- Member Since 26th Nov, 2013
- offline last seen Saturday
Ryuku the Creative
This smile isn't stapled on. Or is it?
Ryuku the Creative
Joined 26th Nov, 2013 ·
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- Ryuku the Creative · 1.3k words · 18 6 · 284 views
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Eh.....what just happened? Ether way, they deserve what's coming....maybe...
5560077 It's a random idea so pretty much she's gonna be killing alot of fillies and colts.
5560129
yay.
5560165 I swear, the people who read my stuff are more sick than me.
5560197 I've read some dark shit on this website. So yeah, I love to read horror, gore, and dark things.
5560207
Fair enough
This story is interesting lol. Moar.
5560207 And my shadowy brother returns lol
5560430 Thanks.
5560430
i don't think we've met, I'm Zeheal. His dark thoughts
I hate you Zeheal.
i've been quiet for you. So for once, you shut up.
5560438 I don't think your warning applies to me. Since I'm the only one to upvote your story so far
5560442 Oh hi. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, my dark and gloomy friend
5560443 True but they're usually the ones who hate it because of the content and not the actual story for some reason.
5560462 The content was hilarious. Right when snails said boobs I was laughing. Then when Cheerilee broke his neck I was rolling on the floor dying
That was dark but freaking hilarious for some reason. Damn there is something wrong with me
5560544 Might have been the twist grade part, or the boob part, or her killing Snails first.
5560533 Seriously?! Atleast I know I can write dark comedy
5560558 I am a sick and twisted individual
5560583
s2.quickmeme.com/img/7f/7fa6b0be9d5614e6e8aa57089f47c718ec462a462188bb1b058a1456cfd02d12.jpg
5560753 And your name intrigues me...
cdn.alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/happy-yes-l.png
5560837
oh my
5560892
Aw she's gonna kill 'em?! Damn, I read the entire story wrong up until that point! Man...the title...the fact that she's lonely and desperate...I was really looking forward to some disturbing "I'ma rape the funk outta you" stuff. Also the description! You said disturbing, so I had it figured for more than another massacre story. Oh well
Time to continue my search for stories that will leave all who are involved scarred for life (assuming they live). Good luck with your butcher story
5566160 No offense but there will be more than murder in the story, hence why there's more than one chapter. I just hate Snips and Snails and since I started with Snails first... I killed him off... or not. The thing is she is desperate for love, I just didn't want to show it on the first chapter. Most of my stories are only one chapter long. If you do decide to stick around, there will be lots more than simple butchery... Now that I think about it, she just snapped his neck
5566171 To be honest I'm the type of person who doesn't like to wait unless the story is top quality. No offense meant at all, but this is far from it. It's not bad, maybe it needs work, but I've read a lot of inferior stories. What I qualify as top quality is something that starts out with a true promise of greatness. The building up of a good character, accurate representations of canon ones, enough details to let me picture a world but not too many that I get annoyed, etc. If this story was all one chapter (or had already been fully released) maybe I'd read the rest. However, if there's one thing I need to be honest about, it's this...
those are totally implants
5566204 I'll say this, thanks for the honesty, it's hard to improve on a story when you get downvotes yet no one will tell you why, also I won't say since she might kill me
5566221 Hey though, remember that every story creates a world of its own. Some are more vivid than others, some are bigger, but remember that though Mars is neither vivid nor very big in comparison to Earth it is still a world of it's own that serves its own importance. Keep creating Mars, and maybe one day you'll create Earth.
5566235
Thanks friend. I'll keep that in mind, though one thing strikes me as odd, you're philosophical with explaining how writing should be... and yet your avatar is a pic of Chrysalis. Again no offense it's just odd and kinda funny.
5566260 I've never really noticed the irony in it. However, I'm not always philosophical, either. Just like anyone else (especially with the guise of the internet) I can also be stupid and brash. In all honesty, though, I do kinda admire Chrysalis for her intelligence in planning (though she needs to work on her acting), so I guess the picture can be a representation of that.
5566297
Good choice
"I guess you could say I deserve to rot in the Everfree Forest for my actions. I guess you could say I deserve to be banished for my actions as a teacher. And I guess you could say that no matter what, nopony will respect me again after what I did."
Hey that's like my situation (on fimfic) in a nutshell
.
If your doing 1st person, you don't need commas when that charater isn't directly speaking to somepony. Overall not to many errors and I hope to see more work from you. It get's a like.
5789345 Thanks for the critique though it's more like a monologue than a first person view but I'll keep that in mind ^ ^
5789350 No problem and ok that makes sence. I wasn't sure at first so sorry if I was wrong.
5789371 It's alright. Nice guess though ^ ^
5789380 This sure as hell beat 60% of my fanfics (counting incomplete stories)
5789389 How, your fanfics are good as well
You plan on continuing this piece?
5888718 Yeah, I have a few ideas I want to try on the story.
5888723 Gotcha. Kind of confused though that if she was supposed to hit on those two then why would she kill one of em?
5888730 Well rhe story is till rough but it'll be told why once I move along with it
5888745 Got it. Try to get an editor too just to be safe of any grammatical errors.
5891732 Good idea ^ ^
5891824 What other madness type's do you have?
5895412 All of my stories are creepy or disturbing
5895439 Nice. Though do you plan on continuing this man? It hasn't been touched since the beginning of the year.
6678329 I do, I just need to make a schedule now that I work
6678991 I gotcha. Six days of the week myself.
6678991 Hopefully she doesn't hurt Pipsqueak, he is one of my favorite characters.
6958964 She makes no promises
6960362 Fair enough