• Published 10th Aug 2015
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Wily's Wittle Wub - Tatsurou



Dr. Albert Wily wakes up one morning with an infant Vinyl Scratch clinging to his bald head. There goes the neighborhood.

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"Wily, There's a unicorn on your head"

Dr. Wily woke up and stretched. He told himself under his breath that he shouldn't have drunk so much last night to celebrate the completion of the last Robot Master with Doctor Light. With the completion of DLN-008 Elec Man, the commission from the government was finally complete. All that was left now was the few months of testing to determine if they were viable to use in the world at large and wouldn't go into a programming error induced destructive rampage.

Wily couldn't help but chuckle at that thought, given his plans. As he pulled his lab coat back on over the clothes he never actually removed last night - maybe he and Tom had celebrated just a bit too much last night, as DLN-001 Rock and DLN-002 Roll had kept insisting - he noticed his head felt heavier than normal. "Probably just the hangover," he muttered to himself as he made his way to the lab from his apartment.


Upon reaching the lab, Wily's mood had turned sour. As he'd walked through the streets, he'd tried to be friendly, waving at people, but they'd laughed at him and pointed. He knew he looked a little rumpled, but really...

Maybe I should reconsider my plans, he thought to himself with a grumble. Maybe robot supremacy would improve the world more than robot-human equality... Shaking his head, he rubbed his forehead, wondering why his head still felt so heavy. "Tom!" he called out. "Are you in yet?"

"Just getting the testing programs started," Dr. Light called back. "Be right there, Al!" After a bit, the chubby, good natured scientist shuffled out, his wide grin nearly hidden by his thick white beard. (Al privately wondered whether or not he enjoyed being mistaken for Santa Claus every winter.) His smile faded as he looked at Albert. Before Wily could get angry, however, Tom spoke up. "Albert...why do you have a unicorn clinging to your head?"

Albert froze. "Tom, that is the third strangest thing you have ever asked me," he pointed out. "What is it supposed to mean?"

Wordlessly, Dr. Light pointed at a nearby mirror.

As Albert turned to face his reflection, he goggled. Clinging to his bald head between the sideburns that shot off to either side was a pure white unicorn the size of a kitten. Its mane and tail were dark blue and pale blue in alternating stripes, it had magenta eyes barely visible behind way oversized purple shades, a branding of linked eighth notes, and a huge grin. "What the-where did that come from?" Reaching up, he tried to pry the creature off his head. It only giggled as it clung all the tighter to his bald scalp.

"I was hoping you could tell me," Light replied. "You really have no idea where it came from?"

"If I...knew..." Wily growled, "...I wouldn't...have asked!" With one last grunt, the tiny unicorn went flying off his head.

"Whee!" she cried happily, her voice confirming both her gender and the fact she could make far more than just horse noises. She flew through the air, and landed on the phonograph, riding it as it spun her right round.

"Get off of there!" Light shouted out. "You'll scratch the vinyl!"

The tiny filly leapt off with a happy gasp.

"What's she so happy about?" Light asked. "Why does a scratch on the vinyl make her happy?"

Wily had noticed that the filly gasped happily at two specific words Light had said. "Scratch?" he asked carefully.

The filly grinned up at him.

"Vinyl?" he asked again.

The filly's grin widened.

"I think you've hit on her name," Albert pointed out. "Goodness, she knows her own name when she's so tiny..."

"What kind of name is Scratch Vinyl?" Light asked in confusion.

The filly turned and blew him a raspberry.

"I think her name is Vinyl Scratch," Wily corrected.

Gasping happily, Vinyl leapt forward and clung to Wily's arm just above his wrist, all four legs wrapping around his arm tightly as she gazed up at him adoringly.

Wily reacted appropriately...for him.

"GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!" he shouted at the top of his lungs as he ran around, waving his arm crazily.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEE!" Vinyl responded eagerly.

After a time, the pony went flying again, only to bounce off Dr. Light's belly and land on a nearby couch. "Agay!" she shouted eagerly.

"Did...did she just say again?" Light asked, rubbing his belly from the impact.

"Sure sounds that way," Wily replied, grumbling.

"What a fascinating creature," Light murmured, leaning down to study her.

Vinyl's stomach made a gurgling noise, and she let loose with a shrieking wail that pierced the eardrums and shattered glass.

"What is that ungodly noise?" Wily demanded as he covered his ears. And how can I weaponize it? he wondered silently.

"I think she's hungry!" Light shouted back, covering his own ears. "Roll! Bring a milk bottle for an infant!"

"Coming Doctor!" Roll called back. There was a loud crash from the kitchen. "Sorry Doctor!" Roll shouted out. "The intense sonic waves appear to be throwing off my internal gyroscopic stabilizer! I'll be there soon!"

Curiouser and curiouser, Wily thought as he began to examine Vinyl discreetly from his current position.

After a time, Roll rushed out with a milk bottle. "I'm here, Doctor!" She gasped as she caught sight of Vinyl. "Oh, she's adorable! Are you hungry?" She leaned over with the bottle, holding it out towards the pony.

Vinyl stopped whining, glowered up at Roll, and promptly punched her on the knee, breaking that leg in half. Vinyl's horn lit up blue, catching the bottle in an aura of the same color as it fell.

"Dr. Light, I appear to have suffered some serious structural damage," Roll pointed out calmly. "Also, the sonic waves appear to have damaged the pain synapses in my circuitry. At least, I assume having the lower half of my leg broken off is supposed to be painful, yes?"

"I'll fix you right up, Roll," Dr. Light hastened to reassure her.

In the meantime, Vinyl had hopped off the sofa and had crawled over to Wily, looking up at him adoringly and holding up the bottle towards him.

Wily, for his part, took a look at the devastation to the lab she had wrought, and a slow smile spread across his face. Scooping the pony into his arms, he caught the bottle and held the nipple to her lips. "Well aren't you the interesting creature," he murmured wickedly. "I think I'll be keeping a close eye on you."

Vinyl merely giggled and began to drink up.

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