5466889

Interestingly enough, I actually thought to myself while writing the latest chapter that the dialogue felt a bit preachy. Still published it since I'm a lazy hack, but just know your criticism is already being taken into consideration for future chapters.

i'm not really in this for the sex (surprising i know) but more of how Sunset if going morally, how she is questioning herself and stuff like that
still, great chapter

5467761

You have no idea how much this comment means to me.

I'm in the same boat as Krazy. I'm here for the story and the story is great. Wonderful job!

The story so far is quite good I really am enjoying the moral complications Sunset is having Though the sex is a bonus I WANT MOAR SOON! If that is alright with you

this is a great combination of story and sex, i love it

Sir the sex in this and a Thin Line were absolutely fantastic, but it's the extra effort put into thoughtful moral considerations that places this among my most favored story NOT pornfic.

5475183

It's my silly AU world. Sunset's demonic powers from the first movie are reinterpreted as powers from a Succubus. I wanted to explain why Sunset changed so much between the movies, so I thought up the demonic influence thing, and I wanted the story to concern sex, so I made the specific kind of demonic influence that of a Succubus.

If you want to work it into EqG canon, just pretend that Sunset was done having sex with people at that point and was more focused on her final plan, or that she was having sex offscreen or something. Most of the sex I've been referring to in Sunset's past I've mentally placed as having happened before the first movie.

I do have to say (careful every pony, the idiot is speaking) that while it is a really good idea of Sunset having her doubts, the whole "We're nymphomainacs" just felt way to convinient and out of the blue to really be believable. I'd say that it would have been good enough with "We really like sex and doesn't need any of societys boundaries", and the dialogue with Rarity was a bit to short. But perhaps that's just me.

If I may say so, I think you should give Sunset longer moments of "What The F have I done". It would add even more depth.

HMM. A story about Sunset Shimmer going around having lesbian sex with her friends.
*rubs chin in contemplation*
I MUST PUT ON MY FANCY READING OUTFIT!
lh3.googleusercontent.com/-7sOciP0s34I/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAACc/0H47ivfOLwA/photo.jpg
There. Now let the reading commence!

5483112

Sorry, meant to get to this comment a while ago.

I'm planning on making this a bit more serious, assuming I start finishing chapters again instead of writing half of one and moving on to write half of the next. I wanted Rarity and Fluttershy to feel like they were "easy mode", as it were. They're Sunset's gateway to this life, and the fact that they submit so easily is part of her coming struggles.

Maybe nymphomania is a contrivance, but I was also thinking of things that were easy to understand for the reader while staying sexy and maintaining overall tone. Maybe I fucked up, no idea, but it seemed like an okay explanation at the time I wrote it.

At any rate, if you're worrying, I guess what I'm saying is that this won't ever become a senseless fuckfest.

Unless, of course, I decide that a senseless fuckfest would be appropriate for building towards character moments.

5605283 I kept tracking it, just to see where you would take it, and it seems like it was a good idea then. :)

Well, I'm not going to turn this into a debate, just let me say that I understood what you were after, but just that word seemed... questionable. But that's old, let's move on! Into the future!

so is this still being worked on or is it pretty much dead

Question: Update?

Its sad to see stories like this just stop, especially after having such a strong start.

Did you even think this asking the artis of equestria untamed to make this story a comic.

It depresses me to see such a strong story abruptly stop and get thrown into the void of incomplete fics