Alas, I am a very peculiar pansexual strawberry with a particularly practical skill for painting purple stuff.
Her eyes, her most defining and hated feature... I love them, but she doesn't. She hates her eyes, even though they're part of who she is. Without those eyes, she wouldn't have become the mare she is today. She wouldn't be the mare I know... the mare fell in love with.
>Tagged Flutters and M6 because the other five only make appearances. Nothing too influential in the story.
I hesitate to tag 'sad' because it's not that sad after the first part...
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Daw, this was adorable to read.
5871623 well, it's not over yet
there'll be plenty more cuteness to come!
6243028 Woomf. Well, remember, this is the first chapter. And Derpy is still mad at Rainbow; it's kind of an 'okay, she's your friend, I'll shut up before you get mad' type of thing. She doesn't actually realize that Fluttershy actually gets what she's saying. Also, at this point, it isn't so much Fluttershy having emotional feelings, it's her finding Derpy attractive. There's a bit of a difference. As far as Fluttershy being forward with Derpy, this is season five Fluttershy. She's not as much of a shut in as she was in season one. We'll get to Derpy's abuse in a later chapter, and you'll be shocked at who it was.
And my reason for beefing up Derpy's badass factor, is the paper bag theory. Are you familiar with that? No, of course not, I came up with it. Dur.
The paper bag theory states that if a person is capable of great things, but has one great flaw, say , their appearance, then people will only see that one flaw. it's somewhat akin to putting a paper bag over a beautiful woman's face. No one realizes that she's beautiful, they just see the paper bag. Derpy still has flaws- great flaws. But she's kind of a 'blind swordsman' type of character, creating more strengths to offset her disability.
So, while I thank you for the critique, most of what you pointed out has a reason for being there. I actually put a lot of thought into how the chapters will progress for this story, and carefully planned out how each and every little thing will be dealt with by the end of the story.
Fimfiction always needs more Derpy Ships, thanks for adding another for me to enjoy
I was going to say that it felt like it was going slightly to fast, but looking at your comment, I see that it was mostly physical attraction, not romantic as yet, and that it was intentional, so I can't complain.
There is not enough Derpy romances on this site, I'd write one myself if I had the time, and an Idea.
6440098 Thanks for taking the time to read it! I completely agree with you that there aren't enough Derpy ships. And I always thought Flutters would make a good match for her, being the kind of mare she is. That's why i wrote this one.