session 1.15 (MtangaLion)
Session 1.16 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 1.17 (Ardashir)
Session 1.18 (BrutalityInc)
Session 1.19 (Ardashir with edits by Alex Warlorn)
Session 1.20 (Richforce) (Based of a VG Cats comic, Dazzle belongs to MagerBlutooth)
Session 1.21 (Trooper924)
Session 1.22 (Endrel1110)
Session 1.23 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 1.24 (Ardashir)
Session 1.25 (Richforce)
Session 1.26 (MtangaLion)
Session 1.27 (Kendell2)
Session 1.28 (Alex Warlorn)

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