When Mega Man beamed back into Dr. Light's lab, he was a bit scorched, breathing heavily, and running low on energy. "Please tell me the other Robot Masters aren't this hard," he gasped out as he collapsed against the wall.
Working quickly, Dr. Light laid Mega Man out on a recharge table as he began emergency repairs. "They shouldn't be," he commented. "In fact, some of them haven't even bothered to deploy minion robots. One of them isn't even bothering to control any Mettools."
"I'll take that one next," Mega Man replied, groaning. "Either the...Wub Master...will be exceptionally difficult, or just over confident. Either way, I won't have to deal with escaping another fortress before it explodes."
"Speaking of, Mega Man..." Dr. Light began hesitantly. "How come you didn't use the Skull Blast to blow a hole through the masonry to leap out? Only the windows were sealed."
Mega Man stared at Dr. Light for a time. Standing up from the recharge table, he walked over to the nearest wall and began lightly banging his head against it.
Unperturbed, Dr. Light continued the repair work.
Once Mega Man was fully repaired and recharged, he moved to the teleporter. "So, Dad, where's this...Wub Master?" he asked, still not liking the term. It just felt so...childish. Which, unfortunately, kept reminding him that, come the end of this adventure, he would have to fight Vinyl. He knew to lock her up, they'd have to find a way to block off her magic. Without it...she would not do well in juvey.
"About that..." Dr. Light began hesitantly. "There...may be some difficulty getting you into his...lair."
"What?" Mega Man asked in confusion. "Why?"
"Well...you might be...carded," Dr. Light explained nervously, blushing. "And...you aren't of age."
"...what are you talking about?" Mega Man demanded, now more frustrated than confused.
"Well, you see...this...Wub Master is..." Dr. Light scratched the back of his head. "...performing in a strip club to a captive audience."
Mega Man stared at Dr. Light in disbelief. When he realized finally that no, he wasn't kidding, he let out a loud groan. "Did Vinyl design these guys just to mess with me?" he demanded in disbelief.
"That's about right," Vinyl explained to her father. "I wanted to make sure Mega Man had difficulty with fighting my robots, and there's only so much that can be done with difficult lead ups. I wanted to make a lasting impression, so he knows what's coming to him if he ever locks you up again."
Albert stared at the data presented about the various Wub Masters, shuddering a bit. "But...where did you get such...disturbing ideas?"
"The internet."
Several silent blinks was the response she received to that statement. "What?"
"I went to a game development chat room and asked for suggestions on enemy designs specific to creep out a goody-two-shoes hero character," Vinyl explained. "After I had a whole bunch of submissions, I went to a different chat room and held a poll, letting everyone vote eight times. I then used the top eight."
Sitting back, Wily chuckled for a time, the chuckle eventually turning into a full blown evil laugh. "That's my girl!" he shouted out happily, scooping Vinyl into a hug as he ran his hand through her mane.
Vinyl giggled happily as she snuggled into the embrace. "After that, it was just some creative obstacles."
"But how does Giganto fit into that scheme?" Wily asked, curious.
"The Master Weapon," Vinyl replied. "It comes with...warning labels."
Dr. Wily thought about that for a few moments...and then burst into peal upon peal of out of control laughter.
"It's not funny!" Mega Man snapped at the laughing bouncer. "There's an evil robot in there I need to take down!"
"You aren't getting in if you aren't of age," the bouncer countered back, still laughing. "Gotta say, though, that's the best fake out I've heard in years."
"I don't have time for this," Mega Man growled out. "You realize people are being held hostage in there, right?"
"I haven't heard any complaints," the bouncer replied gruffly.
Mega Man groaned. "If I could teleport into buildings, I wouldn't have to deal with you," he grumbled.
"And you call yourself Mega Man," the bouncer countered with a laugh. "You expect me to believe the Blue Bomber would be stopped by ordinary wood and stone? Don't make me laugh."
Mega Man thought for a time. "...you're right. I'm thinking too much inside the box." Turning he walked away.
The bouncer chuckled as he leaned back against the door. "Have fun with-"
The roar of a motorcycle's engine cut the air as Mega Man - on Rush Cycle - took a leap off a short ramp and through the wall of the building, a loud crash as he smashed through.
"...I'm not getting paid enough for this," the bouncer grumbled.
As Mega Man went crashing through the wall, he aimed Rush to land on the long stage where the performances were supposed to take place. He could see several other performers - he couldn't tell at first glance if they were robot or human, with how much modification both had undergone - diving out of the way as he came in for landing. As he ground to a halt, only one person remained on the stage...a tall, muscular humanoid robot that looked like he'd been designed as a cross between Adonis and Favio, dressed in a tuxedo.
"Well now, Mega Man, I didn't expect you to come after me so soon," he stated playfully. "Bit of an eager beaver, aren't you?"
Groaning, Mega Man got off of Rush. "One of the Wub Masters, I presume?" he asked, starting to charge his buster.
"Correct!" the robot proclaimed. "I am VWM-008. I am...Da Bomb!" With that, he tore the tuxedo off and proceeded to dance, much to the excitement of the women in the audience. "Shall we see how you are in the arts of...erotic dance?"
Mega Man stared at him in disbelief. "...I'm 12, same age as your maker," he pointed out bluntly.
Da Bomb stared at him for a time. "...I see. Then we shall simply have to battle it out!" Thrusting his hips forward, a white laser launched out, splashing Mega Man up against the wall.
Mega Man stared at the white, sticky stuff keeping him pinned to the wall. "...please tell me this is mayonnaise," he pleaded.
"Of sorts," Da Bomb replied, winking.
"...yeah, no." Pointing his buster, he opened fire. The Skull Blast destroyed Da Bomb's crotch, causing a feed back loop in his firing mechanism that made him explode. "Not using this weapon, nope nope nope..." Slowly, he began to peel himself off the wall. "I need to get cleaned up-"
"Since you're still at near full energy," Dr. Light began over the comms, "there's another Wub Master in your area. Want to take him out too before you come back?"
Mega Man didn't speak for a while.
HAhahahahahaha
SEMEN BEAMEN
...An explosion of passion.
very very funny I approve
Vinyl, you EVIL pony.
I feel slightly cheated by the Skull Blaster. On the one hand, it lets Mega Man keep moving forward at a good clip, so I get to see more cool Wub Masters. On the other hand, however, it renders most fights down to a single exchange and really cheapens the idea that Mega Man is even challenged by the Masters. Like, if the spike pits and timed jumping puzzles give Mega Man more grief than the Masters, why bother?
peel
That... was both disturbing and hilarious.
SO much for learning about the birds and the bees the normal way...
...you're getting more enjoyment out of this than you should aren't you?
Not gonna lie- after skull man I was expecting this guy to be a Mettaton based master. (With legs like THESE who needs busters?)
6773009
To be perfectly honest, I got more challenge from the stages than the bosses in the original games, too. So...it's actually staying true to source material in that regard.
6773053
I mean, I guess. S'just kinda dull to have the fight scenes so short. Hope Sans takes it back for the next round of robot Masters at least.
You know, it just occurred to me - if the Skull Blast is really that powerful, why wouldn't Mega Man be using it literally all the time to clear obstacles like spike pits? Or, more presently, walls?
6773057
"Da Bomb" was meant to be a joke boss, meant more to weird Mega Man out - both with fight and weapon - then give him an actual challenge.
Also, the Skull Blast isn't that powerful. The Wub Masters so far have just been designed to be that weak.
6773066
Recoil. Every time he fires the Skull Blast, he goes flying back a huge distance. He's yet to learn to brace himself for it.
6773046
Yes, Yes we are....
Anyways, This is great, not only are we getting a lot of jokes and Cameos, we get to feel justified at laughing at someone else's pain, as Megaman does deserve this...
6772998
Ye-NO! BAD IDEA!
Poor Megaman, and this time he is not going to have woodman chips to relax. Unless... Nah, it could be too much if Vinyl send a couple of "Woodman chips" but instead of relaxing they make him more nervous.
6773076
Maybe he can use the recoil to help him? It could be of use in a bottomless pit, Use it pointing to the other direction so that the recoil throw him and he can cross it,
P.S: And he call himself a hero? That is breaking in a private stablishment, destroying of property, and a couple of laws more... They have to put both him and his creator in jail.
6773076
Fair enough. I'd imagine that it would be better to get smacked into a wall a bit rather than risk being impaled on spikes, though.
Perhaps this Mega Man isn't that creative, though - the escape from the self-destructing tower somewhat implies as much.
6773129
Remember, "Melody of the Future" has established that no Light bot ever learned to shoot in any direction other than straight forward.
That weapon...it is gloriously awful. Mind, now Vinyl has admitted her culpability and understanding of what she's done. So at least Wily won't be alone in his cell anymore. Of course, she might get shunted to a Juvie Prison if it comes down to it. Mega Man had better get a nice month vacation somewhere robotic, like Detroit or something after this.
*eye twitches before slapping a hoof over my eyes and silently walked away from the chaos*
Other than that, nice chapter...
6773076
Okay, cool. My quibbles aside, I'm loving this so far, please keep it up boss!
She's ALREADY 12?
...
....
..... I feel so.... unclean. This is Mega Man. You know, "The Blue Bomber", "The Super Fighting Robot", "Jump-'N-Shoot Man"? So tell me something...
WHY IN THE SEVEN HELLS IS HE FIGHTING A STRIPPER WITH VOLATILE SPLOOGE?!!? What is this, General Custer from AVGN Adventures?!?!!?!?
Regardless, this was a pretty awesome chapter, and I can't wait to see more!
This chapter.
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/bb/59/45/bb59454f06e555b7cb315c9080c7eb1e.jpg
Is it weird that I first thought of Mettaton when Da Bomb was mentioned? I even listened to Death by Glamour in anticipation
Oh well, this was a funny chapter with its small raunchy humor.
6773131
That is... a very good point. Light's bots really are somewhat dull, when you put it that way.
My wife and mother-in-law are wondering what the hell is wrong with me as I am wheezing with laughter. Oh dear Luna that was hilarious.
The only problem I have is that i read this at work.
..... boss still doesn't know why i was laughing so hard.
Pelvic Sorcery!!!!! Pelvic sorcery!!!!! So much of it. My brother is giving me a strange look because I am laughing out loud.
Da Bomb just pulled a Destroyman.
HA to the 1000th power.
Pretty sure Mega Man wants to just go into the bath tub and scrub himself until he peels off his blue coating.
6773253 just show him the story. Mine just said "nope!" and quickly found something important to do.
6773394 my boss is kinda on the older side of life. I don't want to see him go out from a laughter induced heart attack..... he'd get one final kick out of it, though....
Hahaha, no.
Bad Vinyl!!! Here have three cookies.
6773404 he might say "This humor is weird and I don't get the references. Get back to work! You have things to do!". If you don't have things to do, you can point that out. Though... When there is stuff to do, boss will find what to give you.
6773486 was on break when i read this, now he's gone fer the day.
That happened. ...
Merry Christmas.
I can't have been the only one to picture a Stripper version of Mettaton from Da Bomb's description. No? Really? ... I need to rethink my life.
Laughs. To. Hard. Can't. Breathhhh.
*Looks at chapter* NOOOOOPPE!!!
cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/60179601.jpg
6773615 it really does not help if you are taking a break from trying to beat him
... I don't know whether to applaud a Mettaton getting some before being scrapped, or be traumatized by that weapon being made by a twelve year old.
Drear god, Vinyl just weaponized the internet. Mega Man is going to need some serious therapy after this one.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
6773835 Does this mean there's going to be a meme one?
That first paragraph, was gold. I mean midas getting envy kinda gold. And then I get to the next... and I lose it laughing, bravo, just bravo.