Session 53
Session 53.0 QuartzScale
CEO Sombra stood at his desk awaiting his meeting with the two people Hope had found to play a role in the new expansion. There were several steps to take and he wanted to make sure that the others would be ready for necessary activities. Hope stood to his side reading over the contracts she had helped write up with Discord and Chrysalis. Needless to say she made sure the trolling was put to a minimum and there were no sadistic clauses. Hope really wanted them to say yes. Though she had an ulterior motive for her actions, one that Sombra didn't even know about. The pressure in her stomach was a bit uncomfortable but she enjoyed that her family would finally start.
"Honey it looks like the two are here now. Are you ready to wow them?" Hope sweetly spoke up hugging her husband and he merely nodded in affirmative. He had been toning down his sometimes controlling aspects with his employees the entire morning and Hope was glad he was taking this so seriously. With nary a word Hope opened the door revealing both Sunset Shimmer and Pony Twilight Sparkle though no one would be the wiser.
"Welcome ladies. Please take a seat and I'll explain why we wanted to meet with you two." Sombra spoke passively and in the warmest tones he usually saved only when he was talking to Hope. He needed to be charismatic and his victory over Rabia only made him more confident than ever.
The two girls took a seat. While Sunset seemed calm and collected Twilight was fidgeting and nervously looking at Sombra.
"Something wrong Miss Sparkle?" Sombra questioned the nervous lady who merely shook her head. Sombra frowned but the smile on Twilight's face lessened his worry.
‘Remember Twilight this is not King Sombra. He's not an evil overlord who puts ponies into slavery. This is President Sombra the leader of the willing employees of Crystal Soft. Don't freak out. Don't freak out...' Twilight was now sweating bullets but a smack across her arm from Sunset made her forget her worry and replace it with anger. ‘At least I'll be calm.'
"Well ladies I would like to know if you know why we called you in?" Sombra smiled at the two while the question hung in the air.
"Uh... You wanted to ask us about the incident with the hacker?" Sunset honsetly chimed in still unsure of the meeting. The email she got only said that she and REAL_Princess were requested by President Sombra for a meeting.
"You want a review of Crystals and Rainbows? I really like how much stress it pulls away from me" Twilight managed to speak up.
"Perhaps for my wife later. But, no, that's not why you two were called in. How much do you know about the development cycle for an MMO ladies?" Sombra asked once again the fire in his voice seemed to go into the beginnings of a spiel.
The two girls shook their head. While they knew about the developments for O&O games the digital process was above their level. At least for now it was in Twilight's case.
"Here's the main point and I think you'll like it. We need two people to join us for our next expansion which we will reveal more of during the next Crystal Con. And I think that those two people... could be you two." Sombra laid his cards on the table leaving two very stunned girls before him.
"U-u-u-us! Wh-wh-what do you mean?" Twilight sputtered out. Sunset merely nodded in agreement unable to truly articulate her thoughts which wanted to squee aloud. Hope spoke up.
"Well I noticed you two girls have been doing really well during your entire career within World of Horsecraft and you have both lead your groups to victory many times including against a certain hacker group which has already been taken care of. So why not extend that kindness to the two of you for all your hard work." Hope answered but Twilight noticed that she held back everything she wanted to say.
"Um... sure I guess we can agree to that. What do you need us to do?" Sunset answered for the two of them. Excitement was pushing her forward that she missed the cue Twilight had noticed.
"We want to make pony avatars for the two of you to use in the next expansion. You'll be playing big roles in the next one and we'll cover the details in a few days if that's fine with you. If you need legal to look over things I can get our company lawyer Tirek to come over and look over the contracts." Sombra finished only to notice that Twilight was pale beyond all belief.
"Something wrong Miss Sparkle?"
"No nothing at all. Just what can you tell me about Tirek?" Twilight stumbled out while keeping her eyes glued on Sombra.
"He's our company lawyer. He helped put away my crazy mother. You know the one who made games like Everfree Massacre or Crystal High Shootout. Can't have someone that dangerous out on the loose now, can we?" Sombra chuckled and Twilight really wanted to faint but she held it together
enough not to be swayed by the floor. It looked really inviting.
"Sombra do you mind if I finish up the interview. I know Discord wanted to talk to you about the three things he wanted to add to the game." Hope hinted at her husband while the two appeared to give her their undivided attention. They really wanted to know what they were going to add to the game.
"Ah you're right dear. I'm sure you two want to know but until that contract is signed and we know you're not going to tell all your friends I'm sorry to say that the secret stays with us to the grave." Chuckling all the way, Sombra stepped out of the office allowing Hope to take over for the meeting.
"Well here we are. Alone at last." Hope spoke as she took Sombra's chair and stared down the two girls. Both of them realized just how piercing her eyes could be and the crystal like shine coming off her made the two realize that she was much prettier than they noticed.
"Can we see the contracts?" Twilight mumbled out as Hope handed them both a copy. Looking over they noticed a lot of stipulations for breakage of the contract including a lot of non disclosure terms. Both the girls eye's widened at the bit rate. A lot of zeroes were coming out of their pocket should they speak or tell anyone. With a bit of reluctance both girls signed allowing them to be part of the Crystal Soft family in a sense.
"Now I have a question for the both of you. I would prefer you answer honestly as you can for what I'm about to ask. I won't be mad either." Hope spoke in a completely serious tone.
"Um... ok." Both Sunset and Twilight answered feeling somewhat nervous now at the prospect of the question.
"How did you two know about Crystals and Rainbows before it was released? We have monitoring on the beta versions so I overheard something you two said." She looked towards Sunset.
"You mentioned Unicornia as if it were a real place and that it was a kingdom some three hundred years ago. That was the lore bits I worked on a while back." Then she looked at Twilight who almost appeared more pale than when the mention of Tirek came about.
"You mentioned that you already made a character like you have in game like this game had a physical board to play out there even though the first and only mention of it in the entire world in this software that we developed." As she finished the words both Sunset and Twilight were gaping like fish, or deer caught in headlights. Then they both promptly passed out from shock.
"Huh... I didn't think it would be that hard to answer my questions. They're probably not hackers either since they stopped that other one. Maybe strange minds think alike. I'll have to talk to Megan later and tell her that our ideas were a success. Hopefully Sombra and I can go visit the farm soon."
Session 53.1 Kendell2
"Daddy?" asked the tiny Screwball program on Human Discord's desktop. "I looked at the Dire Bear thingie."
Discord nodded, typing 'And what did you find' in a program he made specifically to communicate with the AI after she became self aware.
"It's something that isn't supposed to be there and was triggered by...something...but it isn't hacking! There's no altering of the code! It just kinda...activated!" Screwball replied, looking very confused.
Discord tapped his chin. 'Hmm...My dear, I do believe that is a glitch!'
Screwball cocked her head. "A glitch?"
'Remember how I programmed you to stop ponies from using 'chaos' in World of Horsecraft,' Discord typed.
"Yeah."
'Well glitches are different. They're NATURAL chaos! Little abnormalities in the game code! Some are bad, some are good, and some are just hilarious! In fact, my dear, you were born from an act of pure glitching chaos!...And my boredom.'
"Oh! Yay glitches!"
'I'll handle it, dear. Go play in Rainbows and Crystals.'
"Yay!" the little AI shouted, trotting up the screen and 'clicking' the game icon, vanishing from the desktop with a ding.
Discord chuckled. "On one hand, I've created a truly sapient AI. On the other...I have no idea how I did it and can probably never replicate it."
Screwball appeared in the life sim world at her house. Her 'daddy' had given her an account and an avatar, though from her perspective the game was always in first person mode and she 'felt' everything around her. Unlike World of Horsecraft, she didn't have admin privileges and was just another player, but it was fun!
Especially when the game physics allowed her house to completely defy the laws of physics and be a chaotic mess! Of course the AI didn't know WHAT laws of physics WERE, but she wouldn't have cared if she did.
Session 53.2 QuartzScale
"So are we ready for the fight girls?" Pony Twilight asked as her and the Human Seven readied their characters for a big fight. They had just finished fighting the pony version of Principal Cinch as she sacrificed herself to awaken Sombra from the frozen glacier. Now he was held up within the chamber of the Crystal Heart. He had managed to steal it back during a cutscene where they could only watch as the shadows dragged it away.
"Roger."
"Ayup."
"I think I have all my potions ready...ooh I wish I had managed to still be a bear for this." Fluttershy cringed after they managed to free her character from the change.
"Don't worry too much about it Fluttershy. Can't make this too easy especially when we are totally awesome!" Dash yelled out causing Fluttershy to yelp in surprise.
"Now girls we need to be careful. Remember how much trouble it was just to get to the heart in the first place." Sunset spoke up. They all cringed at the mention of it. Somehow the traps within the game were scarily accurate. Pony Twilight had been the most freaked out when she mentioned seeing a room filled with nothing but quesadillas. Seems the trapped door filled with dark magic had done wonders to them. It wasn't as bad as the staircase that flipped gravity or the trap boss fight against Cinch within the ever shrinking crystal arena. It had been frustrating but they had succeeded in making it to the end. The first group to actually make it with the special quest done.
"Let's head in-" Before they could keep going through the next room they saw Radiant Hope standing nearby waiting by a save crystal.
"Welcome Heroes. I decided perhaps I should join you for this. I can't always rely on others to handle my burdens on their own. Maybe... Maybe I could reach him if I'm there as well." She spoke in a reverent tone causing a few of the more sentimental of the group to sniff in sympathy. Dash wasn't one of them.
"I don't know about this..." Dash spoke up. The entirety of the Changeling invasion had made her jumpy since a lot of the problems of the fight was that every quest could be sabotaged at any moment.
"Dash she's not a changeling. Remember they don't spawn within the Crystal Castle because of all the Umbrum soldiers. Besides she's a healer and we don't know if we'll be able to keep up with the healing. Remember what happened when we faced Discord." Sci Twi spoke up. She had remembered how long the fight had gone on. It had taken so many deaths just to even put a scratch on him. Then the farming on his nightmare mode form had been insane as well.
"Fine."
"Shall we go heroes. I'm worried what will happen but... I know that something will pass when this day is over." Radiant spoke as she trotted over to the group and allied with them following their lead like most NPC's. Both the Shining Armor and Cadence NPC's had stayed put near the Chrysalis boss fight most likely because they were needed there. The few info leaks of those who had tried to fight Sombra already never mentioned anything about the Radiant Hope NPC appearing before the fight. Steeling themselves they stepped through the threshold.
=Chrono Trigger OST Magus Confronted=
The party stood at the edge while the cutscene played out. Sombra stood with his back to the ponies staring into the Crystal Heart on the pedestal. His eyes burned with dark magic yet his face was anything more than lethargic. His eyes showed disinterest before his voice spoke up. It was rough and cold and devoid of any hope.
"I remember my time within this land... Only one friend who stood by my side. With ponies expounding on the concepts of friendship and tolerance. What a load of horseapples..." His voice crept up an octave filled with pure hatred at the idea.
"Sombra..." Hope took a few steps forward only for crystals to herd her away towards a wall.
"I'm sorry Hope. I tried to make it work. But all I ever saw was the darkness within. I had no mark to tell me my destiny. The useless excuse for the Princess of the Sun and the Moon had more purpose than I. Then the former Princess of Love knew what I truly was and said NOTHING!" Sombra turned around facing the party as true malice shined within his eyes though the melancholy was still present.
Sombra looked at the group before him and sighed. The rage dissipated and his sadness took over once again.
"Once we do this there is no going back. I will not stop but you may walk away from this. You have dealt with the bug and saved your kingdom. Should you leave I will stay within my realm. I'm done dealing with the lies that come out of ponies mouths." His tone sounded dead as if he was just going to stare into the Crystal Heart for the rest of eternity. He was about to turn back to it when the party regained their ability to move. They took one step forward and the music changed.
=Undertale OST Bergentrucking/Asgore=
"Fine you all asked for it."
Sombra held his eyes down casted in shadow as a frown appeared on his face.
Meanwhile...
"Looks like someone reached the final boss now honey. Ready to watch what we pulled off for the somewhat final battle." President Sombra sat back while Hope instead of sitting next to him sat on his lap and curled up with him. Getting comfortable the two watched in anticipation of the battle before them.
In game...
"I was brought about by ponies and their harsh tones for anyone who was different. They shunned what they couldn't understand. What is a Pony but a miserable pile of hypocrisy? But enough talk have at you all!"
Without warning he pulled out the Blade of Deepest Shadow then slashed away the very terrain around them turning the battlefield into a shadowed prison. Radiant stood nearby.
"I can't leave this section but I can still throw spells. Stand true brave heroes."
"To me slaves!" Sombra cried out as several Crystal Pony slaves came out. Each were wearing strange helmets that seemed to glow a sickly green as the group charged forward.
The slaves each targeted a different pony knocking them back forcing both Applejack and Sci Twi to form a defensive front for the group. The helmet had it's own health bar just like the blade did for the Tarnished Armor fight.
"Hit the helmets!"
It took a while for any helmet to be affected and the onslaught of darkness attacks from Sombra made it tougher for the group since he could debuff any increase should the sword physically strike the character. If he didn't hit then the chance of acquiring Crystal Madness debuff also could hurt. The debuff made characters sparkly like a Crystal Pony but forced the character to attack the party.
As the last Crystal Pony fell and Sombra's health hit the two thirds mark he reared back sending a wave of dark crystals to smack all ponies against the wall. A timely heal from Hope made it not instantly kill them all.
"The darkness will consume you all!" Sombra screamed as small umbrum beings came out of the bars of the prison. Then they infected the Crystal Ponies who had been knocked out twisting them into monsters. Sombra began using petrification spells forcing all characters with a timer. Hope could heal the effect but she couldn't mass cast it. Unfortunately her A.I. didn't differentiate on priority targets, namely those with mere seconds left. Luckily Fluttershy had a spell as well to negate it.
Several light spells were fired off by REAL_Princess which caused the Crystal ponies to stumble and fight back against the Umbrum possessors. Realizing what she did Twilight told the group to focus light spells on the possessed while the others focused on Sombra. Several times the party would fall due to a lucky swing from the blade or the petrification taking effect. At the one third mark the Umbra dissipated from the crystal ponies and they fled off the battlefield. In a fit of rage Sombra summoned another wave of crystals which knocked the party across the room.
"Jeez this fool is stronger than I thought." Dash said as another heal kept her character from outright dying.
"I will show you the true King of all Monsters in this realm!" Sombra yelled out as darkened crystals tore themselves out of the room and clung to the king. Within seconds the dark magic took effect and turned into monstrous armor for the Monstrous King. He was now three times as tall as a regular pony and the blade was now emitting dark purple energy from it. Though his act did free Radiant from the crystal prison.
The third form was a harsh reminder what would happen when a boss decided to go into their final form. Every swing nearly killed their characters on a direct hit. The healing from Hope barely mitigated the strain. Fluttershy's healing also helped keep them going as the health bar slowly trickled down.
Even debuffs on his armor would be negated as the dark magic kept it rising even through a barrage of light magic. As the bar settled lower and lower the armor started to fall apart. Then a cutscene took over as the last strike made the armor shatter.
"Sombra please stop fighting and speak with me. Please there is a better way your destiny is not written in stone and we can change it for you. Please come back to me." Hope teared up as she walked towards the weakened King who was still staring at the group harshly.
A prompt on the screen appeared.
-Strike while he's down...
-Wait a bit longer...
Twilight was conflicted as was the group. No one had found the Radiant Hope NPC before and there was no way to know the right answer. Unfortunately someone had slippery hands and poor impulse control.
"Let's get him now before he can get up!" Dash roared out. She chose the prompt just as the others cried out not to.
As the cutscene played on the entire party charged up an attack for the weakened Crystal King. Hope saw it and jumped in the way of the blast at the last moment. The ponies stood in shock as the harmony magic struck the defenseless crystal pony. Sombra's shock was all they saw as Hope fell to the ground. Hatred burning in his eyes he glared down the party while the party glared at Dash.
"Oops...heh heh..."
"RAINBOW!"
"So you want to see what monsters truly are. Fine my little ponies prepare to face true monsters." Sombra growled out.
The prison returned back to the Crystal heart room as Sombra ran his magic through it. The darkness from the heart tore apart the magical seals surrounding the base of the castle as a large door appeared before them. It slowly opened as darkness seeped out and covered all the land. Every Umbra monsters in the entire game instantly shot up ten levels and had several buffs put on them. The party was grabbed by tendrils of darkness.
The group landed themselves in the final area of the expansion. The Shadow Prison. Nearby at a save crystal was Radiant Hope breathing heavily against it. A quick heal from Fluttershy brought her back to her hooves.
"I'm sorry... I couldn't lose him again." Hope said as Sombra had fled into the prison.
The rest of the group quietly saved and got ready for the final dungeon.
= A later group that found Hope tried to wait instead of attack. They found out that the party would auto respond to the attack regardless and Hope would still get in the way.
=The later groups that fought against Sombra without finding Hope noticed that he had a fourth form where he took his true Umbrum body and attacked with pure darkness attacks and a few one hit kills should the party's defense be down.
Session 53.3 Ardashir
With a loud snap Twilight appeared outside the throne room of Celestia's palace. Light coming through the windows seemed to grow first wildly bright, and then dim again as she hurled the doors open.
"Princess!" Twilight recognized Kibitz as the grey-haired old unicorn galloped up to her. "Thank the Sun and Moon you've arrived! We were about to send for you."
"What's happening?" Twilight said, trotting into the throne room. Kibitx hurried to keep up with her as she said, "The sun and moon are going crazy! They're flying all over the sky! Half of Ponyville was at my front door asking me to explain why Fluttershy was allowing Discord to play with them."
"It's not Discord," Kibitz said with a shudder. "Er, that horrid creature isn't here with you, is he?"
"No, he's back in Ponyville playing a game of tag with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and some other foals." Twilight frowned to remember Discord's exact words. A 'perfectly innocent game'? "He had a suspicious smile on his face, though... But what's going on?" She froze. "What's happened to Celestia and Luna?"
"The princess have, well..." Kibitz took a deep breath as he opened the inner door. "They're having a drinking contest."
"Excuse me?" Twilight blinked. "I thought you said that Princesses Celestia and Luna were having a drinking contest, and --"
The next words died in her throat as a white blur with an ethereal mane and tail flew at her.
"OH TWILIGHT IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU HERE! NOW MAYBE I CAN CONVINCE LUNA THAT MY SUN GOES FASTER THAN HER MOON BECAUSE SHE SAYS IT DOESN'T THE BIG PHONY! NOW ALL I NEED IS TWELVE MORE CUPS AND I'LL BEAT LUNA!"
"What?" Twilight blinked and noticed Celestia was standing right in front of her. She seemed vaguely blurry, like Pinkie Pie when she was incredibly excited. Having spoken, the Sun Princess raced back to what looked like a cauldron with a fire burning under it. She dipped a crystal wine bowl into it and hurriedly swigged the contents down. Some almost black liquid splattered against her barding and chest. Twilight felt Kibitz shudder. Celestia swiftly drank down several more bowls-full. Twilight began to suspect what she was drinking. A second later a purple blur also raced to the cauldron.
"YOU'RE GONNA LOSE BIG SIS! I CAN OUTDRINK YOU ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!" To Twilight's horror Luna simply dipped her muzzle into the cauldron and seemed to inhale a tremendous dose before almost teleporting across the room to stand before Twilight and Kibitz. "PRINCESS TWILIGHT AND MY SISTER'S MAIN SERVANT, IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU! IF IN FACT I DO SEE YOU! NOW SOME HONEST PONY SHALL KEEP COUNT AND SEE HOW MANY BOWLS FULL OF THIS WONDROUS CONCOCTION MY SISTER AND I HAVE DRAINED!"
Luna raced back to stand by her sister as they took turns raising their respective celestial namesakes as swiftly as they could. Twilight sniffed and inhaled, only to gag.
"Is that coffee?"
"It was delivered this morning," Kibitz said, pointing to a large box nearby. The box's lid coincidentally flipped over, revealing both a return address and the message, 'Special Triple Expresso Worldbreaker Brand Coffee, Rated Only For Alicorns, Draconequi, and Similar Beings'. "Together with a note wishing their highnesses joy of the brew and suggesting they see which of them could outdo the other. But who could possibly create a drink so potent that it drove them both to acting like hyperactive foals --"
Kibitz and Twilight both broke off and glared in mutual recognition.
***
Back in Ponyville, a laughing Discord let the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Button Mash, and Rumble all ponypile him. The rest of the town was going about their business, cautiously, with only a few glances at the sun and moon as they wildly raced through the sky above.
"Hah! Okay, you win!" Discord laughed, and then tilted his head like he heard someone, two someones, yelling his name far off in fury. He grinned.
"Mister Discord, what's so durn funny?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Oh, I just felt somepony appreciating my special gift. Luna really does need to learn to stop at ten cups a morning, though."
Session 53.4 Devcon101
Octavia hummed a little tune to herself as she trotted up to her shared house, a saddlebag containing everything she had needed for that night's game on her side. Vinyl had left to play for a club in Fillydelphia and wouldn't be back for another day or so, meaning not only did she get a night to herself, but she also got to sleep in without being awoken by her roommate's rave music for once.
The mare stepped up to the door and, with one turn of the knob, opened the door, taking a few steps inside, only to notice things were different within her household. For one, propped up beside the door were a large, black suitcase that looked clearly overfilled and a case for a saxophone. And then there was the earth pony that sat in her chair, playing a game of solitaire. The mare had a brass colored coat and yellow hair done in a beehive style. A pair of glasses rested over her eyes, and most of her body was concealed with a large brown trench coat. As Octavia stepped inside, the mare looked up from her card game with a wide smile.
"Tavi! Been wonderin' when you'd get here. How's my little sis been doin' these past years?" she asked, raising a brow with a grin.
"...I've been fine. Now, Saxy, exactly why have you decided to waltz into my home uninvited?" Octavia set down her saddlebags beside the two cases as she closed the door behind her.
"Well, I came ‘round to visit you on your birthday, but apparently these ponies never bothered to build any hotels. Couldn't even find a motel! Or a casino. Or nightclub. This town's nightlife must be crap. So, I thought my little sis-"
"Could you please not call me that?"
"Whatever you say little sis. Anyway, I thought she wouldn't mind if I crashed at her place for a time. Wouldn't want to miss her birthday after all."
"...My birthday isn't until a week from now."
"That's why I came early," She sat back down and grabbed her deck of cards, shuffling them.
"I assume you'd let me? I mean, you wouldn't just kick me out...right?" Saxy asked, Octavia sighing.
"I'll have to talk with Vinyl, but for now I suppose you can stay," she said, sitting down on the surprisingly clean seat her roommate used, seeing as hers had been taken.
"Knew it" the mare muttered to herself, finishing her shuffling of the deck. "So, poker? Bridge? Or are you more of a blackjack mare?"
"Saxy, I don't gamble."
"Doesn't mean you can't start."
Session 53.5 Mtangalion
Windy Whisper stared at the blank parchment with slightly bloodshot eyes, then slowly and deliberately thumped her forehead against the writing desk. This gave her a mild headache, but it didn't shake any inspiration loose.
The young thestral sighed and spread her wings, floating her quill on gusts of wind again. "It was a deep and sombre night, storm clouds churning overhead when..."
Windy made a sour face, then crossed that out and started again. "Redpaw reared up, claws scraping the balcony railing, and howled at the moon."' Hmm, better... "His wolfpony pack, gathered in the courtyard of the old keep below him, joined him and twos and threes, adding their voices to the long, mournful chorus. He looked to Silver Crystal by his side, huddled against him for warmth, and said... I... like your mane?"
Windy groaned and crossed that last part out too. "Ugh, I have to get another chapter done tonight." She glanced at the mouth of her cave and shuddered at the daylight streaming in. "Today. Something. All in favor of donuts and coffee?" She raised a forehoof, yawning. "Hey, look at that. Motion carries."
Windy was halfway to Sugarcube Corner, flitting around nearly as unsteadily as Derpy, when a burst of magic expanded into a spherical portal. Old instincts woke her up the rest of the way, and she quickly dove and peeked out from behind a bench.
A blue pegasus stallion and a large male griffon emerged, getting their bearings. "Hey, Blitzy," rumbled the griffon. "You think it's still Ponyville on this side?"
Rainbow Blitz grinned handsomely, pausing to comb his mane. "Ponyville, Fillyton, Maresville... doesn't matter! I'm still gonna pick up way more chicks than you."
Guilder smirked. "You're on."
Already, the strange pair were making quite an impression. Cloud Kicker flew off course and into a building because she'd turned her head to ogle them, and Lyra didn't notice that she'd wandered off her path until she blundered into a fountain. Windy herself was scribbling down new story ideas like a mare possessed, trying not to openly drool.
Rainbow Blitz covered Pinkie Pie's muzzle, right when she was about to gasp. "Yo, Berry, I'm really happy to see you..."
"Pinkie!"
"... and I'm gonna let you finish, but a private party with the Blitz is the best party of all time."
Pinkie ooohed and batted her eyelashes at him. "We'll just see about that, mister."
Windy Whisper peeked around a corner, taking more notes.
Guilder was giving Gilda his most charming smile. "So how about it, sweetcheeks? Nothing wrong with a little shameless narcissism, is there?"
Gilda poked his chest with a talon, grinning dangerously. "Call me sweetcheeks one more time. I dare you."
A potted plant was lifted up... Windy was wearing it on her head as camouflage, scribbling away.
A small and completely inconspicuous cloud edged closer to Fluttershy's cottage, occasionally making quill-scratching noises.
Princess Twilight smiled at Guilder and Blitz, who were backing away in growing horror. She looked to the stallion beside her. "Yes, that's them, Zephyr Breeze. They just can't wait to hear all your best dating tips."
Rarity finished the last page of "Dusklight: Worlds Apart" and put the book away, sighing blissfully. "Where *does* Midnight Heart get her ideas? Not from anyplace as straitlaced as Ponyville, that's for certain."
Session 53.6 General Lemarc
The following is the reason why The Doctor no longer takes part in events which have the potential to become Muffin Trials(yes, this does need to be capitalized).
Time: The Third Great Muffin Trial
Place: Ponyville, the Hooves residence
"Oh Doc~ I want to have a word with you~!" Derpy walked back to the kitchen. Her wings were flared just in case of the chase.
The Doctor was in full-on panic mode. River would kill him(quite possibly literally) if this went where it looked like it would, and even the slightest chance of him becoming a father had the potential to wreck time itself-one of him was plenty, thank you. Bereft of his visor(and the confidence it gave him), he slowly backed away from Derpy towards her back door, while trying to think of something to say to get him out of this situation.
"Look! Its Batmare!"
In his defense, he'd never been very good at this sort of thing. Amazingly, it worked. Derpy looked away for a split-second, allowing him to dash through the door. If he could just get to the TARDIS, he could head to some far-off world for a few days-no, weeks until this all went away. He idly wondered if this justified another foray into a parallel universe; that one with the bipedal apes had been fun-the ape version of him had even had a (somewhat cool) bow tie. As he approached the TARDIS at full gallop, he noticed the caramel colored, straw-maned mare with the compass-and-blue-book cutie mark leaning against it...
"Hello sweetie."
River! Oh this was bad, this was bad. Well, he could either bring her and explain now, or try to leave her behind and explain later. He briefly considered the latter, but then realized that would mean leaving her with Derpy. Crazed, love-struck Derpy...
"TARDIS! Get in! Now!"
"And what has us so flustered that we've forgotten our sentence structure?"
"Crazy mare. Temporarily in love with me. Can't let River find ou...t. ...oops? Never mind, please just kill me later!"
The Doctor hurridly shoved River inside the TARDIS and immediately set the coordinates for a random system on a list of around a dozen he kept for just such a purpose. That done, he turned back towards River, bracing for a lecture, and found...a remarkably calm mare.
"Oh don't look so scared. Hardly the first time this has happened. Remember the Pie Wars?"
"The what?"
"Whoops. Guess we're not there yet. Regardless, its fine. How'd it happen, though?"
"Muffin button."
"...I'm going to assume that makes sense"
Before the Doctor could reply, the phone rang.
"Hel-lo Doctor!" Came a sultry, sing-songy voice. Oh. Oh no.
"How do you have this number? More to the point, how can you contact this number?!"
"Oh, Twilight has this cool gadget she brought back from the mirror world. Anyway, guess what I found in my mailbag? Somepony sent you a postcard, and I forgot to deliver it. Silly me. I just don't know what went wrong!"
The Doctor idly wondered how she was able to make that last sentence sound so forboding, as he had just realized where this was going.
"But don't worry Doc. I'll be right over to deliver it. See you sooooon!" The phone clicked.
The Doc stood stock still for a moment.
"River?"
"Yes?"
"Did you send me a postcard?"
"Um...yes?"
"Oh. Ok then." With little to no warning, the Doctor flew into a blizzard of action, twisting knobs, pushing buttons, and generally doing everything possible to get as far away from Equestria as was possible.
"Of course this would happen, of COURSE it would!"
"Sweetie-"
"I'd rather be fighting a Smooze-covered Tirek right now! Leading a Changeling army too!"
"Sweetie-"
"Why did I suggest the mail service to Queen Platinum? Why didn't I just give them telephones instead of-"
"Doctor you will explain this to me right now!"
The Doctor turned and began advancing towards River.
"Neither snow nor rain nor the space-time continuum shall stay her from the completion of her appointed rounds" He muttered, as if making an incantation to an unholy demon. "Don't you see River? DON'T YOU SEE?! Forget the Smooze, NOTHING CAN STOP THE MAIL!!!"
Before River could respond to this odd outburst(which, by her standards, was well and truly saying something), she was cut off by a knock at the door of the TARDIS. Which was still in transit. Through time. "Mailmare!" Sang a voice that sounded like it belonged in a form of media unseen by Equestrian eyes.
"Doctor? How is that possible?"
"She's the most dedicated mailmare I've ever seen throughout the cosmos. She delivers mail like Pinkie Pie enforces Pinkie Promises."
This gave River some pause(Pinkie Promises being one of the few truly-unbreakable contracts in the known universe), but didn't dissuade her. "That just raises more questions, the main one still being how that is possible?!"
"...Muffin button."
"Open the doooor Doctor! I know how to pick locks!"
"But the TARDIS doesn't have a physical lock. How could she-?" River began to ask, but was cut off by her soon-to-be-ex(if that madmare had anything to say about it) suitor.
"She also doesn't really know how to pick locks. I'm sure that won't matter either. Now please help me find somewhen to hide before she gets in here!"
To be continued...
Session 53.7 QuartzScale
Derpy sat at her table a bit in awe what was before her. On her right sat Bon Bon and next to her sat Big Mac. On her left was Shining Armor. She blinked a couple times but for some reason she didn't know why these two were here either. Wracking her brain for answers she could only remember something about ‘testing the muffin button' by Twilight after she heard something from Discord who had let it slip a few days ago.
‘I'm gonna make sure to get the Doc someday. The muffin button shall be avenged!' Derpy thought.
"Thanks for have us over Ms. Hooves. I'm sorry it's on such short notice." Big Mac drawled out while eating his own special apple slice muffin.
"I'm honestly not sure why I'm here but I appreciate the snacks as well." Shining answered in response as well making Derpy smile at the kind gestures.
Bon Bon said nothing but knew what was coming up. The muffin button was something that she had learned about after the fourth time she wore the blue suit and red tie combo. After a while she treated it to the same effect as her job as a secret agent. Roll with the stomps... or something to that reasoning. Lyra had said once that it was roll with the punches but only bipedal creatures could do that... at least well enough.
"Who wants the last muffin?" Derpy singsonged causing Bon Bon to tense up as the two stallions both shouted out.
"ME!"
With nary a hesitation Derpy pressed the muffin button and the world began to change for the courtroom. Bon Bon stood by in her aforementioned attire and waited for the transformation to finish on her two guests.
Big Mac was the first to change and suddenly he looked very dapper. He was wearing a very large silk top hat and silkened suit with a red tie. In his hooves seemed to be an intricate puzzle box which he seemed to be looking over the intricate details as if searching for the secrets of the universe or just the box in front of him. He still had his stoic gaze but it seemed to be filled with the want for knowledge.
Shining finished soon after and was wearing an extreme amount of armor over his full body. Wrapped around his neck was a purple checkerboard patterned scarf and across his back was a green cape. His normally blue mane had turned a darkened red and seemed to stand up straight but wavy. Levitating in his own magic was a large spear with a barbed tip. His eyes seemed to be convinced of his own worth of the muffin and left Derpy a bit intimidated. That spear looked too pointy to eat muffins off of. She would rather use her own hooves.
"Please make your case."
"Of course Ms. Hooves. I believe I deserve the muffin. I reckon that it will give me the strength I need to figure out this here puzzle box. Captain's of the Royal Guard need to keep themselves regimented and fit. A muffin would be counter productive." Big Mac drolled on providing some logic on the matter.
OBJECTION!
"This blasphemer is obviously a witch and should be burned at the stake for his lies. That muffin belongs to the hooves of this pony before you," He pointed at his own body. " I, Inquistor Armor, deserve that muffin for providing entertainment to the entire equestrian continent thanks in no small part to my friends who work tirelessly to make it all possible.
Elsewhere...
Gaffer and 8-Bit felt their souls get lighter as they worked on their next big project. They were being praised by someone.
Back at the Muffin Trials...
OBJECTION!
"If'n you're calling me a liar I reckon you got another thing coming..."
Both stallions got up and looked down at one another ready to charge at the other. Derpy quickly pressed the muffin button while Bon Bon snacked on the last muffin while everypony was distracted.
Shining and Mac looked around utterly confused and sat back down rubbing the back of their necks from the embarrassment. They quickly apologized while Derpy brought out the extra muffins she made in preparations for a small party of ponies. With a small sigh the three ate muffins in complete silence happy by the divine baked confectionary from the gods.
Meanwhile...
"I don't understand just how powerful that button is... Discord how much magic did you use to make that?" Twilight turned to the confused Draconequus.
"Not that much. In fact it should have run out of magic about three trials ago. I've even asked some of the other chaos gods from different dimensions and none of them are setting foot in this universe unless invited. You know how dangerous this particular universe is with all the games of chance being played for the fate of the universe." Discord quipped as he kept scanning the area for rogue magical signals. There was nothing connected to the muffin button.
"Really!? I mean, nevermind. What should we do about it?" Twilight kept her panic low but it was still visible.
"Give it two more trials... If it gets out of hand I'll ask for it back. I can't assure that the residual magic won't still be around but at least everypony involved had fun." Discord rubbed his neck both in boredom and in confusion.
"I suppose. We could give it three. Just in case it runs out before then. You do have a way to keep it safe right?" Twilight quirked an eyebrow at the draconequus who merely waved his claw derisively. Unsatisfied but out of time, Twilight teleported off and awaited the next use of the Muffin Button.
Session 53.8 Mtangalion
Sweetie Belle yawned and stretched herself awake, puzzled by the peculiar lighting in her bedroom, even before she opened her eyes. Was there a storm scheduled this morning? She rolled over and tried to snuggle deeper into her bedsheets, only to realize that she was snuggled into a warm fuzzy pile of diamond wolf pups instead. She groaned, patting her wet nose with a fluffy white paw. "How does this keep happening?"
Elena nosed Sweetie playfully, ears relaxed and curly tail wagging. "Svity's really surprised that we found her so fast, isn't she? We've been practicing!"
Pavel grinned. "Icehome Deep Hollow Puppy Pack Super Trackers!!" Katya yipped and Andrei barked excitedly, while Sasha howled his support... right into the ears of Katya, who growled and covered Sasha's muzzle with a paw.
Sweetie giggled and wagged her own tail, despite her confusion. Surely, this had to be a dream. Yes, just a strange, recurring dream where she couldn't find the zipper of her enchanted wolf costume no matter how she searched. "It's nice to see you all... heh, again."
"Well, that's enough sleepy time!" declared Pavel. "Time to play more Ponies and Princesses!" He play-chomped Katya's flank to get him moving, which set off a flurry of dashing and barking and spreading out cushions to cover the stone floor of their "secret den," and general running in circles until everywolf settled down.
Elena opened the game box and took up the game module in her reddish-brown forepaws. "Today, Twilight's pack is summoned to important pony capital, to meet Princess Celestia!"
"All praise to Celestia!" barked Andrei. "She's the best Princess! ... That's what Applejack says, not me."
"Yes, yes," said Pavel. "Twilight Sparkle also bows to great mistress and teacher!"
Elena turned a page. "Great Princess Celestia called you here because Koschei has been super-naughty and played tricks on ponies again. He stole the best, shiniest jewel necklaces, the Elements of Harmony, when no pony was looking! And he also plunged land into chaos, made houses float upside-down and stuff."
All of the diamond wolf pups gasped in outrage. "Koschei will be sorry!" barked Pavel. "We'll definitely get those shiny necklaces back!"
Sweetie Belle blinked. "Wait... shouldn't that be Discord?"
Elena tilted her head in confusion. "Says Koschei, right here in adventure book."
Pavel nodded fervently. "Everywolf knows Koschei. He's the super no-good trickster of the gods who even plays pranks on Luna!"
Far away in Canterlot, Princess Luna was sit about to sit down for a scrumptious moon pie snack when a loud sneeze put her on her guard. She checked her favorite chair and levitated a whoopie cushion out of it. "Discord!"
Discord appeared in a flash, chuckling to himself. "Just like old times, eh, Lulu?"
Session 53.9 Ardashir
"Uh, why are we here again?" Rainbow Dash asked, stepping aside from passing Diamond Wolves. Some of the lupines glanced at the ponies but mostly they seemed content to go about their own business. Dash glanced up at the too low for flight ceiling and shook herself. "Geeze, Rares, I thought you got sick of those wolf games."
"I am," Rarity said as she kept a wary eye on the Wolves about her. She smiled to see many of them wearing the gemstone studded collars that sold so well in her Icehome shop. "Well, maybe not sick, but Alisa's tendency to pretend to be me or some other pony could get tiresome. But while we're visiting the Crystal Empire, Twilight can visit her family and we can check on my business." Dash moved uneasily past another pair of Wolves, scarred and fierce-looking. Rarity added in a darker tone, "That, and find out just WHY my parents allowed Sweetie to come here -- alone!"
Icehome itself was much larger than the ponies would have expected, with ornately carved walls covered with images of Diamond Wolf history: the First Pack fleeing Discord's reign, fleeing again from the Umbrum, finally carving their own home from the glacial ice and rock. Traditional light-gems and heatstones hung in wrought iron sconces under arches, and bulbous domes showed in the distance. Icehome had spread out from the caves ever since the Diamond Wolves had officially returned to the surface, working as a cheaper (and colder) alternative to staying inside the Crystal Empire itself. In the distance, through a window carved into the cave walls, Rarity could even see one of the Equestria Royal Hotels for visiting ponies.
But despite all that Icehome and the Diamond Wolves were still only slowly joining the larger society around them. It lacked the multi-species nature of Equestrian cities; besides herself and Dash, Rarity only saw Wolves about them. Many Wolves looked at the visiting ponies with heads cocked in confusion. One or two even tried to lean in close and sniff, eyes wide and ears cocked forward. Dash glared at the ones that tried and they hurried off. When one tried it on Rarity, she gently swatted him with her tail.
"Ah-ah-ah! Good sir!" Rarity bestowed a dazzling smile, remembering Alisa's warning against the display of teeth. She batted her eyelashes. The Wolf looked pleasantly poleaxed as she said, "In civilized company, one does not sniff ladies without being invited! Now then, perhaps you could tell me where the local Carousel Boutique is?"
"Shop where Alisa sells fancy collars from Rarity-pony?" The Wolf said, his voice a low and not unpleasant rumble. "Is right ahead, down main tunnel."
Rarity thanked the Wolf and sashayed past him. She ignored the snickering she heard from Dash. "Heh. Now ya vamp wolves too?" Her local shop lay just ahead. She frowned to see the interior dark.
"Ya close in mid-day?" Dash flew over to the door and touched her hoof to it. It creaked open. "Wow, Alisa must really trust these Wolves."
"It's supposed to be open," Rarity trotted forward and read the sign hanging by the door. "'Closed for now, have to watch puppies'? What?" Rarity hurried inside the darkened room. "Alisa! What's this about minding puppies? And do you know where Sweetie Belle is --"
She froze as half a dozen sets of glowing green eyes suddenly appeared in the darkness around her.
"ATTACK!" Rarity shrieked as half a dozen little furballs pounced her. She shrieked even louder as some very sharp little teeth nipped at her. They yipped excitedly. "Alisa can't fool us! We're too smart for her!"
Rarity, Her of Equestria, Element of Generosity, did the only thing she could think of when attacked by half a dozen rambunctious Diamond Wolf puppies.
"AHHHH! HELP! I'M ABOUT TO BECOME PUPPY CHOW!"
"B-wahaha!" Dash rolled laughing behind her. "Sorry, Rares, this time yer gonna have ta help yourself!"
"Big sis!" One of the puppies, a white one with pink and purple fur accents, grabbed Rarity's nose with her forepaws. "We're not going to hurt you! Err, I mean, 'not going to hurt Alisa's Mistress Rarity...'" Her voice trailed off as Rarity snatched her up.
"Wh-aa-at?" Rarity glared. The puppies backed off. All save the one Rarity held. "Sweetie Belle! What are you doing in that wolf costume?!?"
"Err," Sweetie grinned, displaying flat equine teeth. "Hopefully not getting in trouble?"
Session 53.10 Ardashir
While the ladies were visiting Icehome and the Crystal Empire, back home the boys were trying to introduce a new player to their Ogres & Oubliettes game.
"Like, there's nothing you guys can possibly teach me about this!" Zephyr Breeze folded his forelegs across his chest and sat back with a smirk. Big Mac, Spike, and a subbing for the usual GM Discord looked at him skeptically as he bragged. "I used to play this game all the time. Uh, before I got too old for it."
"Okay then, Mister Wise Guy," Spike said. He pointed at the board, where their characters were setting up an ambush for an owlbear. "What's your brilliant idea for how to distract the owlbear?"
Zephyr grinned, picked up his character's cardboard stand, turned away and worked at something for several moments. He turned around and with a triumphant smile said, "This!"
Spike, Big Mac, and Discord all stared in disbelief. Zephyr held up his figure -- now with a figure of another owlbear crudely drawn over it.
"Oh, man," Spike groaned. "That's not what I think it is, is it?"
"It's my character's disguise as an owlbear!" Zephyr lifted his head high. "While it checks me out, you guys can get her from behind!" At their stunned looks, he sniffed. "What? We already know that no mare can resist me. Dash had to go North to that petting zoo just so she wouldn't throw herself at my hooves. So my amazing charisma and sex appeal," he tossed his mane back with one hoof, "should work on an owlbear, too. Great idea, right?"
"Eee-nope," Big Mac shook his head.
"I'm with Mac," Spike held his nose. "This plan stinks!"
"Can we please get this game going?" Discord made a cuckoo clock appear. It rang three, and a little wooden cross-eyed Nightmare Moon shot out three times and gave her maniacal laugh before it vanished. "I don't have all night."
He opened his mouth to say more. Zephyr turned and held his hoof out, setting it over Discord's mouth.
"I am talking, thank you," he said. "You may wait your turn. Oh, don't you glare at me. I know my big sister orders you around like a pet dog. Nopony is afraid of you any more. Isn't that right?"
Zephyr blinked to see Big Mac and Spike backing away from the table, their eyes wide with horror. He looked up and saw Discord looming over him, claws ready to snap.
"Oh, really?"
Moments later a screaming Zephyr Breeze raced around the room, with a hulking female owlbear how on his heels.
"Hooty-hoo!" It hooted, claws outstretched and little hearts orbiting its head. "Hooty-hoo for snu-snu!"
Spike tapped Discord on the leg as he floated in midair, eating from a large tub of popcorn.
"Fine," Discord rolled his eyes. He raised his claw. "I'll send it back home before it hurts Fluttershy's idiot brother."
"No, no," Spike said. "I was just gonna ask if you had another bucket of popcorn."
Session 53.11 Mtangalion
Rarity was distracted from scolding her sister by a chorus of small but serious-sounding growls. The Diamond Wolf pups had surrounded her. "Give Svity back, crazy stinky changeling!" snarled Pavel. "Our pack is strong, you'd better not mess with us!"
Rainbow Dash was having another giggle-fit, rolling on the carpet outside the store.
Rarity gasped, letting Sweetie slip from her hooves. "Stinky!" She paused, considering. "Oh dear. Perhaps instead of using fewer scented beauty products, I should have..." She shuddered. "Foregone them entirely!"
There was a sharp gust of wind, and all the glow-gems in the jewelry shop came on at once... soft multicolored lights sparkling over a dragon's horde of jeweled collars and anklets. Alisa herself padded out from behind a counter, wearing a finely wrought golden collar set with a polished onyx. "Changeling? Heh, pups have such imaginations! Why would they think a changeling was coming here?"
Elena smacked her own face with a paw. "Alisa tricked us again!"
Alisa beamed, fangs hidden. "Pups were good spots." She dropped a small paper bag onto the floor and nosed it towards them. "Here, have treats."
Rarity sniffed the air and drew back, her muzzle curling... the treats smelled like *meat*, dried and spiced.
Sasha and Andrei bounded forward, but Pavel quickly barred their way. "Could be another trick!"
Alisa shook her head. "Pavel's father wouldn't forgive Alisa if she poisoned you."
Pavel bristled, taken aback. "What? I'm a strong wolf now! I don't need dad for every little thing!" The pup sniffed deeply of the snacks, then tasted one slowly and beckoned to the others, and only then did the whole pack join in.
"Huh," mused Rainbow Dash, grinning as she watched. "You Diamond Wolves are pretty big on loyalty, aren't you?"
Katya looked up at Rainbow, blinking, then at the Ponies and Princesses game box, then back and forth again. "It's... real Rainbow Dash? And real Rarity?!"
"As real as it gets!" said Rainbow smugly. "Huh..." She squinted at the game box. "Did we authorize that one?"
"I honestly have no idea," said Rarity, head still spinning from all the revelations. "You'd have to ask Shining Armor's associates."
Pavel poked Sweetie Belle. "Come on, Svity, have some! They're good treats!"
But Sweetie would have looked a little green, if she hadn't been wearing the costume. "Pavel... guys... I have a confession to make. Rarity there, she *is* my sister. I'm not really a wolf." Now, thankfully, she found the zipper without any trouble and peeled the costume off, shivering in the suddenly-colder cavern.
All of the pups gasped. "It was a trick?" asked Elena, looking hurt. "Svity lied?"
"I didn't mean to!" blurted out Sweetie Belle, sitting and drooping her head submissively. "I put the costume so I could explore the city, and you all came along and just assumed... and I was having so much fun making new friends and playing games that I never said..."
Pavel loomed over her sternly. "Hmm! Svity is a good wolf, even though she's a pony! Pack can forgive her." He grinned toothily. "After she's punished!"
"What?" yelped Sweetie. "Ack, no! Not the cold noses!" She giggled, squirming as the puppy pack rushed in.
Rarity tensed, until it was clear that her little sister really was just getting tickled and not chomped. "Alisa, darling," she said quietly. "We need to talk about how my sister got here. Oh, and one other small matter."
While the pups and Sweetie started organizing another Ponies and Princesses session, dragging Rainbow into it too, an amused Alisa motioned towards the store office and quietly led Rarity there. "Yes, Mistress?"
Rarity took a deep breath. "I need to find someone called Midnight Heart. She's..."
Alisa raised a forepaw at once. "Alisa knows of her." There was a sour expression on the Diamond Wolf's muzzle, something that Rarity hadn't seen in some time. "Alisa still owes Mistress Rarity for other mean tricks, so... She'll tell Mistress straight out. Luna has outplayed Mistress, she came to Alisa first. Alisa will not help Mistress Rarity find Midnight Heart."
Rarity sputtered in disbelief. "Oh all the... Forgive me if that doesn't seem like much a favor."
Alisa grinned impudently. "Could have lied and sent Mistress Rarity on wild pony chase."
"Well, there is that." Rarity sighed, pouting. "I suppose it was a slim hope at best. You probably have no idea who Midnight Heart really is."
Alisa pricked her ears up. "Of course Alisa knows. She has eyes. Mistress does too, if she stared at things besides sketch pad and dresses. Now, how young Mistress Sweetie got to Icehome without taking train, that's a good mystery!"
Session 53.12 Alex Warlorn
There was a knock on the castle door, which Spike opened, revealing a unicorn in a green and red tuxedo with swirlie eye glasses. "Hello, I am from the Equestrian Mind Control and Hypnotists' Society. Can you please direct me to the greatest mind controller in Equestria?" The stallion levatated a golden trophy with the year's date stamped on it with a swirl eye on top.
Discord popped into being. "Don't mind if I do! Thank you, thank you, it's an honor to receive this lovely award, AGAIN!" A spotlight and rose pedals floated down. "As the longest running holder of Greatest Mind Controller/Hypnotist in Equestria, I'd just like to say-"
The stallion whose cutie mark was a pocket watch, pulled the trophy out of Discord's claw/paw. "Actually, Mr. Discord, you're not the winner this year."
"SAY WHAT?!" Discord snarled.
"What is going on in here?" Twilight came in with Starlight and Trixie coming right behind her.
"Ah, the greatest mind controller in Equestria, I'm here to give you your trophy."
"Well," Starlight blushed. "I'm not one to brag-"
"Princess Twilight Sparkle." The stallion gave Twilight the trophy.
"WHAT?!" Discord and Starlight both gasped.
"Wha-?! Tha- AGH! You have got to be kidding me!" Twilight did not look happy.
"None at all. According to our records, your quota of mind controlled creatures is currently the highest in Equestria, the Trophy is yours."
"I don't want it!"
"Use it as a back scratcher."
"I already have a scepter for that!"
"Well, it's yours and that's that."
"NO, IT ISN'T!" Discord thundered. "I demand to challenge her position! That trophy is MINE!"
"And Starlight does as well!" Trixie said quickly pushing her friend forward. "Starlight got an entire species to turn on their head of state with a three minute conversation! That has to count for something!"
Starlight stuttered. "Trixie, you know that isn't-"
"Very well, I suppose then it is between Discord, Starlight Glimmer, and Princess Twilight Sparkle."
"I don't want any part of this!" Twilight exclaimed.
"You are legally obligated to defend your title."
"... Fine! Let's get this nonsense over with."
Then Ex-Queen Chrysalis smashed through a wall. "NOW HOLD ON!" "My poor castle!" "I am a better mind controller than ANY of these losers! I demand a chance to prove it!"
Starlight snorted. "You can't just come in here, you're a criminal, and-"
"Very well, your diplomatic immunity is restored for the next 24-hours, and will be terminated at the end of the contest."
"You can't do that!" Starlight exclaimed.
"I just did."
"Ugh!"
"YES!!!!"
"Any other contestants?"
"WAIT! We're in!" The sirens came CRAWLS through the mirror since they couldn't levitate without their gems, they trail of slime in their wake.
"HOW DID YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON!?" Twilight shouted her eyes crossed.
"I... may have been broadcasting MY award giving across reality," Discord said.
Twilight screamed.
Sunset came rushing in as well. "Come back here you slimly... Oh... Huh? What's going on? Mind control contest? Okay, I'm in, just to make sure the Sirens don't cause trouble."
"Sunset!"
"Don't worry it'll be benevolent mind control."
"There's no such thing!" Twilight stamped her hoof.
"Yes there is." Chrysalis, Discord, and Starlight all said together, then glared at each other.
"Only one of the fish ponies may enter so not to give an unfair advantage."
"That's racist!" Sonata shouted.
"Them's the rules. Now then, Very well, since the challenge has been made and been accepted. Those involved have 24 hours to mind control/hypnotize as many sapient beings as possible.
1) You can't mind control/hypnotize creatures who have already been mind control/hypnotize by one of the other competitors, during this competition, for this competition.
2) You can't mind control/hypnotize each other.
3) Nor may you mind control/hypnotize your subjects explicitly to hinder the others.
The tally will be made magically."
"How about you give me my reward right now!" Discord made like Emperor Palpatine and zapped the stallion with force lightning. The stallion removed his glasses, to reveal they were already swirlie.
"Sorry, I was explicity hypnotized, to resist any hypnosis by contestants to ensure a fair contest. Good luck to all, and made the best mind controller/hypnotist win!"
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So when is Zephyr and Owlbears Wedding, and will Bugbear be there as the brutally annoyed psychotic ex?
8040517
OY!
A lawyer. He's even worse than in Equestria!
Kinda funny to be honest.
A case of That One Boss, eh?
Presumably to let the players grind for items/levels if they feel unprepared.
I understood that reference.
Second phase.
And you're a fool for that.
That's bullshit.
Oh that's just fan friggin' tastic.
What.
Coffee. Oh lord.
Discord.
This is going to end in hilarity.
You monster.
Hey, it worked for Goku.
This amuses me greatly.
It's like Lanipator and Arin's video game arrogance and refusal to listen to others fused into one.
And that's what you get for pissing off a guy who can reshape reality to his very whims.
Good.
She could have, yes.
The hell?
Eh?
8041428
Thank you for the commentary.
8042068
:-)
8042964
Yes.
Lots of great Zephyr Breeze this chapter!
I do love the idea of Blitz and Guilder getting all the mares in any dimension. But now I also love the idea of Blitz being creepily stalked by Butterscotch's sleazy sister Eurus Gust. And honestly, I think Zephyr saved the day here. Otherwise Guilder and Gilda would have "crossed the streams," so to speak, and I think that could destroy the universe.
The sequence of Sweetie Pup was heartwarming and adorable, thank you.
I like the idea of Zephyr joining their group full-time, especially if it gives Discord an easy outlet for his mischievous impulses.
Of course Alisa knows Midnight Heart! Midnight Heart is Equestria's premier expert on fictional vampires and wereponies, in a story about turning mythology into games. And who can best make Vampires and Werewolves into a game, if not White Wolf?
8044869
Given cultural double standards, you think she scores more stallions than Breeze does mares.
8044869 Thanks!
Alisa doesn't actually know Midnight Heart. She just knows or thinks she knows Midnight Heart's identity. When asked, Diamond Wolves and Dogs have been offended by Rarity's "you're secretly wolfponies!" theory. The "White Wolf" connection is funny though, and honestly something that hadn't occurred to me. :)
I hadn't found a gender flip name for Zephyr Breeze I liked yet, searching the net. I was thinking of using Summer Gale if it came up.
8044869 I love the 'White Wolf' bit.
It works so perfectly.
8045173 I dunno, I could see Eurus focused pretty tightly on Rainbow. Rainbow Blitz's cloudhouse has a lot more cloudlocks on the windows, I'll tell you that.
8045206
Jeez, how could the deceptive wolves who constantly disguise themselves as ponies possibly have given credence to this theory?
8045746 Next edition of World of Darkness will have all characters unzipping themselves from their disguises and revealing themselves as the pony to the right.
Who Octi sister? I like to know more about her.
8046213
I think they were invented on the spot just for that post. I feel this place is getting infested with OCs.
All right! Time to laugh myself to tears at 12:30 am. Nothing could possibly go wrong!
And what even is that in the cover art?
Minimum being a relative term.
Thank Celestia games like Hatred never took.
Ooh! Lemme guess! Um, an enemy that randomly changes your race but you have no idea that's what did it, a plot-related(and intentional, and much harder to fix) version of WoW's blood plague, and a limit to the number of each item that can be bought per month because forced scarcity totally makes people want it more!(What? I'm not bitter about the Switch at all!)
MWAHAHAH!
Not sure how it took 53 sessions for this to happen, but yay! I've always wondered why there aren't more Megans in EqG stories.
You literally created life, and told nobody. I'd make a Reed Richards Is Useless joke, but this is still Discord.
Or you could just prevent an obvious problem, thereby making you a better author than a good portion of the comics industry, both past and present.
Humane. Hu-mane?
*facedesk* *facedesk* *facedesk* HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THAT WAS PRINCIPLE CINCH?! *facedesk* *facedesk* *facedesk*
How'd they manage to do that? I'd say data mining, but that's only so accurate.
*nothing more
Yes!
Run!
Full disclosure: I might have Pinkie drink some of this should it become necessary
Well, to be fair, Twiligh-I mean Twilig-I mean Dusklight is written at a Sweetie Belle grade level. What? I don't know what grade she's in.
Sometimes you just wanna watch the world burn. This is one of those times.
Rule 63 Dash is Kanye. This makes way too much sense.
It had to be done. At least we know Twilight can make the tough calls.
Do you...do you even KNOW what town you live in?
Not if Part 3 of the Great Muffin Chase has anything to say about it!("I hope!"-The Doctor)
Is that a reference to Chess Game of the Gods? Dang, its been years since I read one of those stories.
The Muffin Button has a power beyond magic-the power of MEMES!
HOORAY!
Why did they create this character? I mean, the episode was great, but they had to know what they were unleashing upon us.
...You deserve everything that is about to happen to you.
Excuse me while I laugh myself purple.
Oh, this can only be wonderful
And I'm right!
REALLY not helping there, Trixie. Also, that's not mind control; that's persuasion via heroic speech.
And this is now the best thing I've seen all week.
Yes, Sonata. Math is racist. Blah blah political joke tumblr fox news blah blah condemnation of millions for disagreeing.
This is amazing. Ponyville shall forever remember this day as The Day Everypony Got Mind Controlled Again(Seriously, What Is This, Like The Third Time?), It shall be held aloft as a day teaching the dangers of mind-control and the necessity of creating shorter titles for things.
8041428
It literally saved his life and facilitated space travel, and this time around it was created by Discord(who might have made it to begin with). As far as I'm concerned, it can do literally anything, other than not start Muffin Trials.
Yay! And it only gets better.
8040517 On the one hand, driving a pony insane through disproportionate retribution is wrong. On the other hand, I think Owlbear will have some competition from Rule 63 Zephyr. I'd spend the requisite hour it takes to set up my microwave just to have popcorn for that.
8047333
You've never heard of a BEHOLDER?! One of the iconic monsters of Dungeons and Dragons?!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beholder_(Dungeons_%26_Dragons)
http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Beholder
http://dungeons.wikia.com/wiki/SRD:Beholder
Their tentacle eyes beams, anti-magic center eye, and telekinesis, have more ways to kill you than you have fingers. They're also incredibly xenophobic. And they think another beholder that looks even slightly different from them is a affront to all things Beholder and is tolerated at best, but is better to be obliterated! They have an outer brain and an inner brain rather than a left brain and right brain.
8047333
You mean the GLORIES of mind control don't you?
8047333
You've never seen a beholder before? SERIOUSLY?! One of the basic iconic D&D monsters?!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beholder_(Dungeons_%26_Dragons) The center eye is an anti-magic field, while the rest of the eyes are spell caster rays with effects like instant death, petrification, vaporize, those sort of things.
8046725 That good or bad? I tried to keep my OC's to a minimum. Only ones I created throughout this entire story is extended Sombra family and that was only for a one off maybe more if I can think of something that would make sense for them.
8047333 The three things he wants to add will be discussed at the next Crystal Con. I'll write up the fight against Rabia next session. 55 mind you.
The data mining came up a while ago and an interview with Pinkie who blurted it out by accident.
On another note I'm waiting General. I want to see how the Doc get's out of this one. Though I'm gonna say that nothing will discourage that mailmare from breaking the laws of physics to get her check up. *nudge* *nudge* *wink* *wink* say no more, say no more.
Discord is more mentioning the constant times that games have been used to change the world. Emperor Blackthorn used them. Bahamut used them. Honestly in this entire story games are the sole thread that ties everyone together and has extended to beyond even gods.
Muffin button will get an explanation much later. In three stories in fact. Remember I still have the investigations games. Lyra takes the stage.
8047465
I always felt Blackthorn was a poor fit with this drabble collection. He'd have been more at home in a grim and gritty 'shadows and conspiracies' story.
8047572 True I suppose but I think that he adds something to this story. Every villain that is in this story falls into saccharrine levels of what constitutes evil in Equestria. I feel that with him in the story it makes villains in this particular world a credible threat. Chrysalis is fine but she will forever be known as an almost threat and constant failure. Heck her second canon plan was just her first plan more thoroughly thought out. She can be a credible threat but at worst she is a terrorist. The other canon villains are conquerors and god like beings. She is barely reaching their weight class. Even with the comics and their portrayal she still only can go so far. Not to say she isn't dangerous of course. She's just more manageable than the rest.
As for Blackthorn, yes he doesn't fit the mold as all the other characters in this story but at the same time without him this story is very much slice of life with certain characters falling into the antagonist role. This particular character gives an out in a sense of having someone who can be a credible threat and is very dangerous when he decides to be a threat. Regardless of how long this story will go on you always will have one antagonist who could possibly be there for a final confrontation even in the guise of a 'game'. Remember Jigsaw liked to play his games too and his were always for keeps.
8047361 Ah. Thought it was an mlp monster I just hadn't hear of.
8047465 Oh yeah! Those games that are always priced double and that don't get their sequels ported over!(comedic bitterness aside, I can't wait)
8047874 I've almost finished the first one.
8067252
Which one?
8085583
Which one? And thank you.