Greetings! I come from the farthest reaches of the Internets to share my mediocrity with you all!
Well, here it is. A fic involving all the villains discussing the superiority of fingers over hooves, peddling clensing devices, having flashbacks, and attempting world domination under the guidance of a psychotic mad-stallion...Did I mention it's technically a musical?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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MERMAID MAN AND BARNICLE BOY UNITE!
A Musical you say? You've gained my attention.
...
....
I am not sure what crazyness will come of this, but I shall keep my eye on it.
Continue my good author. This read proves quite funny and enjoyable!
Bad Horse!
Musical!
DR HORRIBLE IS HERE!
Well, this certainly was a really interesting read. I'll definitely be following it. However, it's just a bit rough around the edges, and it's mainly caused by one problem. Here goes...
The main issue is how you separate dialogue and actions from between characters. For example:
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“Dude,” muttered Gilda, “Are you…okay?” War Horse suddenly sent a bolt of dark energy into the wall, causing a massive explosion.
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The proper action would be to separate Gilda's dialogue and War Horse's action with a paragraph break. It would look like so:
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“Dude,” muttered Gilda, “Are you…okay?”
War Horse suddenly sent a bolt of dark energy into the wall, causing a massive explosion.
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As you may be able to tell, both flow and impact are assisted by this one change. It works even better with the rest of the paragraph there.
Of course, this also applies to pretty much every other situation in the story, even when it's the group of villains' reactions to War Horse.
Fix that, and the story will read much better. Great job! This is certainly an entertaining story, so keep up the great work!
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4878-d99.gif
Whatmakes this great is I can SEE this happening!
oh my celestia, this is the best thing i have seen on here yet
FIRST!!!!! Andlove this story!!!
Season 3 writers - are you watching?
This, please!
SPACEBALLS!!!!!! I SAW IT FIRST!!!!!!!
Musical?
Well, that makes sense. Everything with Flim and Flam becomes a musical. That's what they do.
On a more serious note, I bloody love this. Even though stereotypical villain cliches tend to make me cringe, and even though I'm not usually one for random hilarity like this, you manage to pull this story together in a way that even manages to charm a hardened, serious writer like myself.
In addition, your portrayal of the other villains pretty much fits them quite perfectly. Plus, you also emphasize that, quite frankly, all of these villains would not work too well together. Our friend War Horse just may have gotten a bit overboard with his recruiting party.
This should be featured.
Spaceballs reference!
Aw yeah! Discorded Crusader revenge time! *poor Trixie*
oh, god, polka...we're doomed...
817204
Well, the chapter was supposed to be a parody of the infamous fanfic 'Cupcakes', so it was going to be somewhat darker than the other chapters...and I always figured that if the CMC were Discorded, they would transform from three sweet, innocent, well-meaning fillies into psycho-sadistic brats from hell, similar to these three.
When Discord was singing his song I literally had to stop Because I was laughing to hard.
lol
The lack of Flim and Flam saddens me.
update?
awesome dead fic.