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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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is this what i think it is?!
edit: also; first! (i finally got one! )
Haven't read it yet but I will, the intro makes a bad first impression though.
when Twilight gets hurt really bad fighting off and Ursa Major, Luna does something drastic and does something she hadn't done since before the Banishment.
a single decision to save the life of a loved one leads to an adventure, and old foe turns friend?
TwiLuna
Needs capital letters at the start, off "an" ursa major, and "an" old foe. Needs a few edits.
THAT PIC IS WHAT DREW ME IN CONSIDERED READ.
545253 that depends on what you think it is 545275 thanks for telling me, I'll fix that up 545288 found it on google images, its the story
Why does twilight always end up becoming a vampony?
Honestly i am genuinely surprised that she hasnt become a vampony yet in Blood is thicker than freindship
why she had not asked Spike to send a letter?
this would be a lot faster
ad thus a new imortal was born into the world of equestia
545317
we talked about you writing a twi vampony fic a short while ago, remember?
545339 well I was inspired by 'The Vampony Chronicles' and she's the only one I really see making the vampire thing work without making sort of a mary sue or the dreaded sparkler story (A.K.A. the twilight saga)
545345 Perhaps my friend, Perhaps
545353 oh yeah in the comments of that one story in that case yes it most certainly is!
545370
yay! im gonna dig into this as soon as i finish the epilogue of the story im reading right now
545378 chapter two will be out momentarily
545383
already?! you a damn industrial printing machine or something?
545317 works for me
545410 Hearts and Nightmares had five chapters on the first day, I type really fast and that coupled with a quick mind = quick chapters. of course it's going to slow down once i start giving my other stories attention again though, but for now speedy mc speed writer mode is on!
545432 *fits the story
545439
well, if you can type that fast and keep the idea's flowing; the pace cant slow down to badly, i mean; i know of some stories which i literally have to re-read every time it updates because the pace is so damn slow
545345
huh. i really dont care seeing as were in equestRIA and not equesTIA.
Since you said your writing more chapters I'll hold back from posting the typos, none of them are to major anyways and I think only one made me reread the sentence. Good story so far. A little fast paced but given the situation it's acceptable. Just be sure that future chapters are properly paced.
545475
quite the smartass arnt ya
Fuck yes! Another twilight vampony fic! *hoofpump*
545495 that's always been a bit of a problem for me...pacing is weird in my mind, and the typos are my laptop autocorrect thingy being stupid and the fact that I wrote half of it on the bus...yeah 545600 lol, it took like an hour to find that cover pic...almost no fanart whatsoever
"Spike go downstairs and wait until I call you, this won't be hard to watch." I ithink you mean that it won't be easy to watch or that it'll be hard to watch.
TwiLuna has been more popular lately, good. This story is epic so far, the 'Vampire Twilight Sparkle' is like some sort of trend, It's a good mix but makes me think of a different Twilight.. which should never... never! be mentioned here.
545370
Aww it's too bad that my story didn't make it into your brain to inspire you to make something like this. Truth is... I was planning on making a story very close to what you have here. It was going to be something of a "what-if" story that branches off my original line (after I was finished with it).
I wonder just how much this story will unfold... I'll be waiting!
The narration seems way to fast at the moment, slow down a bit, let the readers breath. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png
Another vampire mlp story?
1.bp.blogspot.com/-YX-NUnuDdxY/Tl6gU-MfPwI/AAAAAAAAAWc/RCemx0vPhuY/s1600/oh-boy-here-we-go.jpg
totally like it though
"No tiem to argue"
i sence a misspelling
There are a lot of typos that use the same letters but means different such as "form" instead of "from" and "tiem" instead of "time"
If it's some kind of autocorrect you can always turn it of and do it manually, it's likely easier to read aswell if you do that
please please in the future be a tad bit more descriptve in the story, it helps flush out details and makes it so that the story doesnt seem a bit rushed. aside from that you should try to pace yourself plot wise.
545288
The NEW pic is what drew me in considering reading it.
Here, have a more accurate image source link: http://ponykillerx.deviantart.com/art/The-Soul-Hunter-301412189 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
545340 True
It probably would have been set aside for later, after all a peace treaty is more important than someone else's lesson on friendship.
I just realized something, if it is one of her friends that turn it will be a twilight fic, but if she turned it would still be a twilight vampire fic
and I sound like an idiot.
ou'll be getting help from the Guard and the Princesses now go! No tiem =(time) to argue, ponies could get hurt!
magic form =(from) the shield, causing it to convulse. Twilight used the remaining magic form =(from) the shield
“Spike go downstairs and wait until I call you, this won't =(will) be hard to watch.
all of you
i found the theme song for this story
like it fav it listen before every chapter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JrLRawqcbA&feature=related
Hey dark.... I don't want to sound like an asshole, but this first chapter does not leave a good impression. It's just.... I mean...
Please don't hate me!
Like a few comments before said, this chapter gives a bad first impression. Also, why does Twilight use RD to warn the Princess and not let Spike send a letter? If I had to guess it's cause the Princess sleeps, thus discovers the letter when it's to late. But maybe there has to be one sentence about it in the story. Something like:
This also ties nicely to the next few sentences where she tries to convince RD. Also, I found a small mistake but it's easy to correct...
Was very excited to start reading the story.
Open first chapter.
See this:
*Facepalm*
Close chapter.
This is a bit fast paced
4073716 it could do with a re write but in all honesty i doubt thats going to happen unless somebody else does the rewriting it shouldnt be all that hard what with the entire story finish to add extra descriptive details
can't help but feel like twilight fus ro dah'ed the ursa lol
Story wise, it looks interesting.
Everything else, though...
Grammar, spelling, a serious lack of 'show, don't tell', and the pacing of this make it annoying to read.
I'm out. Good job for getting to 700 likes (pretty much), but I can't read this unless it gets a serious going-over. Also, someone put this into a Twilunestia group/folder, even though you said it was only Twiluna. That's not your fault, but it is someone's.
7069048
Whole heartedly agreed. This feels like a green text story
>look at time
>four Am
>hear sound
>sounds like ursa major
No offence but this entire thing seems like it was written by someone for whom english is a second language.
Just a few errors I found in this chap.