This story is a sequel to Shattered Harmony Prologue
The world of Equestria hangs on the edge of a razor. Stories tell of an ancient foe returning, destroying everything in his path. He came here once, but was driven off. Now he seeks the world he failed to annihilate. But in order for the Elements of Harmony to stand against him they'll need to come to a greater understanding of the Elements they hold and how they work together.
To do this, they'll need to accept help from an entire Empire, an Empire that they once thought was banished to the Badlands forever, an Empire they never thought they'd see again.
An Empire of Changelings.
Author's note: I only ask one thing. If you read this, even just the description, and downvote this, tell me why. Otherwise, I'm just going to ignore your downvote. Basically, read and review. And while I do have the entire story written out, that doesn't mean I can't change things. Thanks!
I WANT TO UPVOTE
6862092 So why don't you?
6862190 But if you look at the shadows for AB, SB, and Scoot they do look a little like AJ, Rarity, and RD respectively. That's what I'm going for.
6862154 It won't let me for some reason
That's it *Rises and heads off down hallways* I'm sending in everything Dimtec has so that at least ONE version of this story turns out fine
Lolz
6862242 One version? I can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing.
6862249 *pokes head in from window* Ever heard of Multiverse Theory?
6862270 Once or twice. *wink* This version isn't too familiar with it, though I might have met another that was...
*Slams hoof on table in sure manner* That's it He's a sentient Omnipotent GOD
Fyi I am making these as I read the chapter so please don't be harsh
6862396 This is actually set several years after the show, particularly fourth season. Fifth season didn't happen, that's why the CMC don't have their cutie marks. Hence the AU tag.
6862274 *smile wickedly* good you'll fit in great
DAG NAB IT DISCORD Why you so Awesome XD
6862459 Because he's personally my favorite villain, next to Chrysalis.
6862605
The United Mustaches Thru Dimensions must agree
Name of Story: Shatter Harmony Part 1 - The Call
Grammar score out of 10 (1 is grammar that needs to be worked upon as basic principles such as capitalization and spelling is an issue, and 10 is impeccable): 9
Pros (list three pros)
-I liked your style with describing.
-Your pacing is at a nice flow
Cons (list three cons)
-You writing of Applejack and Appleboom way of talking seem only sometimes to be on point. Though I really can't complain too much, sense I barely use them in my stories
-The Ponyville citizens are way too trust worthy in this story. Which if it was just the citizens then it would be fine, but with neither the CMC, or most of the Main six giving little worry to a giant teleport. That seems a little too trust worthy.
Notes Section: Really there is nothing else to say, other then the trusting could have easily been handled better. Like if it was Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash that saw the portal it would be fine. But considering you chose two of the most level headed ones to see the portal and give very little reaction to it, that certainly makes them seem a little out of character. I really didn't mind seeing the CMC as older, though you wrote them more like they were still extremely young.
Over all, I only got through three chapters. I enjoyed the story, but the trusting thing seemed a little off. Plot wise, it's pretty obvious where this is going, but it was handle well. It kind of feels like an HIE without the human. As for the ship, though I'm always been iffy with OC/Cannon I really don't mind it in this one, I've never really pushed for any of the CMC to be with other characters other then Sweetie Belle.
In the end, I will favorite and be tracking.
7652135 Thanks for the review! I'll look into your suggestions and work on them, keeping them in mind for future stories and chapters!