Session 64
Session 64.0 Kendell2
The group arrived at the designated location in the game world (which even without motorcycles wasn't all that long given it was mainly just a scene transition).
In front of them was a giant orange amorphous monster that vaguely resembled a tank or like it.
"Alright, so now we use these things, right?" asked Applejack, producing a green and magenta device.
"Yep, follow my lead!" said Rainbow Dash, putting hers on her waist, causing it to produce belt straps that attached it to herself. She produced her Gashat and hit the button.
"BREAKNECK BOLT!" it announced followed by something sounding like an action movie theme song, a title screen appearing holographically behind her and the surround area seemed to digitize slightly and ammo crates scattered out of it.
"Alright..." said Twilight, the group following her lead.
"GOLDEN AGE!" Twilight's announced, followed by epic thematic music while scattering golden coins across the 'game field'.
"SILVER STAR!" Applejack's announced, followed by a western music jingle as it scattered targets.
"SUGAR AND SWEETS!" announced Pinkie's, followed by an upbeat and bouncy jingle, spreading sugar bags over the field.
"GLAMOROUS MYSTERIES!" announced Rarity's, following with some noir sounding music and scattering black question marks.
"ANIMAL FRIENDS!" finally announced Fluttershy's, followed by a 'natural' styled beat and sending out bags of animal food over the battlefield.
"Henshin!" called Rainbow Dash, inserting the Gashat into her belt. A 'character select' set of images spun around her and she round house kicked her own.
"Henshin!" the others called in following, Fluttershy mispronouncing it a couple times as did Applejack. Twilight, following Rainbow's lead, pressed a hoof to her character select eyecon, while Applejack did a 'hoof guns' motion to hers while taking her hat off with the other. Pinkie Pie bounced at hers, somehow jumping off it back to her normal standing position, while Rarity spun hers with a motion similar to flourishing a cape. Fluttershy simply timidly poked hers.
"LET'S GAME! METCHA GAME! MUTCHA GAME! WHAT'S YOUR NAME!? I'M A KAMANE RIDER!" all their belts announced as each was surounded by pixels of their respective color that initiated the transformation.
The end result was not what most of them had expected.
"Rainbow, what the Tartarus is this?!" Applejack asked, finding herself a primarily white and black super deformed version of herself. They were all identical except for their heads, which were still in the chibi style with big animane eyes. Applejack's had a silver mouth plate with a primarily orange colored head with a clear cowboy theme. She put her hat back on, which didn't fit very well on the large head.
"This is just Level One," Rainbow Dash defended, her head resembling the Wonderbolts inspired armor of her game character. "We need to beat THAT with these, THEN we get to go into the cool forms."
"I think we're cute!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, her head having a white mouth plat that seemed shaped to almost resemble a smile, while the rest of the helmet was pink with a white chef's hat molded in. Fluttershy's, oddly enough, resembled a wolf's, complete with molded in ears and tuffs of fur.
"It makes sense, these resemble the overworld sprites in a lot of video games..." Twilight pointed out, her own head resembling the white unicorn from her cover art with the blue mane molded in. "Honestly clever when you think about it."
"Then let's finish this quickly," remarked Rarity, her helmet being primarily dark red like that one would expect to see Shadow Spade wear, complete with a fitting fadora hat molded in. "And get to the more appealing forms, shall we?"
"Yeah, let's go! Oh, and roll call time!...Alright, Kamane Riders normally don't do that but we need to name ourselves somehow..." Rainbow Dash advised. "I'm going with Kamane Rider Bolt!" she announced, charging the monster and dodging an attack before kicking it in the face.
"Alright then, Masked Bug Rider Majesty sounds good to me," said Twilight, acknowledging the historical figure she'd based it off of, doing a small pose and then looking at one of the gold coins. She punched it, causing it to shatter and reveal a Power Up, namely one of a pony with a stretching limb. She took it and leapt up, using her now stretching front limbs like whips to attack the monster.
"Eh, think Ah'll go with the original way of sayin' it," said Applejack, adjusting her hat. "Kamane Rider Bullseye sounds right tah meh," she said, charging and giving the monster a kick in the chest.
"Masked Bug Rider Treat!...Aww, now my name is gonna make me hungry..." Pinkie Pie announced, literally bouncing off several things to land on top of the monster and beginning to bounce around it with stomps to do damage.
"Hmm...Kamane Rider Noir, that sounds good to me, darling," Rarity said, kicking one of the question marks hers had scattered revealing an invisibility power up which she grabbed and vanished.
"Um...well...um...how about Fauna?" Fluttershy asked, then jumped as Rainbow Dash was thrown past her and caught herself.
"Sounds good," replied the mare, jumping back into the fight and giving the beast and jumping kick to the 'face'.
Fluttershy mainly relied on keeping NPCs out of danger, which she found also got her experience.
Rarity came out of invisibility and assaulted the creature from behind. The five ponies all did a jumping attack of some sort, hitting it at once and causing it to explode, Fluttershy merely getting the last pony out of the way.
"Was that it?" Applejack questioned, cracking her neck.
"Nope, these guys have two stages," Rainbow explained.
Orange particles spread out and then came together to reveal the Bugster and a horde of minions. The monster himself resembled a monstrous version of the sterotypical Hooviet general, antlers crackling with lightning.
"Army! Attention!" called the Bugster, his mooks, who in this case where all dressed as soldiers in fitting attire, taking an attention pose. "Charge!"
"Boss from my game," Rainbow Dash explained, putting a hoof to the door like portion of her belt. "Named 'General Thunderhooves', he's the baddie you take on."
"Subtle..." replied Rarity.
"Eh, it's not a subtle game," replied Rainbow Dash with a shrug. "Anyway, let's go to Level 2!" she said, opening the door to reveal a screen and that the door was hiding large, stylized text reading 'Gamare Driver' on one side.
"GACHAN! LEVEL UP!" announced the belt, Rainbow Dash suddenly getting a cutscene of running through an exploding military base before her armor exploded up (the helmet becoming a back plate) to reveal a more properly proportioned and colored suit resembling her game character, her chest plate having a health bar on its read out. "Tsukkomu! Akushonhiro! * Breakneck Bolt!" it announced like something out of an action movie trailer with music to match.
Rainbow Dash reached a hoof out, a small screen looking like an inventory management selection spinning around her before she grabbed it, revealing a gun resembling a machine gun with an A and B button on the side. "Alright, let's have some fun now!"
"About time!" Applejack announced, opening her own.
"GACHAN! LEVEL UP!" Applejack was suddenly in a cutscene surrounded by 8-bit desperadoes who's bullets she dodged until her armor exploded off like Rainbow Dash's to reveal her proper armor, primarily orange and brown in color with a distinct western sheriff motif. "Shōgodesu! Buruzuai! * Silver Star!" it announced with a distinct western draw and accompanying music as she put her hat back on over her helmet.
Applejack repeated Rainbow Dash's gesture, producing a revolver with a slightly more bulky top section and, likewise, having an A and B button on the side. "Yee haw! This is more like it!"
"Interesting, level 2 it is..." continued Twilight, opening her belt.
"GACHAN! LEVEL UP!" Twilight was in a cutscene, buildings arising around her at her command before the armor burst off to reveal a very regal white, blue, and gold suit modeled after the royal unicorn on the cover art. "Anata no sekai o tsukuru! Anata no ōkoku o shihai shi nasai! Golden Age! *" it announced with a distinctly epic and grandous tone and music.
Twilight produced her weapon, a scepter with an A and B button. "Hmm...so the Level 1 forms are bulkier but used for fighting larger opponents while these are more streamlined and for one on one combat."
"Oh! My turn!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, repeating the action.
"GACHAN! LEVEL UP!" Pinkie Pie's cutscene was of her cooking excitedly in a kitchen with all sorts of sweets. The armor blew off to reveal her in armor based on pink and white chef attire, though of course more streamlined. "Yume o niru! Amakute oishī! Sugar and Sweets!" it announced like the opening to a children's cartoon, music and all.
Pinkie Pie giggled, taking her weapon...a frying pan with the A and B buttons on the handle. "This looks like so much fun!"
"Finally, time to switch into something more comfortable, darings..." Rarity muttered, repeating her friends motion.
"GACHAN! LEVEL UP!" Rarity's cutscene involved her walking along a darkly lit alley way, then ducking behind a lamppost as the armor exploded off, taking a fitting pose next to it as she emerged in her streamlined form that resembled her game character complete with a trenchcoat as part of the suit, though they all kept the animane eyes, even hers, and the fadora was even molded in. "Megumi to utsukushi-sa de nazowotoku!" her Driver announced, in a tone and background music of a very detective noir styling.
"Now this is more like it," said the fashionista, producing her weapon, what appeared to be a cane with the buttons on the handle.
"O-Okay...m-my turn..." Fluttershy muttered, doing the gesture.
"GACHAN! LEVEL UP!" Fluttershy's cutcene had her dashing through the forest, the armor bursting off...to reveal a robotic looking cream and pink colored wolf with the normal chest plate on her back rather than her chest, ending with a howl. "Shizen o dakishimete! Chikyū o aisuru! Animal Friends!" was the announcement, with a more tribal, natural backing.
Fluttershy eeped. "What happened?! I'm a wolf!" she whimpered, no weapon spawning. Granted, she was a huge wolf, big enough someone could ride her.
"Looks like you're our Kamane Rider Lazer," Rainbow Dash replied. "You get something weird rather than something pony shaped. Now come on! Time for some action!"
* Rush on through! Action Hero!
* It's high noon! Bullseye!
* Build you world! Rule your kingdom!
* Cooking up dreams! Sweet and tasty!
* Solving mysteries with grace and beauty!
* Embrace nature! Love the Earth!
Session 64.1 Mtangalion
Mild spoilers for "Triple Threat":
Princess Celestia balanced a golden bit coin on her hoof, then flipped it and slapped it down on the royal chessboard. The chess set wasn't a fourteen-hundred year old relic personally gifted to them by the heirs of Princess Platinum. *That* chess set lay under an airtight crystal dome in the royal museum. *This* chess set was modern, crafted from sensible sturdy stained wood.
Celestia checked the coin. "Tails. Black moves first this game." She smoothly sorted all the pieces in her magic and dropped them into place.
Instead of sitting in the opposite chair, Princess Luna was peering out a window, her back to the board. "I like this new understanding that we've come to," she said, moving her first pawn with magic. "Let us put it in the official rule book."
"No objections here." Celestia chuckled mildly, moving a piece of her own. "Have you heard the latest from Ponyville? Not only is Twilight still a Princess with no regalia, staff, or guards of her own, but her informality seems to be spreading."
"Is that so?" mused Luna. The sisters kept moving their pieces, one after another.
Celestia took a sip of her tea. "Indeed. Yesterday, Ponyville hosted both Thorax, king of the reformed changelings, and Dragon Lord Ember. Each of them arrived without royal staves of office, without guards or attendants of any kind, and even without a single stitch of clothing. Remind me again, dear sister... why do we still bother with any of that?"
Luna grinned a notch more and adjusted her telescope, which was aimed down at the courtyard where the Night Guard stallions trained. "Oh, we have our reasons."
Session 64.2 Alex Warlorn, Ardashir, BrutalityInc, Grogar-the-onser
"Did you really have your character pour were-bear blood into an orc camp's water supply?" Twilight asked drolly at Rainbow Dash.
"What's the big deal? They're all neutral good now."
"'The urge is upon me again!' The were-bear Orc helps an old lady across the street. 'Why?!' He cries out."
"I still don't see what the bad part is."
Twilight, "Rainbow, we have nightshade berries from when we went foraging..."
RD, "Yeah?"
Twilight, "And we confiscated a large batch of hemlock from the assassin who tried to assassinate the countess..."
RD, "Okay...?"
Twilight, "We got Aconite, Belladonna and Mandrakes from when we defeated that evil witch. And even arsenic to protect our supplies from rats and other vermin..."
RD, "... So? What's your point?"
Twilight face-hoofed, "My point is, of all the choice of poisons we could had used to take out that camp of Orcs without fighting a battle, you decided to use Were-bear blood...?!"
"SURE! No way nopony is killed, and they become productive members of the kingdom instead or raiding and eating everypony. And using poison is evil and cowardly!"
Pinkie Pie: "Besides you can never cover up the taste right. Mr. and Mrs. Cake always tell me... Why are you staring? Oh by the way, have some cake. I baked it myself." Pinkie Pie looked at Fluttershy. "We uh, use sleepy powder to make the pests go to sleep and take them to a farm!"
"Oh!" Fluttershy brightened. "I bet it's the same farm mom and dad sent all my pets, and grandma to!... " Fluttershy never thought about grandma's reply letters had the same mouth writing as her mother.
Starlight said, playing a mind flayer, (saying she survived off the brains of animals, point out there was nothing technically in the monster manual that said she couldn't, and Spike surrendered), "This sounds morally questionable. Do we really have the right to alter the minds of other living beings simply for our amusement and advantage?"
A Mail Pony stuck his head through the window, "Hi, I have half a dozen letters here from the crown looking to collect on unpaid back taxes for somepony named Starlight Glimmer..." Starlight panicked and zapped him. He says in a monotone, "I never found her." He Left.
"What? Oh, yeah, sorry. Old habits die hard."
Spike said, "Okay, while you were doing that, somepony poured werewolf blood into the towns water supply. You now have over 100 ferocious ravenous werewolves chasing you. Roll for initiative."
Rainbow's eyes darted about, "Uh, I ask my new werebear friends to save me?"
"They say sorry, but since it was immoral and unethical of you to inflict unwanted and un-asked for changes on people, you have to save yourself this time. Oh yes, you just got bitten."
Dash groaned, "UGH! I don't start turning into some hairy, slobbering, foul-smelling beast, do I?"
Twilight Sparkle said "Don't worry Rainbow Dash, there's no way the incubation period for lycanthropy is that short, it's against the game's rules."
"Yer gonna be likely mauled before ya change anyway."
"I teleport in and teleport Rainbow Dash out, and we start gathering the wolf's bane to feed her, and the rest of the werewolf population of the town the orcs were attacking, and ask the werebears to keep the werewolves contained until we're finished."
"Don't we also need to find out poured that werewolf blood into the town too?" Fluttershy asked.
"Huh?... OH! RIGHT!" Spike's eyes shifted about. He'd been so eager to punish Rainbow Dash for her unorthodox method of dealing with the orcs that he hadn't thought about who might have actually done. At least he hadn't gone with his original plan of having werebears be violently insane in spite of being, ya know, Neutral Good Lycanthropes.
Fluttershy wondered how to explain that she was secretly playing a wereraven, another neutral good Lycanthrope and she'd been looking for volunteers who'd be willing to join her flock.
Session 64.3 Kendell2
"Thank you for lending a room in your castle to my old friend, Twilight!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, bouncing along after Twilight.
"No problem, Pinkie Pie. If I'll ask Princess Celestia to lend Rarity a room in the castle, then why wouldn't I do the same for one of your friends?" Twilight asked.
The pink party pony nodded. "I haven't seen her since I moved to Ponyville! I think you'll like her!"
"Why's that Pinkie Pie?" Twilight asked.
"You were her ancestor in a past life!" Pinkie Pie said in her normal way. "Oh! And you both have OCD!"
"...What?"
The two opened the door to find a sight that made Twilight question if Discord had opened a portal to Rainbows and Crystals' universe.
She and the mint green furred, two tone pink maned Earth Pony blinked at one another.
"Uh...hi..." Twilight said bewildered.
"Hi! I'm Minty! Glad to meet you!" the pony replied with a big smile.
"Minty!" Pinkie shouted.
"Pinkie!" the green pony shouted. The two rushed at one another and did a jumping hug...only for Minty to miss and go sliding down the hall.
Twilight and Pinkie cringed at the sound of a crash.
"...I'm okay!" Minty called.
"Minty Minty Minty..." Pinkie Pie muttered, shaking her head and rushing to help her friend up, at which point the two hugged. "Come on! I'll show you to your room!"
"...How...how is this possible?" Twilight asked.
"Don't know," Spike replied, walking up. "But game night is going to be awkward..."
"Why?"
"Because we're playing Rainbows and Crystals..."
Session 64.4 Mtangalion
Someone was hammering at the front door of Princess Twilight's crystal castle. Spike waddled downstairs, yawning. "Okay, okay. Keep your scales on." He opened the door and nearly yelped in surprise... "Garble?! What are you doing here?"
"Oh, it's YOU again." Garble sighed through clenched fangs. "So, like, Ember asked her pop what's the best way to make a dragon go far away and not come back, and he said make them an ambassador. I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be a joke, but next thing I know, I'm the freakin' official dragon ambassador to Equestria!" Garble smacked a fist into a palm. "I would totally punch her in the snout for that! If she wasn't Dragon Lord. And if her dad wasn't a hundred times bigger than me."
Spike gave him a half-lidded stare. "And... how is that my problem?" He pointed a claw at the mountains. "Canterlot's thataway, Mr. Ambassador."
Garble rolled his eyes. "Well, duh! Of course I flew there first, you little dork, but then a whole bunch of stupid flying ponies showed up with armor and dragon lances! When did ponies even get that many dragon lances!?" He stamped his feet, growling. "Then a stupid farmer chased me all over the place just because I set one measly apple tree on fire, and I barely escaped from a rabbit."
"Rabbit?" Spike blinked. "You mean, Angel Bunny?"
"Dude, that thing is no angel!" He grabbed Spike and hoisted him up level with his muzzle, shaking him a bit. "That rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! Ugh, anyway..." Garble dropped Spike and patted him on the head. "I'm beat, and your castle looks delicious, so I'm gonna chill here for a while. Got it, shorty?"
Spike dusted himself off, then casually slammed the door in Garble's face. "Hey, Twilight! There's more weird ponies with journals outside! Better turn the No More Autographs spell on again!"
Rainbow Dash steered a portable raincloud into the castle foyer. Applejack was right behind her, wearing bright yellow galoshes on all four hooves. "Okay, I think we've got all the fires put out," said Dash, wiping the sweat from her brow.
"I'm really sorry about this," said Princess Twilight.
"I'm not," grumbled Spike. "Ouch!" Twilight had bandaged the bump on his head a little more forcefully than necessary.
"Would you hold still?!" said Starlight Glimmer, still jittery from having her mane set on fire. She was focusing her magic, trying to dab some ointment on the slashes on Garble's muzzle, but her spell kept fizzling. "And try to relax. Why do dragons have to be so resistant to magic?"
"Oh, I don't know," huffed Garble. "Maybe so purple pansy ponies don't put us under a spell?" He glared at Fluttershy. "And what are you so happy about?!"
Fluttershy smiled and turned the pages of her new Dragon Egg Z fan comic, curiously unafraid of him. "Because when rivals fight, that's when they can become the best of friends. Isn't it wonderful?"
"Me, friends with Garble?" sputtered Spike. "He's a bullying, egg-smashing jerk who wanted dragons to take over Equestria! I'd sooner kiss a lizard!"
"Shut up!" snapped Garble. "I would have been Dragon Lord, if you hadn't messed everything up. I'd rather kiss two lizards than be friends with you!"
"Oh yeah, well I'd rather kiss ten lizards!"
"I'd rather kiss fifty lizards!"
"I'd rather kiss a hundred!"
Applejack chuckled, nudging Rainbow. "Remind ya of anypony?" Rainbow just giggled into her hoof.
Garble shook a fist at Spike. "I'd sooner kiss a *pony* than be his friend. Heck, I'd sooner kiss Spikey-Wikey's girlfriend and be a pony-lover like him!"
Spike pushed Twilight away and jumped out of his chair. "Dude, you did not just go there! That settles it! I wouldn't be your friend if we were the last dragons on..."
"Did somebody want to kiss a lizard?" asked Pinkie Pie, inexplicably joining them with Gummy sitting on her back. "Maybe later, after the Gilligan Cut!"
"What's a Gilligan Cut?" asked Spike, thinking out loud. He and Gargle were chillaxing on the castle roof, soaking up the midday sun. It was no lava bath, but dragons had to make due.
Gargle raised an eyebrow. "Dude, you're just wondering that now? That was, like, a week ago." The red drake chugged from his mug of cider, then belched a long stream of orange fire, holding it for several seconds. "Hah, top that one!"
Spike chuckled and took a sip. "Hold my cider." He burped out a green fireball that was definitely less impressive, until it started spinning and teleporting, creating a pinwheel of green fireworks.
Garble picked his jaw up off the floor. "Okay, I'll bite. How?"
Spike buffed his chest scales with a claw. "I'm actually not sure. It's probably because of all the magical *pony* princesses I have on magic flame speed dial!" He reached down and picked up a clipboard. "Now, about your character for tonight's O&O game..."
"Dragon," said Garble without hesitation.
"Dude, you played a dragon last time. I was thinking..."
"Dragon."
"You know, this game has over twenty playable races..."
"I SAID I'm playing a dragon, Spike!"
"What if we made your character a were-dragon? You know, like Cindy Blastoff, the hero of Bridgeport!"
Garble hesitated. "Is he cool?"
Spike grinned and made a notation on the clipboard. "Heck yeah, he's cool."
Session 64.5 Redsopine (with edits) (Continued from 42.0 brutality)
As Minuette, Lemon Heart, Twinkleshine, Lyra and Bon Bon ran into the stallion's house, he slammed the door shut and bolted it as the smell of incense dominated the dimly lit room. The stallion sighs and face hoofs and mutters, "Why do I always get involved with outsiders? Alright listen and listen closely as you probably saw the ponies of this town are not so nice."
As if to emphasize what he said a halberd blade went through the door and almost hit him. The stallion gave a sigh and walked to the only table in the room. He grabbed what looked like a watering can and leaned out the window. "Hey get off my lawn!" The group then jumped as he fired the flamethrower at the mob causing them to scatter.
While this was happening, Lyra turned to Bon Bon. "Why are you covered in blood? Are you hurt?" she asks concern on her voice and etched in her face.
Bonbon sighed and pulled Lyra towards a corner and whispered, "I'm fine, but I don't know how to tell you this...I killed that stallion from before. Now before you freak out, I looked into his eyes and saw nothing. No soul, no fear, not even anger. Just emptiness there was nothing to show he's alive."
"You're absolutely correct outsider everypony that has the virus is not alive anymore, but here blood means power and it can also heal." The others look at stallions confused. "Surly you're hunters. Only a hunter would enter this town and only a hunter could survive Yhanam blood."
"Wait is that why we awoke in the clinic surrounded by blood transfusion equipment?" asks a confused Lemon Heart.
"Yes...that means you don't know what's going on do you?" At the blank looks he got the stallion grew scared. "Get out now just go take this and go." He thrusted the flame thrower to the mares before he grabbed Bon Bon and throws her out the window to the shock of the others. "Now go, before they come back, and look for the lanterns. Light them and concentrate they will take you to safety now go." He then opened the door and ran past Bon Bon as the others look confused till they all say what they feel.
"WHAT THE BUCK JUST HAPPENED?!"
Session 64.6 Kendell2
Rainbow Dash walked into the Enchanted Comics store, Button Mash walking with her.
"What can I do you for today, Miss?" asked the mare at the counter.
Rainbow Dash grumbled. "A story where the good guys punch the bad guys in the face, hold the politics, grimdark crud, and stupid plot twists."
The mare chuckled. "You have no idea the killing I'm making on those..." she said, then looked to the small colt. "...Button? Where's your mom?"
"She said she wanted to go give whoever decided to make Captain Equestria a Hooviet a 'piece of her mind...'" Button commented. "...She took her katana..."
"...I imagine Marevel's doing that too," the mare replied, looking over at a stack of comics marked 'Secret Crystal Empire' that was currently selfwarming in a rather sizable copy. Oh well, those were freebees, so no skin off her muzzle.*
"For once I'm on the same page as her," Rainbow Dash snarked. "Seriously, I've never been waiting for a retcon so bad before..."
"Can I have a copy of the What If story where Batmare is a pirate?" Button Mash asked. "I have a friend who loves pirates and Princess Luna, it sounds like it'd be fun to play with him."
"A good choice," the mare replied, leaving and returning with the comics.
"Oh yeah, something from Batmare the Brave and the Bold!" Rainbow Dash smirked. "THAT'S more like it!"
"Can I play?" asked Button.
"Sure! This is the one where he teams up with a talking chimp detective!"
"...That sounds weird..."
"I know! Isn't it great?!"
* This is not a take that: that's ACTUALLY happening in Comic Book stores. It really is shelfwarming THAT bad and Marvel really is giving away free copies.
Session 64.7 Alex Warlorn
After Lyra Heartstrings the unicorn mage's adventure party had finished reading the journal, they turned around and saw the Mecha Gnome in the door.
"You were looking for me, child? Why do you come to kill me? I only wish to help. But, I can see it in your eyes, hear it in your pulse rate. You would destroy me despite my offer of immortality! Very well. It saddens me that it has come to this. I look upon all of you as if you were my children. I will slay you if I must!"
"Actually," Lyra said. "We're here to help."
"YOU ARE?!" The robot gnome shouted in confused and shock.
"We are?!" Bon Bon The Ranger/Rogue Half-Elf exclaimed.
Vinyl The dhampir Bard stared in shock.
Octavia The Orc Monk was looked at her friends.
"Sure," Lyra nodded. "Robots are cool. And transhumanism is a really misunderstood concept. We'd love to help you spread your message of curing the world of the curse of flesh and liberating the people of some arbitrary built in death date."
"Uh! You're lying! You are obviously trying to trick me!"
Her teammates smiled and nodded.
"Of course not! I'm a unicorn! When was the last time you met a unicorn who lied? Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."
"But... didn't you come all this way to fight me?"
"Oh that was just so I could find you and join you. I mean, come on, this is obviously a pretty big step for the world. Just rejecting it blindly without even giving us a choice would be pretty rude, riiiiiight?"
-
"UGH!" The Doctor held his head in his hands. "You do realize that the entire quest hingers on you killing him and bringing back his head right?"
"So?" Lyra the CHS student. "Isn't the entire point of a table top game that we're supposed to decide how the story ends?"
(WoW quest reference.)
Session 64.8 Ardashir
"Yeesh, my mom was right." Garble grumbled. He snorted out a small puff of fire in disgust as he pointed at the game table. "You ponies are hypocrites."
"WHAT?!" Rarity, Applejack, and Dash all yelled as they surged to their hooves. Rarity snapped, "Now listen here, you bullying scaly --"
"Rarity!" Twilight gave her friend a stern look. "Garble's a guest. AND an ambassador! We owe him some manners," she waited for Rarity to sit back down before turning to the smug dragon. "Even if he doesn't feel the same. What do you mean, 'hypocrites'?"
Garble folded his arms. He sat at the game table with the rest of the Mane Six, with Spike in his accustomed place as the Oubliette Overseer. The little purple dragon gave Garble a suspicious look as the older dragon began to speak.
"First of all, you say it's wrong for dragons to fight and steal treasure for our hoards, and then you invite me to play a game that's, like, all about stuff like that," Garble waved one claw at the table, laden down with books, figures, maps, and snacks. "Then when we catch the guy who hurt everyone, instead of letting me yank his head off you say you 'forgive him' and let him go."
"How the hay is that 'hypocritical, fire breath?" Rainbow Dash put her hooves on her hips.
"Girls, please," Fluttershy flattened her ears and nervously scraped one hoof on the floor as everyone looked at her. "Maybe we could, um, let him finish? But Garble, ponies are kind of forgiving..."
"Hah!" Garble snapped his claws. "Tell that to the dragons your puny pony princesses killed a thousand years ago."
"You know what happened a thousand years ago?" Twilight blinked in surprise.
"Dragons live, like, for thousands of years. Duh." Twilight's cheeks reddened as Garble said, "I spoke to dragons old enough to remember them. But that's not what I mean, pony. That guy you 'forgave'? He didn't do you anything. He hurt those stupid wimp villagers. Not that I care what happens to them," he reached out and pushed one cringing miniature over. "Anyone that lets themselves get pushed around deserves it."
"Your point, Broad Withers?" Rarity invoked the name of the ancient philosopher, rarely heard sarcasm edging her voice.
"My POINT," Garble snapped back, "is that none of YOU have any business or right to 'forgive' this jerk. I don't either. He didn't hurt US." He waved one arm out, taking in dragons and ponies alike before pointing at the 'villagers'. "He hurt THEM. If they want revenge on him, they should have it. And no 'Oh, but revenge is all mean and bad and stuff'." Garble's voice became squeaky before going back to normal. "You can't forgive something that wasn't done to you. Even I know that. He hurt them. If they wanna punish him, they should."
The ponies blinked in surprise.
"Okay," Applejack whispered to Twilight. "Since when did Mister 'Ah count on mah claws' get so smart?"
Session 64.9 Ardashir
"Hey, if you ponies want to play a REAL game?" Garble smirked and pulled something out from under the table. Something horribly familiar. He ignored the looks of rising fury on the pony faces around him as he said, "Me and my buddies came up with this great idea! See, Discord conquers Equestria, and all of you, uhh, I mean," he swallowed, "puny ponies that look like you get turned into his Chaos Demon minions... HEY!"
He snatched after the game to no avail as Twilight yanked it from his claws with her magic.
"This again?!?" She snorted, her eyes blazing. "I thought the last copies in Equestria got sent to Tartarus to entertain the inmates!"
"And it's too awful even for them!" Pinkie Pie chimed in. "The last time I was there, they were making a game out of seeing who could toss it furthest into the lava pits."
"Hey! Chaos Equestria 40K is a brilliant idea!" Garble jumped up on the table and grabbed after the gamebook. Twilight kept it out of his scaly claws. "I bet it sold great outside of Puny Pony Land."
"What the hay makes ya say that?" Dash looked at Garble in disbelief.
"Hey, not everyone loves you ponies," Garble put his claws on his hips. "If someone was gonna invade Equestria, I bet they'd love it."
###
Many miles southwards, but not as many as a short time ago:
"Your majesty, we finally broke through their defenses," a short and pudgy creature said to a crowned apelike figure. "It took longer than we thought. They had the walls covered with, ugh, copies of this." He held out a copy of Garble's book gingerly in one claw. "The troops didn't want to get too close."
"Ugh indeed," the ape-thing said as he flung it into a nearby fire. "I don't usually do this, but lets level this place before we leave. Not for fighting so hard, but for forcing the troops to confront this. Even warfare has its civilized limits." He looked off into the distance and smacked one massive fist into the palm of his other hand. "If I ever find the cretin who made that, I'll blast him for ruining the image of villains everywhere."
###
"You better be careful, bragging about that book," Spike warned Garble. He pointed to an alicorn figure on the table painted Prussian blue. "Luna really hates it and hates hearing about it."
"Like I'm afraid of the puny pony princess." Garble sneered. "What's she gonna do, give me bad dreams?"
Session 64.10 Alex Warlorn
As if on cue, a bolt of moonlight shot through the window and hit Garble in the back. In a flash of magic and what sounded like a lightning bolt cracking, everything suddenly seemed larger.
"I warned you..." replied Spike, snickering.
"What?!" Garble asked. "Why is everything so big?!"
Twilight showed him a mirror, revealing a crimson colored blank flank colt sitting in the chair.
"AH! I'm a puny pony?!" Garble screamed in horror.
Spike fell off his chair laughing hysterically.
"This isn't funny! I'm an ambassador!" the ponified dragon yelled.
Suddenly a flash of magic appeared, revealing a contract with a glowing magic circle around a specific part.
Twilight adjusted her glasses. "According to the agreement Ember made when making you ambassador, the Princesses are permitted to 'teach you some respect' if you continue to 'run your mouth like a lava flow'...So yeah, your diplomatic immunity doesn't protect you from being punished for disrespecting the royal crown in your case."
Twilight left out the fact that the contract actually said 'If Garble runs his mouth like a lava flow, PLEASE do not hesitate to pop his ego like a balloon and teach him some respect! He's a walking embodiment of dragon sterotypes!'
Garble grumbled and crossed his claws...hooves. "How long am I going to be like this?!"
A letter popped into existence next to the Princess of Friendship. "Luna says 'When he apologizes genuinely or Ember presses the 'turn him back' amulet I gave her.'"
"WHAT?!" Garble asked, eyes wide.
Twilight wisely chose to not point out Luna didn't turn everypony who insulted her into things and it was mainly because Ember told her to punish him.
Session 64.11 Alex Warlorn
"Sister we swear!" Luna shouted. "We have no idea how these rumors got started about us turning any foal who teases or won't go on a playdate with Pipsqueak into mice! Tis simply not true!"
"Yes little sisters, I believe you completely." Celestia smiled and nodded. Then whispered to Flash Sentry. "Search her room for cheese."
"Sister! I'm standing right here!"
"Trust be verify Lulu, trust but verify."
-
Sadly, being turned into a pony had done nothing to deter Garble's passion for his own work. "This is where Discord's demon minions disguise themselves as their former selves, infiltrate their home town, and... well you can guess what they do next. Thus they traumatize their still pony apprentices which sets them on the path to become Ponykind's ruthless and brutal defenders."
"... Why are the changelings in here still there parasitic versions if they've been forced to alley with ponies?" Spike asked feeling sick just reading the damn thing.
"Because rainbow sherbet changelings are stupid looking. Seriously, they all looked better in black," Garble said without a hint of apology in his voice.
Session 64.12 SomeRandomMinion
(Based on an actual D&D session I had, just last week!)
The party's attack on the Fire Cult had hit a wall. What should have been a quick hit-and-run had turned into a room-by-room slugfest through the sinister cult's volcanic lair, with small bands of cultists harassing the heroes all the way through. Rainbow's ranger had nearly run out of arrows, forcing her to get into sword range (which, with the fragile "glass cannon" build she went for, was dangerous), and Rarity's mage was horribly close to burning through her high-level healing spells after a few close calls. Things were getting desperate.
Until...
"I cast Animate Object on the shovel and rocks!" Pinkie announced.
Spike blinked. "What?"
"The shovel and rocks lying around the chamber," Pinkie repeated. My warlock tries to animate them and make them attack the cultists!"
Dice clattered, and Pinkie's spell succeeded. "Good move, Pinkie!" Twilight commented. "That should make a great distraction!"
"Not for long," Spike said around a grin. "What good could a shovel be in a life-or-death fight?"
The fight went on...
====Sometime later====
Spike chuckled. "The shovel, heh; 'attacks' one of the cultists, swinging its edge like a battle-ax...huh; not a bad hit. She's bloodied, but still standing. Two of the others get hit by rocks, but they deflect off."
"No offense, but; that's it?" Rainbow asked. "Was expecting a bit more."
"Every little bit helps, darling." Rarity chided.
====Later Still====
"A rock hits the cultist in the back, screwing up the fireball he was preparing," Spike narrated. He seemed surprised that such a thing could happen. "Rainbow, you're in crossbow range, so you get an opportunity attack."
"Sweet! I'll use my Hunter's Mark to peg him for bonus damage!"
A critical hit eliminated the fire-flinging enemy; a few more being left stunned and bloodied by lucky hits by the rocks and shovel.
====Later (Again)===
Spike stared at the dice. "Kill shot."
"Pardon, sugarcube?" Applejack asked.
"The. Shovel. Got. A kill shot on one of the cultists. Hit a chink in his armor and took him out instantly. His friends all panic and run, only to be pelted by the rocks as they flee, staggering them and giving all of you some cheap shots."
The girls cheered. "HA! Who knew a shovel and some pebbles could do so much damage?" Rainbow whooped. "Let's finish the job, and get onto dealing with that evil fire elemental!"
"Shoot, she should've taken that shovel as a weapon!" Applejack laughed.
Pinkie's spell had worn off by then, but it didn't matter. The last few cultists were dealt with easily, giving the girls time to heal up and loot their foes before charging after the boss.
Poor Spike could only look at the itracate formations, traps and tactics he'd drawn up for the now-dead cultists.
"All that planning...and they lost to a shovel and some rocks...."
Session 64.13 Alex Warlorn
"AHHH! Burst of Healing! Burst of Healing!" Snips the Barbarian cried. "Why aren't I bursting with healing?!"
"Why aren't these goblins going down in one hit like good Minions?!" Snails The Wizard cried out.
"Why are we starving?! Wouldn't our character of automatically done a ritual of substance before leaving?!"
"A what now?" Shining Armor said simply.
"Shining... what are you doing?" Twilight asked carefully.
The older unicorn smirked behind the Overseer Screen. "Oh, just giving them a taste of what true blue original Ogres and Oubliettes is like."
Session 64.14 Ardashir (with edits)
In a bit of a cultural exchange, Pharynx had played a game of O&O with the mane six. It had gone relatively well up until Pharynx's character had sent all their hirelings and henchponies into a fatal trap so the player characters can escape.
Twilight exasperated. "Pharynx! Why did you do that?!?"
Pharynx tilted his head. "What? They died for the swarm. It's the noblest death of all. They were glad to do it; I would have been as proud for the honor back when our Hive Queen -- er, I mean, in the bad old days when Chrysalis tyrannized us. Isn't that why the Princesses keep a Royal Guard? Don't you ponies know anything?"
Twilight mentally noted that they needed to send some more translated books on morality to the Changelings. Very soon.
Session 64.15 Mtangalion
"Stupid feathers!" Garble shouted as loud as he could, which wasn't very loud, considering that he was still a young pegasus colt. "Stupid lame pony wings! Work already!" He flapped harder, managing to lift his little hooves on the ground. "Yes!" Then he started wobbling back and forth. "No, no no..." The red pegasus careened into a kitchen shelf, knocking pots and pans everywhere.
Spike lounged in the doorway, grinning smugly. "So, now that you're a puny pony, are you going to bow before my superior dragon-ness?"
Garble dashed over, shaking a hoof in Spike's face. "As if, pipsqueak! I'm still better than you. I could be a parasprite and still be better than you!"
Spike cupped a claw to his ear fin. "What's that? You're saying that what's important isn't your species, but who you are inside? Where's my parchment and quill, I've gotta write this down!"
Garble rolled his eyes. "Oh sure, laugh it up, Spike. Kick me when I'm down." He smirked. "That's what a dragon would do, after all."
"Hey, I'm trying to be nice, here!" Spike protested. "You're my... okay, I wouldn't exactly say we're friends just yet, but at least we can hang out without trying to kill each other. Garble, if we can show that you've learned a valuable lesson and write an official friendship letter, maybe Twilight will agree to change you back before..."
A faint rumbling began to echo in the crystal castle halls, like a miniature stampede. Spike gasped. "Oh no. We're too late!" He dashed to the door, reaching for the lock, but it slammed open, catching him against the wall.
Three fillies stood shoulder to shoulder in the doorway. "Hi, Ah'm Apple Bloom!"
"I'm Sweetie Belle! Nice to meet you!"
"I'm Scootaloo!" She grinned at Garble, who was cowering back from them. "And a little bird told us that there's a brand new pony in town who doesn't have his cutie mark yet!"
"Technically, a little catbird," Sweetie admitted.
Gabby squeezed into the doorframe above them, doing a quick midair flip. "Yes! I can't believe I'm really coming along on a real cutie mark journey of discovery with the one and only Cutie Mark Crusaders!" She landed and saluted. "Thank you so much, girls! You won't be disappointed!"
"We heard you like O&O," said Apple Bloom, "and it just so happens we're having a special on gaming cutie marks this week, so let's get right to it!"
Garble cringed. "A dragon... with a cutie mark? I'd be a laughingstock. Spike, you gotta help me!"
"Now, now," said Scootaloo. "Cutie marks in make-believe are next week. Come on!" They grabbed him and bundled him out into the hallway.
With the Crusaders no longer blocking it, the door swung open, and a dazed Spike flopped to the floor. "Sorry, dude, looks like you're on your own."
Session 64.16 Alex Warlorn
= 'Dark Servant' - Blackguards =
Button Mash sat in his room, playing Dark Spirits. His character clunked along at a snails pace till he came to an unremarkable field of ashes everything.
A million to one drop from a random monster in an unrelated arena remarked that someone with a name staring with T or maybe G had may or may not have burned down a forest at some incredibly long time ago that might have actually been very recently.
Button Mash shrugged. "Okay." And continued playing.
Then his console grew arms and legs and stood up angrily. "WHAT IS THIS!? You're supposed to be SAD that the forest was burned down! That you'll never get to experience its splendor! That it's gone forever! That there were good times (that actually had a buncha horrible stuff happening to them, but only after you feel sad for the good times being gone so you can feel sadder, and then feel even more sad finding out all the bad things that happened to make the so-called good times happen), and those good times are never coming back!"
BUtton Mash looked up and said innocently. "Well, it's not I'm not really connecting with the place, like at all. I mean, I don't know anything about that forest except it got burned down. I don't what it was really like, I didn't get to experience, I didn't see pictures of it, or have people talk about their happy experiences with it. It just doesn't do anything for me."
"WHAT?! But you were all sad and miserable when you found that destroyed random ranch where nothing plot related or side quest related even happens in Legend of Cadence!"
"Yeah, but because it was obviously a destroyed version of the ranch from the first 3-D game. I GOT to see it in its prime. I got to TALK to the people who used to live there. I could APPRECIATE that there was something great there that was gone because I actually got to experience the good times, and UNDERSTOOD the ACTUAL good in the good times, rather than just having it be a fancy veneer for a dictatorship or something."
"HOW DARE YOU?! Everypony knows Dark Spirits is the GROWN UP version of Legend of Cadence! "
"... I'd say you're more like 'Edgy Teenager' Legend of Cadence than grown up Legend of Cadence. Should of like that phase my big brother 16-Bit went through."
"RAWR!" Flames spewed out of the game console as it took out a flaming sword.
= Legend Zelda - Main Theme Song =
Then Button Mash's Pretendo-Flip grew arms and legs, and took up the Master Sword and the Equestrian Shield, and leapt to Button Mash's defense. The Chosen Charcoal was no match for The Hero of Equestria, and the hero leapt up and stabbed the opposing console in the head. At which point it turned to stone.
-
"And that sister was Button Mash's dream last night."
"Sister don't you have a vow about not sharing such details about ponies' private dreams? Even if one seemed like a demented commercial than something from a foal's imagination, then again given who we are speaking of..."
"He said he realized it was a dream when he was playing a game his mother would never let him near in a million years. He was also upset that he didn't own a Pretendo Flip yet in real life yet."
-
There was a knock on the door, followed the squeak of it opening.
"Can I be your friend Diamond Tiara?" Button Mash asked smiling.
"Is this because I got a Pretendo-Flip and you don't?"
"Yes."
"... Come on in."
Session 64.17 Alex Warlorn
"So what's the game this time Twilight?" Spike asked, Twilight having taken over as Oubliette Overseer for this game.
"Oh, it's a game based on Wild Hooves!"
While the others were interested, Rainbow Dash groaned. "Twilight, are you sure about this? I mean, I've seen the foals play that game some times... the 'explanations' -" Rainbow waved her hooves in the air. "- they came up with for their super natural stuff so it can be science fiction stuff give me a headache."
"Oh!" Pinkie Pie smiled. "You mean like that time Twilight was SURE that my Pinkie Sense was really Human Pinkie Pie transmitting stuff to me that happened to her just ahead of time."
"It wasn't that bad... was it?" Twilight asked.
"Princess!" Sci-Twi defended. "For the last time, I've given my Pinkie Pie electric shocks like you asked me to politely ask her permission for, and your Pinkie Pie in her universe doesn't pick up a thing! All evidence points to this theory being wrong!"
"CHECK IT AGAIN!" Princess Twilight shouted.
"Come now dear!" Rarity said, "I think we should give it a try, I mean, how many times have we tried something new and different, and then regretted it? RHETORICAL!"
"Besides, whenever that happens to you girls on a weekly basis, the 'new and different' things always turns out to be great," Spike said.
Bit Later
"So you see, the zombies, are of course, no really zombies, since there's no such thing as zombies, they're really alien robots from another dimension who have gone back in time, who burrow in the heads of corpses, and built a nanite colony resembling brains, and are driven to learn more about the local planet by consuming the brains of the sapient life forms! So it makes perfect sense!... Girls... where are you going?"
Session 64.18 Alex Warlorn
Gabby, the CMC, sat in the three house with Garble. Garble was still the 'ambassador' from the Dragon Lands to Equestria (which kinda secretly annoyed Spike since he DID have a comfy job as 'Head of Dragon Relations' at Ponyville city hall that paid really good with minimal work before Garble showing up rendering the job suddenly mote).
"So! You wanna play a game? They're kinda all the rage in Equestria these days!" Sweetie Belle offered.
"Actually, I wrote my own RPG with my friends... I think you'll find it interesting."
-
"So you girls WANT ME to use mind control magic to make you forgot a game you played with Garble?" Starlight Glimmer asked.
The wide eyed and freaked out foals and griffin nodded together silently. They were trembling in their hooves/claws.
Starlight did a quick look around making sure Twilight wasn't nearby. "Okay, but don't tell anypony!"
"Hey! I got my cutie mark!" Garble cheered trotting in. On his flank was a crazy pony head, on fire. "Still not sure what it means though."
-
"And so my fellow Ninjas, this book is why even if we are no longer funded by Princess Celestia, we should continue to hunt down and obliterate all corruptive material that may harm our foals." Maternity Love Tap finished writing her letter in code.
Session 64.19 Mtangalion
Halfway across town, in Sugarcube Corner’s kitchen, Gilda suddenly went rigid, shedding a few feathers. “What… Whoa… What’s this weird feeling?” She kept twitching oddly, like the time she’d tried baking catnip into brownies and sampled the results.
Pinkie Pie’s eyes grew wide. “Ooh, is it like Pinkie Sense?”
Gilda’s talons screeched across the floor tiles. “Ugh, no… More like...” She blinked. “Oh, squawk.”
There was the sound of a crystal window shattering, and then the door of Starlight’s room banged open. Gilda stood there, her eyes blazing red. “Who did it?” She took in the sight of the traumatized young griffon and fillies. “Who’s been hurting hatchlings?!” Her burning gaze zeroed in on Garble. “You.”
“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about!” stammered Garble the pegasus colt. “As if I was gonna let them play some stupid game for babies like Crystals and Rainbows. If you ask me, I did them a favor and…” Gilda lunged. “Yikes!”
Starlight and the others watched Garble fly into the hallway at top speed with Gilda in hot pursuit.
“Would you cut it out?” protested Garble. They flew another lap around this floor of the castle, racing past Starlight’s room again. “Crazy birdbrain!” “That really hurts, you know!” “Stop pecking me!!” “Ow, quit it!”
Gabby sighed and looked away, embarrassed. “She went ‘mother hen.’”
“Sorry, did you say… mother hen?” Starlight discreetly started taking notes.
Apple Bloom blinked. “Wow, and Ah didn’t think she was even a mom.”
“I’m pretty sure she’s not,” said Gabby. “But, I’ve heard sometimes it happens to hens that are the right age, who really wish they had hatchlings, but they just can’t find any griff that’ll…”
“That is so none of your business!” shouted Gilda when she flew past again. “I can handle my own… kill, murder, protect hatchlings!”
“Okay, everypony and griffon just calm down,” said Starlight. “I know just the spell to fix all of this.”
Scootaloo poked Sweetie Belle, whispering urgently, “Where’s the mana bomb shelter?”
“Hah hah, you girls are such kidders.” Starlight waited, horn lit, then fired a spell into the hallway and around the corner. There was a strangled whinney that became a high-pitched cheep, and an adorable little griffon tumbled to a stop, a young male with golden fur and crimson feathers.
Gilda stopped too, eyes growing large and sparkly. “Hatchling… all alone…” She picked up the squirming and protesting griffon Garble, snuggling him. “Don’t worry little guy, I’ll take good care of ya!”
“The buck you will!” shouted Garble as Gilda flew out through the broken window and away with him.
Starlight laughed nervously. “We might need some more help for this one. I’ll just contact Trixie and…” The Crusaders and Gabby glared at her. “Fine, I’ll tell Twilight.”
Session 64.20 Alex Warlorn
As Twilight and Spike played checkers, Twilight said, "I still don't know how the griffins all ended up brainwashed."
"Well it IS your castle Twilight, I'd say it probably learned from you."
"Agh! Enough the 'brainwashing fetish' Spike! For the last time I don't have one!"
And In the Human world
"So tell me more about how you hypnotized the entire school planning to use them as your demon army Sunset," Sci-Twi asked.
-
"Please tell me you're not on that stupid forum again Aria!" Adagio complained.
"What? There are so many stupid humans who want to want to write about and role play people being put under mind control, it makes good side money selling 'pay per view' of our 'fictional' life story."
Session 64.21 Kendell2
"Wow..." said Minty, sitting at the gaming table. "Your character is named Minty?" she asked, cocking her head.
Twilight rubbed her head. "Yeah...I have NO idea how she ended up being...well, you..." she muttered, looking confused.
"..." Minty slowly put her own character and sheet on the table. Then compulsively made sure everything was ordered correctly. "...Mine is named Twilight Twinkle..."
Twilight stared for a moment, noting the similar cutie mark to her own and the bio even had some similarities.
"I swear I didn't mean to make it a copy of you!...Not that there's anything wrong with you, you're a princess and everything! And saved the world like nine times. I'm sure a lot of ponies pretend to be you, but I wasn't trying to!" Minty exclaimed, seeming to lose her train of thought a little bit as she spoke. "I made her on the way over!"
"Well...not that many..." Twilight said, with an awkward smile.
"Hey, Twilight?" Spike asked walking into the room with a letter. "Got another letter from a mare who named their daughter after you in homage. Should I put it with the others?"
Twilight blushed brightly. "Uh...yes, Spike...That'd be great."
She secretly wondered if Human Twilight was having similar problems...
Sci Twilight's Twilight in Rainbows and Crystals stared at another Twilight labeled 'Twilight Twinkle'.
'...Seriously, I haven't played before today, I have no idea how this happened...' replied the other Twilight. A quick look into it showed just that was true, to both their surprise.
Session 64.22 Kendell2
"...This character's weird but whatever," Garble replied, clawing (he was still a little griffon) Button back his profile sheet.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sweetie Belle asked. "This game is REALLY bad, like worse than Darkest Oubliettes bad!"
"Don't worry, Sweetie Belle, I've got this," Button Mash said with a confident smirk.
"Alright, runt, let's see how you handle it!" Garble growled back, smirking.
"Alright, so you're standing there with the six Chaos Demons standing over you, how you gonna get out of this one punk?" asked Garble, looking more than a little annoyed at this point. This colt was good. TOO good. It was like his character was perfectly made to counter every dark twist the game had without breaking ANY of the rules!
Button then gave a smirk. "Me and Sweetie Belle cast the spell 'Heart Song' on them.'
Garble laughed. "Like THAT'S gonna work! Their hearts aren't IN there genius! They're in the big eldritch abomination thing!" The spell called out to the buried heart of others to free them from corruption. Garble had had to work a few ways around it, but he'd never been worried. After all, you couldn't reach what wasn't THERE.
The little colt's smirk didn't leave. "And where ARE we?"
"Next to the lake of fire leading to the infinite darkness...where...the..." Garble said, eyes slowly widening as he realized the portal to said abomination was right in the room with them. "...Crud..."
They did the rolls, and the abomination failed its roll, meaning the spell was a success.
"Fine! You got them back to normal! SOMEHOW!" the dragon-turned-griffon growled. "But there's nothing stopping me from having the abomination take them BACK!"
"There's one thing," Button said with a smirk, taking out the rule book. "'When a character's spiritual essence is torn by an outside force, they take a 80 percent deduction to all stats for five turns and are stunned for two turns.' It absorbed that and now it was torn out of it, it totally qualifies!"
"That...that was only meant to apply to you!" Garble roared.
"Rules don't say that!"
Garble looked ready to torch the colt. "FINE! All the good it will do you!"
As the 'bosses' were now allies and the monster was stunned, Garble didn't get a turn to retaliate...
"...I throw ALL the bombs we brought with us right into the eldritch thingie's eye!" Button Mash stated.
Garble's jaw dropped. "I...I thought those were to blow up the Crystal Castle!"
Button shook his head. "Nope, I said we were gathering enough supplies to blow up the Crystal Castle, not that that was what we WERE doing."
Garble didn't currently have fire breath, but somehow his nose was still smoking. He rolled the dice. "Uh...failed! Didn't even hurt it! Looks lik-hey!"
Spike, who'd just been watching, pushed Garble aside and looked. "They got a winning roll, you cheater."
The griffon chick snarled, but found his claws couldn't hurt Spike at present. He looked at the damage tallies with wide eyes. "You...you killed it..."
The CMC cheered and Button gave a smile...then blushed when Sweetie gave him a small peck on the cheek.
Garble, on the other hoof, was redder in the face and gave a roar, flipping the table over and storming out.
"Where'd you learn to be so good at games, Button?" Scootaloo asked.
"My dad knows a game store, he taught me how to handle Killer Game Masters..."
Session 64.23 Grogar-the-oneser
"Your highness, its a report from the ambassador. He wants either to move to a different location, and if not then the dragon's greatest game-master to proverbially destroy a jerk child with stupid outdated hats."
"Denied." Ember said.
"Deny the-reassignment or deny sending a gamemaster?" The messenger asked.
"Both."
Session 64.24 Alex Warlorn
"Thanks for coming guys!" Rose said as she waved Cedric, Bella, and Willow off... Leaving only her roommate at the Funtasia Magic Academy, Lynn The Witch Pony. It had been anther season, and she'd finished up the ground work for what was going to be her most epic adventure she's done for her friends ever! While Will had been hesitant, and Bella hadn't quite gotten the point, they'd long since become regulars at the table.
"So, what did you think of my new villain? Not to give anything away yet but she's just the tip of iceberg for a storm of a larger threat in game."
"So how long until she's redeemed?" Lynn asked.
"Huh?"
Lynn said, "Rose, every time you introduce a new big villain into the campaign, we start taking a betting pool on how long it'll be before they're redeemed."
"I didn't redeem the Sirens..."
"That's because we had to cut the sessions short."
Rose's eyes shifted about. "Uh, no it wasn't! And I didn't redeem Tirek!"
"Yeah, for some reason guys don't seem to get an automatic forgiveness card in your campaign world."
"Hey! Is it wrong that I like the idea of ponies being super forgiving and bad ponies always turning good."
"But it's become predictable, and not to mention feels kinda forced, and I think the changelings looked better before the rainbow-sherbet flavoring. Perfect company for witch ponies."
"HEY! You promised not to bring that up again. I'm sick of hearing you complain about it over and over Lynn."
"Okay, I'm sorry, that was over the line. But I'm serious Rose, there's nothing pretty or wonderful of the bad guy turning good if it all just happens because you say so."
"I'm the Herd Master, everything is because I say so."
"That's not what I mean... Rose, I liked that you let us redeem Diamond Tiara, I even got to play as her for a few sessions... And I LOVED that you let me turn Trixie in a regular party member, but it just now feels... like there's no surprise in it anymore."
-
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filly_Funtasia
-
"What do you think they're thinking?" Pinkie Pie asked, looking down at the little figurines on the table. "Of all the crazy random stuff that happens to them, and all the weird decisions they suddenly make?"
"Pinkie Pie," Twilight said calmly, "They don't 'think' anything, they're just characters in our collective game of pretend. And hopefully we WON'T stumble across a rift in reality leading to a universe that echoes off of our game night."
"What if there are ponies in some other universe who role play us?"
"Now that's just silly," Twilight said, hoping those words WOULDN'T bite her in the flank.
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Great work
Release The Bunny.
But sir. We cant find 682. how will we stop him.
We're Doomed.
Poor Garble. the reason the ponies havent zapped him, is because he isnt considered a big enough threat by the Elements to power up?
I mean, its isnt like Pinkie to go all Primary Ignition Sequence Initiated.
Given Discord can Portal, D Jump, time shift, is immortal etc, just how long has he spent between Equestria, Equestria Girls, and other realities?
Twilight, it isnt just ponies that play you in alternate realities, close by, Gryphons, Minotaurs and Pirate parrots play you.. a little further away on a water world, some crazy squid dream up immense floating islands on the surface, and make games of what grows in the darkness beneath and the burning heat above and the seagrass shores.
Hmm. what would Garble The Breezie play?
Ah, that was it, Dragons. Pity Torch is the largest dragon, because it wouldve been hilarious if after all these millenia, Celestia had to give in, and accept Pa Trick Moon, the Dragon GamesMaster, to her ponies, when he finally awoke.
So I take it the authors aren't exactly fans of Warhammer 40k?
8420917
Thanks!
8421278
More not a fan of a MLP/Warhammer fancomic crossover that even the Warhammer friend of ours hates.
8421278
You're better off NOT reading it, even our friend who is a WH fan didn't like it. Which is why I've never provided a link. It doesn't deserve it.
8421157
I'm not quite sure which segments all of those jokes are referring to. But thanks for letting me know it inspired your sense of humor just a little bit! :-)
Well, that's what you get when you turn a symbol of America, whose first comic cover involved him bouncing bullets of his shield and decking Hitler in the face, into a Nazi and then claim it's canon when you could have so VERY easily saved your skin by making it a What If series.
If by grown up, you mean unnecessarily brutal and edgy and NO! NO! I am NOT going to go on a rant this time. I'm above that for now. And the last time I dealt with, that, I beat it in 3 tries and would have beaten it in 2 if I had equipped the right Ultimate.
You know what? At least he's honest about it. Better than putting on endless pretenses.
We talking the original short or the movie? Because the movie was made to be intentionally bad.
Meh id read it I like wh and wanna se wat people came up with>>8421614
I assume that one part of this is referencing. Crusaders10k. Out of curiosity what is so wrong about that comic? Can't seem to see it.
8422318
Nothing against the writers of this it just feels kind of like an attack against the creator. In my opinion at least.
Man I loved Garble in this chapter. Good introduction of a new character, but my favorite scene of all is Gilda capturing him as a griffon chick and mothering him. Hope to see more of that. You know what I was really surprised by? Not once did anyone make a joke about Gilda's "nesting" instinct.
8423367
Thanks!
8422142 Indeed with Secret Empire.
Which, btw, is officially the second worst selling event comic in Marvel history.
This would determine whether she would have a normal day or burn every tea shop in Equestria to the ground out of frustration. She had long suspected Luna of rigging the coin, but kept quiet out of a realization that it was the best thing to do.
Either Pinkie never learned where old pets go, or Suri's not the only one from a family of assassins.
This makes zero sense character wise, but on the other hand I'm choking back laughter.
And Alex dropped dead of joy.
Yay character growth!
As Dragonball and Jojo have taught us, there is truly no better way to experience the magic of friendship than by punching each other repeatedly.
https://youtu.be/6yV98UjGkLQ?t=11
An ex-Marvel fan, huh? Yeah, there's alot of those these days. I recommend any major DC comics, Green Arrow aside.
https://youtu.be/Rrm8usaH0sM?t=168
And you're about to have the most awesometacular adventure of self-discovery ever whether you like it or not!
Cutie Mark Crusaders spymasters! Yay!
They have access to Fluttershy's network! They're unstoppable!(or I just don't get it. whichever)
Ohhhhh. Now I get it. Also, d'aaw.
What decade do you live in? Everypony knows that Pothead is the new Dark Spirits I hate everything
My Little Pony: Friendship is Materialism
It means you are the chosen one, destined to save Ponyville's insurance premiums from destruction.
Awwww! This is the cutest thing ever! I don't care how many man points I lose for this, its just so darn adorable!
Starlight clearly had not learned all she should have about the residents of Ponyville.
8447229
TO be frank, I consider your commentaries as much as part of the fun as the group story itself!!!!
8447229
Actually Pinkie Pie is lying to Fluttershy to protect her innocence.
And I can't remember where it was said Suri is from a family of assassins.
:-D
The griffins.
You think of me!
8447229
That Sonic clip cracked me up. :)