Fuzzy Fluffy Fables

by Fuzzyfurvert

72. Pumpkin Spice of the STARBUCKS! (mothballed)

Author's Note:

I'm mothballing this one because, like the PSL itself, the joke here is basic as fuck and played out. It was cute two years ago, but now this is a stale ass meme and I have better words to work on.

This is probably the first in a new wave of things I'll be clearing off my 'to-write' list and posting the bare bones of here.

Clang!

Clang!

Clang!

“Errg...I’m awake!”

CLANG!

“I said I’m awake, Venti!”

The cabin door opened with a hiss, light from the access ladder flooding the darkened chamber. At the threshold of the door, stood an imposing backlit figure with glowing yellow eyes and matching horn that revealed a vaguely flesh colored plastic and metal face. “I am sorry to disturb your rest, Captain Latte.”

“I told you not to.”

“Unless it was an emergency, yes.” Lights clicked on in the chamber, revealing more of the stallion-like robot, Venti4.99. He lacked any sort of mane or tail, or any coat at all, and was instead made from shaped plastic plates set on top of some sort of barebones mechanical parts with wires connecting his head to his torso were multiple small screens displayed readouts of various kinds. “I am well aware that you meant for me to not disturb you in the event of an actual emergency, but my protocols have been overridden.”

The lights in the cabin revealed a veritable rat’s nest of filthy clothing, bedding and several classifications of junk. In the middle of the mess, rising slowly from the bedding was a light brown earth pony mare with a pile of white colored curls for a mane. Captain Latte, a simple cup set against a rising sun on her flank, looked tired and in a sour mood. She glared at the robot unicorn for a long moment. “What?”

“While you rested, we received a priority communications request from HQ.” Venti tiled his head to the side. “They were very forceful about waking you.”

“Uh...what do they want?”

“To talk to you. Now.”

Pony and robot stared at each other for a moment, neither of them saying anything. Finally, Captain Chai Latte grumbled and grabbed one of the pieces of cloth off the floor and started to struggle into it. The both stepped out the door and began to float weightlessly, Venti leading the way down the ladder toward a far hatchway.

Minutes later, the captain was dressed and holding onto a hoof-perch in front of a large screen while Venti magnetically attached itself to the floor grates and opened one plastic hoof to connect to a bank of terminals. As soon as he was connected, the screen flashed to life, showing a green logo before an older stallion in more traditionally naval uniform appeared.

“Captain Latte.”

“Admiral Frap.”

“Let me get right to it, captain. I had your crew wake you because you’ve been assigned a new crew member.” Admiral Frap leaned forward into the camera’s view. “This is effective immediately.”

“New crew?” Latte arched an eyebrow and nodded at her companion. “I already have Venti. What more do I need? Why not send this crew over to the next ship? We already overlap each other’s patrol territory.”

“You ship needs it.”

“But why my ship?” Latte frown, leaning closer to her screen. “There’s a ship at every corner of galaxy, why does it have to be mine?”

“It’s temporary, captain. She’ll only be with you for a season. Surely you won’t get sick of her before that?”

Captain Latte rubbed her face with her hoof, muttering into it. “That depends…” She sighed, shaking her head and frowned at the admiral. “When do I need to pick her up?”

“No need to put in, she’s already in route to you.”

“What?”

“Captain, far proximity sensors have picked up a small shuttle on a rendezvous course. It is starting to match speed and spin.” Venti4.99 chimed in emotionlessly as he pressed a series of buttons on one terminal.

“Oh come on, Frap!” Latte slammed her free hoof into an exposed bulkhead.

“It’s non-negotiable, Chai. Remember, it’s just for the season.” Admiral Frap nodded and the screen went dark as the signal died.

Several warning claxons started to beep and wheeze through the deck speakers as the shuttle hurtled closer to the ship, the robotic stallion turning them off one by one. Chai Latte huffed to herself and finally pushed herself toward the access hatch. “Let it dock, Venti. At least we get a new shuttle out of the deal.”

“Where are you going, Captain?”

“To meet this new crew temp. I swear, this seems to happen every year. We’re doing just fine out here and then HQ thinks they can change things up and everypony is just going to love it and love us more.” Captain Latte opened the hatch and slipped out into the narrow ladder way, the ship’s spin slowly pulling her down and away from the command deck.

“To be fair, Captain, it usually works in the long run.”

“I just don’t like fads, Venti. Heat me up a pot of coffee while I’m gone, okay?”

Chai let the ship’s centrifugal spin take her most of the way down, reaching out with one hoof to control and slow her descent as she reached the outer ring. She hit the wall with all four hooves and trotted over to the shuttle dock, watching the indicator lights flip over from yellow to green.

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

An amusing concept, but I can see why you poured this one down the sink.