• Member Since 11th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen Jan 14th, 2015

SuperRainbowDash


Me Im a bony that is awesome at drawing ad doesnt care what other people think about me

T

Its not everyday you get transported to Equestria... wait never mind any way my name is mike and I went to Equestria How did i get here? Why am i here? Why me? Do i want to stay here or not? oh well maybe the princesses can find out. But I got a little visit from somepony Whom you may ask read and find out

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )

My name is Mike I'm 7 and a half feet tall I have Snow white hair that is in a pony tail i'm in my house right now just watching TV.

This story just went from zero to retard in only five seconds.

But I got a little visit from somepony Whom you may ask read and find out

Just based on reading your story description, I have two pieces of advice for you:
- Learn how to capitalize properly.
- Learn how to punctuate properly.

Before I get into the story, take Elric's advice and edit this before posting. Or get an editor. Also,

My name is Mike and I went to Equestria - Bad description i know

Then fix it.

My name is Mike I'm 7 and a half feet tall I have Snow white hair that is in a pony tail i'm in my house right now just watching TV. Im brony that's why i have no friends after I told i loved the show they called me weird and walked away.

This feels like a self-insert. Is this a self-insert?

this is the first time i have ever confused i put a hand on the mirror

Why? Shouldn't you call the police? The military? The SCP Foundation? Oh, right, the plot.

"Oh well" i said

Really, not, "Holy shit, my only known connection to home is destroyed! I could be on an alien planet with no food, shelter, or any common living necessities!

as i walked out of the everfree forest

How did you know it was the Everfree Forest? Also, aren't there, I don't know, dangerous monsters in there?

Twilight's eyes widened "OH MY GOSH A REAL HUMAN" she screamed

What's a human? Care to explain how Twilight stumbled across this information?

. "Your name is Twilight i know you and your five other friends are the elements of harmony Rainbow dash is loyalty Apple jack is honesty Pinkie pie is laughter Fluttershy is kindness Rarity is generosity" i said then stopped to catch a breath "Then there's you Twilight sparkle brother of Shining armor sister (in law) to Princess cadence Personal student to Princess Celestia and the element of magic" i said bluntly.

Are witch burnings canon in Equestria? Because I think a creature with extreme telekinetic powers should be considered a threat to national security? Don't you?

she quickly tried to mask the fact that she was scared

Why? She's God-horse. She can blast away if things get dangerous.

This story is very cliche. Depressed self-insert goes to Equestria and his life is better. At least he didn't turn into his Alicorn OC.

Im brony

Hi brony, Im guy.

that's why i have no friends

Well, I can't blame them. You are a brony after all.

after I told i loved the show they called me weird and walked away.

They called you weird and walked away? Oh my, the ultimate diss.

I didn't care if I died its not like anyone would care anyways

No one likes Mary Sue the generic, white-haired giant? I wonder why.

I walked in the forest Its the only place I get peace

*and quiet as I slash the throats of stray dogs and spray their warm blood over my body.

I picked up a rock and threw it at it it went threw the mirror the rock went right threw it.

How's your speech impediment making it through the computer?

"Can I come in" i asked

"Oh sure" twilight said

Twilight confirmed for whore.

Why is Egghead Mary Sue letting giant Mary Sue inside of her house without even asking him a question?

And ignoring Twilight's lack of intelligence for a second, how did Mary Sue walk all the way from the Everfree Forest to Twilight's library without fighting a Manticore?

I mean that's a feat all in itself in your typical HiE.

Celestia looked like she saw the sun being put out with water her jaw dropped

Okay. Well that's as far as I'm willing to go reading this. Your story plays out like the regular self-insert and honestly people don't want to read about another misanthrope having an epik adventurd against da evil changenlinks and waifu-fagging.

If you even care about getting better, I'd keep this up for a few hours so that someone can actually come by with some advice to help you. Then take it down and work on it.

5504641 I know it's probably a trollfic, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt or at least give them a laugh at my gullibility.

5504661

Me Im a bony that is awesome at drawing ad doesnt care what other people think about me

And his/her account only been up for a few days.... That just given me red flags right there...

5504694 I never bothered to check when the account was made. :twilightsheepish: I'll remember that.

Obvious trollfic. Fail.

Congratulations, troll/moron. You have created a story that even a 2nd grader would say is bad. Tear it down, rework it utterly.

I swear that one like is the author's.

Chapter one title.

How did you know that

Completely lacking a question mark first off, doesn't even have proper capitalization for a chapter title.
Lack of capitalization in the story itself.

"Snow white hair"
*closes tab*
Well that was a load of shit.

Well let's see why this got so may downvotes

*reads*

*stops to cringe*

*continues*

Yeah you need to refine your skills bro

I instinctively disliked this fic for obvious reasons. Problem is, I didn't even want to acknowledge its existence by doing this. Great, so now I can't even take the dislike back and pretend I never spent the time reading this for whatever reason.


I blame Vladimir Putin.

Well, this needs to stop.

5522638

I blame Vladimir Putin.

s2.quickmeme.com/img/19/199fc1991d79d23592e4d467d3fd605721d7f238e9ffabc68e558542819e9a85.jpg
Don't feel bad for acknowledging a bad story.



EDIT: Oh, wait. No. No no no no no no no. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry I read this.
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