Marioaddict
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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5900677
I'm glad you're liking it! I'm working on the third chapter now, hopefully I'll have it done soon enough!
5972449
I'm not quite sure I know what you mean. If you're talking about this line:
"The entire upper part of my wing bent in entirely the opposite direction of the way it should go."
Then that's addressed before he sets it in the splint:
"I think my wing needs to be less… bent, for this to work."
If you mean "will his wing ever heal properly"...
well, we'll see.
EDIT: Oh, wait, I see now. You mean THIS line:
"I managed to get my wing facing… sort of the right direction."
And... yeah, I'm gonna stick with my second answer: we'll see.
Ohhh... Amazing!! It's been some time since I've gotten into a fallout Equestria Story
6176898
Well I'm honored to know that this one drew you in! Thank you!
6176909 I found it in Equestria Daily. Only story that's ever gotten my attention p in there, actually, and totally worth it. Can't wait for the new chapter. Amazing story!
One can always depend on his friends to strand him on a radioactive wasteland. Yet the dragon appearance was also a pleasant surprise. Hopefully, that was not just a one-time appearance. It would be a waste of wonderful chaotic potential.
Our protagonist also has much potential to explore. Artists tend to have intriguing perspectives on the world. What kind of introduction to the wasteland would we receive from him?
Becoming a companion to a raider is one way to break someone into the wasteland... And definitely a method I enjoy reading about!
6181906 I'm glad you like it! Thank you!
This made me giggle. But I sort of feel bad because I'm not sure if it was intentional or not. An aide is an assistant. Aid is help.
I'll comment on something worthwhile when I've finished reading. :3
6247080 oh. whoops.
I'll just go fix that right now.
I sent you a PM because my comment got super long. I wanted to leave this here in case you're ever counting comments or something. :P
Very nice story so far.I cant wait to see what will happen to the next chapter!!
6272234 Thank you! You won't have to wait long, with any luck I should have the next chapter finished by either Monday or Tuesday.
6273677
I cant wait
The contrast between Canvas's undying innocence and Temper's undying cruelty is absolutely intriguing. Whereas Littlepip just got used to the killing by chapter four, Canvas still continues to emphasize morals over survival. A stronger protagonist could not be found in this twisted version of Equestria.
The consistent characterization for Temper makes Canvas's situation just tragic. Nothing better describes an antagonist than an unwavering need to make lives miserable. But I am starting to doubt her claim to have pulled off numerous raids like that on Rainston before. Everything she has done so far in the combat scenes has been entirely dependent on luck and bad aiming on the opposition's part. One would think that a veteran raider going solo would have learned from past encounters.
Another great chapter, regardless! I bet that Temper will be the first to break, only because Canvas has proven himself a die-hard idealist.
I'm starting to wonder if canvas will ever escape, or if not that, turn temper away from the raider lifestyle... or if she would sell him anyway X3
Great chapter!! Cant wait for more
Sorry, this chapter ended up being a bit long... hopefully not too long though. Enjoy!
Another great chapter
I wonder who Ironsights is?
I got to say... I do not think I have ever read a Fallout story where Mercy could be considered more satisfying than violence. Bravo on this magnificent chapter!
With a villain that had me recalling a certain "Master" and a convincing use of inner voice, this chapter just had me reeled in. Like a complete story of its own, it features a well-paced plot that ends with a complete turn for our characters. All the pieces that made the story quirky and engaging get polished to a shine.
You had my curiosity, good sir... now you have my interest.
6513047 Aw, stoppit.
I'm sure it's not THAT good.
Thank you very much for your continued kind words! With any luck, I'll continue to please in the future.
This is a very good story, mang. The characterisation is very well done, and the way the MC doesn't like fighting or killing really adds to his feeling of loss and helplessness. Keep up the good work, I'll be sure to be reading this in the future!
Whatever his intentions were in sending Canvas to that airship, that was a jerk move not telling Canvas about the raiders. I do not remember if those spritebots had some sort of hacking time limit on them, yet he seriously could have just mentioned that one detail.
Toward the chapter proper, I enjoyed the change in pace that followed Canvas's escape from his captor. It felt as it should have: slow and refreshing as Canvas would have liked it. The change is a welcome demonstration of his newfound freedom.
Kernel Shell makes for an intriguing character as well, embodying the bright spirit sorely lacking from the entirety of the previous chapters. She has a genuinely interesting philosophy and a fun personality that bounces off of Canvas's. She provides for the breather he needed and the sense of comfort and optimism right before the heavy hitter at the end.
Overall, this chapter was a well-executed transition in story arcs that only suffered somewhat from Watcher's behavior and an overabundance of "Acks!" and BANGS! These are starting to get noticeable this far into the story.
By the way, that fear of magic was a good idea to implement. Until the next one!
6799827 Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it!
6799887
I dunno, he said "expect a fight." Was it really a jerk move, or was it just... not as helpful as it could have been? If someone in the Wasteland tells you to expect a fight, what's the first thing you think of? Raiders have to be in the top five, and raiders are kinda easy to spot at a distance, because of the whole exterior decorating thing, and they're loud, and I think that draws out an important difference compared to, say, some other faction that tends to be quiet and hard to spot.
It might be comparable to saying, "Drive carefully," when you know the roads are slick with ice, but not specifically mentioning the ice. You're sort of assuming that the recipient of the warning is competent enough to realize what they're up against as soon as they see it; the warning is just to keep them alert. (Maybe not a good example, because you can more easily figure out exactly what to be careful of in the ice example. You know it snowed; you don't see fog; next logical conclusion is ice.)
Even though this is kind of a silly, minor thing, I'm curious as to your reasoning because I didn't see it that way at all.
This is a really good story, man. Although, I would like to see Temper in later chapters, I just thought that she was a good character, the chemistry between them was very well done.
Anyway, great chapter, even greater story. I hope to see much more of this in the future.
P.S: that cliffhanger though... I can sense a teary emotional fight ensuing.
Yay an update!!
Oh. Well, uh, this is awkward.
I just went to remove the Aprils Fools chapter, and unless they're just not showing on my end, that seems to have removed all the comments that were posted on that chapter as well.
I didn't mean for that to happen.
...sorry about that. :/
Ouch. That has to be a blow to everything he's known.
At least Temper seems to like him enough to save him.
Ayy, Temper's back!
The flashback works perfectly for the ensuing chapter as it tries its best to convey tragedy, desperation, and Canvas's newfound determination to live.
In the context of the past chapters and the gradual development of Windspeed through these flashbacks, the set-up is strong enough to portray tragedy. The dialogue exchanged during the fight also helps lead the reader to believe only a sad ending can come from this encounter. Desperation is also expressed very well through the narration, even though the long paragraphs and excessive attention to every single motion hurt the pacing and the mood of the scene.
Canvas surely demonstrates determination, but his hopeless fight seems somewhat less admirable due to the sheer number of instances, during which he survives through mistakes on Windspeed's part. That these instances are intentional becomes a less believable excuse the more times they occur. This guy is part of an elite unit, who has gained the conviction over the course of the scene to show Canvas no quarter. And worse, Canvas does not even use any cunning or skills he learned from his time in the wasteland to fight back.
Overall, the whole scene is appropriately tragic through and through, yet the action is lacking in regards to what it means to convey. Nice to see this story update.
Sad to see hiatus