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Damn that's deep.
Very good job sir or madam.
Dude... he had the balls to do what I was thinking on doing months ago
The feels!
And I hope you're feeling better bro. I support you!
That was seriously glorious. It made me feel so much and left that "bitter aftertaste" that all the really good books do.
Are you feeling better now or are you still depressed? Answer honestly. If you're depressed too long then maybe you should probably see a doctor or a therapist or something.
Also, you should think of going professional because your writing skills are awesome!
Well that was amazing, maybe one of the best things I have ever read.
5102554 I went to therapy once. It stopped working around the time I realized that faking sanity was very easy.
5103055 Sweetheart.
What exactly is making you depressed?
5103182 I would say that Depression isn't something that has a distinct cause. Rather I'd say that it's something that tends to exacerbate other things that are bothering you.
5103310 What's bothering you?
5103532 Honestly? It sounds really stupid when I say it in my mind. I would say that Andrew Solomon said it best in what describing is bothering me.
5103547 So you can't describe it? That's okay.
You're clinically depressed, aren't you? If so, then there is medicine that can help you feel a lot better, if you want. Just, like, talk to your doctor or something.
What specific events or situations make you start to feel bad? Because I guess I'd advise staying away from those. Also, spend as much time as you can surrounded by the people you love and doing the things that you love.
5103705 "Depression is a disease of loneliness."
It is very hard to feel any kind of meaningful human connection for me. I go through life and it feels like I'm playing the loneliest MMO. Certain days it feels like I'm surrounded by hundreds of NPC's. Sure they exist, and they say things, but you don't connect with them. And the few people I do find are few and far between.
And it would be very difficult just to avoid going outside or staying alone by myself since they're opposite sides of the same coin.
But again, at the moment I feel centered. Almost like I can observe my feelings without letting them get too close, to borrow a quote from Star Trek.
5103726 Oh sweetheart.
So you're lonely? That... actually... words cannot describe how bad that is. I've felt lonely a few times, too, but never on a large scale.
You have a family, right? And some friends, too, if not a lot. I think the story you wrote is based on yourself. So I guess there's a Delilah person in your life. Tell her how you feel, as best as you can. All of it. I know she loves you and once people know how you feel, I think they'll their hardest and do everything they can to make you feel better.
Loneliness. I've seen that hideous creature destroy the lives of billions of people, including my best friend. It takes a long time to conquer. I just hope you find someone someday.
You've got a lot of potential, bro. I think you could be the next Edgar Allen Poe.
5103769 Actually, Delilah was just a character. Her name came from the biblical character of the same name. And it is very hard for other people to comprehend something that not many have experienced.
5104905 But you do have family, right? They live you and even if they don't understand toy, they'll try to help.
5105391 The problem with them is that I speak a language they never bothered to learn. I mean that figuratively in that there are some personal issues that can't really be resolved. And they are kind of part of the problem. And their solution was to send me to a shrink which didn't work as well as it should have. The only therapy that appears to have any effect are the 5000 words written up above.
5105418 Okay sweetheart, do whatever helps. β₯β₯β₯
You're a good writer so you should do it as much as you can. Besides that, do you have a job?
5105432 Starting a new one soon.
5105496 That's good. Do you like it?
Anyway, good luck! :)
5105547 Thanks
5105845 You're welcome. So, What are you going to doing?
5105880 Don't know. Probably keep writing.
5106898 That's a good idea. It's fun, productive and inspirational.
5107066 Sometimes I wish I couldn't feel anything. Fun or otherwise.
5107137 Oh sweetheart. I swear, you should talk to a doctor and get medication. I swear it helps.
5107146 I'd rather not live with my sanity being controlled by a pill. It would bother me knowing that I was only feeling the way I was feeling because of a drug. It wouldn't feel natural at all.
If possible I'd like to solve my problems without the use of shrinks or medication.
5107187 You can't solve problems without help bro. I get why you wouldn't want the drugs, and if therapy doesn't work it doesn't work, but you're gonna need to find some help.
5098361 Committing suicide or writing a story about it?
5107213 Writing about it does... it does do SOMETHING for me. I just don't know what but since publishing this story I've been feeling more centered than normal, more in control. Again, it's as if I can observe my depression without letting it get too close. My problem is that no one I know has dealt with any problems like this. It's hard to talk about something with someone when you have no common ground to go on. I doubt any of us can comprehend what it's like to get a terminal cancer diagnosis unless we have gotten a terminal cancer diagnosis before.
I suppose I do writing because it allows me to do things that I normally couldn't or wouldn't do in real life. Currently this is my ONLY route for expressing myself. There's so much just inside my head that I want to get out but can't because I have to funnel it all through my fingers onto a keyboard. And since writing is the only thing like this I'm good at I just have to do it. I can't draw very well or play music like most people I know but I can craft narratives like no one else I know. Once an idea gets into my head I can't not write it or entertain it in some way. And it does a lot to distract me
5107313 You're a true writer, bro. A TRUE writer. You feel. And I think that you should totally get a book published (which you're trying to do, aren't you?). If writing helps, keep doing it. And you want someone who feels the way you do, don't you? Well, there's a group on this site called called Anti-Depression Ponies. Maybe you might want to check that out. I'm glad that writing centers you. I hope you also find a way to find happiness.
5107423 Thank you. I think I'm going to talk to one of my friends about it. Thanks for listening.
5107460 I'm glad you have a friend to talk to. I hope you find happiness. I'm glad you're centered right now. I'm glad I could help. And if you ever need me again, feel free to mail.
Keep writing, bro.
5107216 Both. I'm over the depression now
5107587 That's so awesome!!!!! Congrats man!!
5107700 Thanks. I still don't feel motivated to do much except study for my major. But at least i'm not having suicidal thoughts
5107771 That's good. I guess you just have to believe that you can do it in order to do things. Although if you don't feel the need to do things, there's actually no reason to do them. I don't think that's bad, I just think you'll be more motivated when you find something you really care about.
5107793 Thanks man
5107811
This was beautiful
This was an amazing story. That's all I can say about it.