Cobolt Soundwave
Joined 19th Jul, 2013 ·
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Okay. I don't understand why there are so many downvotes. This story is just getting started. However, I am surprised Trixie is only going to be staying in the hospital for three days after fainting from starvation. There are also some spelling mistakes, but nothing warranting a thumbs-down. I will keep an eye on this to see where it goes.
4095936 Thanks
and I'm also still looking for an editor so I proofread it myself but yeah i can see about the starvation and it hadn't really crossed my mind about that but I plan to try and make this a good one but it is my first story and every little bit of criticism helps.
4096815 and also the amount of downvotes doesn't really bug me if someone didn't like the story it clearly wasn't for them so it's fine.
This is going well, continue.
*rubs chin*
hmmm this looks interesting.....
i shall look into this.
You got to love Pinkie Pie's fourth wall breaking humor.
Trixie has teleported before,
however, I can believe that because Trixie just got out of the hospital and ate her first good meal in quite some time, that she would have such a reaction to teleporting. Anyway, I look forward to the next chapter.
4108757 Yeaaaaa, I kinda forgot about that but I was leaning towards the stomach full of food.
And yes I think is better when she breaks the fourth wall.
4108757 I'd also like to believe that the amulet gave her the ability to teleport.
4109452 I know that. I was just saying that she has teleported before. I'm not saying she can do it now.
still a little put off by sex tag.
put this does have potential
4109474 oh, no, I understand what you mean but that's why I say she isn't used to it since it didn't seem she did it under her own power.
4109541 I'll let everyone know when there is going to be a sex scene. That's not going to happen until later on in the story though so when it does happen and there might be more than one we may skip over it if you wish to do so.
Is Trixie gonna be straight or a lesbian in this story?
4115356 She's gonna be straight, as you've seen at the end of chapter 3 when she met the human character in the story.
Take your time we'll be here. BTW good luck with school.
4133701 Thanks man
only prombel i see is lack of body descriptions
there's still a few paragraphs where they talk in the same one.
but liked it.
If you have writer's block I may have a chisel to help with that.
*hands you a bottle of absinthe* Van Goh was drinking this when he cut off his ear, maybe it will help those creative juices!*mutters* or turn you into an amputee
4239381 I'll try and get them separated, my brain just thinks too fast sometimes and then when I write it down it just comes out that way and I miss it when I go back and proofread.
I wouldn't want to work at a cafe either if the same thing happened to me that happened to Trixie. Anyway, here's hoping that the Cakes hire Trixie.
Based on the description of the house, this comment doesn't make sense. After all, their names are on the house.
Don't you mean 'made sure she wasn't drooling on the table'?
I think you meant 'it was just priceless'?
Are Trixie and Rainbow Dash secretly related?
Isn't it 'Why were you blushing before'?
These were the only mistakes I remember seeing.
However, I do like how this story is going so far. Keep it up.
Bold move trixie.
Ps: loved the big band theory refrence
4283287 thanks I'll be sure to got those errors fixed as soon as possible, just not near a usable computer at the time
4283287 also with the cutie mark I just wrote it like that since she is there to visit and is more focused on something else that she would make a comment like that in her head. I know I would do something like that, cause I have before
4291084 So Trixie didn't notice Octavia's name on the home? She was wondering about her name in her thoughts.
4291377 People tend to forget things when there nervous and or jumpy even things like that.
4286580 It must have been unintentional cause it never crossed my mind though I'm assuming you meant the line from Vincent and the many names for his home right? also have a mustache
4293453 nope I was thinking the, "did you forget you keys?" With Octavia, she seems like she would be the most sheldoeske charachter in this MLP universe and Vincent would be Leonard in this circumstance.
4302765 yeah I can see that now. I've only watch the show a couple of times so, not too familiar with the little jokes from the show.
4304321 oh well, the fact it was unintentional just makes it funnier!
4311793 glad you like that part, I liked dong that part. This was lacking in the adorableness section in my opinion so I felt that I needed to put that In there. Glad that you found that worthy of a post.
*stares into a ball of swirling cloud-like runes* I see an orgy In the near future...
4314359 hmmm, maybe not in this story but that doesn't mean not in another story. I've got some ideas for a later time for when this story is finished.
Spike x Rarity (As well as a clop side story); Fluttershy x Big Mac; Rainbow x Soarin; Trixie x Vincent. Any other couples (or clop scenes/side stories) coming up in this story.
: How about me and Killeroreo?
4319944 It seems my comment was deleted, oh well, time for a re-post.
I'm not going to give away whether or not there is going to anymore pairings, there might be hints but not out-right telling.
And...we'll see
Sorry it's taking me so long to get the next update out, but I have finals right now. So when that's over with I will have plenty of time to write and update more often. Thanks for being to patient.
Dude I was so freakin close to tearing up.
Edit: I forgot to mention that I'm glad that she's not speaking in the third person, I find that to be so freaking annoying.
4353578 Ya Imagine me as I wrote it
, but that was the jist of that chapter. To make people feel what she was feeling and see what she went through. But those will be the only really sad parts in the story. Promise.
Ok I'm a little scared now. I was eating some Oreo's when I read this chapter.
4354269 Hahahaha! Pinkie knows! SHe KnoWs alL!
4357397 Ok dude that's not something I need right now.
4357407
Luckily for pinkie I brought an ANTI-CANNON! It does the exact opposite of a cannon, by igniting a charge "white powder" that sucks in all things that have previously been shot from a cannon, or similar device.
Well, considering we're talking about Pinkie, I can see that happening.
Anyway, real life happens. As long as you are still working on it, I don't mind a little waiting.
4368118 It was one in the morning I'll fix that now thanks for noticing.
4368118 And yes, now I should have plenty of time to work on it since ya'know no school at the moment.
Totally jackie chan reference :3
Here's one for YOU to figure out: aaaaannndddd theeeeennnnnnnn?
4382816 Baaaahhhh, you got me stumped on that one. I concede