My Little Pony Equestria Girls Retold

by Starman1560

So it Begins

I don't own Equestria Girls or the characters. But I do own Blaze Shine.

Chapter 1 So it Begins

It was a normal and suuny day in the city of canterlot and a boy was walking to school with light green hair and dark blue eyes wearing a dark blue jackets and trousers, black t-shirt with a picture of two cross swords behind a shield and light green shoes like his hair colour. His name is Blaze Shine. He was a student at Canterlot High School. He think this day with be the same as every normal day. But soon he will find out this will be the day where his life will change forever.

Blaze was walking down street after about 5 minutes he could see the school, but about to go it when he saw a girl siting on the floor next to the Canterlot statue looking upset will flyers all over the floor. The girl had long pink hair with a white butterfly clip in it, wearing a white t-shirt, light green skirt will three butterfly on it and boots as the same colour of her skirt. Her name is Fluttershy and she always be the statue on Wednesday giving out flyers about looking for help for Canterlot Animal Shelter. Blaze feeling sorry for her, she had be trying give out flyers like every year. But no one will not take one flyer off her and she feeling like calling it quits. Blaze walked up Fluttershy and was about to asked if she was ok, when suddenly something came out of the statues and right into Blaze's face. Fluttershy heared the noise and she slowing move her head up to see what made get noise, and what she was Blaze on the floor holding his face will his right hand and arm.

“OH MY !” She freaked. She got up off the floor and ran up to Blaze to see if he was alright.

“Are you okay, your not hurt are you.” Fluttershy asked with a worried tone in her voice.

“No I am fine” said Blaze as he sat up and got off the floor. “What about you, I saw you siting on the floor looking upset. I was going to ask you if you were okay, but before I could get a chance to ask you something went into my face and that why you saw me on the floor.”

“Oh I am fine thank”. Fluttershy said with her the voice sounding more normal. Then she look on the floor and saw all the flyer she dropped before. She bent down and started to pick them up.

“Here, let me help you”. Blaze ask then he bent down to help Fluttershy with the flyers. About to 3 or 4 minutes Fluttershy and Blaze got their own hand full of flyers.

“Here” Blaze said and gave his hand full of flyers to Fluttershy.

“Thank you, oh I am sorry I did not get your name” Fluttershy asked.

“Blaze, Blaze Shine he said “Whats your name”

“Fluttershy. Nice to meet you Blaze” she said.

“You too Fluttershy” Blaze said. “Still no luck getting helpers to help at the animal shelter”

“No” said Fluttershy and the tone it her voice start to down again. “Its feeling like that everyone in this school don't care about the animal, but only me. I...I...I feeling like quiting on doing this.” Then in look liked she was about cry. But before she was about to Blaze says said something was shocks her.

“I will take one, I will take one of your flyers Fluttershy.” Blaze said then smiled at her. Fluttershy was looking at him with a shocked face. Then her face went from shocked to happy.
“You will” she said in a more happy voice. Blaze nods his head be meaning yes. Suddenly Fluttershy arms went around Blaze,this shocked him. Fluttershy was hugging him, He has talk to girls before but not hugged be one. Then he hears Fluttershy voice in a even happy tone saying.

“Oh thank you, thank you, this is most kindness thing at everyone have ever done for me” she said then suddenly she jumped away for Blaze and her face was red as a apple, then she spoke again.

“Oh I am sorry for hugging you, I should of asked first” she said with a blush on her floor.

“No its ok Fluttershy.” Blaze said. Then he took one of the flyers off and put it his bag.

“Well I got to get to class, I will see around Fluttershy” Blaze said and start to walk away from Fluttershy went his foot trips over something and he went down face into the hard stone floor. *SMASH* Fluttershy saw what happened and ran up to Blaze to see it if he was ok.

“Oh gosh, Blaze are you all right” she asked hoping he was ok.

“Yes I am okay” Blaze said as he pulled his face out of the ground, then got up off the floor. “What get I trip over everywhere”. Blaze start look on the floor to see what he trip over on.

“I it was this” Fluttershy said and hads crown it her hands. Blaze turned around and saw the crown in fluttershy's hands

“Hmmm, its looks like crown that the winner would wear at this Princess of the Fall Formal” he said.

“Yeah your right” Fluttershy said “Principle Celestia did said before to all the students to keep own eyes open for the crown because it went missing.”

“Well its looks like it be found now, I better return it to Principle Celestia before I got to class.” Blaze said, Then he took the crown from fluttershy and went to the front door of the school, then he turned around to look at Fluttershy and shouted out saying.

“Fluttershy, good luck with your day I will see you around!” Blaze shouted out to Fluttershy. Fluttershy shouted back saying.

“Sure, see you around Blaze”. Fluttershy shouted back. Then Blaze opened the door and walked in the school.

Principle Celestia was in her office siting at the desk knowing paper work. When she hears a knock on the door .*Knock* *Knock*. Principle Celestia looks up and speaks

“Come in” she said. Then the door opening and Blaze walked it. “May I help you Blaze”.

“Yes Principle Celestia. I here to return this” he said as he put the crown Principle Celestia's desk.

“Oh” said Principle Celestia sounding little abit surprise. “Where did you find it Blaze and please sit down”. Blaze sat down on of the chairs and he started to speak.

“I find it on the stone path by the statue and I don't know how it got there” he said.

“I see, well thanks for finding the crown and I will tell my sister so she can put it in a safe for the fall formal”. Principle Celestia said. “Oh thats remind me, this fall formal with be a little different this year. First the fall formal will a different name, it well be called The Princess and Prince of the Fall Formal. Next the the fall formal will have three rounds, one, the girl who is entering and the boy of her choose do to a dance off of their choice in front of a crowd. Two, the pair sing a of their choice in front of a crowd. Finale the last round, this time the pair can do everything they like for the last round like a other dance off, a magic show, a drama player etc. After all the rounds are over the students with vote of the winner pair.” Blaze listened to everything at Principle Celestia said, after she was done Blaze started to speak.

“I see, but why are you tell me all of this” he asked.

“Well I be telling all students soon, but I told you because you do off sleep it class a lot. If I told at the same time will all the student, knowing you. You would of sleep through everything I would of said. So I told you first so you with be up to speed.” Principle Celestia. Blaze went a little red in the face, it was true he would sleep throught everyting at she would of said, if she told him and the other students at the same time.

“Thanks for the heads up, I think” Blaze said still little red in the face.

“Your welcome Blaze, you can go now” Principle Celestia. Blaze got up from the chair walked to the door, opened it and walk out of the office. Blaze was walking down the hallaway. He was thinking about of what Principle Celestia about the fall formal being different this year. Suddenly a loud scream came for outside. Blaze stopped and looked out the window ans saw a girl with long purple hair on the floor be the statue screaming her head off and a small light purple dog was looking her doing it the screaming. Blaze ran down the hallway of the school and to the front door of the school. Suddenly the door threw opened and went into Blaze face and everything went black.

Blaze finale woke up and he was on a bed in the nurse's office. All he remember what the door going right into his face.

“Oh thank goodness you are awake I saw so worried” the voice in sounded like a girl. Blaze turned his head to the right and saw a girl sitting on the chair be the bed he was on. The girl had long dark purple hair with a litte bit pink and right purple in it, wearing a light blue top, a purple skirt with a pink six ponited star and with five small white star round it and black dacning shoes.

“What happened” Blaze said still don't know want happened.

“Oh, you see I am new here, and when I opening door of this castle I heard a noise and I saw you on the floor knocked out. Lucky somepony I mean someone came long and find on the floor. I think she said she was the nurse. Everywhere she put you on this bed and went to get stuff, she said I could wait here for you to wake up. She said.

“I see, thank you be the way why did said castle do you mean school this is a school” Blaze said thinking she may got her words wrong

“School? Yes I mean school sorry she said and went a bit little red in her face.

“Its okay, be the way what your name. My name is Blaze Shine yours.” Blaze asked.

“Twilight, Twilight Sparkle” Twilight said.

That was the first chapter of Equestria Girls Retold (My version). The next chapter will be called The Girl and her Dog. Hope you like it.

Comments

[ObsidianPony]

Advice just from the description:

The true is

Spellcheck/editing is your friend.

trapped in the human world, longer than Sunset Shimmer

Try to avoid saying stuff like this, comparing original characters to canon just invites trouble, deserved or not.

Can Blaze protect her

1. That implies Blaze is directly better than Twilight, this is stepping on a landmine

2. It kinda downplays Twilight's competence.

Will comment again when I've read the first chapter.

[Scipio Smith]

Echoing Obsidian above, this could do with an editor, or a run through spellcheck. That said, I am interested in seeing where this goes, this kind of thing is rare on this site.

[Starman1560]

5135236
Thanks for pointing out my mistakes. My English is not the best and sorry. I am trying not to make Blaze better than Twilight it came out wrong.

[ShadowblazeCR]

Hmm...nah.

[Golden Flare]

This is a good start, especially "The Princess and Prince of the Fall Formal", but I think it would make more sense if it was "The Prince and Princess of the Fall Formal". Also, there was a ton of typos and missing quotations, you should really fix that, or hire a proofreader to help you.

I can't wait to see what happens next!

[SomeRandomFicBrony]

Uhh.... This is a bit sad..... It has potential, but it's not doing a very good impression.....
I do think this needs more polishing. However, for your first chapter, it's not bad, as it has a good idea.

[Blackguard]

So this story is really nothing more than the plot to Equestria Girls and your OC? Could you at least have tried to come up with something a little more original than "I show up and help the characters"? And let's face it, 99% of the stories of this type are pure wish fulfillment.

And while you get points for not being a native English speaker but wanting to write in English I really suggest either improving your English skills or finding yourself a proofreader. What you wrote here is nigh unreadable.