• Published 10th Aug 2015
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Wily's Wittle Wub - Tatsurou



Dr. Albert Wily wakes up one morning with an infant Vinyl Scratch clinging to his bald head. There goes the neighborhood.

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7: Maniac

(Music plays)(Loop suggested)

As new music once again filled Mega Man's world, he braced himself for however the world around him would change this time. He'd been through dark cities, over the rainbow, inside an Escher print, through snowy fields, and rolling hills filled with Pokemon of all things. He was pretty sure he was ready for anything.

He was mistaken.

Before his very eyes, the reality of the world around him seemed to slip away, resulting in a more...the only way he could think to describe it was 'cartoonish'...appearance. Everything looked like it had been drawn to suggest a feature, rather than a drawing of an actual feature. In the distance, he could see various creatures that certainly weren't real cavorting in an orgy of cartoonish violence. He shook his head as he could have sworn he caught sight of, amongst other things, a rabbit and a duck arguing with a hunter over who was supposed to get shot, a psychiatrist running from what looked like tiny beagle people, and an exploding school.

"What the censored?" he demanded, only to pull back in surprise when his curse word was censored. "Seriously, Vinyl? After the Wub Masters, we're censoring swear words?"

"What'sa matter?" a high pitched voice called out. "Not...wacky enough?"

Spinning, Mega Man caught sight of an exceptionally cartoonish looking motorcycle revving over a hill, holding air for an unreasonably long period of time. So unreasonably long, in fact, that the robot atop the cycle pulled out a comb to fix his non-existent hair before it finally landed on the road. The motorcycle was two wheels, a seat, an incongruously large engine, and a miniature fire breathing dragon on the front with the hiccups...and nothing visibly connecting the various parts to explain how it was able to run.

Unlike the cartoonish nature of everything around him, the Robot himself was oddly realistic. Spring Man's body was now far more robust and squat, with heavy gauntlets at the end of each of his spring arms and heavy greaves at the end of his spring legs. Diodes and blinking lights covered the pink armored portions of his body, and his spring-shaped head was now surmounted by a pair of glowing green eyes, which seemed to be made of flames.

"Try me on for size then, ehe! Ehe! Ehe!" With a very disconcerting laugh, Spring Man launched out one gauntlet on the spring arm, attempting to grab hold of Mega Man with the clawed digits at the end. Mega Man barely managed to duck, only to be forced to leap off Rush as the arm came back dragging a large boulder, only to smash it against another hill.

As Mega Man landed back on Rush's back, he swerved away along the road to get some distance. Turning, he opened fire on Spring Man, only to growl in frustration as the Robot Master twisted and contorted in cartoonish fashion so each and every shot sailed past him harmlessly. He could tell that he wasn't going to be able to take Spring Man down easily.

He turned back to focus on the road and gather his thoughts, trying to plan a way to take Spring Man down. Logic told him that Slash Claw would be his weakness, but in all likelihood he wouldn't be able to actually hit Spring Man with a Melee weapon like that unless he got him to stop moving. It was time to try some of his other weapons.

Turning back, he saw Spring Man had vanished. Acting on instinct, he ducked just before the 'surprise' attack from directly ahead would have taken his head off. "Look who's savvy! Ehe, ehe, ehe!"

Growling, Mega Man switched through his weapons. He's made of metal, so maybe... Switching to Thunder Coil, he turned and fired.

Spring Man giggled as the lightning passed harmlessly along his metal body, from one arm to the other. "Ooh...tingly!"

Gritting his teeth, Mega Man tried Danger Wrap, thinking he could either trap Spring Man or at least rust him. Unfortunately, Spring Man simply smacked the bomb in the bubble away, getting only harmlessly wet. "Beee!" Spring Man proclaimed, sticking a tongue out that Mega Man chose not to think on the origin point of, considering he lacked a mouth.

With how sharp Spring Man's claws were and how easily he could dodge around, he knew he didn't dare close enough to try Junk Shield, so all that was left was Freeze Cracker. The problem was hitting him enough to do enough damage. Mega Man leaned back on Rush as Spring Man once more tried to grab him, water drops flicking off the spring arm as it passed him by...

Before Mega Man had fully thought his way through the plan, he'd switched to Freeze Cracker and grabbed the extended arm, releasing the weapon through his hands rather than his buster. As the metal froze, he switched to Slash Claw, splitting the spring down the middle and leaving the gauntlet to tumble on the road and explode.

"Owie!" Spring Man complained as the stub arm retracted. "That hurt!"

Quickly, Mega Man pulled just ahead of Spring Man and released his full load of Danger Wrap, releasing only the bubbles without the bombs. Unable to dodge in time with only one arm, Spring Man was quickly soaked. Pulling back alongside, Mega Man aimed his next Freeze Cracker shot...at Spring Man's cycle.

As he'd planned, the initial impact froze the cycle, and the splitting ice shards froze Spring Man. "S-s-s-so c-c-c-c-c-cold-dd-d-d!" he stammered out.

Lunging in, Mega Man switched to Slash Claw. Adopting Slash Man's attack style, he began an unrelenting assault, rapidly depleting his weapon energy as he tore Spring Man apart. Kicking off a hill as it turned back to normal, he landed back on Rush's back as Spring Man's head landed on his own like a helmet, absorbing into him as he acquired the weapon program.

"That was fucking crazy..." Mega Man grumbled, pleased to find he could swear uncensored again as the music changed back to his own for the moment.

Author's Note:

There's an Animaniacs Power Metal remix...

But not a Tiny Toons one...

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