- Member Since 13th May, 2014
- offline last seen Yesterday
SaiyanUltima
There really is not much to say, except I am here for the same reason I write on Fanfiction. I want to entertain you with my writing, not just detail it but make you feel that you are in the story.
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It was alright, I saw a typo at the start. Of their kid? I think you mean of their kin...
Other than that, I'd say work harder on giving the reader some more info. I didn't really get some parts.
5165480
Of their kid?
Where did you see that ?
Light and Darkness are one and the same... neither good nor evil. They are merely paths that one takes. How you choose to tread them defines you for who you are.
Deep philosophy here bro... deep philosophy here.
5165663
Totally agreed here, but I have to counter with the fact of Luna being stripped of her darkness in the cartoon.
So to say she was stripped of her darkness, plus it was never brought out in the cartoon that Nightmare Moon was destroyed.
Oooo what do we have here? This seems interesting!!
As a person who walks a dark spiritual path, I approve of this story. I like the idea of a dark version of equestria without it being evil. I can't wait to see what happens next, so keep up the good work.
Also, DON'T FUCK UP.
5165809
(Saluting)
YES SIR!!!
Good story bro
5165712 Never said she was destroyed. Sombra may not be fully dead either. Chrysalis had good intentions but executed said actions poorly. Discord wanted to have fun (not going to blame him there) he just didn't stop. You get the gist of it right? Light within Dark and Vice Versa.
5165847
I won't call it good. Good is where a story doesn't just intrigue you, but also takes your breath with the surprises and twists.
So for now, I will believe that it is a story that interests you.
But I do appreciate the compliment.
Plus add bat ponies and the other seven or eight pony species as well. Food for thought.
5165883
Already ahead of you my friend, even have chrysalis and her changelings in the story. Along with Sombra , dark crystal ponies, and a few other things.
However I am intrigued.
I know alicorn, bat pony, unicorn, pegasus, earth pony, and changeling, but what are the other pony species???
Like Master Xehanort said "darkness cannot be destroid, it can only be channeled".
5165929
I think so as well, but if you read Togari, it talks about light being a path of evil as well. It can be used to mislead a person into death and destruction.
5165486 Near the top. In the second paragraph
5165901 I am glad that you asked and thank you for adding changelings to the pony list (others will argue it) but the others species are like the one similar to pegasi but have fins instead of wings, also have scales, and control the weather sort of (ocean weather sort of business). Those you know?
5166118
Aqua Ponies?
Hmm seema legit elements who know voilence and know action when needed
5166160 Not sure what they are called but hey there they are. And the others as well.
5166340
Okie Dokie.
5166387 There are other species of ponies but I kinda forgot them so it will take time to get their info and such.
5166469
That's ok.
Violent, killing, and manipulative? wow please don't forget the other balancing traits... ill admit we do have potential evil but do we use them 24-7 for life? society was made by trial and error might not be perfect but could be better in some place's but least were still trying...
Interesting dewscription I will give this a look or a fav, still the short description confused me a little
If you need any ideas for a story i have a few good ones
I have weird feeling like The Legend of Zelda A Link to the past moment.
Hey just letting you know, I love the idea that you have going here. Hope to read more soon.
5167166 Same, This is multi-universe
5166118 ...Sea Ponies? They're like, half fish and half Earth Pony.
5165712 Even better, they confirm she wasn't destroyed in the comics. Now, despite what people might say about their "dubious canon" I do believe that they're going to add Twilicorn to the rest of them, or so I hear.
5169298 Yeah having fins instead of wings, controlling weather (ocean weather and such), they might have webbed hooves or something of the like, may or may not eat fish, scales, can breathe air too (I think), and more... I think.
5169509 How they're shown the first ever time you see them, it's like a mermaid but with pony instead of human.
...which is reeeeeeally weird.
5169518 The ones I am talking about have four limbs... unless the tail fin thing is a limb then five.
Your character could be the Hero of Chaos? Nah. Hero of Darkness is more like it.
5175251
Hence it being an alternate universe. Because frankly the villains only seem to imprison of brainwash the ponies.
So to do that to a human is cliché, and The Stockholm Syndrome idea is completely idiotic.
However it never said anything about Nightmare Moon helping him, She only said about having interests in him, she never said her intentions.
For all we know, she could make him a slave or a weapon. But that isn't going to happen, for this is a look into there being a world that is the dark version of Equestria.
This is going to be a good read, keep them coming. xD
I'm going to be listening to this when I read them it fits.
5177293
Very true, but would it be blasphemy for The Mare in The Moon to have feelings???
Reason I ask is this story is to be a development of interest in the OC, a slow realization of him seeing that Nightmare Moon sees more.
As well as his skill in engineering, he can play a role that does not involve power.... but intelligence.
Magic is power, brawn for a pony.
However....Brain beats Brawn, in which will make him a dangerous foe without magic.
Now imagine if Nightmare Moon discovered this, imagine if she could mold his intelligence with magic... while slowly developing a relationship.
Would you believe that he is valuable...or priceless to her kingdom, but everything to her heart?
5177388
If you read the intro, my note says that the villains are slightly villainous and friendly. I never said they are completely evil, I only said that this is an alternate universe.
I'm not sure what is you're wanting, but it sounds to me that you're wanting some grimdark and gory story?
love it
More please.
I like it I kinda wish he said something like the kind man you knew is no more or I'll carve out the heart of anyone you send, but awesome chapter.
Good chapter.
Ehh he's growing balls at least. Im creeped out by Celestia though, she didn't get mad at all. All she did was get more determined (shiver). The only thing I was disappointed about was that Nightmare moon didnt tell Celestia off, like at all. When Celestia said your mine I was hoping for Nightmare to tell her to just try and get him. But in all a very good chapter. Oh are the nightmare ponies taller than the ones in Ponyvile?
5180821 she is more passive-aggressive than fucking GLaDOS
Loved it, but there are a LOT of spelling and grammar issues, do you need an editor?
518195
Yup
5181971 Though must not ignore me!
/
5182613
Thou must remember that I am going to be a dad in a couple months, so work is lots of overtime.....Lots.Of. Overtime.
5182649 Oooohhh, boy or a girl? Either way, congratulations! That still doesn't answer my question though, do you need an editor?