Sir lightning blade
Joined 9th Aug, 2012 ·
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I'll edit your story, if you need me to
6077010 Thank you so much, I may take you up on that offer! Dyslexia is a nightmare!
Bit curious, but are these the classic "guy with tits" archetype futa? As I don't see any mention of cunt expansion in that list :P
As, if it's not the classic/standard male identity futa, that'd be kinda cool. Almost never see a fic with a female/herm identity one :3
6079614 Sorry that question cannot be answered, because I don't know how Lyra and bonbon feel about that advocate. Although I guess bonbon identifies as female? Wait that's for another story I can't tell you any more details on. Look forward to that in October!
Although I cannot reveal too much sexual information from the Princess of love's husband. (The goddess of love is a form of all of love but, that means you have kinky stuff in the bedroom. Really kinky stuff.]
6079860 Advocate? And so, very probably that all but bonbon are male?
And well, okay? xD With that description+content info though, it seems as if it is heavily male focused :P
Note : If you *need* to put the name of the character talking in front of the text each time, you're doing it wrong.
Also, yes, this is in dire need of proper editing... Once edited, you might want to repost this story, to start 'fresh'.
6084866 Even if I did put down the name you do realize it's twilight talking to twilight, so you would might actually fall into the exact same problem. And I don't like to over task editors he's doing the October stuff right now
6084866 I agree. The name of the speaking character should be at the end of the sentence. It helps the story flow more smoothly so that it will be easier to read and therefore more enjoyable. Other than that pretty good
6091373 Thank you also if you figured out the moniker good points
Ey! exusie me may hozay, yo soy el bronday smokey'o and i want that grass conprenday?
6086238 easy solution one is Twilight the other is Sparkle. or Twi and SciTwi the naming problem has been fixed before.
It also would help if I could tell the twilights apart cause at the moment you did not give any indication of which ones which
8396810
I used colors & right next to the names are little the notions.