The Crusade

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A young stallion is off to fight the scourge of Celestia and Luna, Dragons. What shall he learn on this journey? (A One Shot, based on the song "The Crusade" by Voltaire.)

It's a good song.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

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Politicalunrest2400

Politicalunrest2400 #1 · Mar 1st, 2015 · · ·

This was pretty good. There were some continuity issues, and a few grammar problems, which could easily be fixed and would make the story much more readable.
I would encourage you to print The story out and go over it with a red pen. We tend as writers to miss some mistakeswhen proofreading our own work on the medium that we craft it in. Printing it out will give you a new perspective and a roadmap to improve the story. Overall The story has a great moral, and is worth reading. Though before I can give it an official review on my blog I would prefer a little more proofreading so I can give as highany score as I can! I truly loved the theme and the characters, keep up the good work!

Blondlionezel