Chapter 1.1
Twilight Sparkle, newly proclaimed Princess of Friendship and all around Hero of Equestria, was reading the morning newspaper from her throne, which was actually quite comfortable for something that looked so uncomfortable.
"She did what!?" Twilight Sparkle suddenly screeched, causing Spike to fall right off his own throne onto the Crystal-tree-thing floor. "I mean, they did, and he did, and... huh?"
"Calm down Twilight. I'm sure whatever it is, you're overreacting and need to take a calm breath, like Princess Cadance taught you, remember?" Spike said in a cheery, calm voice. It was best to contain these things before they got out of hand.
"CALM DOWN!? CADANCE! Errrgh!" Twilight growled. "She gave up the Crystal Empire! To Canadians!"
"I- what?" Spike said, or maybe asked, it was kind of two sentences combined, one of which was a statement, and one of which was a question.
"Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadance gave up the Crystal Empire to Canada, the country immediately North of Equestria, because it apparently had it's borders expanded since the Crystal Empire disappeared one and a half thousand years ago! Can you believe it! I had to pass a test for the Crystal Empire to join Equestria as a free land, and then all that work is wasted because Princess Canadance, whoever that is, needed the tax money! I mean-"
Twilight continued to rant for another five minutes or so, but Spike had since taken to staring at the nearest wall as if he was saying "Can you believe what I go through?" to an audience of people watching him on a television show that they were probably way too old to be watching seriously.
"And on top of it all, my Brother agreed to it!" Twilight finished, huffing and puffing as if she had just completed the Equestrian Games triathlon.
"Look, Twilight, I'm sure those were all good reasons for why Equestria shouldn't have given up the Crystal Empire, but don't you think there's a good reason Princess Celestia agreed to let the... what were they called again, Can Aliens?"
"Canadians." Pinkie Pie interjected helpfully from the window she had just popped through.
"Right," Spike continued, "I'm sure Princess Celestia had a very good reason for giving the Empire to the Canadians. She is your old mentor, after all."
"The only reason she gave was a border dispute, which is ridiculous because the Crystal ponies have the right to determine self-governance. The Canadians annexed the land while the Crystal ponies weren't there to object." Twilight retorted. Honestly, Spike wasn't too great with politics anyways, so he couldn't object.
"Tee hee hee." Pinkie chuckled, stepping through the window into the room. "That wasn't the real reason."
"It wasn't?" Twilight was now confused, which tended to happen a lot whenever Pinkie Pie was around. Twilight had learned the rather questionable lesson of not wondering about anything Pinkie did however, and blindly put logic aside when dealing with her friend. Come to think of it, that was probably why she had recently decided to hand over all remaining magical power in Equestria to a villain who had proven he couldn't be trusted in order to free Pinkie Pie, and also Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Spike, and Discord.
"Yep," Pinkie Pie nodded, "It wasn't alright."
"Well then what was the reason?" Twilight asked, still thoroughly confused.
"It was Maple Syrup of course!" Pinkie Pie practically began to drool. "Sweet, yummy Maple Syrup. Cananada would cut off Equestria's supply of Maple Syrup if we made them angry!" Pinkie shouted, thoroughly shaking Twilight from the shoulders. "You wouldn't want that, would you?"
"Maple Syrup? Oh for the..." Twilight massaged her temples in a counterclockwise motion, which was actually only counterclockwise if you were looking at the left side of her head. This was somewhat relaxing, and did a good job of preventing Twilight's mane from spontaneously combusting.
Suddenly an idea clicked into her head. A marvelous, brilliant idea. It would work for sure. "Pinkie," Twilight said slowly, "How would you like to eat as much Maple Syrup as you want, while baking?"
"Would I!" Pinkie shouted.
Forty-eight hours later, all the preparation was complete, Pinkie was sick of sweets (an extremely rare event), and all the diplomats were meeting at the Crystal Palace.
Most of the other Princesses had already met in the Crystal Palace's lobby by the time Twilight and Spike rolled in a rather large cart covered in a white tablecloth. Celestia looked at Twilight quizzically, but didn't say anything. Cadance, however, immediately stood up and trotted over to Twilight, smiling.
Twilight stopped, turning to greet Cadence the expected way.
"Sunshine, Sunshine, Ladybugs awake! Clap your Ew..." Cadence said. "Twilight, why are your hooves all... sticky?"
"Oh, heh heh, that's part of my... solution." Twilight nervously answered, futilely trying to wipe the substance off of her hooves and onto the tablecloth.
The doors opened, and Luna arrived with Princess Canadance, who looked very un-princess-y in a sweater and wool cap. She wasn't even an Alicorn. Who ever heard of a unicorn princess, anyways? She even had a leaf for her cutie mark. What was that suppose to mean?
"Well, now that we're all here, I think we can begin, right?" Twilight asked, looking around at the gathered ponies.
"Yes, if that's okay with our guest." Celestia looked at Princess Canadance.
"Of course. I just want to know what all this is aboot." Canadance replied in a stereotypical Canadian accent the author could do nothing about because it was someone else's character.
Twilight continued: "I called you all here because I've done my research thoroughly." Spike could barely contain his urge to laugh out loud. "And believe I have a solution to our territory dispute."
"But we already reached a solution." Canadance objected.
"Actually, no." Twilight paused to pull a large chart from the bottom of the still covered cart. "I hipe you'll forgive the sy- the sticky stuff on this. You know how Pinkie can get."
"Who's Pinkie?" Canadance whispered to Luna.
"A pink fiend from Tartarus." Luna whispered back.
"I heard that!" Pinkie yelled in Sugar Cube Corner, which startled the Cakes and every customer getting their breakfast.
Setting the chart up, Twilight gestured to the first page, labeled "Diplomatic Processes in Equestria". She continued, "As you can see, Royal Edict 23.49.07 clearly states that all treaties must be ratified by all princesses of Equestria. Since I was a princess at the time, I would need to have ratified the treaty to cede the Crystal Empire to Canada. But I didn't. And I won't."
"But this is our land, eh."
Twilight flipped the page on the chart, now revealing a rather antiquated map of Northern Equestria. "As you can see, the Empire was a sovereign nation in 500 B.C.E., when it disappeared. Canada moved into the land it occupied later, without the approval of it's inhabitants, the Crystal ponies. That's an invasion of a sovereign nation. When the Empire reappeared, Equestria made the Empire a territory of Equestria, obligating us to defend it from foreign invasions."
"But what gives you the right to make it a territory?" Canadance calmly asked.
"The Crystal ponies of course," Twilight nonchalantly stated as she once again turned the page, now revealing a pie chart labeled "Sovereignty Survey Data". "As you can see, 71% of Crystal ponies support Equestrian rule through Princess Cadance, 18% support sovereign rule through Cadance, only 10% support Canadian rule through Cadance, and 1% said 'other'. Now, I looked into Canadian government, and even though you're a Princess, Canada is a parliamentary constitutional monarchy. According to your laws, the Crystal Empire can hold a referendum to secede from Canada, and if it passes it can be ratified by your Parliament. And I'm sure it will pass."
"Parliament wouldn't ratify it." Canadance said, now looking uneasy. It was clear this lavender made really had done her research.
"Then you'd be denying the will of the Crystal ponies! Such an action would be frowned upon by Equestria, and we might even impose trade sanctions."
"Now Twilight, let's not be rash..." Celestia began.
"What about the Maple Syrup!" Luna cried, whipping out a bottle of 100% Pure Maple Syrup, which she'd apparently been keeping in her mane. "What will we do without importing this irreplaceable breakfast condiment?"
"That's where this comes in." Twilight overdramatically stated while removing the white tablecloth from the cart at last. The cart was poled high with pancakes and bottles of liquid that resembled Maple Syrup. "Pinkie and I have perfected a concoction of high fructose corn syrup and fenugreek seed that tastes almost the same as Maple Syrup and is much, much cheaper to make. We already sold three hundred gallons of it to Sugar Cube Corner, and most of the customers didn't notice the difference."
"You are saying this imitator can replace our irreplaceable amber topping?" Luna asked.
"Try it yourself." Twilight said, pulling a stack of Pancakes from the cart and pouring golden Pancake Syrup all over them. Twilight handed it off to Luna.
Luna quickly dug in, shoveling the pancakes into her mouth at a pace that rivaled Celestia's tea drinking habits. "Hmmph," Luna said, mouth still full of breakfast for, "We think that it is not quite as good as our own true Syrup, but we require another plate of pancakes to top with our Maple Syrup, to compare."
Twilight gave Luna another stack of pancakes, which Luna immediately drenched in 100% Pure Imported Canadian Maple Syrup. She dug into those fluffy golden brown cakes, savoring the taste. "Your cheap imitation does not measure up to the superior real thing." Luna proclaimed.
"It seems you cannot so easily replace Maple Syrup." Celestia told Twilight.
"I believe we can." Twilight flipped her chart again. "I surveyed Ponyville and found that 75% of Equestrians would still buy our Pancake Syrup over Maple Syrup, even after having tasted both. And a survey of the local school shows that 95% of foals can't even tell the difference. All we have to do is slap a picture of Celestia on the label and make the price tags obvious, and ponies will buy the fake stuff anyways."
"Hmm..." Luna looked conflicted. "We think perhaps we could give up our amber ambrosia for an inferior product if it meant keeping the Crystal Empire."
"No, wait!" Princess Canadance cried. "You can keep the Crystal Empire, just do do this. Maple Syrup makes up 99% of our exports. Keep the Empire, just take that abominable imitation and send it to Tartarus, never make it or sell it again!"
"Deal." It was now Twilight who looked smug, as she pulled out a scroll that, sure enough, banned the production and sale of imitation Maple Syrup in Equestria and ceded the Crystal Empire to Equestria.
"H-how did you know it'd turn oat like this?" Canadance asked the youngest princess, dumbfounded by Twilight's ability to have predicted what deal Canadance would agree to.
"I did my research, which included your export data. Studying helps." Twilight replied as the Princesses signed of on the new treaty.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- naturalbornderpy · 4.3k words · 946 9 · 12k views
- sunnypack · 53k words · 1,633 110 · 21k views
- sunnypack · 6.6k words · 27 2 · 819 views
- Barrobroadcaster · 7.7k words · 83 3 · 2.8k views
- Shardikku · 3.8k words · 143 6 · 3.9k views
- Drax99 · 9.5k words · 377 13 · 9.5k views
- Nyx - R M brony · 14k words · 25 3 · 867 views
- Autum Breeze · 19k words · 459 40 · 12k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.096 seconds
Total duration
647 users online
993,333 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well. Entertaining, offensive, and chock-full of spelling errors. I don't really know what to say.
For the record, "eh" has a meaning, and you used it wrong. AND WE DON'T SAY ABOOT.
5835644
I was working with the source material, which has Canadance using "eh" and "aboot". It was labeled a sequel for a reason.
5835644
Also, I'd find it immensely helpful if you'd point out any specific spelling errors, so I can fix them.
i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx61/aaramsch/CanadanceCry2_zpslfij42ch.png
5835718
Poor Canadance, she got her Crystal Empire taken away.
Canada points out that they own the land and take an ancient city that Equestria never had the rights to in the first place. Twilight steals it back by threatening to topple Canada's economy. And I'm supposed to be rooting for Twilight, here?
This is a travesty, eh.
5836022
Well, Canada never had the rights to it either.
And root for whoever you want, this story was never meant to be serious anyways.
5836059
I can't tell if you're referring to the story, or the the fact that Canada lost the Crystal Empire.
Probably both.
5836123
No. The imitation syrup.
5836169
A travesty that they threw it all to Tartarus?
I'm continually amazed at the rippling effects caused by me mocking someone's spelling error.
5837027
I take it you liked the story?
Because I think Bootsy Slickmane liked it too, and if both the founder of the group and the author of the original story liked it, I'll take that as a win.
5837079
I haven't read it yet.
Canadian ponies? So the cows? The cows are ALL canadian! and also snails...
Alright, I guess I should comment with something other than a pic of Princess Canadance crying, though it actually sums up my thoughts pretty well. Let's see, where to begin...
Well, there wasn't enough Canadance, for one thing. Now, though you can never have enough of her, it ties into themes running through this whole fic. From a genre standpoint, this was a deconstruction of the original fic. It rips apart the original work and utterly defies everything it was about. I'd rather not compare the two, but it's kinda hard not to considering this one can't stand without it. The original was wacky, weird, and absurd. This is much less strange and felt mean-spirited rather than fun. For example, Canada lays claim to the land because it appeared on their soil. So, in retaliation, Twilight threatens to ruin Canada's economy and then creates a ban on artificial maple syrup. That's downright tyrannical.
There were also numerous jabs at the original, which I would let go of had they been funny. Like, this:
Blueblood was a unicorn prince. None of the foreign leaders from the show have been alicorns. I'd write this off as part of Twilight's angry inner monologue, but she's met these ponies, so she would know this. Also, this:
That doesn't jive. Equestria moved into the Empire and just took it, despite it not being on their land. If the Empire was sovereign, Equestria is just as much at fault as Canada, if not moreso, since they didn't even own the land. The following paragraphs attempt to make it seem justified, but Twilight has zero jurisdiction in the Empire and that survey clearly wasn't done before Equestria invaded the Empire. Equestria totally conquered the Empire. And because of this, she goes for wrecking Canada's economy to bully the nation into complying. Again, I could go with this if it were actually entertaining to read, but it wasn't.
Now, there were a few good parts, like Luna's, well, lunacy when it comes to maple syrup. And this:
This, however, was pretty funny.
In short, it has a few entertaining moments, but it goes against everything the original stood for and feels like a recursive fixfic. Twilight was very mean and vengeful for her brother having become Canadian, and acted like a tyrant just to get her way. Most of all, though, I just didn't enjoy reading it. It was meh.
5846813
Well, all criticism is appreciated.
I'll acknowledge all of your points as valid criticism , even though I disagree with most of them.
This was done on purpose (except for the lack of wackiness... I thought it was decently wacky, although as an unofficial sequel it lacks the originality). Twilight was supposed to be mean-spirited, she was supposed to be slightly tyrannical and irrational. If you felt it wasn't fun... well, I'm sorry I failed to please you.
There isn't really any real-world precedent for this... (EDIT: There is actually a town in Italy that, through an odd occurrence never officially became part of Italy. This was discovered by some historian in recent times, and the town declared its sovereignty. Italy recognized the town as a sovereign micro-nation.) but I'm pretty sure a nation suddenly appearing in your country is a poor excuse to annex it and start collecting its taxes. Furthermore, the original strongly suggested that Canada would cut of the Maple Syrup trade to Equestria... not exactly economy ruining, but still a bullying tactic to get Equestria to give in. This story was an attempt to parody the original... flipping the tables so Equestria does in this story what Canada did in yours: annex a country for poor reasons and threaten to ruin the Maple Syrup trade to get the other country to concede.
I pretty much explained this above, but I'd like to add one more comment. If these stories were to go with Canon, not only was the Crystal Empire part of Equestria to begin with (so Equestria didn't just move in), but the crystal ponies seemed to immediately recognize Cadance as the rightful ruler... for some reason. The problems with Equestria's rule only exist in the world you created.
Once again, I'm sorry I failed to entertain you with this story, but judging from the rating, I at least succeeded in entertaining some people. And once again, I tried to establish Twilight as irrationally angry in the first scene. Even in the second scene, Celestia makes a comment about Twilight making a rash decision. And rather than trying to go against what the original stood for, I tried to make this fic about what the original stood for, but reversed (That made more sense before I typed it out. I hope you get the picture).
5873270
Is this the part where we start talking about whether aliens can survive inside black holes?
5873373
Just kidding!
5873382
Oddly enough, that article directly pertains to another story I wrote on this site...
5851266 Somehow, I never got a notification for this reply, else I'd have replied weeks ago.
Ahh, I see what you were doing, now. In a lot of ways, yeah, it's both similar and the reverse of the original. I think that's what made it feel so strange, though. Everything the first did, this one undid, rendering the original events null. On the wackiness, I dunno. Twilight was so irrationally mean that it made the whole thing feel darker. I dunno, maybe it would've seemed zanier if Twilight had just been acting normal and everyone else was crazy for syrup, or something.
Except Canada never made that threat. Nopony suggested that Canada would cut off maple syrup supplies except for Celestia, who was also suggesting that they give a city to them in exchange for said syrup. It was a patently ridiculous claim Celestia made, and that was the idea. Celestia was nuts. Twilight plays the crazy role in this one, but where Celestia appeared to be insane but benign, Twilight comes off as psychotic and bent on getting the city back even if it means ruining another country.
Again, nobody in the show said that the Crystal Empire used to be a part of Equestria. The city's very name implies that it was originally its own empire, it's own nation. Not only that, but Celestia says that even her knowledge of the empire is limited, and she was around back then. If it had been part of her country, I think she would've known a thing or two about it. Both of Equestria's dealings with Sombra would seem to have been the country moving into another nation and toppling its dictator.
That may very well be. But, well, this is a sequel, and thus it's in the same world. This is what makes this feel more like a deconstruction than a direct sequel.
Oh, and for the record, that one downvote isn't from me. I actually didn't vote on this. It wasn't really bad, I just didn't get much out of it. Regardless, it is nice to see more stuff involving Canadance (it still blows my mind that any of the stuff surrounding her happened in the first place), though it would've been nicer to see more of her, here. But I'm naturally biased, in all of this.
6004948
Yeah, I wondered why you never responded. But I just said "Eh, maybe they didn't want to talk to me anymore."
To bad there isn't a double AU tag, to make it clear this is an alternate universe of your alternate universe.
My basis is this:
Note that the royal guard says the news is from Northern Equestria, not North of Equestria. It would seem to imply that the Crystal Empire is in Northern Equestria. Now, I can guess what you're thinking: "Well, that doesn't mean the Empire itself is part of Equestria. Maybe just the guards who saw it return were from Northern Equestria?" But that's not all I've got. No, there's more:
The phrasing here, "all of Equestria" strongly suggests that the Crystal Empire is a part of Equestria that has effects on the whole. It doesn't say "these things are reflected across the Empire and also Equestria", it says they are reflected across all of Equestria.
As for why it is called an Empire even if it is part of Equestria? Well, here in California where I live, there's a county called the Inland Empire, and it sure isn't its own country. But a more show relevant example would be Twilight's Kingdom (odd, they have no King?) which is still a part of Equestria.
And Celestia having very little knowledge? You can't expect her to know everything.
Also, I didn't know if you had disliked it (I think it was Moon Splash who disliked soon before you posted, and someone else liked, so I originally thought you had liked it). But yeah, sometimes I come across stories that I don't think are bad but don't want to like either. I'm okay with that.
6005088
So... the Crystal Empire was never an empire in the first place (it did have a king instead of an emperor). I really wish the show made more sense, at times. Good thing I originally put an Alternate Universe tag on there, though, and then explained why the Empire wasn't in Equestria after all.
EDIT: And judging by the griffon episode, Equestria is just the name for their region of land, and the name may have little to do with their actual nation. So this may actually work in canon.
As for them accepting Cadance in the show, I always figured she was one of very few descendants of some crystal ponies who weren't in the Empire when it vanished. She has always had the Crystal Heart as a cutie mark, and I doubt that's a coincidence. Her being born a pegasus (in that one book) could simply be mixing of blood over the years. Her mane is even reminiscent of those that crystal ponies have. That's my best guess.
6005117
I believe the comics (or maybe a book, I can't remember, but usually the comics are to blame) depict a pre-Sombra Empire ruled by Princess Amore, stated to be a distant relative of Cadance. Princess Amore is a unicorn, and also a good friend of Luna and Celestia. Now, this doesn't necessarily mean the Crystal Empire was a sovereign nation (Once again, Twilight's Kingdom and modern day Crystal Empire have their own rulers, and are still part of Equestria as a nation), but this is supported in the show, with the History of the Crystal Empire book Twilight reads stating that the Crystal Faire was started by their "first Queen" (But Queens are always evil, and Princesses are good! We know this from Disney!) so we can take the comics as sort of canon in this case.
And that makes them this interesting new thing called "immigrants".
But they weren't inhabitants at the time.
Ever just not liked a story? Sure, it was well made, but it just didn't really click, and even though your morality is against the ending, you still feel like a jerk for disliking it? That basically how I felt disliking this.
6005088 one thing, the ponies sometimes refer to their world as Equestria, as well as they country.
6262496
Resurrect dead comment go!
In canon, the world they live in is called "Earth". Equestria is their nation, but it seems more and more that Equestrian is a rather large natIon with a rather ambiguous government.
6400251 huh. When did they call they planet "Earth"? And I was basing that off the time one of the Mane 6 said "wide world of Equestria". Sound a bit pretentious for a large country, right? I mean, I don't go around saying "planet America", do I? If I do, please slap me.
6403512
6403687 huh. I'd dismissed that as Pinkie Pie. Even if it was Chancellor Puddingham.
crystal-tree-thing
I just call it 'Castle Ugly'. It looks like Hallmark commissioned Swarovski to re-imagine the Ponyville library.
5851266
Well, that tears it, then.
I'm upvoting this story because I enjoyed it, and in opposition to what I consider roughly-worded and strongly-biased criticism of the story.
So, the Crystal Empire is Equestrian Quebec? :p ;)
9513448
Now i want a story about Princess Canadance dealing with pony Quebec, pony-french and all
9743613
Me too!