Fuzzy Fluffy Fables

by Fuzzyfurvert

73. Sunset Shimmer In Another World Seduces The Entire Dungeon With A Smoldering Look One Orc At A Time (Mothballed)

Author's Note:

This was originally conceptualized for the Sunset Shimmer contest back in August of 2018. The theme was 'journey' and I was knee deep in working on multiple DnD campaigns as well as helping my wife plot a novel of her own and things just kinda bled over into this. I wanted to make a joke about both Isekai anime and DnD at the same time and it just wasn't working out. Plus, now that I think about it, you'd need a bit more than just a passing knowledge of both those things to really get the joke...

So you can see why this one is also going the way of 4e and never being spoken of again.

Birds chirped in the forest, under a shady canopy of full green leaves. Below them, a stream burbled and splashed, chatting with itself though the mid-day while fish braved the whirlpools between rounded river stones. The conversation flowed until it reached cooler, quieter, depths of a pool where deer would stop to drink once the sun reached the edges of the sharp mountains on the horizon.

Sunset Shimmer adjusted her crimson breastplate, gripping the gold-trimmed bottom edge of the shaped metal until it sat on her perfectly. She checked her matching tight leather under armor, until she was certain it wasn’t bunching up uncomfortably at her elbows or in her armpits. Her cloak was properly clasped. Her satchel pack closed, belts buckled and tall boots pulled up to her knees. Her trusty rounded shield rested against her leg, by her side, as she tossed her hair back and checked out her reflection in the pool of water she’d chosen to rest by.

She looked good. Sunset smiled at her reflection, giving herself a saucy wink like some runway model crossed with a flamethrower. Woe betide whatever poor monsters stood in her way on this day. It was a quest that brought her out to this idyllic scene with promises of riches and fame, and by the gods, both would be hers before the sky matched her name.

Sunset looked back up, across the pond toward a mound of moss covered stones that poorly concealed a shoddy wooden door. The door blocked the entrance to some underground layer wherein she would find her greatness. “Let’s get started.” She lifted her shield and started around the pond, skirting the edge of the water and scanning her surroundings for threats.

Wait, just a shield? Didn’t you bring a weapon? Let me see your sheet.

“No.” Sunset smirked, picking up her pace to leap over the narrow part of the stream and approach the door to the dark recesses below her feet. “Don’t worry about it, I’m ready for anything, trust me.”

“Oh really?” A growly voice came out from behind the rock pile. “Yo ready for dis?”

Sunset came to a halt, raising her shield defensively as a green skinned humanoid stepped into her view. It was covered in rough, mismatched pieces of chainmail and hides, and was holding a twisted, gnarled piece of wood that looked as thick as a stump. The orc adjusted its thick rimmed glasses and hefted its club in both hands. “Dis as far as yer go, intruder!”

The orc rushed Sunset, long purple hail trailing behind it as it closed and swung its club at her head. Sunset grit her teeth and raise her shield to meet the mighty blow. The impact rang through the forest, silencing the birds, but all it did was force Sunset to take a half step back. She smirked and took a peek over the edge of her raised shield. “So, is this a male, or female, orc?”

“Uh…” the orc looked down at itself, unsure as the thunder of dice rolled in the background, “...male?”

“On a scale of one to ten, how attractive is he?” Sunset puckered her lips and blew the orc a kiss as she shoved off the club her shield was holding at bay. There was more thunder. Sunset smiled and used her free hand to sweep her hair out of her face and tuck her bangs back behind her horns, for the gods had rolled a solid seven out of ten. “Hey, handsome.”

The orc, even more unsure of itself, fell back. “W-wot?”

Sunset pressed her advantage, shifting forward right into the orc’s face. She leaned in, lowering her voice to a husky whisper and using her skill at persuasion. “You’re looking especially beefy today. Been hitting the racks with your orc buds? I bet it must get boring out here, standing guard with nothing to do. But lucky you, today I came along.”

“W-wot?” The orc repeated, green cheeks starting to turn red. “How iz 'dat lucky?”

“Because today you get a hot...wet...long…” with each word, Sunset leaned in closer to the orc’s face, “...kiss!” She reached out and grabbed the orc by the hides that made up its armor and pulled it into a tight liplock. The orc, on its initiative, struggled weakly against Sunset before succumbing to her powerful technique and going blissfully slack in Sunset’s successful grapple. Sunset guided the flushed, mewling, orc gently to the forest floor. Laying him in the soft grass she stood back up and used her tail to re-straighten his askew glasses. Then she lightly stepped over the guy, and pulled open the door the orc had guarded.

A dark earthen ramp yawned before her.

Did you at least bring a torch or lantern?

“Don’t need one.” Sunset chuckled, her blue eyes flashing as the universe realized she had the ability to see in the dark. At least for about sixty feet or so. With nothing else standing in way of her awaiting wealth and fame, Sunset descended.

---

“I need a drink.” Twilight announced without preamble. She pushed her seat back from the kitchen table and leaned back dangerously. She caught the table with the toe of her shoe to keep from crashing to the linoleum, and fiddled with the smooth side of an aluminum can until the soda walked itself into her hand.

“Snag me one too.”

Twilight grunted her compliance and reached for a second can. The remaining members of the six pack sat, unfortunately, beyond her fingertips. She squinted at the nearest one until a vague, purple, glow surrounded the can and hauled it along with her back to the table. She passed the second can to Sunset and popped the tab on her own to take a heavy pull. “Ahh! That hits the spot.”

“Thanks, Twi.” Sunset smirked, running her finger around the ridge of her drink. Her hair was still up in the complicated bun, run through with chopsticks, from her late shift at the Sushi Shack. She was still wearing her uniform too, though she had kicked off her shoes right before sitting down at the table.

“No problem, Sunset. I think I could manage to get you some ice from here too.” Twilight giggled, kicking her feet as she looked over her shoulder at the fridge in the kitchen. “I’ve been practicing with my magic, so it probably won’t send ice cubes everywhere this time, if I’m careful.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Sunset arched her back in her chair, groaning as she stretched tired limbs worn from hours of waiting tables. “Really, I meant the game. I’m sorry my schedule change keeps me from playing with the rest of the girls. I appreciate you running a solo game for me, Twi.”

Twilight waved her hand dismissively, taking a measured sip. “Better than just hand waving why your character remained the same level as the rest of the party.” She raised an eyebrow and leaned forward toward Sunset to peek at the sheet of paper that held a scrawl of points, stats, bonuses, and fluff. “Speaking of which...I still haven’t actually seen your character sheet…”

Sunset pressed the fingers of her free hand on the paper, sliding it outside of Twilight’s reach. “Don’t worry, it’s all legal. Everything is printed first party content, no internet homebrew-y shenanigans.” She winked at Twilight over her soda, purring out her next statement. “I promise.”

“As your DM,” Twilight cleared her throat, “I’m suspicious. As your girlfriend, I’m highly suspicious!” She sighed, reaching for her dice and telekinetically moving Sunset’s character miniature down her hand-drawn map to the upper level of the dungeon. “I’m fairly confident that even at your level, this isn’t going to be a cakewalk, my dear.”

Sunset chuckled, sweeping her own dice up with the wave of her hand. “We’ll see about that, Miss-memorized-the-monster-manual-for-the-last-three-editions-of-the-rules.”

“That’s not true.” Twilight sniffed, lifting her nose into the air sharply. “Fourth edition doesn’t count.”

---

Sunset creeped forward through the narrow halls of the dungeon. There was no light, her otherworldly vision rendering the place in shades of grey like modern military nightvision, but without the bulky headpiece. It was all blocky stone, the walls rough and the floor covered in a thin layer of spread straw. The water from the pool and stream above was seeping in, dripping down the walls in little rivlets, making puddles that her boots slashed in.

The smell was best not described.

Sunset rankled her nose for the dozenth time and paused when the shape of a door frame materialized out of the murk. She stopped and took a moment to check the straps on her shield. “I listen first,” she whispered to herself and the universe at large, “before checking the door.” Besides the drip of the water and the clatter dice, the place was silent as a tomb.

Rolling her eyes, Sunset ventured forward. “I am trying to be quiet.” Her boot chose that exact moment to start squeaking with each step, her armor clanking and rattling like a rollercoaster on its way to the first peak. “As if I wasn’t at enough of a disadvantage doing this solo…”

That’s medium armors for you, Sunny. Rules are rules.

Sunset huffed, inching towards the doorway. “Can’t you break the rules? Just this once? I’ll do the dishes afterwards.” The universe, which is completely unbiased, decided to turn down the armor rattling a smidge. Sunset smiled and blew a kiss into the air before she finally reached the doorway and peeked inside the room. It looked about ten feet to a side, the same stone walls and semi-wet floor, though there was a table by one wall with an assortment of orcish equipment set on it for quick equipping should some lone adventurer trip the alarm. The other end of the room held another doorway and a proper door to match, the wood thick and showing only a little bit of mold around the iron rivets that held it together.

Ignoring the shoddy looking equipment, Sunset scanned the room for real loot, but no amount of pleading or promises of favors made gold pop out of the walls. Out of luck so far on the riches part of her stated goal, Sunset walked over to the door and tried the heavy iron handle. Luckily for her, it didn’t seem to be either locked, or trapped. Somewhat unfortunately, there was an orc on the other side of it. Sunset blinked, her hand on the door. The orc blinked back at her behind those glasses, a toothy grin spreading over its face as it brought up a spear.

“‘Ello ‘ello.”

“Uh…” Sunset coughed politely, “goodbye?” Then she slammed the door shut again, blocking the spear aimed at her gut. She took a step back, raising her arms defensively. “Thank the rules for cover bonuses. So...you know the drill.”

What?

“You know.” Sunset smirked again, licking her lips as eldritch power started to course its way through her veins. “Roll those bones! This guy a looker?”

Ugh, again? Also, who are you to assume that this orc is male too? The universe rolled for it. Okay, so it is male again…

The door crashed open. Dice danced across the table. Spear glanced off shield. Green muscle met red and gold armor in the middle as a blast of arcane magic flared. When the afterimages cleared from her vision, Sunset found herself flat on her back, a heavy (if only a five out of ten) mountain of an orc over her on its knees, spear-free hand resting gently on her sculpted breastplate.

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Aww, I wanted to see where you'd go with this. The concept seems like a lot of fun... though I do have background knowledge in the areas you mentioned.

[nemryn]

I don't even know what "Isekai anime" is, and I got it.

Also, I'm putting the over/under for "number of orcs before Sunset just starts making out with Twilight directly" at 6.5.

[horizon]

9417417
I'm gonna have to lowball you on that one. Four tops — which is to say, my over-under's a small smidge over 3.0.