Session 31
Session 31.0 Mtangalion
Sunset and her friends were having another get-together at Sweet Apple Acres, but Rainbow Dash and Gilda weren't having that much fun. While most of the others watched the newest Sharknado movie, they were at the kitchen table, sighing over calculus textbooks.
"Okay... we can do this," said Rainbow Dash, though she was starting to think that slamming her forehead against the textbook might be more effective.
Gilda gritted her teeth, nodding. "Totally! We can stop thinking about W-World of Horsecraft for five minutes... and read this textbook! It's the same at both our schools. We're not some lame addicted losers!"
Rainbow cupped a hand to her mouth and shouted, "What are the roots of X squared plus four?!"
"Ah'm not saying," came AJ's voice from the living room. Gilda and Rainbow snickered anyway.
"What about you?" Gilda asked 'Karl.' "Got any study tips? What do you griffons even do all day with no computers?"
Karl never looked away from Gilda's laptop. "Not now! My priest is about to reach level ten!"
"Dude..." grumbled Rainbow. "Not helping."
"I knew it!" cried Rarity. She came stamping into the kitchen, a smug look on her face and her smartphone in hand. "What do you think of this... *Gerold*?"
'Karl' put the laptop down, startled right out of his game.
The phone had a picture of the Griffonstone Griffons high school soccer team, and one of the players did look uncannily like their guest. "I knew I'd seen him somewhere before!" crowed Rarity. "How very strange, that Rainbow Dash didn't recognize him right away, seeing as how she doesn't miss a single detail when she's in the midst of a game!"
Rainbow laughed nervously. "I... kinda might have been sworn to secrecy?"
Gilda coughed. "Yeah. Can you imagine how screwed I'd be if word got around that I'm hanging with the identical twin of the guy who's only the hottest athlete at my school?" She blinked. "Wait... Is your name really Gerold?"
He laughed honestly, slapping his pants leg. "I was wondering if you'd ever *ask*."
Rainbow sighed. "And... we're still not getting any studying done. I can't take any more of this, I gotta get some air!" Magic swirled, making pony ears peek out of a longer rainbow mane. She spread blue wings and darted straight out the open window.
Gilda sat up straight. "Wha? Can she do that?" She jumped up, grabbing Rarity's shoulders. "Can she do that?!" Another blink. "Can *we* do that?"
Gerold stood up, eyes closed and a fist clenched beneath his chin. Magic flared again... larger blue griffon-styled wings spread behind him, and a phantom lion-tufted tail swished by his ankles. He grinned broadly. "Gilda. I've often found that it's better to *do* and ask 'may I?' later." He climbed out the window and launched himself into the sky, following Rainbow.
"Oh heck yeah!!" whooped Gilda, manifesting bronze wings of her own and chasing after him.
A shocked Rarity looked to Twilight and Sunset, who'd burst into the room just in time to see that.
"Well," mused Twilight. "He's a native Equestrian, and she's at least been to Equestria, so I suppose it makes sense, as much as anything related to magic ever makes sense."
Sunset facepalmed. "I hope they fix that problem with Princess Twilight turning evil soon."
Fifteen minutes and a crazy game of aerial tag later, Rainbow Dash still wasn't tired of flying. "Well, that tears it. There's no way I'll be able to concentrate on studying now."
Gerold banked over, flying beside her. "We could rest on that cloud. That always helps me clear my thoughts." Gilda and Dash stared at him. "What?"
Session 31.1 Ardashir
"ARRGH!" Grogar stumbled and roared as a blue pegasus rammed into him. "No! Cursed pegasus, you can't defeat me! I am Grogar the Invincible --"
Sci-Twi, as DM, winced as Dash jumped up on her chair and rolled her dice at the same time. She spoke in a voice that echoed from the walls.
"AND! I make one last Sonic Rainboom-powered cannonball special right into the Bell of Freedom!" She looked at the dice. "Woohoo! Yes! Natural 20! I totally critted him!" Dash jumped into the air and almost came down feet first on the table. Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rarity hurriedly snatched the food and drinks to prevent catastrophe.
Dash slowly realized that her friends were glaring at her.
"Rainbow," Applejack said, "Ah know ya like ta be dramatic, but can ya tone it down just a tad?" She tapped the hand-made and carved table. "Ma grand-pappy made this table from the first tree he ever cut down at the orchard!"
"Oh. Heh, sorry," Dash tamely returned to her seat. She looked at Twilight and said more calmly, "Uh, I did enough, right?"
"You sure did," Twilight said, tapping the character sheet before her. "Grogar stumbles to all four knees. He looks at you as though preparing one last spell, and then collapses with a dreadful cry as he and his terrible city of Tambelon are both drawn back into his prison dimension. The end." Twilight stopped. Dash gave her a pleading look. Twilight rolled her eyes and said, "And everyone cheers Rainbow Dash and her amazing friends for saving them all.""
"Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie and Sunset thoughtfully cried out. Dash jumped back up in her seat and bowed to them.
"Thank you! Thank you!" She smiled hopefully at Sunset and half purred, "An' a hero deserves a special reward, right?"
Sunset folded her arms over her chest.
"I'm not doing your algebra homework, Dash."
"Rats!"
Session 31.2 Alex Warlorn
"HA! My space station blows up that stupid planet that was between me and your little pony you have your base on! Now to blow it up!"
Twilight Sparkle nodded. "Yes, you did. It would have taken you fifteen minutes game time to circle around the planet into firing range. And now, you have to wait three hours before your main weapon can recharge."
"W-wh-what?! But-BUT THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT! What about in the third movie when-"
"Different one, different design, and had countless improvements over the original version, you build the smaller more economy sized version since you didn't have enough resources to build the big one."
"But-but! That parody stripe I read! It had-"
"The artist obviously didn't actually read any of the source material."
"Rainbow Dash, Ah don't think tactical thinkin' is yer strong point." Applejack said since no one else would.
Session 31.3 Mtangalion
Twilight rolled the dice and squinted at something behind the GM screen, then pushed her glasses back up with a finger. "The entrance to the cargo ship's bridge is guarded by two more agents of SIREN. They're watching alertly, but they don't seem aware that the boat has been infiltrated. What do you do?"
Gerold grinned smugly. "I climb up to the second level of the metal boat, keeping to the shadows, then glide down and take them by surprise from behind!"
Gilda burst out laughing, and quickly stifled it down to just a snicker. "Nice plan, but, uh... Star Spangle can't fly."
Gerold did a double-take. "What?" He started looking over his character sheet again. "But, Star Spangle is human, is he not? All of *you* can fly."
"Ah can't," said Applejack. "Unlike some folks..."
"Don't look at me," said Spike the dog. "Not that I'm human or anything."
Pinkie stared into the distance, tapping her chin. "Hrrm.... Ooh, does floating up in the air when all the rainbow sparkly magic happens count?"
Twilight shuddered, and Sunset hugged her. "Shhh, it's okay, Twilight. You don't have to try that again until you're ready."
"Um, ordinary humans can't fly," said Fluttershy softly. "It's because they don't have any magic."
"Then what is that?" said Gerold, pointing at Rarity.
Rarity had been holding her ponied-up form for nearly ten minutes now, and she had a mirror compact floating before her in a pale blue aura that matched her eyes. "Ugh, I'm certain this would be easier if I had a horn like the one I had in the other world... but how would I style my hair around a horn? What's the most fashionable way? I just can't decide!"
Then she blinked, realizing that everyone was looking at her. "Is it my turn? So sorry, darlings! Red Recluse steps out of cover and uses her Seduce ability, so that the guards will turn their backs on Star Spangle!" She rolled the dice without touching them.
Twilight had taken some deep breaths, and seemed better now. "A sixteen means that your Seduction is completely effective. The guards don't suspect a thing." She looked to Gerold. "And what Fluttershy meant was, ordinary humans don't have flying or magic or anything like that. We're... a rather unusual group."
Rainbow Dash nodded. "So it's super-important for us to keep this stuff a secret. Or at least not have rumors runing wild outside the school. We're not looking to become the real life Retributioners." She smirked. "At least, not yet."
AJ rolled her eyes. "Ya might have reached that conclusion *before* somebody sent all those unmarked black drones to snoop around mah farm."
Gilda groaned. "Sheesh, we said we're sorry! Can't we just play already? I'm bored, waiting to get to the part where Griffon and Eagle Eye join in." She muttered under her breath about Dash calling dibs on Griffon.
Gerold folded his arms across his chest. "Your wargame is more complicated than I expected! I still say that Star Spangle is a mighty hero of his nation, and he *should* have flying powers... oh, fine. I fall upon my distracted foes and disembowel them with a flick of my talons!"
Futtershy gasped, and slammed her palms on the table, glaring at him.
Gerold recoiled, even scooting his chair back a few inches. "I meant... I draw my belt knife and..." Fluttershy narrowed her eyes. "Prisoners! Yes, we should take some prisoners! I bash them unconscious with my magic shield. Then I take some rope from my pack and tie them up!" He grinned. "I tie secure knots in the ropes with my human fingers, which is a thing that humans can also do!"
Sunset Shimmer pinched the bridge of her nose. "I knew we should have played the Almighty Thorse module."
Session 31.4 Alex Warlorn
"For the last time Fluttershy no!" The human Rainbow Dash said. "I am NOT playing Crystal and Rainbows 3.5."
"But you used to love this game! I still have your character sheet for always dressing in style!"
"I also used to love Happy Flower, but I don't now."
"I thought you stopped liking that because you were getting bullied about it."
"Uh! Of course not! I just realized how it was for babies! Ya know? It's not exactly aimed at teenage girls."
"I still like it."
"ME TOO!" Pinkie Pie added.
"You would."
"How about another game? Called homework! Unless you want to play the ever so popular LARP 'Summer School' Rainbow Dash." Sunset Shimmer said, happy to have gotten over her fear of giving her opinion.
"... Ugh. Fine!"
Session 31.5 Ardashir
(OC: Getting back to game night with Chrysalis.)
"Okay, forget it." Chrysalis looked disgusted as she read the O&O game book, Lords of Evil that Twilight had at the table. "You even try using some of these things, and I am leaving. Even if it means I have to go back to prison."
"First of all, I'm not using them." Twilight removed the book from Chrysalis' claws. "Secondly, you're not supposed to be looking at it anyway! And what are you talking about?"
"That." Chrysalis pointed at one description under demons. As she read it, the other ponies (Experience taught Twilight that she wanted her friends close by when they had Chrysalis over) began to look ill. "A demon that represents foal killers? With the 'holy symbol' of a bloody cradle?"
"What? Thet can't be for real -- augh!" Applejack snatched the book and read it. "'Served by black swans, uses a hammer for a sacred weapon...' The hay?"
Twilight squirmed under the collective glares of five ponies and one Changeling Queen.
"It's marked 'not suitable for foals', you know! Big brother told me about it, how he and his friends wanted to see how creepy their imaginations could get when they wrote a book about demons and devils..." Her voice trailed off at their unconvinced looks. "Hey every colt goes through a 'I love weird-nasty stuff' phase, they outgrew it!"
"She's right, you know," Rarity said. "It is only fiction. And why would it bother you?" She looked directly at Chrysalis, ignoring her bared fangs. "You've done some terrible things. You boast about them at this table."
Chrysalis sniffed. "I may be ruthless, iron-willed, and capable of going to great lengths in the name of fulfilling my destiny to rule all Equestria," Chrysalis looked at the book and made disgusted noises, "but I never hurt foals. And anyling who ever did, I'd send to Tartarus."
"What about that one time ya ponynapped the CMC?" Dash gave her a dirty look, as did Rarity and Applejack.
"That was politics," Chrysalis grinned a fanged grin. "Not for, for pleasure."
Session 31.6 Zaku789
"They saw you visibly squash a citizen of Lovey-Dovey Land!"
"Alright, so I don't hurt them physically," Chrysalis said with a roll of her eyes. "You ponies, are so nit-picky. I bet you're the sort who build cart for your siblings without their input and refuse to let them drive said cart."
"No we-" Twilight was interrupted when she heard Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Applejack whistling. "You didn't."
"Foalhood trauma," Rarity answer simply.
"Trying to uphold tradition," Applejack said a bit shamefully.
"Wanted to see if my old design was still as fast as I remember."
Session 31.7 Mtangalion
A side door swung open, and Bon Bon backed into the room on three legs, her fourth hoof in an oven mitt, carrying a tray of fresh cookies. "Who's ready for some gaming night snacks?"
"Don't mind if Ah do," said Applejack, accepting a cookie and taking a bite right away.
Rarity waved Bon Bon off, murmuring about watching her figure, and Twilight levitated a cookie over, her attention mostly on the monster compendium, circling more entries in red. "Thanks, Bon Bon."
Queen Chrysalis looked at the cookies with deep suspicion. "Nectar is sweet enough for me. I tend to find your pony confections sickeningly sweet at best. Oh! No offense, dear."
Bon Bon beamed. "Are you sure?" She took a cookie and held it out. "These are a special order, made with love!"
Chrysalis accepted the cookie, sniffing it. "You're good, wolf. I almost didn't sense your spiteful glee. Tell me, how much poison joke did you put in this one?"
"I... I don't have any idea what you're talking about, you buggy murdering hag!" stammered Bon Bon. "Poison *cookies*? What pony would even do that?!" But she left the tray and made a hasty retreat before Rarity could do more than rise from her chair, shaking a hoof at her.
Session 31.8 Alex Warlorn
"uh, Rainbow Dash, what is that?" Princess Twilight Sparkle pointed, having just come home.
"What's what?" Rainbow Dash replied looking up at the latest Daring Do novel (featuring the expies of herself and Quibble Pants).
"The obscenely large pile of bits in my living room you're using as a couch!"
"Oh! That! Well, they couldn't deliver it to my house, so I had them forward it to yours."
"Rainbow! Where did all those come from?!"
"Royalties."
"Royalties?!"
"From my new game, I asked Soarin' and Pinkie to help proof it for me before I showed to your brother's gaming buddies." Rainbow Dash pulled out a box from a nearby saddle bag and tossed it to Twilight who caught it in her magic.
Twilight read the cover, her eyes widened. "28 Cookies Later?!"
"Yep! After that prank you guys all conspired to scare the horse-apples out of me, I thought, HEY! That would make a great zombie movie! But it got caught up in red tape, so I made it game instead!"
Twilight opened the box, finding dice, figurines, maps, a one minutes and fifteen second and the like 'hour glasses' and a rule book.
Twilight flipped through the pages. "Rainbow Dash these rules are a convoluted and exploitable mess. Are you seriously telling me you made all these bits from this thing?"
"Hey! Everypony thinks that the whole 'turn ponies into zombies from cookies' is a fresh spin on things. And I included you guys as boss zombies!"
"Rainbow Dash! I'm sure there are laws against that!"
"Tell that to AK Yearling."
Twilight Sparkle changed colors in ways that were not magical.
"Just WHO is buying and playing this thing?"
And right on cue. "Scootaloo! Be careful! Those cookies could be infected!" Said Sweetie.
"We don't have time to check before the zombies get here!"
"Put on Thriller! They'll break into a dance number giving you plenty of time to escape!" Suggested Apple Bloom.
"The cookie horde, led by zombie Twilight Sparkle, began to dance in sync to the music," Twilight heard Spike's voice say.
Twilight Sparkle groaned. "And I'm sure they're under age for that game."
"Hey, it's only rainbow cookies turning ponies into zombies."
Session 31.9 Zaku789 (with edits)
"Uggh. Are you lot still obsessed with your zombie prank?" Starlight groaned as she enter the room.
"No," Twilight Sparkle said. "THAT is over and done with! Rainbow Dash is the one dragging it on."
"Uh... what is that very large pile of bits doing in the living room?" Starlight asked.
"Apparently Rainbow Dash thought our prank would make a good role playing game... Even though the entire prank was a group effort idea Rainbow Dash! One YOU had no intentional contribution to! You do realize this can count as idea theft?"
"Doesn't count if you didn't trademark it!"
"When did you learn trademark law?"
"Your brother's buddies explained one or two points, they had to say them in 20 words or less bursts to keep my eyes open, or use Wonderbolt metaphors."
"I should have known..."
"Look Twilight, all those pranks cost me a pretty bit."
"A skunk, sneaking into a foals' classroom, a brick, and moving Applejack's bed, and a costume capable of scaring Fluttershy were expensive?"
"Well, there was the giant decoy cake and the sewing machine cake."
"Pinkie Pie paid for those cakes out of her own wallet."
"Yeah, so I owe her some bits I need to pay her off! And Rarity is kinda ticked off that I didn't tell her where I'd put her real sewing machine before I zoomed off so she demanded I pay her back for all the time she spent looking for it. And... and... an entire town's worth of prank cookies wasn't cheap. That's part of the reason why I use it for a failed movie and now game. Yeah.... those pranks cost me future paycheck of both my Wonderbolt salary and my weatherpony salary for the far future."
"Serves you right," Starlight Glimmer said.
"... I still have mixed feelings about this." Twilight grumbled.
"Oh relax Twilight, so you're a boss zombie that's getting her butt kicked in a game. It's not like ponies will go all sadistic and take out their frustration on the fictional you," Rainbow Dash said calmly.
(Meanwhile in the Changeling Kingdom)
"MWAHAHAHAHA!!" Chrysalis, cackled as she use the most sadistic measure in the game to torture the fictional zombified Elements of Harmony while laughing like a deranged lunatic.
"Remind me to write a thank you note to the stupid rainbow-maned one. And buy the royalties to this one, it'll make a great new supplement to the changeling RPG."
(Meanwhile in the Tartarus)
"MWAHAHAHAHA!!" Tirek roared he use the most sadistic measure the game allowed to torture the fictional zombified Elements of Harmony.
"Where did you get that?" Pinkie Pie asked, rather non-Pinkie Pie like in a matter of factly tone.
"I, I brought it." Scorpan admitted guilty. "I thought having to work together with others in a hopeless situation would help."
Pinkie Pie said, "Uh, you do know the goal of the game is to HELP the ponies who have been turned into cookie zombies right?"
"I am helping them! I make it so they can't suffer anymore."
Pinkie Pie shuddered. "Rainbow Dash..."
(And at Fluttershy's house)
'Destroy! Destroy the infected!' Angel mimed as his army of survivors stormed through the pretend zombified horde.
Fluttershy frowned.
Session 31.10 Mtangalion
Rainbow Dash was just fluffing up her cloud mattress, already looking forward to all the cool new pranks that she might dream up overnight, when somepony started hammering on her door. It took a lot of effort to properly knock on a cloud door, too.
Dash flew to the front door and opened it, and immediately got a sinking feeling when she saw Princess Twilight on her porch, levitating a stack of scrolls and a quill pen. "Um... heya, Twilight! Whatcha been up to?"
Twilight grinned smugly. "Oh, just a little thing I like to call 'doing the math.'" She unrolled the first scroll. "This is how much you paid for one hundred boxes of novelty joke cookies." She floated a second scroll over. "This is a letter from the Filly Guide board, stating that they won't prosecute you for the theft of their cookies..."
"Theft!" exclaimed Dash.
"... if you pay them back double the value of the Ponyville shipment." Twilight scratched in some more numbers with her quill. "You can probably recoup some of that cost by reselling those cookies yourself at a discount... here's my estimate for that... which still leaves you owing more bits than you've earned from sales of that game. The game, I might add, that was a lucky success that you didn't plan on at all."
"I... I'll pay it all back! Somehow..." Dash's ears pricked up. "Twilight, you could help me! Don't you have those new discretionary funds to help staff your castle?" The pegasus hovered so she could press her forehooves together, groveling. "Please, Twilight, I'll do anything!"
Twilight glared at her. "Rainbow, this isn't a game. You can't expect to bluff your way out of bills, or fudge some dice rolls to find extra gold under a random rock on the side of the road." She smiled. "But, since you're willing to do anything..."
Rainbow gulped.
"I've decided that we're flying to the Crystal Empire, first thing in the morning!"
"But... why? That'll take all day if I go slow enough for you to keep up."
"Good!" Twilight levitated a book out of her saddlebag. "That should be plenty of time for me to read this entire book of sound financial planning advice to you out loud." Twilight glared down at Dash, taking rare advantage of her extra Alicorn height. "I refuse to let one of my friends become a dead-broke, middle-aged, washed-up, former pro-athlete!"
Dash sunk lower and lower with each word, until it was a wonder she wasn't tunneling through her own cloud floor. "Hey, you never know!" she retorted, winking. "Maybe I'll figure out that whole Alicorn thing too. I'm awesome like that."
Twilight shook her head. "Dash, it's even *more* important to make smart financial decisions when you're immortal."
Dash's muzzle fell open. "You.. you've really put a lot of thought into this stuff, haven't you?"
Twilight grinned. "You don't know the half of it, yet. Oh, and since I know you'll probably get bored or try to weasel out of this..." She opened Dash's front door wider, revealing a familiar griffon on the doorstep beside her. "Gilda is coming along to help!"
Gilda turned up her beak. "Gosh, it sure must be nice, having a big fat contract with a major sporting organization. That sounds way easier than doing part-time jobs baking and selling scones to scratch out a living." She waved a wing dismissively. "I flew all the way out here for you, and the cold up north sucks, so don't you even think about ditching, unless you're some loser who knows she can't manage her bits half as well as I can."
Rainbow Dash got right in Gilda's face, and then she grinned. "You know me too well."
Gilda smirked back at her. "Yeah, ain't I a stinker?"
Session 31.11 sonicandmario826
Next morning during the flight to the Crystal Empire, Twilight began wondering about something.
"Rainbow? What did you do with all those stolen cookies?"
Rainbow groaned and facehoofed before replying, "I was going to hide them with someplace nopony would find and return them once the prank was done, but looking back at it I should've known not to leave it with the person I left it with."
Twilight looked at Rainbow with a raised eyebrow asking, "Who?"
*Meanwhile at another time and another dimension*
Discord wasn't sure what to find more impressive. The fact that Rainbow Dash had managed to navigate through his dimension or that she did it while somehow caring a huge supply of filly scout cookies.
"About time sompony delivered cookies to me. I really need to talk to sompony about the postal service in Ponyville. I mean seriously my Gala ticket was about a week late!!!"
The pegasus rolled her eyes, "Maybe the reason you aren't getting any deliveries on time, is because what happened to the last mail pony who last made a delivery to you."
Discord quickly retorted, "Hey!!! He made it out fine... mental scars notwithstanding. It's not my fault someponies can't handle my beautifully chaotic dimension. After all you seemed to get through it fine."
Rainbow just smirked, "Easy, because I'm awesome. Anyway these cookies aren't for you. I need you to hold on to them for an awesome prank I'm planing." Rainbow Dash smiled. Barely able to contain her excitement and told Discord her prank.
The draconequus voiced his approval, "Ooooooh! Pranking the whole town I approve." Discord then grabbed the cookies at once and surprised Dash by somehow fitting them all through his door at the same time. "I'll watch these cookies, you better go get your prank ready," Discord said before he closed his door.
Rainbow was just about to fly away before she remembered something. "Make sure nothing happens to those cookies!!!" She shouted "I still need to return them!!!"
"Sure, sure..." replied the spirit of chaos as he carelessly dropped the cookies on the floor. After he made sure Rainbow left he smirked saying, "Now I have to do my part for a certain other prank." With a snap of his claw he disappeared in a flash.
Unfortunately for Rainbow it was at that time a certain green blob decided to visit his chaotic friend. Once it opened the door it noticed the huge pile of cookies on the ground and licked its lips...
*few hours later*
"WHAT!!!!!"
Rainbow Dash couldn't believe it. After having been taught her lesson, she went to return the cookies from Discord she's stolen. Unfortunately the spirit of chaos had some bad news.
"Yup looks like Smoozy decided to visit and helped himself to a little snack," Discord replied nonchalantly filing his eagle claw with Gummy.
"Do you know how much all those cookies cost?!!"
After snapping Gummy back to Sugarcube Corner Discord looked at the angry pony. "No, not sure why I should care."
"I Don't have the money to pay for them that's why!!!"
"Not my problem. I wasn't the one who stole them."
Rainbow Dash quickly thought of a way to get out of this. "Uh.... WAIT!!! You can just use your magic to poof up another batch of cookies!!!"
Discord mockingly gasped "And rob you of a valuable lesson?" He pinched Rainbow's cheek. "What kind of friend would I be?"
Rainbow's jaw dropped. How could she have been so stupid to trust Discord with this? She was so caught up in her prank craze that she didn't even think about what would happened.
"Look at it this way Rainbow. This can just be a complimentary lesson to the lesson our friends taught you."
Something began to stir in Rainbow's mind at that. 'Wait how did he know about me being taught a lesson?' She than began wondering about the prank her friends pulled. '...WAIT!!! HOW DID THEY GET THEIR FUR GREY WITHOUT ANY MAKEUP!!!'
Rainbow glared at Discord yelling, "YOU KNEW ABOUT THEIR PRANK!!! Didn't you?!? You knew it even before I asked you to hold onto the cookies!"
She received a wicked smile. "Now Rainbow Dash, that would require Fluttershy telling me about your little prank on her, Pinkie asking for my help, and me wanting to join in to teach you a valuable lesson without telling you of her prank. Do you really think I would do that?"
Rainbow was glaring daggers at the spirit of chaos.
"Well looks like you have a lot to think about. Good luck with paying off the cookies!" Before he shut his door, Discord gave a smirk. "Oh, and the Smooze says thanks for the cookies."
With that Rainbow Dash started flying back home freaking out. "Ok, so I have no way of paying off those cookies. Maybe after that zombie prank they'll forgive me. After all every pony we went to paid for them with real bits so the filly scouts are still getting the money. Besides if my pony zombie movie plan goes well I should get more than enough to pay for the cookies."
*back to present time*
"...And well here we are."
Twilight face hoofed. "You trusted Discord."
"Hey I thought after our gaming sessions and being a fellow prankster he could be trusted!!!"
Session 31.12 BrutalityInc
It was game night, and normally it is a time for merriment with tabletop RPG games, free from the stress and pressures of real life. Yet right now, the Shadowbolts’ escapist fun is being interrupted by a table-thumping argument between the GM and one of the players.
“No! You can’t do that!” GM Sunny Flare shouted. “It’s against the rules!”
“Clearly, you haven’t read the manual thoroughly enough.” Sugarcoat insisted, her dull stoicism an immovable mountain in contrast to the storm that is Sunny Flare's current tantrum. “You are evidently wrong to assume just because –”
“I can assume that!” GM Sunny Flare exclaimed in frustration.
“Let’s review how we dealt with the elder werewolf, then.” Sugarcoat begin, and for emphasis, brought out and dropped with a ‘thump’ on the table a 30+ page pile of papers, titled “Operation Broken Fang”, which described in elaborate detail, with diagrams, extra sticky-notes and citations to the core rulebook and supplementary materials, their meticulous plan to destroy the elder werewolf.
“First, we lure the elder werewolf to a remote gas stop, by posting online on a Monster Hunters’ forum website our ‘plan’ to take it down there, knowing from our investigation that he was in fact a treacherous infiltrator inside the wider monster hunter compact, who would had read it and try to ambush us at the gas-stop.”
“Spare me the repetition! I saw what you girls did!” GM Sunny Flare seethed, “But how is that - ?!”
“It was a trap within a trap, obviously.” Sugarcoat deadpanned, “And the moment he crawled into the gas-station convenience store at midnight, we barred the doors behind him, retreated to a safe distance and detonated several hundred pounds of C-4 explosives we wired all-around said store and the gas-pumps.”
“I bet THAT must had been quite a boom to see!” Lemon Zest cheered. As if on cue, she played a soundbite on her phone, of someone with an accent shouting ‘Ka-BOOM!’ followed by the sound of an actual explosion.
“But it would not had been enough to - !” GM Sunny Flare protested.
“No, it clearly didn’t.” Sugarcoat said bluntly, “We returned to find the gas station a burning ruin, and so is the werewolf, who I accept was still very much alive, and utterly enraged. Thinking quickly, I climbed on board a truck nearby that improbably survived the explosion while the others distracted it with gunfire, then rammed said truck into the immolated werewolf and pinned it against a power utility pole.”
“Which electrocuted the poor thing for an hour even as it burned…” Lemon Zest said meekly. Then her face twisted with malicious glee as she growled, “Good thing my character love the smell of roasted ribs in the morning!”
“Okay, fine, but even then – !” GM Sunny Flare insisted, but was again interrupted.
“JUST in case that wasn’t enough, Sunny Flare, we did, as Lemon Zest pointed out, waited until the werewolf was nothing but charred skeleton, then carefully collected the remains and stuffed every last part of it in a medium-sized metal box.” Sugarcoat continued, “And for good measure, we welded the lid shut and placed at least three locks on the steel chains we wrapped around it.”
“But – but – !” GM Sunny Flare tried a final time to say something, but Sugarcoat kept talking as if she wasn’t there.
“And finally we deposited said box into a vat of molten metal in the nearest steel mill at noon, while nobody was looking.” Sugarcoat concluded. “Given the excessive levels of overkill we applied in this mission, there is simply no way for that elder werewolf to resurrect and –”
“OF COURSE IT STILL CAN!” GM Sunny Flare flat-out exploded, “Did you not read the rulebook?! It has. To be. A SILVER BULLET! Or a blade! Something none of you had!”
“The rulebook merely said that it is merely NIGH-invulnerable to damage by physical, ballistic or poisoned based weapons except those clad in silver, but it does not EXPLICITLY said that it is COMPLETELY-invulnerable to said damage.” Sugarcoat retorted calmly, even as she flipped through the book, “And in case you haven’t noticed, our method involved an explosion, fire from said explosion, a truck, a utility pole, a metal box and a vat of molten steel. Plus, on page 37 of the Monster Manual, paragraph 2 and 3, lines 5, 9 and 12 clearly states that an elder werewolf, while having greater resistance compare to normal werewolves, still retain their kind’s general vulnerability to fire and sunlight, the former of which we used to maximum advantage.”
“Does electricity count as fire?” Indigo Zapp asked curiously. “Well, it probably would set it MORE on fire, so I think…”
“I’m the GM, and what I say is always right!” GM Sunny Flare declared aloud, invoking the infamous ‘Rule Zero’, “And I say that you can’t kill the elder werewolf that way! And it’ll keep regenerate no matter how many times you put it down as long as you don’t have silver in your arsenal!”
“It defies all common sense.” Sugarcoat said, her own patience starting wear thin. “You are implying this monster could survive even a thermonuclear weapon as long as it is not killed within traditional parameters set in legend? That is preposterous, and you know it.”
“Will you two get it over with already?! We’re going to be here all night at this rate!” Sour Sweet grumbled.
“Can’t be helped when Sunny Flare remains so utterly intractable as a GM.” Sugarcoat defended calmly.
“Of course I am! You aren’t supposed to kill the elder werewolf this early!” GM Sunny Flare grumbled. “I’ll have to get that elder werewolf back SOMEHOW before you lot completely derailed my PERFECTLY planned campaign storyline!”
“Yeah, and to do that, next thing you’ll say the elder werewolf’s dark spiritual essence would now possess whatever vehicle the molten metal is used to make because we didn’t kill it properly with silver weapons. Or something like that.” Indigo Zapp noted sarcastically.
Sunny Flare’s eyes widened, then followed by her smile as she snatched the core rulebook away from Sugarcoat and flipped it to the right page, “Well, now that you mentioned it…”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Sugarcoat muttered.
Session 31.13 Ardashir
"Dangit Lemon Zest! Sunny Flare!" Sour Sweet and Indigo Zap dragged their once-human friends -- er, schoolmates -- by their newfound equine tails towards the mirror gate. Ponies themselves, they grunted the words out around the mouthfuls of hair they held between their jaws. "For the last time, we can't stay here in Magic Horseland! We have midterms back home!"
"Personally I say leave them here," the ponified Sugarcoat bluntly remarked as she watched from nearby. "They can get jobs pulling a cart or something. Given their grade averages they were probably headed for that anyway."
"NOOO!" Sunny Flare tried to both break free and hold on to the bucket full of precious gems she held in her forelegs. "I don't wanna go back! These bozo ponies throw away these gemstones like they were nothing! I wanna stay here and get rich and marry some prince so I can have plenty of servants to boss around!"
"I like it better here!" Lemon Zest yelled. "That skinny horned snake-dragon thingy told me I had the best sense of humor he'd ever seen in a pony! That I was the daughter he always wanted but never dreamed a sane universe would allow! And whenever we want to have fun we can go to that Never-Feed place next door and beat up monsters like we do online! No studies or tests or Principal Cinch here, we can just eat grass and sleep under the stars every night!"
"Besides," Sunny Flare said, "the transformation is, uh, altering our brains! Yeah, that's it! Pretty soon we'll hate humanity and want to change everyone, I mean, everypony else."
"That's not just a lie, it's a stupid lie." Sugarcoat shook her head.
Both the mares continued sobbing and fighting as they were dragged to the gate.
Nearby, Twilight Sparkle scowled at Rainbow Dash, as she tried and failed to look innocent.
"Okay," Dash finally said. "I will NEVER lead humans from that other world to Equestria again, no matter how funny I think it is. Pinkie Pie Promise."
Session 31.14 Ardashir
"So THERE!" Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a somewhat manic smile, one of her eyes twitching. She didn't notice Twilight's smug grin as she went on. "Despite me getting ponynapped by your pet axe murderer, and having a wing chopped off," she flapped both her wings victoriously, sending papers on the table fluttering, "AND having to be rescued by Rarity and Applejack's characters, we STILL killed that monster!" She looked at the map. "And no 'mysterious death' so he can jump us on the way out; we threw him into dragon fire and saw him end up ashes."
"And good riddance, too. What a brute!" Rarity looked down at her character sheet and sighed. "My poor PC will never be able to run in the Friendship Games now that she had only three legs."
"Did ya really have ta make it that nasty, Twi?" Applejack shook herself. "All three o' us are goin' home scarred from this. Er, in the game, Ah mean."
"It IS a horror game, girls," Twilight said as she checked out a list of pre-rolled d20 numbers she'd asked them to make, without explaining why. A wicked smile that would have impressed King Sombra began to go over her face. "This isn't fantasy or some other heroic genre where heroes slay monsters at every turn without loss; victory is supposed to be difficult and hard-won in horror." She looked up and smiled even more evilly. "When you have won, that is."
Three ponies felt their blood run cold.
"What d'ya mean?" Dash gulped as Twilight fluttered her eyes at her mock-seductively.
"Oh, just this," she pointed a hoof at her. "You didn't think about the part of the legend you were told where 'Through his prey's nightmares, Krastos the Gluemaker will live again'?" Twilight's horn glowed and she made an illusion, showing Dash's maimed character in a hospital bed at night. At the same time she used another spell taught her by Luna that made the interior of the room darken as a slow chill went along the spines of her three friends.
"The first night, you have a nightmare about Krastos chasing you again. It ends with him calling, 'Rainbow Dash, I'm in the street outside!' The same the second night, but it ends with Krastos saying," Twilight's voice became the scratchy croak of the 'real' Krastos, "'Rainbow Dash, I'm at the door!'"
"Did somepony hear that?" Applejack whispered as they heard what seemed like a scraping sound. The three began to huddle together.
"And the third night," Twilight said, almost vanishing in the deepening darkness, "'it ends with Krastos saying, 'Rainbow Dash, I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU!'"
A rough scaly hand fell on Dash's withers at that very moment.
With a scream Rainbow Dash shot skywards, leaving the table, her friends, and Spike with his tray of treats at ground zero of a Sonic Rainboom.
Session 31.15 BrutalityInc
"Since you had failed to catch Archduke Villainous Vile," Oubliette Overseer Princess Twilight declared, "He has escaped to the safety of his redoubt. Before you stand a massive, heavily fortified stronghold, with thick, towering walls strong enough to stop a charging dragon dead in its track, garrisoned by many thousands of pony-at-arms, knights and archers, protected by potent magical spells and enchantments maintained by a conclave of high level wizards and mages. It has its own farms and water supply, allowing it to easily withstand a siege for decades.”
“Nice going, Trixie! There’s no way in Tartarus we can possibly catch him now!” Rainbow Dash said disparagingly.
“It is not Trixie’s fault that we failed to catch him. The plan was foal-proof!” Trixie defended, turning her own ire and frustration on Rainbow Dash, “The fault lies in the execution, and Trixie would say that had you been so hot-headed - !”
“Well, what can we do?” Applejack interrupted before the argument could escalate, “Rainbow Dash is right, it’s the few of us against a massive fortress armed to the teeth.”
“You designed this to be an impossible challenge, did you, Twilight?” Fluttershy asked meekly.
Princess Twilight winced from Fluttershy’s look, but she held her ground. “Unfortunately, yes. This part of the campaign is designed with the intention of testing the players’ patience and endurance in the face of adversity. You CAN overcome this, but there’s little room for any clever tricks or cunning that would land you an easy victory. To defeat Archduke Vile, you must be ready to put all effort and pull all the stops in getting the resources and levels necessary to overcome his defences.”
“If Trixie didn’t know better, Trixie would think you are still mad and vindictive from the previous times we found ways to derail your campaign.” Trixie muttered.
“I am not!” Princess Twilight flatly denied.
“In any case, it’s still a nigh-impossible mission with our current levels. From the look of this, darlings, we’re going to need siege weapons, our own army, a dozen mages at the same calibre of Trixie’s character.” Rarity noted. “The question is, how are we going to procure such means? Our wallets are not exactly full as it is, and even then, where can we find it?”
"Can't we just request one from the king?" Applejack asked the sensible question.
Princess Twilight shook her head, "With the kingdom currently at war? All troops are currently engaged with the foreign enemy that the Archduke had been secretly aiding. As far as it is concerned, you're all on your own, with royal orders to stop the Archduke by any means possible before he does any more damage to the kingdom."
Trixie looked at the challenge presented before her thoughtfully, her mind whirling. Then, her eyes widened as a brainwave hit her.
“Trixie, why are you grinning?” Princess Twilight asked, feeling a twinge of worry.
“You presented a most interesting challenge, and Trixie takes it with gusto.” Trixie said as she took up a pen and paper and began to plot. “And Trixie has already conceived a solution, or rather three, that would grant us the sweetest victory yet!”
= = =
“We’re doing WHAT?!” Everypony in the adventuring group exclaimed at Trixie’s plans.
“We do what Trixie has said.” Trixie began, “We trek down to the lands which belonged to the Archduke, prior to his disgraceful expose as a bully and a traitor before the king by our hooves, and invited the many thousands of ponies from the villages and cities of his land who had been wronged by his tyranny to come over for a chance of vengeance against their former oppressor.”
“And… you want to use them as cannon fodder to attack the Duke’s stronghold?!” Fluttershy asked, going pale with horror.
“No, no! Nothing that ruthless.” Trixie assured, “We merely ask them to line up in a straight line, just outside the range of the stronghold’s ballista bolts and arrows, and use them as a free, improvised siege weapon to destroy the walls of the stronghold.”
“How does that work?!” Pinkie asked, “That sounds wacky even by my standards.”
“We are confused, Trixie. And you better assure us that it’s all within the rules.” Rarity demanded.
“You would recall, dear Rarity, that all characters in O&O, player and NPCs, are allowed ‘Free Actions’.” Trixie began her explanation, “Any action that takes so little to no effort, it occurs instantaneously. It includes talking, making gestures – or passing an object. And you can use however many free actions as you want.”
“So, we line up say around two thousand ponies in a straight line give a take two hundred, over three kilometres long, one end towards the stronghold’s walls, and the other end a pile of objects. Said objects in question would be 20 kilogram cannonballs.” Trixie continued
“So, what? Do they just pass the balls from the guy at the pile to the guy facing the wall, and the last guy would just throw it?” Rainbow Dash asked, “That’s not going to go anywhere but a meter at most!”
“In the real world, true, but you forget, we’re playing in an O&O world.” Trixie said, smiling deviously, “O&O worlds follow O&O rules, and if we go by such rules, in the first combat round, the pony at the end could ready a free action to throw, while the rest ready a free action to pass the cannonballs. Then the next round, they would complete their action, instantaneously, causing the cannonball to be passed over six kilometres and then thrown at the walls IN A SINGLE ROUND!”
“Each round lasts around 6 seconds. So assuming three kilometres long and all Free Actions are simultaneous…” Applejack used Apple math, and it was super effective, “Great horny toads, you just accelerated the cannonball at nearly 2000 kilometres per hour!”
“That’s over Mach 1!” Rainbow Dash shouted, jaws hanging in shock.
“That’s right!” Trixie confirmed dramatically, “And since each round last 6 seconds, readying and firing again would mean we have a fire rate of 12 seconds per shot. No amount of fortification could survive this sort of punishment; we’ll bring down those walls in less than half an hour, and for cheap!”
“But what about the garrison?” Rarity asked.
“Nothing the army of mercenaries we would bring along cannot handle…” Trixie assured.
“Again, the monster in the details; how are we going to get the money to hire them?” Rarity asked doubtfully.
“My 11 level sorceress can handle it; since for Applejack’s warrior’s sake Trixie’s sorceress had taken max levels at weaponsmithing, it’s just a simple matter of blowing 50 gp to cast the spell Wall of Iron, then use Fabricate spell to generate Masterwork Swords. Trixie ran the math by Twilight’s old academy friend Moondancer; assuming a masterwork sword is weighs about 1.6 kg, according to rulebook, and accounting for the Wall of Iron's mass and density from the size mentioned in the stats, I could generate upwards six to seven thousand masterwork swords. Then it’s a simple matter of teleporting to the Capital and selling the swords in the market there for literally MILLIONS of gps worth of cash in total!”
Rarity gaped at the sheer audacity of Trixie’s get-rich scheme, and then she fainted.
“Alright, alright, so we got the army and even the supplies handled, but what about the conclave of wizards and mages protecting the evil Archduke’s castle? Any bright ideas?” Applejack asked, wary of Trixie’s even more ludicrous rule-bending plans.
Trixie snickered as Fluttershy attempted to wake Rarity from her shock, “Do you know what one can do with just a level 9 Wish spell and level 7 Simulacrum spell? The simulacrum, made from ice, a strand of mane hair and 1500 gp of ruby dust, knows and can cast any spell as Trixie’s sorceress could, but doesn’t need to do so without any materials that Trixie’s sorceress needs to cast spells. Realizing this, it’s a simple matter for Trixie to use Wish to acquire the materials she needs, cast Simulacrum, then order said Simulacrum to use Wish to duplicate the effects of Simulacrum on Trixie herself, then ordering the next Simulacrum to do the same. Trixie plans to repeat the process until Trixie’s sorceress has a WHOLE BATTALION of herself, more than enough magical might then to defeat the Archduke’s conclave of wizards and mages and open the way for us to confront the Archduke himself!”
At this, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash finally couldn’t contain themselves, and rolled over laughing.
“Gotta hoof it to Trixie to come up with a plan like this!” Rainbow Dash admitted, wiping away mirthful tears, “Best part is, it’s all within the rules! Let’s see how Twilight’s going to flip out over this one!”
“It’s going to be one for the records!” Pinkie Pie cheered, “She’ll never see it coming!”
Of course, as a well-known Royal Guard saying goes, no plan survives contact with the enemy, as the adventuring party found out the next day…
Session 31.16 Kendell2
Back at the Mecha RPG, Eros had defeated her female pilot's ex, but naturally hadn't killed him while Dash and her mecha had successfully defeated her rival ace.
Trixie used Queen Majesty (who was decidedly their tank) had taken to handling the rank and file mecha.
To the shock of the Comet Kingdom's civilians, Super Guardina (still in her Hyper Mode) was PROTECTING them from the crossfire of the battle, leaving them questioning their views on the Equus denizens.
Applejack had gotten the smart idea and had Darn Tootin' (Twilight had finally got it) cause a collapse that blocked the hangers so they couldn't deploy any more soldiers.
However, when it seemed like the Comet Kingdom was losing and most of their army had been destroyed (with as few causalities as possible), their chief ace emerged in an unfinished but powerful mecha to be the final boss of the Comet Kingdom.
"Of course there'd be a final boss..." Rainbow Dash admitted.
What followed was a long hard battle ending with their mecha badly damaged, and the enemy mecha on it's last legs but still not completely destroyed.
"This boss is tougher than the last faction's final boss!" Rainbow Dash lamented. It looked like their health might not outlast the enemy's.
"Don't worry every pony! We've still got this!" said Pinkie Pie AND her pilot on the hologram. Joyful Heart's Hyper Mode had been activated on top of the upgrade it'd gotten, now having a cape made of energy streamers and golden bits, as well as a new chess piece. "Twilight, what if I use Joyful Heart's Super Fiesta Finish and EVERYPONY kicks the ball to each other to power it up?"
Twilight blinked. "That could work, but you'd ALL have to hit the attack roll. If it hits, it should be enough to one shot the monster, but if it fails, you could hurt your teammate."
The group decided to bank on it and rolled the dice...and managed to all win the attack roll (in some cases just barely).
"Alright, let's go everypony!"
The hologram depicted Joyful Heart forming a golden sphere in her hooves and throwing it into the air where Rainbow Dash's mecha kicked it to Applejack's and so on.
"Quick! We need a name to shout!" Rainbow yelled before the animation had finished.
One quick discussion later...
"HARMONY BREAKER!" the group decided on, their shout rivaling the Crusaders' typical shouts.
"...Bonus due to hotbloodedness..." Twilight said, having prepared earmuffs.
The Queen Majesty headbutted the now rainbow colored sphere down where Joyful Heart did a spin and soccer kicked it straight at the boss, who tried to use it's beams to counterattack but was overpowered and the resulting attack blew a hole straight through his mecha, carrying him back to Joyful Heart's hoof as their mecha collectively turned and allowed the final boss to explode dramatically, signally the end of the Comet Kingdom's assault on Equus.
Session 31.17 Zaku789
(My remembrance about D&D rules are hazy so please bare with me. Also guess the Blackadder reference.)
"So you wish to go to his lands eh?" Twilight asked curiously.
"Yep," Trixie said with a grin. There was no way Twilight can defeat this plan.
"Hmm... very well, you head out to the land that was once owned by Villainous Vile. It can best be described as a tuppenny- ha'penny place. Half an acre of sodden marshland with vast empty villages. Population: total would be 20 ponies, a dachshund named `Colin', and a small hen in its late forties."
".... WHAT!?!" Everyone shouted.
"What what?" Twilight asked innocently.
"Why is the population is freaking small!?" Trixie shouted.
"Well again marshland aren't exactly the best housing environment, plus most of the previous population as they prefer to start anew and avoid getting caught by Villainous Vile if he tried to regain his land."
"You can't make the population that small," Rainbow shouted.
"Why not? there no rule against it?" Twilight said. "Or did you honestly expect me not to factor in free action and your characters abilities."
Trixie forced a grin. "Will you excuse us for a moment."
"Sure." Twilight said as everyone left the room.
+
"So.... got any plan B?" Applejack asked.
"Give me a minute, I'm thinking," Trixie muttered.
Session 31.18 Zaku789
"Okay... after some consideration, I decided to shift some of the money for the mercenaries to also buy traditional siege weapons as well, it will weaken our forces a bit but we'll still be strong enough that it won't hurt my master sword plan," Trixie said.
"Uum, shouldn't we consider other options just in case she stops this or the wish spell plan?" Fluttershy asked.
"No way, those two plans are still awesome, and it was just dumb luck Twilight stopped the makeshift cannonball plan," Rainbow stated.
"But she did say she was factoring our character abilities as well as using free action," Fluttershy pointed out.
"Pfft, that just her trying to psyche us out," Rainbow Dash assured her friend as everyone decided to head back towards Twilight and played the game.
Session 31.19 Grogar-the-oneser (with an extra line by me)
So far, the sword plan was going well, they made the six to seven thousand masterwork swords, they teleported to the capitol and were going to sell the swords.... and that when things went south.
"Suddenly a guard walked into the shop, when he spotted all the swords, he then demanded that you hand them all over," Twilight said.
"What?!" Trixie shouted.
"There is a war going on, they need all the weapons they can get to help fight against the enemy," Twilight said.
"B-but we made these swords! The king can't do that!" Pinkie Pie stated.
"Normally no, they wouldn't blink if you just brought something like fifty swords, but bringing all the swords you created, which are in the thousands by the way, changes it from a sale in the guards' perspective to a generous donation." Twilight grinned.
+
"Gah! I didn't expect her to use the war to derail my plan!" Trixie roared as they were back to a group huddled.
"I can't believe Rainbow decided to punch the guard for and I quote 'acting like a greedy jerk'," Rarity said with an annoyed glare.
"He was being a greedy jerkface!" Rainbow snapped.
"Well thanks to you, not only did we lose the plan, we can't show our faces to the capital any time soon cause they're now looking for the group who attacked a guard!" Rarity snapped "Which makes it doubly troublesome since we could have easily revise with the information given us."
".... okay so maybe I didn't think my action completely through," Rainbow admitted.
Far away, In Tartarus, Tirek complained about his prison freezing over.
Session 31.20 Grogar-the-oneser
(Partly inspired SomeRandomMinion comment)
"Okay, she defeated my sword plan and my civilian plan, but there no way she can stop my simulacrum plan!"
"Hold on, but we have no weapons or siege tools!" Rarity said.
"Screw the weaponry, I'll use my wish magic to turn some of the simulacrums into giants, that way they can cause damage! Heck maybe they just lie on the castle and squash the bad guy, i know that will derail her game," Trixie stated.
"Plus with how many they are we don't need to hire an army," Rainbow Dash stated. "Heck we should have done that from the start! This plan is foolproof!"
"No offense, but considering Twilight's streak with this one, shouldn't we take Fluttershy's idea and make a back up?" Applejack asked.
"No way, this one has no character except us and the simulacrums, and they have to be obey Trixie, we got this!" Pinkie cheered.
+
"Seeing the army of simulacrum of various sizes, Villainous Vile urges his mages to cast a wind spell." Twilight said.
"Urr... you're not going to use explosive fireballs or something like that?" Trixie questioned.
"Nope, just a wind spell."
"See we totally have her now!" Rainbow said with her and Pinkie laughing. Trixie narrow her eyes however, she thought this was WAY too easy.
"The various mages were successful as the combine wind created by his vast mage forces form a giant tornado that sucked both your party and your constructs, you party barely survives when the storm over but it destroys your simulacrum army."
"... WHAT!?!?" Everypony but Trixie shouted.
"Haha!" Twilight grinned, for once everything was going her way as Game Master. "Looks like the Game Master outsmarted you this time, no derailing my game this time!"
"It's not over."
"Beg pardon?" Twilight said confused as she looked at Trixie.
"I said, this isn't over." Trixie said as she look at twilight with a grin. "You may have won the battle this time, but the war has just begun!! Though I must say it's about time you provided a decent challenge to the Great and Powerful Trixie off-game strategies."
-
"And lo legend still tell of a grand RPG between the Game Master Twilight and the player Trixie that inspired future generation to this day and make those who were present quake to this day," Starlight said as she watch the game from the other room while eating a bag of popcorn.
"... Who are you talking too?" Spike questioned.
"To my future Alicorn self. I'm sure she'll enjoy the narrative."
"... Right. Never mind."
Session 31.21 Mtangalion
"Seriously?" asked Rainbow Dash. "You're doing the clone army thing again?"
"Why not?" declared Trixie. "It's a perfectly good plan. Only dimwitted cartoon villains immediately abandon a mostly-successful scheme, when they could simply correct the one or two things that went wrong the first time."
Rarity frowned. "Pardon me, but doesn't the Archduke now know to expect this plan?"
"Not ta mention Twilight," said Applejack. "She's looking mighty smug over there."
Trixie ground her teeth. "As Oubliette Overseer, *Twilight* is bound to obey the rules! If I can logically address every one of her objections, then victory will be mine!"
Pinkie twiddled her hooves. "Yeahhhhhhh... my character goes back to town and gets a quick job from the adventurer's guild."
"I go with her," said Rainbow at once.
Fluttershy raised a hoof. "I'll..." Trixie glared at her. "... stay here and cheer Trixie on! Yay."
Trixie cleared her throat. "Now then! My wizard conjures several more iron walls, then uses the fabrication spell to begin crafting Ironbound Elemental Protection Charms! Also, Charms of Scrying Obfuscation! Once I have enough charms to cover my entire operation, I restart the Simulacrum production line!"
Twilight sat behind her Overseer screen, seeming deep in thought. "The Simulacra that you're making... I suppose you have them manufacturing charms as well?"
"Of course," said Trixie. "I can only cast those spells so many times in a day, and they're perfectly capable. What of it?"
Twilight grinned. "All right, then. Roll for a Sanity check."
Trixie blinked. "Are you saying... that Trixie must be crazy to be undertaking this plan? If pathetic attempts at humor are all that you can muster..."
"I'm quite serious," said Twilight. "Conjuration spells are classified as Dark magic. You know that, right?"
Trixie stared at her.
Twilight took a deep breath. "You *did* study the whole spell compendium, surely? You didn't just skim the spell descriptions for the ones with the most flash and explosions?"
Trixie twitched. "I... ah..."
"Of course, those spells are *mostly* safe." Twilight chuckled. "I mean, otherwise they wouldn't be in standard spell tomes, but you *have* been casting a lot of them lately."
"You're just making that up!" snapped Trixie. "Yes, that's it! You put that in the rule book just to thwart Trixie! Why would Conjuration spells be Dark magic?"
Twilight blinked. "Why wouldn't they be? They are in real life. The high level Manifestation spells are actually banned by royal edict, because they're too dangerous for anypony to use, as amply demonstrated by King Sombra... and certain other unicorns we know."
Rarity sighed. "You must admit, darling, it was glorious while it lasted, even if now I wish I could forget the whole retched episode."
Pinkie Pie blew a kiss to the fourth wall and waved her hoof cheerfully.
Trixie twitched some more. "Fine!" She rolled the dice and got a nineteen. "There, you see? There's no issue, and no need for Trixie to cast any more of those just a teensy bit dangerous spells."
"Ah, but there's more," said Twilight. "Your Simulacra have also been casting those spells. They're essentially you with half as many hit points, and less practical experience, so they'll have a penalty to their saving throws. If I figure the odds and assume that you've made one hundred clones so far... then three of them are seduced by Dark magic and turn evil." She started rolling some dice behind her screen ominously.
Trixie paled. "I find those clones quickly and..."
"One of them just attacked you, planning on stealing your magic for herself. Let's see... oh my. Number two just trotted off into the countryside, planning on blowing things up and telling everypony that you're responsible. And, the third joins forces with the Archduke and tells him everything you've been up to."
AJ smirked. "Ah should have just sat on the dang castle again."
Stats
Page generated in 0.062 seconds
Total duration
711 users online
867,958 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I'd need some context first.
You're losing. Oviously you're not.
She's right, the Death Star 2's superlaser was not only stronger, but could recharge faster and could be fired at a lower magnitude to oneshot cruisers instead of planets.
Uh oh.
*eye twitch*
Times change and so did she.
BAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
Twilight, Twilight, take a deep breath, contain, the calamity, that is your mammaries.
You glorious little..
You realize being untrustworthy is his whole SHTICK, right? That and screwing you over if he thinks it's funny.
I understood that reference.
I'm with her.
You got Old Man Hendersoned.
No...
There goes his hearing for a while.
Bull.
It's The Earth.
Future Alicorn self. Starlight, there's ambitious, and then there's insane.
7493699
Don't care.
7493699
"Future Alicorn self. Starlight, there's ambitious, and then there's insane."
We did SEE her future Alicorns self in a flash forward remember?
7493721
Would I have said that if I remembered?
Hahaha, ah, I do so love it when we see Twilight's genius actually used. No plan not already outwitted even before the opponent has considered it. Nicely done.
Was reminded of a RPG quote/reference, "When the GM smiles, it's already to late."
7494812
Indeed.
Don't give Trixie (or Twilight!) any ideas, AJ!
7495507
Heh.
7495801 Now I'm wondering what Trixie would try and pull off in "March of the Giants"...
OK, caught up with a few other stories, time to start another, and this one looks good.
7503598
I promise you gotta smile at one of these!
7509124 Unfortunately, it doesn't exist, but it IS one of those 'I wish it was real' things, huh?
is this a reference to a thing? cause i want it now.
This needs to be a fanart
7636230 ''Happy that's funny.
31.15 Trixie you audacious genius! There's no way she could see this coming!
Pinkie, I already said...
...
We just jinxed it, didn't we?
Still, to close a loophole THAT big would take a monumental amount of planning...
Or that, that works...
8278266
THANK YOU for the comment!
7493699
the roots of X squared plus four probably provides its own context. (x2 + 4) = (x+2)(x-2)
I know it's canon that Twilight held a grudge against Trixie...even though she didn't hold Glimmer to a similar grudge despite Glimmer doing far more material damage. It seems like she's dialing that grudge up to eleven with that O&O game, though. Almost seems like they should ditch Twilight's games and let Spike DM until Twilight learns that the DM's job isn't to punish the party.
9318172
Can you tell me which session you're referring to?
4i