Session 62
Session 62.0 JD Miles
"So... can we all agree that we got our cupcakes handed to us?" Pinkie asked as the group of heroes-turned-villains stumbled into an abandoned Warehouse.
Their fight against the Power Ponies was downright embarrassing. Mainly due to the fact that once again, none of them how their powers worked. Thankfully a distraction from Pinkie Pie involving her Party Cannon and Boneless the 3rd gave her and her friends enough time to escape.
"No kidding, we got thrashed out there!" Rainbow Dash groaned as she pulled down her hood and mask.
Spike on the other hand continue to stare at the note with a puzzled expression. Not too long after they had entered the warehouse, the words seem to have vanished in favor of an arrow that changed direction whenever he walked...
And his friends continue to converse among themselves, he followed the arrow to an old locker and opened it up, revealing would appear to be a large book.
'Evil Overlord List: tired of being defeated by the do-gooders? This list will have you on the fast track to being the most genre savvy villain ever!'
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList
Taking a look inside the book, his smile grew wider and wider as he read through some of the instructions. With unrivalled glee he grabbed the book and ran back to his friends.
"I mean, how was supposed to have a chance against the heroes of this story? The heroes always win!" Twilight exclaimed in frustration, only for Spike to tap on the shoulder and show her the book.
"I think I've got an idea..."
Session 62.1 Alex Warlorn Mtangalion
Bright red, Fluttershy shouted, "FOR THE LAST TIME NO! I don't write lewd romance novels starring all f you in my spare time!! Not, not there's anything wrong with enjoying that of course. I"m judgmental of other ponies' tastes or anything!"
Rainbow Dash flew over, grinning naughtily and nudging Fluttershy. "Maybe you're too busy writing romance novels about other ponies. Aren't you... Midnight Heart?!"
"Dash!! Just because I have every one of her novels doesn't mean... eep!" Fluttershy galloped away, blushing even harder.
"You should totally come to Dusklight game night!" shouted Dash after her.
"Why'd you do that?" whispered Windy Whisper in Dash's ear. "You *know* it's not her."
Dash winked. "If I didn't loudly jump to conclusions in public, ponies would figure I really do know something."
Windy gawked. "That's... actually smart! Everypony, come quick! Alisa is impersonating Dash!"
"Har de har..."
"Blech, am I the only one in town who doesn't read those cheesy vam-pony books?" Spike said reading his comics only hearing Fluttershy's end of the conversation.
Session 62.2 Alex Warlorn Mtangalion
"HEY! Why do Luna's Witnesses get tax exemption for being a legal state recognized religion and we don't?!" Rose Luck shouted. "We Equalist Ponies are getting tired of being called a cult!"
A Diamond Wolf in a blue hat and cape stepped forward, getting the crowd's attention. "Why be equal? Come, hear teachings of Anasi, she'll make you Great and Powerful!"
But then a second wolf backed up Rose Luck. "Wolves don't need to be great or small. Equal is good!"
"Grrrrr! Traitor!" snarled the first wolf. "You reject Alpha, so pack threw you out! Go make trouble someplace else."
"And now I have a cult forming around me." Cadence sighed.
"It's not a cult dear, it's a new budding religion." Said Celestia with a smile.
Session 62.3 Alex Warlorn
Windy Whistles and Rainbow Dash Senior were staring daggers at each other, none too happy with sharing the same space, even if the records strangely showed they both had ownership of the house. The Doctor, Discord, and Princess Celestia all insisting they play a friendly game to get to know each other better. You think that would be easy if the game was something nice like Bunnies and Burrows, sadly, their game master was Angel Bunnie, would threw that out of the window.
But their competition was so fierce, it made even Angel cringe.
--
This enchanted comic version of Bleakest Oubliette seemed like a bad idea. But it was supposedly 'for charity' (what charity was debatable).
Blueblood The Abomination, along with Octavia Occultist (since a Vestal wouldn't adventure with an Abomination) and Vinyl The Bard, and Bon Bon Bounty Hunter, were now going through the Court Yard, a swam in the game's latest expansion.
Blueblood was surprised there was a lycanthrope in this game... except... his in game form was a skinny pony without any muscle to his name... on his head was branded 'A'! for abomination.
He was kinda of delighted to learn there were vamp ponies in this game, it would be nice to explore the differences in,
"THE BLOOD! I MUST HAVE BLOOD!" Buzzed the mutant aristocrat pony, eyes huge and a long blood sucking nose, stabbing Vinyl.
"I too must have a the blood!" Vinyl shouted.
According to the back story, Blueblood would learn, that the previous owner of the Estate, had met a countess who he intended to murder for fun, except she turned out to be a vampire and tried to kill him, only for him to stab her... and serve her blood to his fellow aristocrats, that turned into blood sucking insect like ponies. Where did the writers get this sort of thing?
Blueblood changed to his beast form... which was a furless wolf/demon hybrid from all appearances that terrified his own teammates..
-
"So why did you hate him so much if he created a new swarm for you?" Locust asked Queen Chrysalis.
"The jerk still stabbed me and drained my blood!" Chrysalis hissed.
Session 62.4 Alex Warlorn and BrutalityInc
Garble and his teenage dragon buddies had come to Flim and Flam (since they now own the rights to Star Mares) and wanted to do a Warhorse 40 Carrot/ Star Mares X-over. After Garble and his buddies had written about THEIR version of Equestria, and Flim and Flam were now making all the final decisions about Star Mares lore... it would be a match made in Tartarus... if it could make it past the beta testing stage.
Cue nerds raging and flame wars between fandoms aplenty.
8-Bit said, "Seriously? This 'Battle of the Empires' crossover is just bull-manure."
Shining Armor replied, "Yeah. EVERYBODY knows that the Imperium would win on the ground and in space on a tactical level, while the Empire had one over the Imperium in population, logistics, infrastructure and speed on a strategic level. Any war between them would end in the Empire's victory in the long run."
8-Bit concluded, "So the real question is: How would the Galactic Empire deal with the Aetherean, the daemons and worshippers of the six Chaos Gods, and the other powerful xeno races like the Terrornids, the Dao, the Troggz, the Nekorons, the Eldeer (Both Craftworld and Dark)..."
Session 62.5 Mtangalion (continues from Session 62.1)
Princess Twilight looked up from her copy of Stone, Ice, and Shadow: Magical Arts of the Diamond Dogs and smirked at Spike. "Oh, so now those novels are cheesy, but when they're an excuse to cuddle up to Rarity on Dusklight game night, they're okay?"
Session 62.6 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn ((continues from Session 62.3 )
Blueblood winced at the mess he'd just made of some random encounter monsters. "Well, now I shudder to imagine what Discord might have turned me into if he was still evil."
Vinyl lowered her shades, grinning manically. "I guess we all wonder about that sometimes," said the demonic cat riding on her shoulder, speaking for her (they weren't part of the game, but a special exception had been written in for Vinyl since her picogram magic couldn't work here). "Hey Bluey, did you ever read Beauty and the Beast?"
Blueblood stamped a hoof/paw/claw angrily. "That prince did nothing wrong!"
Octavia asked looking at the dark shadows completely covering Vinyl's eyes, "So why are everypony's eyes ALWAYS hidden in shadow in this game? I mean, us, the NPCs, everything except the monsters."
Bounty Hunter Bon Bon said, "I think it's to add to the grim ambiance."
Session 62.7 Kendell2
Game Notes:
Crystals and Rainbows is kinda a Genre Buster is a way. It's primarily a pony Harvest Moon style Life Sim combined with wide open sandbox exploration game with a big focus on making the world as beautiful as possible to make it worth exploring and a bit of building thrown in, with the possibilities for building your home being virtually unlimited. Playing with your friends and playing mini games is a major aspect of it as well, since it's literally impossible to find everything with a single tribe to promote co-op play.
In the final version there will be seven castles, each with importance to the lore and unique features and mini games: Friendship, Happiness, Family, Kindness, Music, Laughter, and Rainbows.
The available classes so far are Earth Ponies (fastest ground speed and can navigate rough terrain), Pegasi (can fly and navigate certain gusty areas others can't), unicorns (who have spells), Breezies (tiny and can go into places the others cannot), and Griffons (who fly slower than Pegasi but can detect scents for tracking things and finding things the others can't).
The main starting areas in Ponyland are Ponyville for Earth Ponies, Unicornia for Unicorns, Butterfly Island for Pegasi, Breezie Blossom for the Breezies, and Griffonstone for Griffins.
Currency is Friendship Points, which are earned by helping NPCs with things, winning mini games, and even doing kind things for other players. The unique thing is during racing mini games, you actually get LESS points for doing things like hitting your opponent to throw them off or other unsportsman things, and more for playing fair.
One big thing: the Cutie Mark system. IE, you gain enough experience in a certain trait, you can get a procedurally generated Cutie Mark in that trait...and can get a new one if you don't like it via a micro transaction or can submit one you made yourself for review and get it as yours for, again, a micro transaction. Griffons get a pendant like Griffon!Gabby got from the CMC.
They make a point of mentioning you can be a male from the very start, since WoH didn't let you be one from the start.
Session 62.8 QuartzScale
King Blackthorn looked on from his seat while he waited for former King Aspen to come in. It was another game exercise with the new head of a Changeling hive. This new king was still finding his place in the world Just as he was. Within the next few minutes both Princess Celestia and King Thorax had appeared alongside Aspen.
"Welcome friends. I hope your travels have treated you well."
"Of course King Blackthorn. Thanks for having us within your kingdom. I see we are to play a game today to keep our respective races on good terms."
"Of course King Thorax. Now Celestia what game did you have in mind?"
Twenty Minutes later...
"Right hoof yellow." Celestia droned out as the first spinner went.
Thorax stretched his hoof out barely managing to hold out by sheer luck. His leg was already hooked around Celestia’s hoof while Blackthorn had one of his limbs in the tangled mess. Each were fierce competitors in their own ways. There were several close calls throughout the game.
Aspen spun the next time due to Celestia being all tangled up already.
"Blackthorn, Left hoof red."
Blackthorn struggled to move his hoof from the tangled pile only a few inches to the next spot. While all tangled up each delivered on their iron will and managed to keep standing.
One hour later...
"Horn blue." Aspen worriedly said.
Celestia strained her neck as she managed to get it in place. They were all caught in a pretzel and it was necessary at that point to get help.
"Miss Raven Inkwell I trust you can find a worthy physician to help get this mess sorted out."
"Right away Sir Aspen. I’ll have to get the jelly ready..." Raven sighed out.
"Jelly?" Aspen questioned.
"Discord is finicky about what summons him. You wouldn’t happen to have any boysenberry and apricot spread would you...?"
Aspen stared at the pony before his former attendant Willow Reed brought what was required. It is said that there was uproarious laughter booming throughout the world as Discord managed to get all three leaders unhooked. There were also several pictures which circulated throughout the world of the game.
All Celestia did was smile as she finally managed to have fun without worrying about others.
"Thank you Sister for dealing with the press."
"No problem Sister. They know I know the law system better than them. Still stop giving me more paperwork when you want to have fun then."
Celestia chuckled as the last paper was burnt by Philomena.
Session 62.9 Mtangalion
Three pegasi skimmed through the upper slopes of a towering cumulonimbus, without gear, uniforms, or flight suits. Up here, the vast cloudscape seemed like a whole other world. The faintly multicolored ground was barely visible, and Wonderbolt HQ was a foal’s toy far below on the horizon.
"Over here!" called Spitfire, shouting to be heard over the wind. She landed on a relatively flat stretch, then pointed a wing. "You’re in the big leagues now, Crash. It’s time you learned more about what ponies on our level do for fun!"
Rainbow Dash landed close by, her hooves kicking up puffs of vapor. "This is gonna be great! I mean... I’m looking forward to it, ma’am!"
Spitfire nodded. "That’s what I like to hear. The game is hot potato! Clipper, if you’d do the honors?"
Soarin gave her a lazy salute. "On it!" He dove into the cloudscape, then carved out a large piece and lifted it up before he went to work. A shove here, a few bucks there, and soon he had a textbook miniature stormcloud.
What he did next definitely wasn't in any of the basic textbooks. Soarin posed his wings and thrust his forehooves at the cloud, stirring up a cyclone with nothing but wind magic and sheer will.
Rainbow’s jaw dropped as she watched the cyclone intensify, gathering the cloud up and squeezing it tighter and tighter until it formed a ball of violently gusting wind and crackling lighting no larger than a pony’s head. "Whoa, whoa!" she yelled, winging back from it. "That’s too much! One touch, and it’ll explode!"
Soarin laughed, and held the lightning ball aloft, floating a fraction of an inch over his hoof. "Not if you know how to handle it!" He tossed it easily from one forehoof to the other. "Ready, Chief?"
Spitfire hovered, smacking her hooves together. "Anytime you’re ready, Clipper."
Soarin wound up and threw it. The lightning ball made an unearthly keening wail as it flew past Rainbow. Spitfire snagged it out of the air, spun it on her hoof, then threw it back again. Soarin bounced it back in a high arc like a volleyball, and Spitfire slammed it back towards him again.
After another dozen rapid-fire bounces, Spitfire shouted, "Think fast, Crash!" and deflected the lightning ball straight towards Rainbow! Dash braced herself... and panicked at the last second, throwing her hooves in front of her face.
BOOOMFFFZAP!
Rainbow Dash twitched and sparked, her entire mane standing upright like a fright wig.
Spitfire tisked. "That’s probably going to happen a few more times before you get the hang of it. Rule number one..."
Rainbow coughed a few soot clouds. "Lemme guess. Don’t take your eyes off the ball."
Session 62.10 Ardashir (Note: Contains very mild spoilers about the upcoming MLP movie.)
The girls were playing Ogres & Oubliettes once more, right until Dash held up one hoof and said, "Hold it! C'mon, Spike!"
Groans circled the table, Spike's loudest of all. The mares set back, with Twilight rolling her hoof in a 'Get on with it' gesture as Dash flapped out of her seat and hovered over the table.
"Yeesh, what is it NOW? The battle against the big bad's chief lieutenant is just about to start! Can't this wait?" Spike set one claw on a new figurine on the table, a broken-horned, scarred, armored, deep crimson unicorn mare. "I was just about to start Crimson Storm's big speech! I practiced all night long!"
Rarity suddenly looked interested. "Crimson Storm? Thank you ever so for giving her true name to my sorceress, Spike dear."
"Not her true name," Spike puffed himself up as Rarity's smile faded. "You want that, you have to learn it in game."
"Yeah, an' she's the problem!" Dash pointed at the figure. "I mean, come on? Where did you get her? From some teenage foal's crazy self-insert story where they're the edgy villain who beats everypony, including Celestia?"
Spike looked ready to burst. Twilight quickly stepped in.
"Dash, what are you talking about? Okay, 'Crimson Storm' is an odd name, and she's scarred from past battles -- but if that made her 'some foal's edgy self-insert', half the Royal Guard would qualify."
"Oh please," Dash snorted. "Half the time we're saving the Royal Guard from the bad guys," now Twilight looked ready to explode, "but yeesh, that character!" Dash picked her up and examined the figure closely. "Look, dragons, shadow ponies, griffons, and giant spiders are one thing. But she looks as goofy as those brain thing Disc - I mean Fluttershy's friend once showed us!"
***
Many many hundreds of miles away, across the seas in another land...
A scarred, armored unicorn mare with a broken horn suddenly froze in the midst of a battle. Or more like a sack, as the Diamond Dog city fell around her and the odd apelike raiders with her. Two of them nearby stopped shaking the hefty nerdish Diamond Dog they were holding over an empty sack.
"Uh," one hesitantly said, making sure he had room to run if needed, "anything wrong, Commander?"
"Strange," she said in a husky voice. She shook herself, mane tossing, and added, "I had the oddest idea someone was mocking me." She looked back to the raiders. "Gone now. Get to work and take whatever he has."
"You heard her, boys!" Another ape-thing called out, one with white fur and an expression of wicked cheer that Discord would have once admired. "We're one a schedule, so hurry up. Chop-chop!" He clapped his hands together and strolled off, followed by several raiders bearing a few magical devices as well as several crates of diamonds, rubies, and emeralds for ballast.
The remaining ape raiders dropped their victim who scurried away as they looked at the mess of polyhedral dice and cards he'd left behind.
"See a Princess Celestia?" One asked. "Need it for a complete set."
Session 62.11 Mtangalion
Prince Blueblood sat alone in the rustic Ponyville bar where the whole wolf business had first begun, nursing a mug of hard apple cider. Well, alone except for the bartender, but hired help hardly counted. Macintosh hadn’t come looking for him, and Blueblood almost wished he had. Now he was alone with his thoughts, and yes, there was important thinking to be done, but Blueblood’s thoughts still weren’t very good company.
That mare... Rarity Belle. After he’d fainted at the game table, Rarity had made excuses for the prince’s ‘recent ill health’ before spiriting him away back to his hotel room. She’d understood the purpose of his cloak and taken care to keep him covered while he was outside, under the moon. Then, instead of satisfying her burning curiosity about wolfponies or demanding a favor in exchange, she’d wished him a good night and gone on her way.
"Element of Generosity, indeed," Blueblood murmured, staring off into the fireplace. He took another sip of cider. "Blast it all. Now I feel I owe her. Of course, she’ll deny it..."
Paying his debts would have to wait. There were other matters to attend, tonight if possible. "Luna," he muttered. "You knew that my foals would become wolfponies. You had to have known. Why did you not tell me?"
A voice, lurking in the back of his head like it had every right to be there, spoke: ‘Because I was selfish, and for that I deeply and sincerely apologize.’
Blueblood felt a hair-raising tingle down the back of his spine. He almost transformed on the spot before he got a grip on himself. "Am I dreaming?" he whispered.
‘Nay.’ No mistake, that was Luna’s voice! ‘In the tales of Dusklight, wolfponies are like my thestrals, created by and bound to my divine self. Did you not notice when you began swearing by me alone, and not by my sister?’
Blueblood had to put the cider mug down, slowly and carefully, lest he drop it... or purposely smash it. "Am I to understand that you deliberately put me in this intolerable position?!"
There was silence in his head, and then an ethereal sigh before she spoke again. ‘You are not the only pony who saw great potential in Discord’s boon at first, nephew. Long have I been fascinated by the world of Dusklight. I wished to truly know wolfponies, and I wanted you to experience that exalted state and not reject it immediately out of hoof. Know that if you choose to remain a wolfpony, secretly or even openly, we will stand by you with every resource we possess.’
Blueblood stood, ears set back. "And if it is my wish to be a wolfpony no longer? Will you cast me out, Princess? Scorn me for spoiling your fantasy and breaking this special bond?"
He felt a strange soothing coolness, a sense of calm and peaceful awe. ‘I am certain you know that I would do no such thing, my little wolfpony. May I call you that, while I may? Rather, you should hope that Discord does not choose to be petulant or stubborn about making you a pony once more.’
"I’ll have you know," said the bartender, "that I’m perfectly capable of dealing with situations like these in a mature and reasoned manner. I just choose not to!"
Blueblood realized that he was standing there, frozen in shock, as if he just been in a sudden and violent carriage accident. No, not quite frozen... He was shaking quite badly, in fact. He forced himself to turn his head, and saw that the stallion who’d served him that apple cider had yellow and red eyes and wild white eyebrows.
Of course, thought Blueblood, inwardly groaning. Naturally, he should have expected Discord to appear when he least expected it.
The pony with Discord’s face stepped out from behind the bar, leaving the mug he’d been polishing behind. The mug and washcloth stayed floating in the air, polishing away. "I’m rather disappointed in you, Bluey. I went to all the trouble of picking out a gift that I was certain you’d enjoy." He passed behind a coat rack, and Discord the pony vanished along the way, seamlessly replaced by Discord the Draconequus. "Oh, and how you enjoyed it!"
With a flash, Discord was right beside Blueblood, putting an arm around him and fluffing his mane in far too familiar a manner. "Buck the status quo, give me the power!" Discord proclaimed. "The size, the strength! The magnificent beastly ferocity! I want it and there’s nothing wrong with me having it and it’s mine, all mine!" He popped like a balloon, zipping and sputtering all around the room before appearing in another flash, pointing an accusing claw. "And then somepony realizes that there’s one little thing not to his liking, and oh, well, we can’t have that at all!"
‘Blueblood!’ shouted Luna. ‘Discord gave his word! If you ask resolutely, he must...’
Discord snapped his fingers, and Luna’s ‘voice’ in his head was cut off, replaced with lifelessly cheerful music. "Whoops, I put her on hold. One moment, please! Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line!" He snapped his fingers again, and the dreadful music ceased. "That’s much better. Now, you were saying? Oh, and I wouldn’t try that ‘fade to black and five minutes later I’m agreeing with everything you want’ trick. With me involved, goodness knows what might happen!"
Blueblood ground his teeth, tempted to become a wolf right there and lunge at the fiend... but he was only rattled and tired, not stupid. "You’re not wrong," he admitted. "Can you even know what it’s like, being mocked for having wealth and authority, but no true power, the way the princesses hold power? As the wolf, I’m a match for any ten of my royal guards. It’s unseemly to say so, but yes, Luna blast it, I’ve enjoyed it! Even now, I crave it!"
He stamped his hoof in frustration, putting an impressive dent in the hardwood floor. "But this cannot be. It isn’t even about my being a prince or the Blueblood name. I can make the decision to be a wolfpony for myself, but not for all the Bluebloods that come after me, to the end of time!"
Discord leaned close, sneering at the prince. "How noble of you." He drifted back a pace and lifted his claws, ready to snap. "If that’s your decision, then... Going once!"
This was for the best, thought Blueblood.
"Going twice!"
Finally, everything could get back to... normal.
"Going..."
"Wait!" Blueblood shouted suddenly, grabbing Discord’s claw. He struggled for words, mind racing. "You’re Discord! The great and mighty Spirit of Chaos! Why, you can do anything, your merest whim reality but with a simple snap of your claws..."
Discord blinked, and then he smirked and replaced the entire tavern with an awards ceremony. A phantom crowd cheered, imaginary cameras flashed, and Discord posed with a golden statue of himself, wearing a tuxedo and designer shades. "I’m not saying it will get you anywhere, but please, feel free to continue complimenting me!"
"You could change the terms and conditions of my curse!" said Blueblood, making his point quickly. "Make it so it’s not passed on."
"Oh, undoubtedly I could," mused Discord. The tavern returned in another flash. "I’m not going to, though. I mean, getting everything you desire without having to make any hard choices along the way? Where would be the fun in that?"
"Ah, but I know the author!" countered Blueblood. "I’ll have Midnight Heart write me a way out! For the right compensation, I’m sure she’d be willing to write an epic tale of a wolfpony on a journey of self discovery, leading to a secret spell which would..."
Discord posed with his smallest eagle claw touching the corner of his mouth. "How about NO? Could you honestly see me, the Spirit of Chaos, forced to continually update my art to conform to someone else’s continuity?" He fished a large pocket watch out of an invisible pocket. "Enough dawdling. You have exactly thirty seconds to choose and no more take-backs, starting... now!"
Blueblood paled. "But, surely..."
"Tick tock tick tock tick tock!"
Blueblood racked and racked his brains until almost the last second, before he finally blurted out, "Pony! Make me a pony again!"
The dreaded, fateful claw-snap came, and Blueblood slumped, feeling... diminished. Shaking a bit, he slowly made his way towards the tavern’s front door, then threw it open. Moonlight hit him full in the face, and... nothing happened. No change, no transformation, not even a tingle.
"So that’s it, then. I’m... cured." Blueblood couldn’t help but sigh. "I suppose... our business is concluded." He looked squarely at Discord, then bowed fractionally. "Thank you, sir, and goodnight." He trudged out the door and on his way.
But of course, Discord couldn’t let it go at that. Luna forbid he allow Blueblood his dignified exit. As Blueblood stalked down the moonlit street, trying to recall where the hotel had been, Discord reappeared, floating alongside him. "I must say, you’ve been a remarkably good sport about all of this."
Blueblood kept walking, stubbornly not answering him.
"I mean, the princesses read me the riot act." Discord lifted a crude hand-puppet of Princess Celestia. "Discord, how dare you have fun!" he said in a silly falsetto voice. Followed by a puppet of Princess Luna. "Obviously you want to be sealed in stone again!" Discord flicked the puppets away. "You, though! Not once tonight did you whine or call me names, or threaten to have me banished."
Blueblood stopped in his tracks, smiling ruefully. "I know my limitations, Discord. I’m no hero, no Alicorn. I have no magic jewelry, no mighty unicorn spells to blast you with. My words and my wits were all I had, in the end."
Discord scratched his chin. "Here’s a thought. Since you’ve been such a good sport, Bluey, how about a consolation prize?" The jeweled collar that Alisa had given to Blueblood in Icehome appeared, hovering before him.
Blueblood stared at it. "Oh, that thing. I suppose it will make a nice momento for the family museum..."
Discord just chuckled. "Put it on."
"What’s the point?" grumbled Blueblood. "I can’t wear that. It’s far too large for a pony." When Discord kept grinning at him expectantly, Blueblood looked at the collar again, getting goosebumps. "Surely you didn’t..." Blueblood lifted the collar in his magic and lowered it over his head...
And then Blueblood stretched and snarled and GREW, a wolf once more, with a collar that now fit him perfectly. More than that, his courtly vest and cloak fit him too, magically expanded to his new size. Immediately, he took the collar off again, just to confirm that he could and had changed back into his pony self, before he donned the collar and became a wolf a second time. "You!" he growled. "I can’t believe... After everything you put me through!"
Discord magicked himself into a Daring Do cosplay outfit, even playing a few bars of her theatrical theme song from thin air. "According to my research, this priceless relic, when worn by Prince Blueblood or one of his heirs, will transform the wearer into a mighty Diamond Wolf!" Discord flashed back to his usual self. "Enjoy."
Blueblood snorted and paced, leaving big pawprints that would startle more ponies than just the flower trio come morning. "You do realize, this gives me a whole new list of concerns to fret over. I’ll have to keep this collar secret and safe. Decide who can be trusted to know about it. Choose which one of my eventual heirs is worthy to have it after me!"
Discord grinned, kneading his claws. "Just the sort of clever scheming you live for. Am I right?"
Blueblood grinned back confidently, fangs gleaming. "Just so." A warm breeze blew, and the moon still shone clear and bright above the clouds, perfect for a run on the fringes of the Everfree before morning, when duty would call once more. His tail was already wagging, just thinking of it. "This is going to be a good day."
Session 62.12 Alex Warlorn
Fluttershy had been sent a maid dress with polite instruction to put in on. She had done so, and was instantly hypnotized into a loyal servant maid and made her way to the mansion that may or may not have been the day before. Angel saw this and told the rest of the mane six had happened. The heroes and instantly made their way to the manor.
The manor was built like a fortress. They'd each made their own way inside. Rarity had put on a maid dress to disguise herself as one of the maids, but the dress became enchanted and she became a happy maid like Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash had tried the front door, brute force, only to run into the statues who had blasted her, making a happy maid who dusted the statues darlings.
Twilight had teleported in, only to wind up in the maid closet, the dresses coming at her from all directions and finding teleporting out impossible, Twilight had walked out another happy maid.
Applejack
"Now now, you know this is what you want more than anything, this is what you all want more than anything, so why fight it? Doesn't serving other make you happy?"
The Master of the house had asked, and her swirly eyes enchanting Applejack. "Yeah... it's so totally what Ah want Master."
"And you'd rather speak with a French accent wouldn't you?"
"Oui maîtriser, this humble Femme de ménage will happy serve toi!"
And that left Pinkie Pie, her friends crowded around her, hugging her, filling her with the joy of being a happy maid who happy served the Manor Master.
--
"And that's that." Starlight said with a smile at the game table.
"Uh, there a way to actually, WIN?" Applejack asked rather awkwardly.
"Well, the rules say that if any of you get away without being transformed and brainwashed, that it counts as a complete loss. The score for me is based on how quickly and completely I turn you all into happy maids." Starlight explained. "The last one to go is to act as Mansion Master for the next game and set up the traps and maids accordingly."
"Oh."
"Who MADE this game?!" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Well, it says on the back: 'for everypony out there who likes being turned into a happy cute maid or turning others into happy cute maids.'"
"There's a market for that?!"
"Apparently."
Session 62.13 Kendell2
"Trixie, what are you doing?" asked Rainbow Dash, noting Trixie hadn't moved her Rogue character for about 20 minutes, seemingly just in a random room of the castle of the Evil Overlord villain of the RPG.
"Just wait..." Trixie said, giving an insidious smirk, as all she did was perform a spell to stack another attack buff. Which she'd done for the last five turns.
The group continued this way for a few more turns...
"Trixie stabs Lord Malefic in the back," Trixie finally said with a smirk.
"What?!" was the universal reaction.
"Twilight always moves the NPC pieces on daily routines while we're playing," Trixie said with a proud smile. "Malefic just went into his room, took off his armor, and was about to go to bed, Trixie's been waiting in his bedroom stacking damage buffs all this time."
Twilight blushed. "I didn't think any of you had noticed that!"
"Trixie did!" the showmare said proudly.
As Trixie had customized her rogue explicitly for maximizing her backstab, and she got a critical on Malefic while he wasn't wearing his armor (Of DOOM!, as Spike insisted on calling it), she silently killed him instantly.
"YES! TRIXIE WON! ALL PRAISE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!" Trixie proclaimed in her usual way.
"Congrats...now you're stuck in Malefic's chamber with guards standing at the door as they always do until he emerges," Twilight explained. "How are you going to escape.
Trixie froze. "...Worth it."
OOC: I admit, part of me imagines that Trixie manages a great escape...or escapes by wearing Malefic's armor...only for it to be corruptive in nature and make her the replacement Big Bad...which Trixie being Trixie, doesn't really mind. Anyone want to pick up on that please do.
Session 62.14 Alex Warlorn
"These time distillation enchanted comics are a disaster!" Princess Twilight exclaimed. "Allow them on the market was a horrible mistake!"
"NO! NO! EQUESTRIA IS THE DREAM! I AM THE DARK LORD OF NETHER-WHERE! THE FIFTH LAYER OF THE UNDER-DARK! MY MONSTER ARMIES ARE VAST! THE OVERWORLD'S HEROES TREMBLE AT MY NAME! I AM A QUEEN!" Trixie shouted as she was dragged away, having spent a compressed 100 hours in the Overlord Enchanted comic as the protagonist.
"Indeed Twilight Sparkle," Princess Celestia said. "You should stop this nonsense and come back to reality."
"What you mean?!... Did I ... Did I dream being friends with Trixie?"
"Yes. You also dreamed making friends with Starlight Glimmer. Being a Princess. Defeating Discord. Defeating Sombra. Defeating Nightmare Moon. Making six friends. Defeating Tirek. Having a big brother. Being accepted in Celestia's school of gifted unicorns. And being a pony."
"Wait-what?"
Twilight found herself human in a straightjacket in a faded room.
"AAHHHHHHH!!!!" Spike, Trixie, and Starlight Glimmer, were awakened from their dreams of Sir Spike rescuing Princess Rarity, of turning out to be descendant from Starswirl the Bearded, and arguing taxes on sunlight with tulips respectively, by the wailing of Princess Twilight Sparkle. And disrupting Owlowcious' midnight snack of sautéed field mice.
Meanwhile in the human world
Vice Principle Luna, (and a PHD in dream analysis), sat next to Twilight Sparkle as she lay on the couch.
"So how long have you been having this nightmare that you're entire life is a virtual reality escape programmed by alien horses?"
Session 62.15 Mtangalion
Lyra Heartstrings trotted in place excitedly, her hooves ringing on the crystal floor of Starlight’s study in Twilight’s castle. "So, when can you do it?"
Starlight Glimmer looked up from her book. No, not a Dusklight book. Starlight suspected that Twilight was teleporting all of her library’s Dusklight books to the actual moon as fast as they could arrive in the mail. "That wasn’t a theoretical question? You really want me to turn you into a human? I don’t know..."
"But, but... humans have hands!"
"Okay, okay, calm down! Let me check the list." Starlight lit her horn, and a hovering scroll flashed into existence.
Lyra trotted closer and read the title upside-down. "Things that Starlight Glimmer is Not Allowed to do with Magic? There’s an actual list?"
Starlight kept skimming the list. "Three guesses who wrote it. Ugh, Twilight’s been adding more things behind my back." Her eyebrows shot up. "Starlight may not summon cookie-loving fiends from the Darkness Beyond the Deep? I didn’t even know that was a thing, and now I really want to do it!" She unrolled the list until the scroll trailed halfway across the room. "Here it is... No turning ponies into humans. Sorry, Lyra."
"Aww! Wait, what about griffons? They have hands too!"
"Claws. Technically, that’s not on the list... Oh, what the hay." Starlight charged up her magic and blasted Lyra.
Before the smoke even cleared, a mint-green songbird / snow leopard griffon flew out, doing a midair somersault. "Yes yes yes!!" squealed Lyra Griffonstrings, wiggling her talons. "I can’t wait to show everypony in town my new hands!" She darted right out the open second-story window.
"Claws!" Starlight shouted out the window. She sighed and glanced around, trying to remember where she left her book. "Maybe now I can get back to-" She turned her head and found herself nose to nose with Bon Bon. "Ahhhhh! When did you..."
"Why did you have to go and do that?" demanded Bon Bon. "Never mind... you might as well turn me into a griffon too. Someone has to stop Lyra from waving her claws in everypony’s faces."
Starlight twitched. "Um, okay, I guess?" She fired off the same spell, then watched Bon Bon the pale yellow and pink canary / purrsian blue kitty griffon fly off after Lyra.
"Huh," mused Starlight to herself. "Those were some pretty exotic griffons. I wonder if other ponies..." She shook her head furiously. "Nope! More experimentation means more griffons, means more chances for Twilight to get mad and put this one on the list too."
She trotted over to the window, looking down at Ponyville. All those ponies, just waiting to become her eager test subjects... "No. I mean it, me! Two griffons was one too many. Heck, two was two too many." She trotted herself right back to her comfy chair, picked up her book... and stole another glance at the window, starting to grin. "Eh, what’s the worst that could happen?"
Gilda came in for a landing on the outskirts of town and drew in a deep breath of fresh air. "What’s up, ponies? How’s it hanging in... Ponyville?"
"Look, hands!" squealed griffon Lyra, swooping past.
"Claws!" yelled an angry Bon Bon, diving after her.
"Don’t eat me!" cried Button Mash, huffing and puffing as he galloped away from both of them.
Dinky the griffon fledgling giggled, zipping through the air. "Mommy, look! I can fly with you now!"
"You come right back this instant, young lady," shouted the Doctor, pulling a lasso out of a pack as he galloped after her.
Scootagriffon cringed at her small wings, then looked up at Sweetiegriffon and Griffon Bloom, flying in circles with Gabby. "Aw, come on!!"
Griffon Tree Hugger glided lazily past, flying upside-down. "I’m, like, not even under a spell. I just went with the metaphorical flow of the cosmos, you know?"
Gilda face-clawed, hard.
Later that morning, four griffons sat around one of the big tables at Sugarcube Corner. Gilda banged her fisted claws on the table. "And that’s why I think we oughta do something cool together, just us griffons that hang out in Ponyville. Not ponies turned into griffons, not humans turned into griffons, just griffons! Cause we’re awesome griffons, dang it, not the punchline to whatever lame thing Starlame Glimmer did this week!"
Gabby pecked at her clawsant and finished up the last two bites. "Mmm... Sounds fun!"
Gerulf sat in another chair, once again wearing the Idol of Astra, which allowed him to shrink himself down to the size of a common griffon. "Technically, I’m a Grand Griffon, young ones. And I don’t exactly ‘hang out’ ... I’m in town to discuss an exchange of knowledge between our peoples with Princess Twilight."
"That still counts!" said Gilda, grinning. "I mean, you’re like a griffon plus. Griffon squared! Even more awesome than awesome!"
Gerulf laughed. "I’m not using the Idol to grow you into a giant again, Gilda."
"Bah. Can’t blame a hen for trying!" Gilda looked over at Gerold, who’d been awkwardly fidgeting and fluffing his wings the whole time. "What’s your deal?"
"Um... I’m Gerold. From the hospital, remember?" He scratched his neck feathers, looking anywhere but directly at Gilda. "I was dating the other you from the human world. Actually, I might still be dating her. I mean, it’s been a while since we hung out and, uh..."
"Geez, awkward," said Gilda, patting Gerold on the back and not noticing how he relaxed and cooed at the touch of her claws. "Let’s not mention that again. So!" She clapped her claws together. "What awesome cool griffon thing should we griffons do?"
Gerold shook himself out of his daze, sighing. "We could go hunting. That always cheers me up." He licked his beak. "A nice juicy deer..."
Gabby winced. "Maybe this isn’t a good time. The talking deer got mad and had a protest at Town Hall last week, even though we've been making sure to hunt the not-talking ones."
"Cattle?" suggested Gerulf.
Gilda was already shaking her head. "Gotta fly a ways to get to any wild herds, and a lot of the local cows don’t even mind being eaten. You might as well just go to the meat restaurant at that point."
"How about fish?" said Gerold, getting annoyed. "Are mice okay? Did those start talking too?"
"Only near Fluttershy’s cottage," said Gabby.
The four griffons looked at each other uncomfortably.
"Okay, forget that," said Gilda. "Let’s fight! Yeah, we could have a big ol’ tournament and spar while the ponies pay us bits to watch!"
Gerulf shook his head. "I’m sworn to protect tiny mortal griffons, not fight them."
"Please, not fighting!" moaned Gabby. "I’m just no good at fighting." When the others gave her astonished looks, she added, "What, did you think I was amazing at everything?"
"Yes," said Gilda and Gerold without hesitation.
Gerulf lifted a claw. "I have it! We could play ‘Taunt the mortal ponies and sit on their puny castle!’" Then he remembered where he was, and blushed slightly. "Or not."
Gilda grinned, leaning towards him. "We could if you..."
"Still not making you a giant."
"Tease!"
Gabby raised her claw. "Guys! There’s still one thing we could definitely do!"
The others tilted their heads, listening.
"There you are, Dash!" Princess Twilight landed in front of Sugarcube Corner and followed her friend inside. "Did something happen while I busy reshelving? Everypony in town keeps giving me the strangest looks, and now I can’t find Gerulf, and I was supposed to meet with him an hour ago and..."
"Shh!" Rainbow Dash grinned, and pointed towards the big round table in the corner.
Gilda grinned from behind an Oubliette Master’s screen, kneading her claws. "You climb up to the fourth floor of Lord Blackhoof’s tower. There’s two earth pony guards playing dice, and they haven’t seen you yet."
"I guard the door behind us, in case we were followed!" proclaimed Gerulf.
Gabby covered her giggle with a claw. "I stay out of sight and bandage Gerulf’s wounds."
"I slip into the shadows," said Gerold excitedly. "I’m gonna sneak up, knock one of ‘em out, and hold the other at knifepoint... Wait, scratch that! I check for traps first!"
"Too slow!" cackled Gilda. "Roll for evasion!"
Session 62.16 Alex Warlorn
"Princess Luna?!"
"Hello Windy Whisper, the inhabitants of my moon have for some reason become loving Dusklight fans, and wold like you to be referee for one of their LARPing sessions."
"Why me?" Windy Whisper lamented.
"It's no stranger than the giant robot manega phase they went through. Some are still fans."
Session 62.17 Kendell2
Button Mash still had quite a few 'wishes' from Discord from that time he got him out of his restraining order to Chrysalis (his mother had made the Spirit of Chaos promise him a number of wishes proportional to his gaming performance, and Button had proven a GOOD champion). This time, it was creating his own little harmless Manecraft pocket dimension in the back of his closet for himself and Sweetie Belle. They couldn't actually get hurt, so why not? Though his mom forced Discord to install a 'come to dinner, do your homework, ect.' bell.
His mom sometimes played in there with him, but usually Sweetie Belle. It was pretty fun...
"Ah!" screamed Button as a Creeper blew up in their front yard (though he survived)...but all they had was stone to fix it up with, so now they had a stone patch in the yard...
Sweetie Belle had gone mining (looking for diamonds, though could only fine one or two)...and then got lost underground. Again. This was like the second time since they'd started this world. The first time she'd dug her way out into the bottom of the ocean (a surprisingly easy thing to happen if you weren't paying attention). This time she ended up with her entire inventory filled to the brim with waste materials from just trying to escape! She made note to make a sign and label that place the 'Pit of No Return'. Granted, she could just 'log out' any time she wanted but her situation when she came back would be the same.
She decided to just dig straight up, fearful of digging into lava (first rule of Manecraft after all, don't dig straight up or down)...and ended up underwater again. Swimming up however, she surfaced next to Button...in their house...in the indoor pool they'd made out of a naturally spawning lake...on the SECOND FLOOR.
"...Sweetie? What happened?" Button asked.
'Sweetie Belle left the game'.
OOC: Made based off some stuff discussed with Alex.
Session 62.18 Kendell2
FINALLY Button and Sweetie had managed enough Obsidian to reach the Nether.
"Now remember..."
"I know! Be careful while mining glowstone and watch out for Ghasts!" Sweetie replied, rolling her eyes.
"Just making sure...alright, let's go!"
The two stepped through the portal into the fiery, Tartarusish realm...
And found themselves on a ledge overlooking a several mile drop into the ocean of lava. Even if they COULD survive the fall, it'd basically be instant death...
"...Sweetie Belle, do you still have all that cobblestone from the Pit of No Return?" asked Button Mash.
Session 62.19 Ardashir
"So, Rainbow," Twilight gave her friend a hesitant look. Dash had a slightly loopy grin on her face. Her friends looked on in concern as the alicorn said, "Are you sure you want to play with us tonight? You just went through three hours of dental surgery..."
"After crashing into a stone mountainside head on," Rarity added. "Were you sure that was a good place to try your latest stunt?"
Dash laughed a bit wildly and waved one hoof in the air.
"Aw, I just shoulda remembered not to try a Sonic Rainboom in high-level fog," she smiled, revealing a gap in her upper jawline. "Didn't feel a thing; man those new painkiller and nerveblocker spells are great!"
"Didn't they test some o' them out on ya a year or so ago, after the big accident ya had then?" Applejack asked, wincing at the memory. "Ya ended up in th' hospital for a month.Ya said ya saw things, like Rarity turnin' inta a Nightmare an' a bunch o' sea ponies swimmin' around the room an' turnin' Spike inta some big fat spiky fish."
"Hah!" Dash reached out and set her hoof on her friend's mouth. "Ya kiddin? I feel great! I don't need ta rest..."
"Um, Dash, you have your hoof on my mouth." Fluttershy managed to say around a blue hoof.
"Anyway!" Dash removed her hoof. "Let's get playin'. Hey, maybe if the stuff kicks in again I'll actually see the monsters running around the table." She failed to notice her friends looking around in sudden dread, but when no cackling draconequus appeared, they relaxed and began to game.
Only to freeze as yet another pony raced into the room.
"Twilight!" Starlight, smiling and looking delighted, galloped up to her mentor. "You won't believe what I did now!"
"What now?" Twilight muttered under her breath, before saying brightly, "No! What did you do, Starlight?" Beside her, Rainbow Dash smiled somewhat crookedly on the whole scene.
Starlight smiled and pointed at the door.
"That!"
The Mane Six turned. And looked.
And froze in horror.
"No!" Dash screamed, throwing her hooves up in horror. "No! I'm having a bad reaction to the spells! It's gotta be!"
"Isn't it great?" Starlight said. "Now I really can make everypony equal. By turning them all into Alicorns! Just like him! Now he's a winner instead of a dolt." She pointed to the stallion behind her. "Twilight? Twilight! Oh, she must be overcome by joy to have fainted like that."
Twilight's groan of horror came from the floor, joined by similar ones from Rarity and Applejack. PInkie seemed frozen, her mane deflating. And Fluttershy's eyes were rolling in two different directions at once as the alicorn stallion entering the room spoke.
"Hello, ladies!" Zephyr Breeze whinnied as he strode into the room. He looked bigger than Big Mac, his wings were magnificent, and a horn curled out from his forehead. "Hey, Dashie, baby!" He teleported to her side. "I'm the latest Prince of Equestria; and I need a consort!"
He smiled and batted his eyes at her.
With only a scream to show she'd even been there, Rainbow Dash sonic rainboomed out the nearest window.
Behind her, in the dust and wreckage, Starlight scowled at the pony entering the room.
"I said this wasn't funny, Trixie!"
"Trixie has to disagree!" The showmare laughed and pointed at the pegasus-shaped hole as 'Prince Zephyr Breeze' vanished. "Trixie thinks this is the best prank she has played in years!"
Session 62.20 Alex Warlorn
Fluttershy smiled and nodded from behind the game master screen. "Well Diamond Tiara, you've regained the power to speak to ponies and learned that monsters all just stranded in the land and ponies are just hurting them for being different, you can-"
"I tell the royal guard everything I learned about the monsters! All their strengths and weaknesses and where they're most vulnerable!"
"... What?"
Diamond Tiara shrugged, "What do you mean 'what?' We're at war."
Spoof of Crusader of Centy for the Sega Genesis.
Session 62.21 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir
Rainbow Dash sighed with a grin. "Ah orcs, if only they valued life and peace like we do, then we wouldn't have to go to war and kill so many of them."
The Orc addressing the rest of the horde, while holding Fluttershy up by the tail said, "'Ere now, boys, looks like we's having 'orse meat tonight!"
Fluttershy whispered, "Excuse me, Uh, I really don't want to be eaten!"
"Meat doesn't talk. Bad meat."
"Oh! Sorry!"
Applejack spat an apple out of her mouth. "FLUTTERSHY! Ya don't apologize ta the sidewinder tryin' ta eat ya!" She would say more but the apple was stuffed back into her mouth by the Orc chef.
The Chef said, "Don't you go ruining my dinner, ya' nasty 'orse!" He Pointed at nearby sign.
It read, 'Tonight's Dinner -- Pureed Pegasus, Roast 'Orse, Unclean Unicorn.'
Rarity snarled, "Unclean?!? Moi? What does that even mean?"
Pinkie Pie shrugged from behind the screen. "I dunno, it was the first 'u' verb I thought of! Maybe the orcs are gonna cover ya with orc booze first? The little orcs look happy that it'll be horse meat for dinner tonight and hold up their plates high and give out happy cheers."
Rainbow Dash nodded, "Don't worry girls! I'll save you! I'll set fire to their school hut first to distract most of the able bodied adults."
Rarity wondered if that was an ancient griffin tactic Rainbow got from Gilda. That wasn't prejudice was it?
Pinkie Pie smiled and nodded, "Okay, Dashie. You dive on the school hut and..."
Rainbow Dash winced as she rolled a '1'.
"LEMME GO! YA LITTLE CREEPS!"
"'Yay!'" Pinkie called from behind the screen. "And the little orcs cheer as they cart you off in their net to the bonfire, 'Orcspawn Pony Dinner Catchers!'"
One of the orcs busily basting Rarity with orc ale smiled wiped away a tear. "That's m' boy. They grow up so fast."
Session 62.22 Mtangalion
It took Princess Twilight a few minutes to realize that the strange ringing sound in her castle halls was coming from her magic book, and not the mobile phone that Sunset Shimmer had loaned her. "Oh, that’s right!" she mused. "Sunset called me on the phone and complained that I never answer my book promptly, so I cast an audio alert spell on my book and... I probably should have given the book a different ‘ring tone.’ Heh..."
Still blushing a bit, she magically flipped through the book and read, ‘Princess Twilight, there’s something here that you really ought to see. -- Sunset’
Twilight raised an eyebrow, then levitated a quill and ink and wrote, ‘Sunset, we talked about this. If I keep meeting my other self...’
The book vibrated, and started ringing again, making Twilight grimace. "I definitely have to change that spell."
Sunset’s next message read, ‘Nothing bad will happen! But nevermind that, you really need to see this for yourself...’
Twilight smirked. ‘Sunset, are you really going to keep me in suspense for the thirty minutes that it would take me to leave a note, go through the portal, and reach that address... when you could just tell me now?’
Sunset wrote, ‘Spoil all the drama, why don’t you? Okay, fine. It’s your castle.’
Princess Twilight made it there in twenty-five minutes, even having to deal with walking on two legs and the crazy purple knee-boots that the portal insisted on giving her. "What... Why..."
Right in the middle of a cozy Canterlot City suburb, someone had built a sprawling three story building with a blue and purple crystal exterior. The billboard out front read "Friendship Castle Games and Amusements," and the sign next to it proclaimed, "NOW OPEN!"
"Why is this here?" blurted out Twilight. "It looks like it belongs in a ritzy upper Canterlot neighhood... or in Las Neighgas! Don’t humans have zoning laws? It doesn’t match the rest of the neighborhood at all!"
Sunset just gave her an insufferably smug grin, waggling her eyebrows.
"What!? It’s not like I got to pick what MY castle would look like. What do you think? Is this just one of those things, or did Discord go all in on a prank?"
"That’s what I plan on finding out," said Sunset.
After the receptionist issued them some Friendship Castle game cards, and Sunset paid to put some human money on them, Sunset and Princess Twilight had free access to the rest of the game center. The whole first floor was one big video arcade, every machine brand new.
Canterlot’s infamous Crusaders were there with Sweetie’s boyfriend Button Mash, but the girls were having too much fun with the latest Prance Prance Revolution machine to notice them. Button grinned and waved hi before getting back into his song, without missing a beat.
"Look at that," said Sunset, speaking up to be heard over the crowd. "It even has a Friendship Dungeon."
"Gah! It’s not a..." Princess Twilight froze, reading the sign by the stairs leading down. ‘Get your RPG on in the Friendship Dungeon! Featuring hosted roleplaying events, and comfortable roll your own adventure rooms with snacks and reference books provided.’ She laughed awkwardly. "I... guess it is a Friendship Dungeon."
"What are YOU guys doing here?" said an unexpected voice, giving them another surprise.
There was Sour Sweet, tapping her foot, with Sugarcoat on her left.
On her right... Sunset gasped, recognizing the odd cosplay girl from CrystalCon, now wearing a Crystal Prep uniform. "Alisa?"
The short girl’s face lit up. "Alisa’s really surprised, she didn’t plan this at all!"
"Oh, friends of yours?" said the fourth member of their group, a handsome ivory-skinned boy, also wearing a Crystal Prep uniform, with blond hair, a compass rose badge, and a class president ribbon.
"Blueblood?" gasped Princess Twilight.
Blueblood gave her a self-assured grin. "You’re looking well, Sparkle. I daresay, your sense of style has improved immeasurably. Perhaps transferring to a new school was the right move for you after all."
"That’s not the Twilight you’re thinking of," said Sugarcoat. "That’s..."
Sour Sweet put a hand over her mouth. "Sugarcoat, what did we talk about?"
Blueblood seemed puzzled, but dismissed it quickly. "We were just about to try out a new expansion to the O&O Equestria campaign setting. What was it called... Ah, yes. Wolfpony: The Unmasking. Perhaps you ladies would care to join us?"
Session 62.23 Alex Warlorn
"Okay Lord Murder! We're here to stop your evil rampage!" Rainbow Awesome Dash! said heroically, dressed up shinny silver armor and a long flowing cape and a beautiful golden sword.
"Ah!" Said Lord Murder, a towering green skinned figure with pimples and fangs, his glowing red eyes giving a glint of cunning. His black armor was covered in spikes. "But tell me Rainbow Awesome Dash!? Would you be a hero without me? Would you ever be able to save anypony if not for me? Good cannot exist without evil! Defeat me and cease to be a hero!"
Rainbow Awesome Dash! raised an eyebrow. "... That's stupid. Ponies don't need some jerk going around killing them to be nice to each other. I didn't need some loser hurting ponies for me to inspire them! My friend Fluttershy is still nice to ponies even though Gilda isn't a jerk to everything that move anymore! That's just an excuse for jerks, by jerks, so excuse themselves for being jerks!"
In Twilight's library, the Enchanted Comic of Dark Half, a classic by Cube-Circle never officially released outside of Neighpon, sparked and shuddered.
"Oh, not again!" Spike lamented. "Twilight! Can't you just go with the flow for once?!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Whao! Wait, if you're not in there-"
The comic forcibly flipped open, and spat out Rainbow Dash, flipped closed, its colors turned dull, and teleported away.
"Okay, and I thought only Twilight could make an Enchanted Comic actually crash. I mean with how much Gilda took that Hearth Warming Eve comic off the rails..."
"Do I get my money back for the rent if that happens?" Rainbow asked.
"No, not really, I checked," Twilight said sadly.
Session 62.24 Alex Warlorn
Meanwhile, in the game World of Horsecraft, the human Gilda, playing a Griffin, cheered as she got the rare drop from a limited time dungeon raid she was testing for release.
"Yes!" Gilda flew on top of her new giant mecha scorpion, complete with sharp claws and laser tail. "Now my deadly new weapon! Let's go and... cause... havoc...? Hey! How do I fire the laser and operate the claws!?"
"Oh you didn't know?" Gabby The Intern said helpfully. "It was decided that would break the game, they're just there to look cool, it's just a regular ground mount, not a tank."
Gilda's long string of words were automatically censored by the cussing filter in place. Gabby was worried they'd have to scrub the serves with soap later to clean out the filth.
Session 62.25 Ardashir
(Another mild movie spoiler. Be warned.)
"And there you are, standing before Crimson Storm, her hapless prisoners!" Spike said with an evil grin. The ladies looked worried as he said, "Her cape flaps in the wind! The torchlight glistens on her black iron armor and in her cold eyes! She grins at you wickedly, and asks, 'So! Anypony recognize me?'"
"Huh?" Six mares said as one.
"What does she mean, 'recognize'?" Twilight looked over at a nearby pile of comics and -- she shuddered -- pulp magazines. "Spike! Which of those gave you this idea?"
"This is my idea," Spike loftily responded. "I have some originality, you know. Now, are you answering her, or just sitting there in your shackles, wing restraints, and horn locks?"
"I'll answer her," Dash said. She jumped up into the air and pointed her hoof dramatically. "I say, 'Why should we recognize you? We never even saw you before you started conquering Ponyland, you fiend!' What?" She looked around at five disbelieving ponies. "Hey, 'fiend' is a great word! Ponies use it to describe Auitzotl all the time in Daring Do."
"Anyway!" Spike says. "Crimson Storm laughs and says, 'So, you've forgotten Crimson Shine already?'"
"Who?"
"Ugh!" Spike pointed at their character sheets. "You said I could come up with background elements this time? You all studied at the Ponyland Heroes Academy, remember? Only one student ever got expelled, because her horn got broken when she tried cheating that one time?"
Rarity's eyes lit up. "So Crimson Shine the maimed unicorn became Crimson Storm, the ruthless warlord?"
"That's right! I mean," Spike took a deep breath and did his best villain voice. "'Don't you all remember how everypony turned their backs on me, just because my broken horn reminded you what could happen if we were careless? How my 'friend' abandoned me?'"
"But we'd never do that!" Pinkie Pie leaped up on the table. She looked shocked. "When Dashie broke her wings we didn't send her away!"
Spike faceclawed. "Not YOU, Pinkie, your characters. And besides, Crimson Storm is the villain? She may have a self-serving memory." Abashed Pinkie sat back down. "So! Crimson Storm says, 'You rejected me, but now I am the master! You cast me out, made me an outcast, and I just wanted to say...'" Spike jumped up on the table and began walking closer and closer, trying to look as intimidating as he could. Twilight and the rest found themselves flinching back as he came closer. "And she says -- 'Thank you so very much!'"
"What?" Twilight blinked. "She's thanking us for chasing her away?"
"'Yes! If I'd stayed, I would have just been another Ponyland 'hero', a shepherd to ungrateful sheep. I'd have spent my days with tea parties and silly nonsense like that. Instead I have become the greatest warlord in the world! Entire nations shudder at the mention of my name; and I have your ostracism to thank for that!' And sparks come from her broken horn as she says it!" Spike threw his head back and laughed as wickedly as he could.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Little heavyhoofed, Spike."
"Aw, come on, it's not like this could ever happen for real."
That very night, hundreds of miles to the south, a broken-horned unicorn mare in the midst of a massive airship flotilla looked northwards. Towards Equestria.
Cold sparks played along her horn as she whispered one word, her eyes icy with hate.
"Soon."
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Well now. This makes things interesting.
Clever.
What's the difference?
And I don't think there's much in the 40K universe that can resist a lightsaber through the face or being Force Choked.
Discord you son of a bitch.
Sounds like the flimsy plot of a meh hypno clopfic.
That's worse French than Lopez's Spanish.
I see...
I got nothing. This just did my job for me.
Clever.
No.
See that makes little enough sense for it to be a dream.
I'm done.
8329099
For starters, my religion has never DEMANDED I give them all my money.
8329623
It was a joke. Not my best one, granted, but still.
Ever heard of Virgin Meat?
Crystals and Rainbows sounds so much fun. Wonder if it will include selectable or scaled covered wagons, from Prairy haulers, to Trixies and Troubleshoes wagons? Or even in game supply money and resources and you can invest in carriage RnD and trade routes etc?
Dik-diks pulling tuk-tuks?
Discords having so much fun with Blueblood. Wonder if he put a curse on that collar that makes its appearence change for everyone else depending on what its wearer is thinking, behaving as, alignment is?
The movies getting a lot of hype, really hope it holds up.
8330016
No I have not, what is it?
8329633
It wasn't funny. Not at all.
8330142
That'd be an interesting concept. Though the 'currency' in the game isn't money and trade routes probably wouldn't be a thing since that's not the point.
But carriages is definitely a possibility.
8330723
Different areas and objects themselves can be considered various levels of Freindly, or not, and alterable from one to the the other, depending on companionship? That is, if you have a village in an area of difficult terrain, thats an isolationist, indifferent or even unfreindly village, which at best might have a very unfreindly route in. I think the swamp town Applebloom takes the pies to where theres only a sugggestion of a route woud be the worse case before things got actually combatitive, or start of game where because theres noone asking for help from outside, theres no help from outside, like the Yaks?
In many areas, how much more likely are suspended roads and pathways to be used, given massive trees, and the archeaological discovery of causeways, artiificial trees in the form of posts driven into the marsh etc with a wooden pathway between them. More advanced versions of trees and paths are cast iron pillars and rail of Victorian Piers, New Yorks Elevated Railway, to Concrete pillar and beam of modern Metro Tams, to Post and Tube Hyperloop.
Sorry about that, just, as far as I can work out, the idea of Freindship rating makes it easier in variation to concider procedurally generating the enviroment from the realm, layer by layer, right down to character interactions and even items. And having it fully alterable not just by direct character interaction, but by as many interactions by NPCs as you care to add or can afford processing wise. Try and imagine what Maud sees in a rock.
Just hope you never have to deal with the volcano with indigestion.
8330142
I hadn't planned on it, but it does seem like Discord's gifts always come with an extra surprise in the box. :)
8331398
Hmm...
Could work that building roads and bridges to make travel easier for other players counts towards friendship points in and of itself, simplifying things. Since this game is meant to be rather low stress and easy to follow.
What a great resolution the the Wolfpony arc! If Discord doesn't want to hear ponies whining about things, he really shouldn't spend time as a bartender. Does the collar mean Blueblood could still choose a wolf mate, and if so would it give his descendents the ability to turn into a pony?
The twister game was hilarious, and didn't turn into an orgy, which is just about the first time I have read a twister scene in fiction where things happened like that.
Twilight Sparkle should be proud of Trixie! Here's a player who paid extremely close attention to your actions as GM, and as a result of her dedication and engagement with the world you have created, found an innovative solution to defeating a difficult boss. I'm not saying Twilight shouldn't have the guard murder Trixie's character horribly, I'm just saying Twilight should be happy about Trixie's enthusiasm and passion the entire time. "Your head is put on a spike by Malefic's 2nd in Command as a warning that he shall be even crueler than his former master. Great effort Trixie, your new character gets some bonus building points as a reward for creativity!"
I agree with Trixie, this was a fantastic prank. But blowback is inevitable. I mean, if Zephyr Breeze ever really gave up on Rainbow Dash, he'd have to settle for a mare just like her, another blue-coated ego maniac.
Of course it's stupid. If villains had legitimate grievances driving their actions, if would feel a lot less fun beating them. For me the most fun villains are those with magnificent plans and grandiose schemes wrapped around the pettiest motivations.
As always, scenes with the Griffons are fantastic.
I really wish they had actually done this. Since they're just normal size, it would be a couple of Griffons bragging about how gigantic they are compared to the ponies, up until someone asks Gilda if that means she's fat, at which point she would fly off in a huff. Then they land on the roof of Twilight's castle and sit there, while short-sighted pony goes to get Fluttershy, because apparently the Castle has a pigeon problem.
8339402
Thanks!
Blueblood is mindful of his own servants, because he sees that as his noble obligation, but he tends to give other servants and wait staff about as much consideration as the furniture. Discord hid "in plain sight" partially to teach Blueblood a lesson, but mostly because it was funny.
In theory, yes, Blueblood could wear the collar and sire purely wolf children with a female wolf. That would seriously throw the noble line of Bluebloods for a loop. And sure, why not? Discord definitely might have planned ahead, and made the collar so a wolf descendant would become a pony while wearing it.
Normal griffons on Twilight's castle roof is funny... I could do something with that.
8340159
Awesome. I'm still invested in the idea of a Blueblood Rarity Alisa love triangle, so I wanted to know if they were viable.
8340236
I'd regard those as unlikely, but fun to tease. :)
Rarity was after Blueblood for the wolfpony thing, which he technically isn't any more. She might still have some interest, but Blueblood is still kind of a jerk. And Spike has that big-time crush on her.
Blueblood has many qualities that might interest Alisa, so it's not clear yet what she's after. He might flirt with female wolves, but the idea of seriously romancing one would seem quite mad to him, without some impressive persuasion.
Heh.
Seems like it at this point.
That's because it was a bad idea.
Aid for those who sink their lives into roguelikes, run by a Mr. Ironic Gag.
Wait, six?! Congratulations, you've somehow managed to make 40k even darker.
I thought you wanted good relations with them.
So, Blueblood and his descendents are now beaststone-wielding wolfskin. Awesome.
Yeah, but right now its mostly dragons.
Good job on being different Starlight. Making some real progress there.
https://youtu.be/3hy3l_6fCwA?t=28
Based on the one written for Twilight, but with more of a focus on not conquering/destroying Ponyville/Equestria/Reality.
A few even get quite upset if you don't eat them.
I'm sure the new canyon has some thoughts on the matter.
This bodes poorly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DCy3DNNDiA
Trixie has apparently not lost her sadistic streak.
Hooray!
This is somehow only the second most over-the-top name you've created, somehow.
Things like this are why I always read these after midnight-they go from smile-worthy to side-splitting.
8340320
Hey, now I want to see a Rarity-Blueblood-Alisa love triangle! With Rarity putting on a wolfsuit of her very own so she can compete with Alisa. Alisa will be so amused. The Master becomes the Student!
8340159
In theory, yes, Blueblood could wear the collar and sire purely wolf children with a female wolf. That would seriously throw the noble line of Bluebloods for a loop. And sure, why not? Discord definitely might have planned ahead, and made the collar so a wolf descendant would become a pony while wearing it.
We need to see at least one alternate future of this.
8356719
Was that a compliment or a dismiss given that was Hercules giving his BS?
8356719
I thought it was Scrabble and Diplomacy that ruined friendships?
8357717
Compliment. It really does make sense.
8356719
This comment brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
8361327
Care to write it?
8361383
Might have created a martyr.
Finally some Minecraft content. <3
As pissed as I am about the Microsoft Account bullshit, the updates and level of support it gets means it won't ever get old... Unless the Microsoft jerks start trying to police modding or private servers. Though nobody would object if they cracked down on shit like the 2b2t weirdos.
I hope to see a segment down the line with the Student Six in Minecraft.
10581298
I'm pretty sure I had minecraft jokes right near the start, just not by name. I based their comical deaths on mine and a buddy's experiences.