Villains Of Equestria Unite!

by Mr. Grimm

Cupcake Vengeance

When Trixie came to, her head ached like crazy, as if a thousand tiny politicians were debating a controversial bill inside of her skull. Her eyes fluttered open to see a single light bulb dangling from the ceiling in the middle of what looked to be a basement. As her brain began to process what she was seeing, her heart began to race. Hanging on the wall was a ragged banner made out of an old bed sheet. Scrawled across it in ketchup were three jagged words: Happy Birthday, Scootaloo! All throughout the dank basement, household objects had been converted into poorly-constructed party decorations. Rubber gloves had been blown up into balloons. Long streamers had been made out of receipt paper, and were festooned unevenly across the ceiling. It had a very unnerving affect somehow, as it looked like it had been made by a couple of demented foals. Trixie tried to get up, but froze as she realized she was tied down to a table, her forelegs and hind-legs fastened down by the papery string used to tie packages.

“Hey girls, look, she’s awake.” Trixie broke into a cold sweat as six wide eyes appeared above her, each one containing a malignant spark from the fires of Tartarus.

“Well hello there, Trixie,” Scootaloo said with a smile, placing a terrifying accent on the unicorn’s name, “It’s so nice of you to drop by our little party.” She turned to her two equally frightening cohorts. “Get the honey and syrup.” Sweetie Belle and Applebloom nodded and left the table, leaving allowing Trixie’s curiosity to scare her senseless.

“Oops, I almost forgot,” said Scootaloo as she reached under the table and grabbed a roll of tinfoil, “Can’t have you using your magic to escape. Then you’d miss out on my party.” There was a flash of crinkled metal as the Pegasus filly tightly wrapped the unicorn’s horn in tinfoil, thereby depriving her of her magic.

“W-what are you going to do to Trixie?” squeaked the mortified magician. A horrible grin slowly spread across Scootaloo’s face as she leaned in close to Trixie.

“We’re gonna do the best we can.” Trixie suddenly felt something runny on her head. Her eyes swiveled in their sockets to see Applebloom and Sweetie Bell clutching bottles of honey and maple syrup in their hooves. The two fillies snickered to themselves as they emptied them into Trixie’s mane. The unicorn’s trembling mouth opened in a silent scream as her scalp was saturated with a horrid mixture of the stickiest substances available to her diminutive captors.

“No!” cried the horrified mare as she struggled in her restraints, “No! Not my mane!”

“Oh, it’ll be more than yer mane,” said a cheery Applebloom, “You wanna give her the zit-cream, Scoot?”

“Of course,” replied the orange Pegasus as she reached beneath the table, pulling out a jar filled with a repulsive, gray gel-like substance. Trixie stared at it with two magenta pits of terror.

“What’s that?…” she whimpered. Scootaloo stuck her hoof in the jar with a sickening squelch.

“Zit cream,” replied the Pegasus. Trixie cringed as the filly’s hoof touched her face. Whatever the ‘zit-cream’ was, it was the slimiest, most utterly foul thing she had ever felt.

“You see,” said Scootaloo as she began to slather it across the unicorn’s face, “While you were napping, we got all the greases and oils we could find from the store, and mixed them together with some dirt. Do you know what this stuff will do to you?” Trixie silently shook her trembling head.

“It’s going to clog your pores,” Sweetie Belle answered, “And you’re going to get these huge, hideous boils all over your face. They’ll be all red and swollen, with pus oozing out and stuff.” Trixie’s overly-full stomach turned at the thought of her pristine face becoming blemished. Her slime-caked face grimaced in a miserable frown as Scootaloo finished applying the disgusting mixture.

“Hey Sweetie Belle, can you get the ants?” asked Applebloom, “I’ll finish with the syrup.” Trixie’s eyes nearly bugged out of their skull as she once again fought with the string that bound her.

“Ants?!” squealed the panicked mare, “What are you going to do with ants?!”

“This,” replied Sweetie Belle as she dumped a jar full of writhing ants onto Trixie’s head. The insects, following their instinctual love of sugar, began crawling throughout every inch of the unicorn’s syrup and honey soaked mane. Trixie let out a series of garbled screams as she felt their miniscule legs claw at her scalp, sending a powerful stream of shivers down her spine. The Cutie Mark Crusaders laughed childishly at her misery. Eventually, however, the ants became stuck in the stickiness, and ceased movement. Trixie lay on the table, breathing heavily, her heart about to explode.

“Hey, did we ever decide what we were gonna do with this?” asked Applebloom as she held out a heavy metal tool.

“The monkey wrench?” said Scootaloo, “I don’t remember.”

“Why do they call it a monkey wrench?” asked Sweetie Belle as she gave it a sideways glance, “I don’t get it.”

“Maybe it was invented by monkeys or somethin’” suggested Applebloom. Trixie winced as the filly threw the wrench into the basement wall with a loud crack. Her attention then turned her tail, as the three fillies had grabbed a hold of it. The mare’s eyes tired into pinpricks as she saw the pair of enormous shears held in Scootaloo’s hooves.

“D…d-don’t…” Trixie whimpered as tears streamed down her dirty face.

“Cutie-Mark Crusader Tail Barbers!” cried the fillies, “YAY!” There was a loud snap as the shears clapped shut, cropping Trixie’s tail in the process. The mare began to cry as she watched the silken strands of her once beautiful tail fall from the table. To add insult to injury, Scootaloo picked up the tail from the floor, walked across the room, and stuck it onto a crudely drawn ‘pin the tail on the pony’ drawing tacked to the wall. Trixie let her head fall back on the table as she wept pitifully.

“Gee, that was fun,” said Scootaloo as she merrily trotted over to the miserable magician, “Now I guess it’s time for cupcakes!” upon hearing the word ‘cupcakes’ Trixie remembered how sick she was feeling from gorging herself earlier.

“But wait,” said Applebloom, “We don’t have any cupcakes anymore…” Trixie’s heart raced as sweat poured down her brow.

“That’s right,” said Sweetie Belle, “Somepony ate them all…” Trixie began to squirm as the three fillies surrounded her, each one with an evil grin plastered to her face.

“Well I guess we’ll have to skip right to the piñata,” said Scootaloo, “Applebloom, would you please?”

“Of course,” replied the earth filly. She suddenly pushed down on a nearby lever made of an old mixing spoon. Before Trixie knew what was happening, the table suddenly split apart beneath her. Her limbs slid out of the restraints as she was dropped to the cement floor. She wasn’t there for long, however, as seconds later she felt several strings press against her underside. Pulleys squeaked as she shot up into the air on some kind of harness before coming to a jarring stop. Trixie was now suspended from the ceiling, looking down at her three satanically evil captors from her strange harness made of yarn, string, and rope. The unicorn’s legs kicked uselessly beneath her as she watched the Cutie-Mark Crusaders pick up three long, sturdy-looking dowels from the corner of the room.

“I’m sorry!” screamed the magician, “I’m sorry I ate your cupcakes!”

“So am I,” said Scootaloo as she took the first swing.

Comments

[Xerzes]

[DarkMasterX]

I think there's a difference between 'discorded' and 'psychotic'...

[Mr. Grimm]

817204

Well, the chapter was supposed to be a parody of the infamous fanfic 'Cupcakes', so it was going to be somewhat darker than the other chapters...and I always figured that if the CMC were Discorded, they would transform from three sweet, innocent, well-meaning fillies into psycho-sadistic brats from hell, similar to these three.

[Joosh]

The lack of Flim and Flam saddens me.

[Zinger]

update?

[Enderquake]

awesome dead fic.