• Member Since 18th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 6th, 2016

zxcvsaw

Look out mlp fim, here i come!

zxcvsaw Joined 18th Apr, 2012 · Offline

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A pony awakens in a strange prison in a strange land with nothing except a few fleeting memories. But through the broken bars of the only window in his cell, he notices that the sun is fading and the air is chilling...
Chapters (4)
Incomplete Published: Feb 24th, 2015 Download
2,857 words
Comments ( 8 )
ImYourDestiny
ImYourDestiny #1 · Feb 24th, 2015 · · · Chapter 1 - Embers ·
Reply

:rainbowderp:
I'm surprised how well written this is. I hope you'll make some more soon. :pinkiehappy:

ImYourDestiny
ImYourDestiny #3 · Feb 28th, 2015 · · · Chapter 3 - Violent Hearts ·
Reply

Awesome!
I'm just a bit confused on how those afflicted guards died. :derpytongue2: Anyway keep it up. :pinkiehappy:

zxcvsaw
zxcvsaw #4 · Mar 1st, 2015 · · · Chapter 3 - Violent Hearts ·
Reply

5680434 Interesting, I thought I left enough clues on how they were killed.

ImYourDestiny
ImYourDestiny #5 · Mar 1st, 2015 · · · Chapter 3 - Violent Hearts ·
Reply

5684803

He felt like he was being torn apart, based on the sudden jerks that felt on all about, and his mind kept on going in circles about that happy spot of sun that he used to look at constantly in his prison cell which always got punctured by that fucking burst of red and he felt mad because they were tearing him apart or was he mad because the red punctured the sun or it just didn't matter at all he was angry, mad, enraged, savaged, saddened, scared, feared, and thoughts thoughts thoughts just trying to overwhelm him and he thought he was going crazy and and and and
Then he found a crack.
In the chaotic maelstrom that formed his mind, he felt a slight bulge in his consciousness. He saw a strange, archaic rune blocking his path and tried to push through it. It offered more resistance than he thought. He took his horn and stabbed the rune a little bit harder. A little crack tinkled in the abyss. He pushed and pushed and pushed through with a desperation that surprised even him and finally he broke through!
He looked around in the receding haze of red that dotted his vision. The garden...he was back at the garden. His horn felt like it was burning and when he tried to find the Afflicted guards, he only saw charred piles of flesh that didn't resemble anything pony-like.
He looked down at the ground. It was scorched beyond belief.

:applejackunsure:
I still don't get it :P

zxcvsaw
zxcvsaw #6 · Mar 1st, 2015 · · · Chapter 3 - Violent Hearts ·
Reply

5684870 Can you guess what is going on? I'm kind of interested to see what you actually got from this scene.

ImYourDestiny
ImYourDestiny #7 · Mar 1st, 2015 · · · Chapter 3 - Violent Hearts ·
Reply

So in my simply simple mind he is being attacked. Then he is imagining the sun but it is covered by red as he's being attacked. He is confused why he is angry. He trys to open a door that is covered by a rune, all the while being attacked and when he opens it with his horn and suddenly all the guards die. So I'm thinking: What? :derpytongue2:

zxcvsaw
zxcvsaw #8 · Mar 1st, 2015 · · · Chapter 3 - Violent Hearts ·
Reply

5684982 I guess I was too vague. Basically, what happens is that a good portion of it takes place in his mind. In his rage, he conjures a spell that blasts the guards. Thanks for the feedback tho!

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