Its not everyday you get transported to Equestria... wait never mind any way my name is mike and I went to Equestria How did i get here? Why am i here? Why me? Do i want to stay here or not? oh well maybe the princesses can find out. But I got a little visit from somepony Whom you may ask read and find out
This story just went from zero to retard in only five seconds.
Just based on reading your story description, I have two pieces of advice for you:
- Learn how to capitalize properly.
- Learn how to punctuate properly.
Before I get into the story, take Elric's advice and edit this before posting. Or get an editor. Also,
Then fix it.
This feels like a self-insert. Is this a self-insert?
Why? Shouldn't you call the police? The military? The SCP Foundation? Oh, right, the plot.
Really, not, "Holy shit, my only known connection to home is destroyed! I could be on an alien planet with no food, shelter, or any common living necessities!
How did you know it was the Everfree Forest? Also, aren't there, I don't know, dangerous monsters in there?
What's a human? Care to explain how Twilight stumbled across this information?
Are witch burnings canon in Equestria? Because I think a creature with extreme telekinetic powers should be considered a threat to national security? Don't you?
Why? She's God-horse. She can blast away if things get dangerous.
This story is very cliche. Depressed self-insert goes to Equestria and his life is better. At least he didn't turn into his Alicorn OC.
Hi brony, Im guy.
Well, I can't blame them. You are a brony after all.
They called you weird and walked away? Oh my, the ultimate diss.
No one likes Mary Sue the generic, white-haired giant? I wonder why.
*and quiet as I slash the throats of stray dogs and spray their warm blood over my body.
How's your speech impediment making it through the computer?
Twilight confirmed for whore.
Why is Egghead Mary Sue letting giant Mary Sue inside of her house without even asking him a question?
And ignoring Twilight's lack of intelligence for a second, how did Mary Sue walk all the way from the Everfree Forest to Twilight's library without fighting a Manticore?
I mean that's a feat all in itself in your typical HiE.
Okay. Well that's as far as I'm willing to go reading this. Your story plays out like the regular self-insert and honestly people don't want to read about another misanthrope having an epik adventurd against da evil changenlinks and waifu-fagging.
If you even care about getting better, I'd keep this up for a few hours so that someone can actually come by with some advice to help you. Then take it down and work on it.
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/forest-whitaker-eye.jpg
5504175
5503862
5503445
5503355
5503316
5503309
"sigh"
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/583/048/4bf.png
5504641 I know it's probably a trollfic, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt or at least give them a laugh at my gullibility.
5504661
And his/her account only been up for a few days.... That just given me red flags right there...
5504694 I never bothered to check when the account was made. I'll remember that.
Obvious trollfic. Fail.
Congratulations, troll/moron. You have created a story that even a 2nd grader would say is bad. Tear it down, rework it utterly.
I swear that one like is the author's.
Chapter one title.
Completely lacking a question mark first off, doesn't even have proper capitalization for a chapter title.
Lack of capitalization in the story itself.
"Snow white hair"
*closes tab*
Well that was a load of shit.
Well let's see why this got so may downvotes
*reads*
*stops to cringe*
*continues*
Yeah you need to refine your skills bro
I instinctively disliked this fic for obvious reasons. Problem is, I didn't even want to acknowledge its existence by doing this. Great, so now I can't even take the dislike back and pretend I never spent the time reading this for whatever reason.
I blame Vladimir Putin.
Well, this needs to stop.
5522638
s2.quickmeme.com/img/19/199fc1991d79d23592e4d467d3fd605721d7f238e9ffabc68e558542819e9a85.jpg
Don't feel bad for acknowledging a bad story.
EDIT: Oh, wait. No. No no no no no no no. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry I read this.
static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11114/111141557/3869766-2167595888-35680.jpg
reactiongifs.com/r/bmh.gif