Writer's Block. Forgetfulness. Leaving a fandom. Computer viruses and, heaven forbid, Death of the writer;
There are many reasons for stories started to be left unfinished. Sometimes it will be a series that stops midway, and sometimes it is something as simple as a writer's exercise to get the creative juices flowing again that falls by the wayside and is left to collect digital dust as its author returns to their original project. But what happens to the tiny world they've created? Nothing, right? It's just a collection of words. The characters within have no real life of their own...do they? What does it matter if the brave knight's journey to rescue his nation's princess never continues beyond him riding out beyond the edge of the Dark Forest, or if the cook never takes the bread from the oven, or if the simple description of a town is left without more than a name and vague description?
Twilight Sparkle has awoken to a brand new day. Or has she?
If you liked it, please say why. If you did not like it, please say why, I can take the heat, and I can only improve if given useful criticism.
The feels, they hurt
I liked this. It does a good job at creating a feeling of unease. That said, a couple of problems. The notes don't make a ton of sense to me. Twilight appears completely oblivious to what's around her and doesn't end the day by making the notes, so her as their source (which is implied) doesn't fit to me. If the world is unfinished because it's creator stopped paying attention, how is anything still happening? Also for a second I thought the blanks were people and places that hadn't been named officially in canon which would have been clever but then I remembered Spike was a blank as we'll. But that's minor as I can't fault you for writing something different from a random thought I had while reading.
5160144
Think of the world that Twilight is walking through as an outline rather than an actual story. The author has a basic of idea of what he or she wants to write, but has left out a few names, doesn't add important details like the fact that Ponyville should be a bustling and busy town. Most Slice of Life fics don't advance passed the borders of Ponyville (that involves the mains six) so other than Fluttershy's house, which Twilight would otherwise have gone to had the story been more fleshed out, there's Nothing anywhere else.
As to how things are still happening, they are and they aren't at the same time. Every time the would-be author turns on his or her computer, it refreshes the data for his or her use at the click of a button.
As to how Twilight wrote the notes and yet doesn't know it, I'm adding that tidbit to my Author's Note at the end. I didn't add it in the main story because I thought it might turn my story dark instead of sad.
This story was really creativ. Since a story about an unfinished fic. Which can turn into entire universes. And what happens when the story stops. And then it gives me, a person which the fic isn't even started yet. A new perspective. What about the universe you created, what happens in it when you don't add anything in a while?? Or just abandoned it?? It just gave path into a whole new road to think. And also made an well made atmosphere for the stories whole plot. Like Stanlys parable, twilight discovered the fault in her reality. And then got affected by it. And then couldn't take it anymore. Which lead to the last note. And is something everybody can get an opinion of. Like immortality's curse. Everyone can ha e its personal experience and opinion... Am I rambling??
5160555
not at all. There were a few things I chose to cut out, like her visiting a few friends houses to either find them still asleep and unable to wake them because the writer hadn't thought to have them wake up and go about their day, or have there be patches in the road that were white that she could walk over like the rest of the road purely because she was expecting to be able to until she realized it was a hole, in which place it would no longer hold her, but it was getting late and i was sleepy, and decided to skip that.
Since you asked:
As a writer who's left behind way too many unfinished worlds, I really like the idea here, but its execution confused me a bit. The deserted town and the blank void between what would have been the major scenes made sense given the premise, but I didn't understand the missing names.
The protagonist not knowing who ______ was would work better if this was a story with all original characters that the negligent author didn't flesh out, but as a work of fan-fiction, both the in-story author and you, the real author, know who Twilight's non-pony live-in assistant is, which member of royalty she writes letters to, etc. I can't imagine what the in-story author did to leave these details out, or why they weren't just assumed. Why should everything not explicitly stated in the unfinished outline be gone from the world and mostly gone from Twilight's memory?
I was expecting things more along the lines of meeting an indistinct or ambiguous character because the author hadn't decided who would appear in that scene, or having Spike's duties mysteriously getting done whenever Twilight wasn't looking even though she can't find him anywhere to represent skipped-over details.
The idea you mention of having the unused characters being present but inert and unresponsive seems a lot better to me for describing a fan-fiction setting. The author already knows what's in the world, but never got around to using them to tell the story.
Upvoted anyway; good food for thought.
5161947
thank you. I shall keep that in mind should I choose to rewrite it.
I subscribe to both multiverse theory and the theory that imagination and creative thought can create new universes, so this story hit me hard and got me thinking.
Question for the readers of this amazing story. What happens when a universe created by a story is suddenly abandoned? Does it simply cease to exist? Or does the plot-based protection the writer had given the characters fade, rendering the main characters on the same level as everyone else? Or would they simply continue along the storyline, finish it as the writer would have done if they had continued writing it, then proceed to make their own future?
Eh, doesn't really explore the idea very much. Not really a good topic for a one shot. It wasn't clear that the notes came from a previous cycle. And sweet Celestia please stop demanding that people put actual effort into helping you when all you did was make something they didn't enjoy. Why do authors do this, why?
5164914
because we wish to improve. I've never tried writing in this particular area before and if it doesn't meet approval I want to know why. Having someone simply write "This sucks, YOU suck!" isn't helpful, and actually does hurt my feelings. If someone doesn't like what I write, fine, but I'd like to know if it's because of a mistake I made somewhere, or if it something as simple as "Not my cup of tea."
5164923
Of course it's not helpful, but you can't expect people to just give you their time and effort when all you did was hurt them, even accidentally. I wish to improve too and people giving me all their money really helps with that. Being stuck in a dead end life with no future hurts my feelings, so therefore if I made you upset just now, you should give me all your money. You see what I'm getting at?
Besides you're lucky if someone gets so emotionally worked up by your work to say "This sucks YOU suck." Why would it upset you?
I'd kill for that kind of attention...And people question why we panic or get worried when a fanfic goes on hiatus, or why we mourn when a fanfic gets canceled.....
5165795
I guess I just got used to getting criticized while growing up. That almost no one is doing it now feels unusual. *shrugs* I kinda see what you're saying.
5166696
No hard feelings I didn't mean it personally. It only really bothers me since lots of authors seem to do that sort of thing. What I'd do is something like "If you liked it, please reply. If you did not like it, I still would appreciate your feedback." Calling their criticism useless before they even give it, and talking down at them as if they can't understand simple things like writers can't improve without criticism, that's something I wouldn't do. At most I might say "Don't be afraid to tell me why you hate it," or "I can take negative criticism like a boss," or something, but never actually request for them to do that. I really beat around the bush about stuff like that, because saying it directly makes it ambiguous whether you're offering a suggestion, making a request or demanding. English is pretty maddening that way.
At least, if I ever got a story approved that is...
Well, this was interesting. The idea is pretty original, and I think you've captured the uneasy atmosphere well. On the downside, I don't think the "_____" thing really works -- if a story needs an A/N that long, something's usually off. So mixed feelings from me, but the concept catches my attention enough that I'm upvoting it anyhow.