It was another beautiful day in Ponyville… more or less. Even with the prep work, the storm had still caused some damage, but that was nothing compared to days when something skulked out of the Everfree. As far as Applejack was concerned, the slumber party had been the worst part of the whole night, and even that had led to some good.
But for right now, other ponies had the loose branches and occasional broken window well in hoof. All she had to focus on was selling her pride and joy.
And as if summoned by the thought, a friend came trotting up to the stand, a smile on her face. “Hi, Applejack!”
“Howdy, Twi,” Applejack said with a tip of the hat and a grin of her own.
And without shifting that expression one inch, Twilight said, “The three-eyed owl need not turn its head.”
Applejack blinked, then rubbed her head in case she’d managed to hit it on a branch while trotting into town. “Beg pardon?”
“Oh! Sorry.” Twilight cleared her throat and said “The Great Mystery consumes us all” as though that were any more reasonable.
“Ain’t sure where yer goin’ with this, sugarcube, ‘cause I ain’t followin’.”
Twilight ears drooped, panic starting to creep into her expression. “Um… Oh, what was it? The mob at the gates does not know the back entrance?”
Applejack took a look around. No pranksters snickering at the two of them, but Rainbow Dash might be directly overhead. She sighed and said, “Twilight, this here’s a farmer’s market. If ya wanna buy somethin’, alls you gotta say is ‘Howdy, AJ, I’d like some Pippins,’ an’ then I’ll say, ‘Sure thing, Twi, they’re three fer five bits.’”
“That’s it?” Twilight took a step back and looked over the stall like she’d never seen it before. “Really?”
“Normally I’d haggle a little, but I ain’t sure yer ready for that kinda thing. The hay was that?”
Twilight’s head drooped as one hooftip dragged in the dirt. “Well, when I was at Celestia’s School, I mostly just ate whatever they were serving at the dining halls. Or whatever Spike put under my muzzle. But he’s still back home on royal business and I haven’t done much grocery shopping since I was a filly.” She shrugged. “Mom always said all the stores with the best deals have a passphrase. And to not buy any nonperishables, because those are cursed more often than not.”
“You don’t say.” Applejack looked to the Canterhorn and the city thereon. “That sorta thing normal up in Canterlot?”
“It was in my neighborhood.” After a moment, Twilight frowned and added, “I think. Moondancer’s mother always did look at me funny when I asked for bitter truth and sweetest lies in my sandwich.”
That got the eyebrow. “You pullin’ my tail right now?”
“No, but I think I may need to write to Mom when I get back to the library.” Twilight offered a sheepish grin. “So, about those Pippins…”
Twilight Velvet always appreciated letters from her foals. For one, it made for amazing gossip. For another, it was nice to know that they hadn’t forgotten their poor, sweet mother as they went on to do amazing things. But this one did make her sigh a little.
Night Light looked up from his latest star chart. “Something wrong, dear?”
“Nothing, Nighty. I know Sparkle will be eating right thanks to those earth pony friends of hers.” Velvet couldn’t keep the frown off her face. “Still, a mother can’t help but worry.”
“Dear, we’ve been over this,” Night Light said in the monotone he used when his mind was focused elsewhere. “Food can be nutritious without bathing in the unfathomable energy of the cosmos.”
She gave him a sharp glare. “So you’re saying you don’t want the Casserole Unfathomable?”
Night flinched without even turning his head, very nearly marking a celestial convergence several years early. “Every day, I don’t know whether I should thank or curse that roommate of yours.”
Velvet giggled at that. “You have to admit, dear, if it weren’t for A. K. Yearling, our meals would be a lot more boring.”
The substitute librarian strolled back into the library's kitchenette to grab a snack before bedtime, because the mission that had sent the Bearer's off in such a hurry had caught him just before dinnertime, and being teleported from Canterlot to Ponyville by an uncommunicative Royal Guard had not left him with any time to grab take-out. Opening the icebox, he meditated upon the contents within, like thousands of other male ponies when faced by the need to provide their own sustenance.
"Let's see," he mused, looking over the neatly labelled contents in the light of the icebox, "we have Entropic Chili, leftover Unfathomable Casserole with carrots, Indescribable Salad, Quantum Stewed Rutabaga, Non-Linear Asparagus..." Ever so slowly, the substitute librarian backed up and allowed the icebox door to close on its own.
That's not the icebox light glowing. It's the contents.
He stood there for a long moment, weighing his hunger against his common sense, then turned to the stove.
"Guess I'll just have to cook up some Raman noodles instead."
The neighbors only asked to borrow a cup of sugar from Velvet once.
10754165
He should at least try the Antediluvian Anisotropic Agar Apple Ambrosia!
3.bp.blogspot.com/-du9h5JP8W4U/TzlGKjrZpMI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/dbjCXAJWF6E/s1600/jello%2B2.jpg
While Randall Munroe arguably did this joke better, the fact that he's in the same discussion is high praise.
10754165
Raman noodles - they're scatterly delicious!
There's a joke here that I am totally not understanding.
Twilight’s mother really explains a lot about her.
10754352
Just that Twilight Velvet's eccentric
10754352
Click Lurks-No-More's link.
10754165
Several years after Twilight’s coronation as sole ruler of Equestria, Daring Do and the Cookbook of the Gods became the first book in history to simultaneously debut at number one on the bestseller lists, be added to the royal archives, and cited as required reading at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns (Alchemy 901, taught personally by Princess Twilight, and strictly at her discretion). Concomitantly, it vanished from the public eye.
All printed copies were purchased by the crown, along with the printing plates, galleys, and the author’s original manuscript, earlier drafts, and notes. Those known to have worked on the publication of the book in any fashion (editing, typesetting, binding, etc.) today respond with puzzled looks or befuddlement when questioned about it. A.K. Yearling categorically refuses to answer any and all questions on the matter of the book, though one journalist thought she heard Yearling mutter “S-C-P” under her breath while leaving an unrelated book signing where numerous fans made multiple attempts to have her comment.
Word from reliable sources within the palace archives indicate that while the original manuscript still exists, it is stored under tight security in the restricted section accessible only by the Princesses (with the exception of Flurry Heart until she comes of age). Said sources also maintain that the E.U.P. leadership witnessed the galleys and printed copies of the book quietly and thoroughly incinerated in the castle smithy’s smelting furnace to provide the necessary heat to melt down the printing plates. The melt was then cast into ingots which were later used as ballast aboard T.M.S. Burden Some, flagship of the ill-fated South Luna Sea Expedition. But ship was scuttled at sea — just one of the many unexplained events that occurred during that terrifying voyage of exploration.
Rumors persist, however, that a single galley of Daring Do and the Cookbook of the Gods survives in the hooves of a private collector, possibly one known to Princess Twilight.
Something tells me that if Twilight used a passphrase with Pinkie at Sugar Cube Corner, she'd understand just what she meant
please do a story where Twilight Velvet hosts a dinner party for friends of her family. Maybe AJ could bring some Zap Apple Jam
constant whiplash, from start to finish XD
XD. Twilight Velvet and Daring Do WOULD be great friends!