Pinkie Pie was left in something of a pickle when Discord cancelled his order for every display cake in the shop and disappeared – although to call it a pickle was inaccurate. It was more like a trip up chocolate creek without a candy cane paddle.
Set during 507: Make New Friends but Keep Discord.
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I like it
5990733 Thanks so much! That's so awesome to hear
Smelling salts. Neat. How does that work with ponies? Is it ammonia based? Would this work with people?
6316049 Thanks for the comment. I thought so personally since ammonia makes you inhale reflexively and Pinkie needed to take a breath. Dunno about people - maybe you could use them to shut a person up for a second while they cough but only if you're prepared for a barrage of abuse after!
I did have the idea that in her early career Maud had discovered a naturally-occurring solid mineral that acted like an anesthetic when mixed with water, like chloroform in a similar salt form, and that it helped her get settled in her career, but I discarded it for brevity.
Very enjoyable, loved it very much!
6437100 Thank you for giving it a place in your favourites
6438025 No no, I won't be disregarding it, you make great points. Thank you for the critique. This was the first time that I tried to write both Pinkie and Maud, so I'm glad they were at least somewhat in character!
Regarding the narrator creep - yep, I can see it. Personally I struggled with what exactly Maud would do - she didn't strike me as the type to really express any of what she was feeling, so I wasn't sure how to show what she was feeling other than by telling the reader. Similarly with Pinkie, I was copying the show in terms of how she monologued about the cakes. I think I slightly overplayed Pinkie's sense of 'being silly because she enjoys it', although I'm confident I wouldn't have done that for any other character.
You've definitely made some points that I'll carry into my next story and do my best to address. Thanks again!