Tomber Amoureux

by FluffyPinks

10: Girls Night Out

Tomber Amouruex

Girls Night Out

~~~~~

The mare inside slowly opened the door and it creaked, almost falling off of its rusty hinges. It revealed a very exhausted looking Cloudkicker, except her hair was in a messy bun and it looked like she was getting gray hair, most likely from all of the stress of having a child.

"I guess it's time I explain to you how I got in this situation, and why I was yelling at you a few days ago." Cloudkicker's head hung low as she invited the five ponies in, knowing that her behavior a few days ago was unacceptable. She had just been so stressed since she had Featherweight, and it didn't help that she was broke. Cloudkicker took a seat on a very worn couch and motioned for the others to do the same.

"So there I was, minding my own business, just making sure that the clouds were all in formation, since a big storm was scheduled for that evening. Then all of the sudden, Thunderlane showed up with pretty daisies in his mouth, looking all gentleman like and he explained to me that he had liked me for a very long time, and asked if I would be his marefriend. So I said yes, being the naïve mare that I was. So a few weeks later our relationship got more intense, and things only escalated from there. After Thunder found out that I was pregnant, he immediately flew off, and I haven't seen him since. So I was left with the colt, and I had barely any money to take care of myself and after Featherweight was born, I was broke. Each day that I passed your castle I grew more envious, seeing that you were very wealthy, and I had and still have nothing. That's the only reason Featherweight is a reporter for the News. After he found out that information about all of you, I did not care, seeing that I had become so envious of all of you. I only realized now that I had been so rude, and I am sorry." Cloudkicker finished, and silence swept over the small room.

"I had no idea-" Twilight started,

"It's fine really, but right now I would just like to sit in peace, so I would be very grateful if all of you could leave." Twilight, AppleJack, Rainbow, Fluttershy and Rarity all got up and left, although they were still upset that their personal information was in the News Paper, they understood why. They all trotted back to the castle, in need of something that would get their minds off of things.

~~~~~

Pinkie returned from the application with a smile on her face; she was hired. Work started Monday, and today was Sunday. She trotted back to the castle, seeing all of the girls, and she thought that being hired called for a celebration, but she couldn't let Twilight know that she was working, so she needed to find another reason. She walked up to them and they all smiled, and Twilight came over to her and gave her a little peck, explaining to her what had happened earlier.

"It seems like you guys need a break, and I know just the place." Pinkie said with a smirk.

~~~~~

They all arrived walked up to a very loud place a few hours later, and the sun began to set.

"This is it." Pinkie said brightly, glad she could finally come back here; she hadn't been here since the day before Twilight and her made cupcakes, and they both became marefriends. The flashing neon sign read: Berry Punch's Blue Boar Inn. All of the mares merely stared at the sign, knowing that this was a very well known-bar, but it was very hard to get into so they had no idea how Pinkie would get them in. Pinkie walked up to a very burly security guard who seems to recognize her instantly.

"Well if it isn't the party animal herself," he says with a smirk. "Who are your friends?"

"This is Twilight, Apple Jack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Rarity." Pinkie said, pointing to each one of them.

"Pleasure to meet your acquaintance. Any friend of Pinkie's is a friend of mine. You can all head on in if you want," the stallion said with a grin. Pinkie motioned for her friends to follow, she noticed that they all had a bewildered expression on their faces so she giggled and once again motioned for her friends to follow.

"How do you know him?" Twilight whispered to Pinkie.

"I'll explain later," the pink mare said, as she opened the doors. They all looked in, noticing that the dance floor flashed with different lights, a disco-ball hanging from the ceiling. They looked over to the DJ stand and saw none other than DJ-Pon3.

"Come on guys, let's go get drinks!" Pinkie shouted over the music, bouncing her way towards the bar. They all followed her through the crowd, bumping into many ponies on the way. When they arrived at the bar, Pinkie was already chatting up the bartender, drink in hoof.

"Y'all must be Pinkie's friends. What can I get for ya?" the stallion said in a raspy voice.

"I'll just have some hard cider." Apple Jack replied.

"Me too." Rainbow said, eager to get her hooves on the cider.

"I'll have a Tequila." Fluttershy said, making all of her friends surprised.

"I didn't know that you drink." Rainbow said to Fluttershy, and Fluttershy giggled at their reactions.

"I'll have your best red wine." Rarity replied, hoping that this bar wasn't full of barbaric ponies.

"What do you think I should get?" Twilight whispered to Pinkie; they both knew that she wasn't one to drink.

"The Vodka here is the best, but that's some pretty strong stuff. I'm not exactly sure you'll be able to handle it, so I can think of something else if you want." Pinkie said to Twilight, thinking over what other good drinks they had here.

"I'll have a glass of Vodka." Twilight replied, sure that she could handle it. Pinkie looked at her with a surprised expression, but smiled. I'm not exactly sure that this will go well for Twilight Pinkie thought, regretting her decision of bringing up Vodka in the first place.

~~~~~

Their drinks were finally ready and before they knew it, Apple Jack and Rainbow were taking shots; seeing who would last the longest. Twilight stared at them, knowing that their competition may take all night. Rarity and Fluttershy were talking in a small quiet corner, hoping to avoid the loud, booming stereos. Twilight merely stared at her drink, and Pinkie walked over, already drinking her third glass of Vodka, not appearing the slightest bit drunk.

"Come on Twi, have some fun!" Pinkie shouted, the speakers muffling her voice a small bit. With a boost of confidence Twilight took a sip of her Vodka, and she felt a totally new sensation. But to Pinkie, she was drunk. Twilight stumbled over to Pinkie with a goofy smile plastered to her face, and stuck her muzzle into the pink mare's chest.

"You smell nice...like vanilla..." Twilight said as she burst into a fit of giggles. Pinkie's face was tomato red.

"W-wow Twilight, you really are a lightweight." Pinkie said. Twilight hugged Pinkie's back and giggled into her fur.

"Your so soft..." Twilight said as she stroked Pinkie's mane, still holding onto the pink mare. Pinkie didn't think it was possible, but her face became even redder. Coming here might not have been the best choice. I just didn't know Twi was that lightweight Pinkie thought to herself. Pinkie had an idea. She draped Twilight over her, who was still giggling and walked over to the other girls. Pinkie then noticed that Twilight was still drinking from her glass somehow, and she had to snatch it away from her. Pinkie then looked up at the girls, and noticed that Rainbow was on the ground.

"T-take t-that ya v-vermin, I w-win!" Applejack said, her voice slurred. She then collapsed onto to the ground next to Rainbow. Pinkie decided that she would have to talk to Fluttershy and Rarity, so she walked over to the corner where they were.

"I'm gonna take Twi home, she might've had too much to drink." Pinkie said. Fluttershy and Rarity looked at Pinkie and saw that on her back was a very drunk Alicorn. Rarity then looked over Pinkie's shoulder to see her date and Rainbow on the ground.

"I think it's best if we leave as well, I'll pay and you can go, Pinkie. Thank you for bringing us." Rarity said as she and Fluttershy went to go retrieve their dates.

~~~~~

Pinkie started to trot slowly back to the castle when she realized that Twilight was trying to get off her back. Twilight finally succeeded and walked over to Pinkie and kissed her. It was an extremely sloppy kiss that tasted like alcohol. Twilight tried to take the kiss further, but Pinkie backed away.

"Twilight you're drunk, stop it." Pinkie said, knowing that this wouldn't keep Twilight from trying to kiss her. Twilight looked at Pinkie with pleading eyes, but Pinkie resisted and put Twilight on her back again. Twilight struggled, trying to get off but she couldn't. So she simply lay on Pinkie's back swaying back and forth until they got to the castle. Pinkie then carried her up the stairs and placed her on the bed. Pinkie peered at the clock and noticed that it was 1:23 AM. Pinkie sighed and slipped into bed with Twilight, who hugged her as she drifted off to sleep.

Author's Note:

Hi everypony! I hope you like the new chapter, I tried making it long. As always, tell me if you see any grammar mistakes. I can't wait to keep writing more!
~FluffyPinks

Comments

[dream1990]

i like it and yes switch this story to teen

[Fort Impression]

6347692 I agree with this. Based on what you have in the story, it should really be labeled as teen related.

As far as grammar goes, the two big mistakes I saw were these:

"I had know idea-"

but it was very hard to get into so they had know idea how Pinkie would get them in.

"I didn't know that you drink."

I just didn't know that Twi was that lightweight

The top two should be no not know. Know means to understand something, so if you replace know with the word understand and read the sentence again, you will notice that it doesn't make sense. Perfect examples on how know should be used are in the last two quotes.
&

"W-wow Twilight, you're really lightweight."

This sentences is structured awkwardly. You have an adjective acting as a title rather than an adjective. If you remove really, as it only acts to emphasize the statement, and separate the you're, it reads like you are giving her a title rather than expression what she is acting like.
You can fix this sentence in two ways:

you're a really lightweight.

or

you really are a lightweight.

It all depends on how you want to portray Pinkie's reaction.

Other than that, the rest is too minor, and it would consume too much of the time that I don't really have... The story is great, and I'm liking it.. Keep up the good work!

Only for you and nothing more,
Fort Impression

[FluffyPinks]

6347827 Thank you so much I'm just having a lot of trouble typing today, so I should have gone back and looked for mistakes, and I'll be sure to rate it teen.

[p61blkwidow]

glad i found and read this story! it is terrific! twi and pinkie are a great couple. kudos to you for writing this story. it is so much fun to read! once again thank you

[Texus]

6347297 don´worry, i can somehow live with it, and it seems he doesn´t even get a chance with her there.

[FluffyPinks]

6348167 Thank you so much for reading my story! I'm so glad that you liked it!

[FluffyPinks]

6349178 Yes, Spike doesn't really get a chance. But I have different plans with him, even if who he is going to date isn't my favorite ship. But I think it would work better with the story.

[Texus]

hhmmmm not bad i guess, but it was better that it nearly came together with the other chapter i think.

I gave you a thumb up, i noiced i still haven´t done it.

[FluffyPinks]

6362278 Thank you so much for the comment. I understand that my pacing is a bit fast, but it's the way that I like to write; I don't want the story to stretch for too long. I also want to make this more of a story about being in love, and in a relationship. I try to make so the characters aren't too OOC, but feel free to tell me when they are and I can change it. I appreciate the suggestion though.

[FluffyPinks]

6363815 Also, yeah I was going for a plot twist, even though I really can't see Mrs. Cake being like that.