Life for Quicknote has always been the same for years, but everything changes one day on his way to work. Life for some is filled with magic and friendship, but for others it's just the same boring thing day in and day out. And the only way it changes is on a rainy day.
For a story about being murdered, that was pretty dull.
You kept switching from past tense to present tense, and I agree with IAmApe. It's a good concept, and the writings decent enough, but there was more you could've done with this idea.