Good is good and bad is bad. But what if the Equestria that lives in harmony is not so good as it is made out, what if bad is good elsewhere and good in Equestria is...not so good?
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hahahahahahahahaha sombra was hilarious
Oh shit, more dark reveals. I gotta say, that's pretty fucked up of Twilight and Rarity.
7600764 i know right? They are not representing their elements
7600737 i found what Sombra said before the chapter ended really funny
well, I have never really been one for the light = good / dark = bad dichotomy, I think of it more as a light = order / dark = chaos dichotomy. You show what I think of as the cardinal sin of light, the blinding of the self to flaws. When you can feel that you are good by definition and someone else is bad by definition it's pretty easy to simply condemn anyone different, and Celestia and the element bearers seem to be falling into this trap, only Luna, close to the darkness by nature, and spike, the once-impressionable kid, can realize this. By the backstory you have told us, it looks like Faust came very close to realizing this fundamental truth of society, and I sincerely hope that she did, or is at least doing that, and that's why she's doing absolutely nothing, because she is figuring out her own flaws.
While I did enjoy this chapter quite a bit, I noticed that there were many vocabulary and grammar mistakes within this chapter -- I heavily doubt that you rushed this out or anything of the sort, but you definitely want to reread and edit this chapter when you have the time. Another thing is that you kinda exaggerated (for lack of a better term) Spike''s and Luna''s emotions during their conversation about Celestia.
That''s a pretty strong reaction to Celestia two timing Derrick, even with his close relationship with him.
Why would Luna be fearful for telling Spike? I know that it may be obvious to some (she's fearful that'll the truth will hurt him... I think), but this sentence (her reaction and emotions) came out of nowhere.
But, other than that, pretty good chapter! Just needs some editing.
7600902 more then once the main six didn't represent their elements some more then others, hell haven't people jump out their nature?
Did you mean to say human instead of stallion when luna was talking to spike because if you did there is something bad going on here.
more more MORE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Very good chapter. Good balance between drama and comedy. It added many depths to characters in this sotry. I love it. Keep up the good work. I hope and wish you would post more frequent.
7601978
If the image isn't working, just copy the html and paste it on your browser bar.
It should work.
Great chapter
Might want to reel it back with regard to the abusive Twilight thing. It's going a bit too far too fast. It would be one thing if you built up to it with her behavior getting progressively worse as her mental state frays under her mounting stress. Just leaping straight to it like that, however, is horribly rushed and stretches suspension of disbelief near to the breaking point. More believable would be her starting to lift a hoof before realizing what she was doing. Unless there's such buildup in a previous chapter that I'm forgetting about. It's admittedly been a while.
Extra points for the mental image of Sombra in a maid's outfit. Just how tight are those panties, I wonder...
7603097
True. Very true. I'm trying to reach a breaking point of their encounter and confliction before I start making the episodes of mlp into the title of the story.
That's gonna be a lot of mlp episodes to write out in its own dark, twisted version of the dark six.
Man, I'm really loving this story. Keep it up!
YEEEEESSSS!!!! BOIL STUPID EGGS! BOIIILLLL!!!!!!
7600967 I believe that the light represents what we see, and the dark represents what is hidden from us.
Yet there are exceptions.
Light can be blinding, and you'll need sunglasses to see, such as something that's so obvious, but you need to find the right hints to figure out it's there.
Dark has many different shades, because light is almost always there, but there isn't enough light to see unless you stay in the dark until your eyes adjust. This represents the varying importance of secrets, lies, and other things that people attempt to keep unseen.
Where Derrick treads currently, he is exploring the dark and is seeing more and more as his eyes keep adjusting, but he always keeps sunglasses clipped to his shirt, so he isn't blinded from obvious things.
Faust has realized the line that he treads, and sees that if she knocks him off in either direction, things could go horribly wrong.
If she forces him into the light, he can bring to light that there is an opposite to Equestria, and that it is ruled by many of Equestria's past enemies. If she forces him into the dark, it will bring more hatred from them at the light for emotionally breaking Derreck before sending him to them(I think, I'm going off the top of my mind here). So she can do nothing but let the events play out.
I thought this out on the fly, so it might be a broken theorem, wonderful.
Omg that is funny what he did to sombra. Truth is I kinda hope that luna will form a herd with nightmare
7603612 a perfectly valid theory, and honestly, it is probably one of the two, either Faust can't intervene, or won't intervene, because presumably she would've otherwise stopped Derrek when he tried to run. If Faust is as much of a god as she's portrayed as, she could presumably slightly look into the future to figure out what he would do and what the effects of his actions would be.
Derrek is acting like a stabilizing and moderating force in the dark kingdom right now, he's already been responsible for calming Nightmare Moon, and bringing the fact that the Guard isn't the best at guarding to light.
I am very interested in the events with Luna and Spike. So little happens with them each chapter that I'm always left wanting... Hope to see more soon.
This is probably my current favorite of your fics right now.
Yay I'm very happy with what you write i wounder what will happen next I hope you write more soon. Question were is crow in the story i see midnight Stella and raven but no crow I'm confused but grate story keep up a good work update more soon. ow are his sisters and mother jealous of nightmare moon having all of his attention and what will Derrick do when he sees the mark of nightmare moon on his neck? Just was wondering. Write more
Derrick Nightmare moon Luna herd.... I am all in with this please let it happen
7641854 agreed
Great chapter
Can't wait to see more
tell me thats this is not going to be canceled
7674825
Hell no. I'm just waiting to get home from England. I've been going from continent to continent for business for two and a half weeks.
Once I get home tonight I'll be on vacation and done with world travel for a few months.
So don't worry, I'm not cancelling anything.
It's takes alot of work to be a G.M.
7675133
sweet bc this a amazing so is this a harem story. i want to be bc i want nightmare, luna and maybe twilights oppisite self, and some other oppisite of themselvies at least be nice to see something like that but that just my opinion btw whos the couples of as of right now ?
To the Author,
I like this story, but you committed one of the cardinal sins of HIE stories. Sin #3) You dropped the main characters IQ into the negative in order to steer the story. You make a big deal that the main character being a engineer and incredibly intelligent. Then on a regular basis, he makes the most stupid and ridiculous decisions. Nightmare Moon isn't too bright in the beginning either. He falls through the floor and it never occurs to Nightmare that she actually has wings as well as the power to levitate items. She just stands there watching him fall.
When characters make ridiculous and stupid decisions, it just pulls me right out of the story. It breaks the suspension of disbelief that good stories produce.
Like I say, I like this story. But you have to be careful of that.
The Monk
Right off the bat, the cover art has got me hyped as hell- making me ache with anticipation.
I'd begun reading this story a while but then lost track of it but what I remember- absolutely beautiful.
7717527 one thing i would have to arguing not saying you point is wrong but still saying. there is a difference of being dumb and doing dumb thing especially when your still recovering from a huge upheaval and emotional damage and a huge twist in our life im sure later we will see his smart side
I found Sombra's last line to be absolutely hilarious because that is ME cooking
What the fudge nugget is happening, almost everyone's imploding on the "light" side, it's just gonna get worse isn't it?
...
... Twilight.... YOU BITCH!!!
But I'm enjoying it. Almost as much as seeing a bloodied Celestia
Wow, such enthusiasm.
amazing chapter and story but two things one twilight us a a abusive bitch and i wanna see revenge for derick two celestia is a heartless cheating cunt and how the hell u hide
another human from everyone is my question ao many theories! it makes myle read more !!!!!! good job im hooked