I Do

by Gear Writer

When The Sunsets

Twilight had a nervous look on her face while pacing in circles around the library it's been a few months since her and Rainbow Dash started dating. Rainbow had suddenly asked to sleep over and talk, she requested to do so with out spike here.

With an occasional glance from the clock to Spike Twilight starts speaking " Okay Spike you ready to go sleep over at Rarity's house?" restarting her pacing " Do you have every thing you need like blanket, pillow, tooth brush, and your teddy?"

Spike to ecstatic to notice Twilight's nervousness " Check, check, check, and check Twilight." the little love struck dragon ready to go down stairs " Thanks again Twilight for doing for me and good luck with Rainbow Dash." He goes down stairs reaching for the door talking to himself about Rarity and watching the cutie mark crusaders, too love struck to notice anything.

Note to self thank Rarity for doing her this favor when her spring fashion line's dead line is coming up.

Twilight stops in mid circle and looks down stairs to check if Spike had left. With a little sigh she turns around heading towards the studies. "Okay Twilight you've got thirty minutes left before Rainbow Dash comes, better get ready for tonight." That's when Twilight hears a knocking on the door down stairs, she teleports down stairs to the main part of the library to open the front door.

She opens the door to see Rainbow Dash hovering in the air and greet her " Hey Rainbow your just on time" with another look at the clock "okay maybe be not your early but I'm already and prepared so let's head up."

Rainbow Dash enters the library closing the door behind her " Hey Twilight, thanks for letting me come over." with a slight hint of nervousness in her voice.

Twilight turns around heading towards the stairs " No problem Rainbow it's always to pleasure o have you over."

Walking up into the second floor Rainbow puts a basket down on a table turning her attention back to Twilight " I have something planned for us tonight."

Twilight turns to her and says nervously " Ah, umm... What have you planned for us tonight Rainbow."

Rainbow Dash flies down to land on her hooves and snuggles into Twilight " I've brought a picnic basket with diner and dessert I was wondering if we could do it in the balcony while stargazing?"

Feeling Rainbow's body up against her she blushing " Why of coarse Rainbow it's fine." a little bit more teasingly " Besides how can I say no this is the most romantic thing you've done."

Putting on a fake pouty face " You're the one that fell for me so no complaining now."

Come back out of the kitchen with the basket trailing behind her engulfed in sarcastic tone " Yes, yes I know you are my knight in shining amour." putting the basket outside in the balcony " Now come on Rainbow stop pouting and let's go eat

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Sitting down out side after their dinner stargazing Rainbow looks at Twilight , then looks back up at the stars deep in thought.

Noticing this Twilight snuggles into Rainbow Dash further " Hey Rainbow." Dash continued looking up making a sound that signalled for her to continue " What are you thinking about?"

Rainbow stops to think for just a moment then turns to peck Twilight on the cheek " Well Twi I was just thinking about how awesome this is. I mean before we started going out I was a total reck."

Twilight notice tears welling up in Rainbow Dashes eyes and her body starting to shake " Damn it." taking a moment to recollect herself "I was thinking that before all this that it wasn't gonna work because,... I don't know. I couldn't even get the nerves to ask you out."

With tears falling from her face her voice shaking " I was really sad and I cried myself to sleep every night. I thought this would never happen that this right now was impossible but, here we are together under the stars with you in my hooves."

Twilight tried comforting her mare friend but, stopped mid way as Rainbow Dash wiped the tears from her eyes " Then out of no where you one day come up to me and ask if I would go out with you. I was so happy that you asked me and that we felt the same for each other." pecking Twilight on the cheek once more.

Rainbow gets up and looks at Twilight with a loving look, her voice still shaking " Hey Twilight can you wait here a moment? I need to get something." leaving without another word or giving Twilight a chance to speak.

Twilight sat there for a while until Rainbow came back with a blanket and wraps it around Twilight " Here, I noticed you were shivering before so I went to get you a blanket." looking away in embarrassment "I'm sorry for crying like that."

As Rainbow sits down Twilight unwrapped the blanket from herself and wrapped around both of them.

Rainbow snuggles into Twilight " I'm sorry for my little out burst it was just that, I couldn't help that. Agh~ okay being quite now."

Twilight turns Rainbow head to face her " I'm her now so calm down, okay? I'll never let you go." kissing her.

Rainbow Dash pull back and give Twilight a serious face "Twilight I have something to tell you, it is the reason why I came here I cant put it off much longer." she pulls out a small box " Twilight I always wanted to be your mare friend and you gave me the chance to do so. I wanted to tell you that I want to be that special sompony you see every morning when you wake up. That somepony that takes care of you when you're ill. Will you let me be that special somepony, will you marry me?"

Twilight burst into tears " Yes, yes I do!" pulling Rainbow Dash in for a kiss.

After talking for hours the two fell asleep in each others embrace beneath all the stars. Most night were cold during that time of year but, that night the two fillies didn't feel the cold. They were to busy being with each other that they forgot about the world around them.

Author's Note:

I am looking for an editor please help me find one I'm new to this thing and I just want to give you guys better quality stuff. So please do help! I also appreciate some pointer you guys could give.

Comments

[Arzoo]

I'm not even opening the first chapter to read; the description is a crime against English.

[Shikilicious]

You should really look to get an editor / proofreader (best one who is either natively speaking english or at least really experienced with the language).

I'm not natively speaking english, so I mostly don't even notice mistakes. But besides from some other stuff (missing commas, descriptional lacks, leaps of thoughts) especially grammar and sentence structures make me cringe (and some parts of the story really hard to read/understand).

[Ratsenkio]

I’ll be sincere and yes this is criticism but of the good kind.
First, your english is awful. You’re missing almost every punctuation. You also use unnecessary words and some words are wrote wrong. English is not my native language and I too from time to time make these kinds of mistakes. So, here’s an advice. Use Google Drive. It’s a lifesaver when you don’t really know if a word is wrote right or if you are typing too fast to even think what you are writing. And reread everything once you are done. With these two things you can correct almost every one of those errors.
Second, your story is not bad. Is original? No, but it’s not a bad one. Your characters are a little bit off though. Rainbow is sentimental on a lot of fics, yes. But you kind of made her a little too emotional. By that I mean that you made her cry a little too easy. Again, It’s not bad that you are making the characters as you wish but you have to remember that you are working with a character that already has a personality established. You should think “what would the character say in this situation?” rather than “what am I gonna make the character say?”.

And please, try to make the description a little more readable. It’s honestly a mess.
It seems like you are trying to explain two different stories using google translate.

[Winter The Gimp]

this was an attempt to be sentimental?

[Gear Writer]

I'm sorry that this was terrible. I'm new t this type of writing style. I'm a person that's used to writing informative and persuasive essays. I am truly sorry that these words have been ever seen by your eyes.

I bet this comment also has grammatical errors too.

[ThisIsIzze]

5485360 If your still looking for an editor, I can always help you out

[Autumn Jade]

If you ever need an editor, I've been asked to edit before do just pm me and I can always help you out!