Good is good and bad is bad. But what if the Equestria that lives in harmony is not so good as it is made out, what if bad is good elsewhere and good in Equestria is...not so good?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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love it
More please.
I like it I kinda wish he said something like the kind man you knew is no more or I'll carve out the heart of anyone you send, but awesome chapter.
Good chapter.
Ehh he's growing balls at least. Im creeped out by Celestia though, she didn't get mad at all. All she did was get more determined (shiver). The only thing I was disappointed about was that Nightmare moon didnt tell Celestia off, like at all. When Celestia said your mine I was hoping for Nightmare to tell her to just try and get him. But in all a very good chapter. Oh are the nightmare ponies taller than the ones in Ponyvile?
5180821 she is more passive-aggressive than fucking GLaDOS
Loved it, but there are a LOT of spelling and grammar issues, do you need an editor?
518195
Yup
5181971 Though must not ignore me! /
5182613
Thou must remember that I am going to be a dad in a couple months, so work is lots of overtime.....Lots.Of. Overtime.
5182649 Oooohhh, boy or a girl? Either way, congratulations! That still doesn't answer my question though, do you need an editor?
5184629
Both actually. Having twins, and yes I need an editor.
5184724 Hahaha, your going to have double trouble. . Just hope that they don't act like my baby sister, head banging, refusing to take naps, etc.. Anyways, I could edit for you, get out all these spelling errors, if you wish.
5184788
Definitely.
5184794 Is that a definitely ti the editing? If so, I'll send my E-mail in a PM later, and when you finish the next chapter you can send me a Word Doc.
5184892
Yes, definitely, but message me about the story because it suddenly dawned onto me how Ultricorn can fit in the story.
5184894 Ok, I've seen some of your blog posts that have mentioned an ultricorn, but I don't know what an ulticorn is, could you explain it to me?
5185178
In a message, yes.
5169509
Instead of the usual pony species for darkness.....why not mix it up.
Say a pony that can any of the three regular breeds, but is also half-Lamia?
Think about it, a half breed that slithers but is pony on the top half
....*Makes a phone call* Hello? Yes I would like to make a hit on Celestia please, and yes a moral lesson of 'why you suck' to the rest of 'light equestria' if you will, and yes especially Twilight.
5191645
Would you like it done slow and painful or short and painless
No extra charge
5191669
I guess I can see that.
The rest of it still makes no sense, though.
5191683 For Celestia? Slow and extra painful. Just give the 'you such speech' to everypony else, except make them long and painful, except for pinkie and fluttershy.
5191696
Il make Celestia watch the others die while she dies
Is this your request
5191703 while this may work, I got a better one, instead let her be in a painful chair, eyes forced open as she see all the ponies she care about, both living and dead, in a dream like state where she'll see them slowly torture and open up like a frog in a science class. And she'll have the option of ending their lives, except if she does, then equestria will suffer the same fate, nopony will be spared. Of course if she refuse to do so then she'll 'save' equestria. Except she'll have to see her love ones torture in front of her. And this will repeat all the way to her least friend, to the ones she hold close most. How's that for description to make her suffer?
5191767
I quit you take the job
Btw the pay is good
5191772 I might do it at a part time gig, I have commitments to another project.
5191685
What do you have trouble understanding?
Let me know and I will explain.
5191829
I already explained the problems I have understanding the flashback in this post:
5187199
5191838
Basically Celestia attacks him twice before realizing her mistake. The reason Twilight is able to show his life will involve Discord, but that's later in the story.
And he did not hold his shirt up, he took it off and threw it down when it was catching fire.
As for the gala getting destroyed, I put where it explains the spell bouncing around until it dissipates from lack of energy.
Nobody was hurt, just the gala was torn up with the spell that bounced off Derrick.
And think about, if you were found out to be immune to magic, you would basically be the ultimate shield for Canterlot.
That's one of the hidden reasons Celestia changed on a dime, same as Luna.
If Derrick were to be their enemy, then nothing could stop who he sides with from overthrowing them.
Plus after realizing what Twilight showed, they realized they made the mistake to give up their feelings for him.
After all, he was supposed to be their date at the gala.....until Twilight screwed up.
5191864
My biggest problem is that the timing of the events that occur in the flashback aren't terribly clear. I found myself repeatedly asking, "What happened?" and "When did this happen in relation to the other events?"
After re-reading the flashback several times, and reading your explanation in the comments, I can sort of put together a coherent timeline of what happened and why, but none of it is immediately obvious. As a reader I shouldn't have to re-read a story in order to figure out what happened. The "why" can be obfuscated if there's something going on that the protagonist doesn't know about, but the "what" should never be this confusing.
I.... I...............I like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I half expected Derrick to be found by the Mane6, huddled over his fire, wrapped in a blanket. When he noticed them he'd chuckle and say in a deep, calm voice.
"So you found me, congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behaviour, the only thing you managed to break so far, was my trust."
5198946
Can't make it that dramatic yet. Gotta stick to introducing The Dark Six first.
Unless I'm stupid and missed something, I can't wait for more. Quite interesting how it is set up currently, and I'm enthusiastic about what is to come. Keep up the wondrous work sir/madam!
Great story can't wait 4 the next one
5198959 Good job! And I just love the fact that they will still be the evil ponies we know. But also be very nice towards Derrick but not the other ponies XD. hiliarious and outstandingly smart!
Is it wierd I would rather be in dark equestria?
A few parts made me... cringe along the way, but soon found it tolerable once reading through.
Wow, that is one stereotypical 'mirror' Twiligh showed.
my question is this, did twilight look at freacking hitler with that mirror???
6139988
6139694
Thank you
6140584 Look forward to future remade chapters. It flows better than the previous one.
Dammit, NMM, don't make it harder for yourself.
What a strange thought to have in the middle of a chase scene.
8006619
Not really, especially since NMM has already said that the chase turns her on.
It's also implying that she knows more than she should if this were their first meeting which can bring up some interesting possibilities if it isn't yet another poor wording choice or mistake
I... what? Why is the protagonist being blasted by the elements? Since when is that guy a "thing" of the princesses? Pure soul? For one to have that I would imagine an obviously good person, so how do things go from pure soul to getting shot with rainbow death ray because evil? A wild nightmare moon appears and sort of chases him into the castle... I... this needs ALLOT of context