Peace above our hearts below

by BewhoUr

Pinkemena Diane Pie and her rather curious secret.

A sullen Pink mare with a greying photo in her hoof sat on a rickety couch that looked as if it was about to collapse. Come to think of it, the mare herself looked kind of like the couch: torn up. She blew a piece of silky flat hair out of her shimmering blue eyes and looked at the photograph again, her expression tired. The window-panes bowed to the silver light of the moon that flooded through them, creating a waterfall of light to bathe the photo. If you looked at the photo one day, not knowing the story to it, it would look like a very ordinary photo. In it, a grey earth pony with greenish hair neatly tucked up in a bun, her spectacles resting on her nose stood next to a pink filly with flattened dark pink hair. They both had very piteous, sad expressions on their muzzles, and you would find yourself puzzling why somepony took this picture at this time. Really, the story was quite simple. And Pinkie knew it by heart. She would think of it again and again, every time she saw that photo. The beginning of that day was quite nice actually. The light was just blinding enough to hide the monster that lurked, ready to pounce. It was the day of Pinkemena's first check up. The sun shone brightly, the birds chirped in the sky, and absolutely nothing could go wrong as Pinkie and her mom trotted down a dusty road to the nearest Doctor's office in Ponyville. The stones were clattering under their hooves and Pinkie's mother, Cloudy Quartz, noted the types of each rock as she kicked them aside. This went on for a while, a sort of road game to occupy the time, until they finally trotted into the doctors office. The doctor there was friendly, as pinkie remembered. He asked her a few questions, did a few tests, asked her to stick her tongue out (To which Pinkie did so with slight confusion.) Finally, after around two hours, The doctor came out of the office with Pinkie and a clipboard, looking very depressed and slightly confused. Not that you could blame him, Pinkie was switching back and forth from her depressive side and her cheerful side. He had looked Cloudy Quartz in the eye and said,

"Miss Quartz. I'm afraid that your daughter has bi-polar disease." Cloudy Quartz had jerked her head up, her eyes filling with tears as she ran to her confused daughter and hugged her. Pinkie's life at the farm had been absolute turmoil since that day. When she and her mom showed back up at the house with the bad news, Pinkie's dad igneous had snapped a photo of them hurriedly, expecting only happy faces and good news. When he heard however, his anger began to rise. He had quietly asked Pinkemena to go to her room, and when she obeyed his orders, an argument quickly spouted downstairs. It was decided that it was too dangerous for Pinkie to live on the rock farm, her outbursts could cause a lot of trouble for the reputation of the family. It could destroy business. And... that was how she came to live in Ponyville. She hadn't seen her parents since the incident, and frankly, she didn't really need to. But she wanted to. How she wanted to show her mom and dad how little she changed faces, or acted out. But she knew that her parents probably didn't want anything to do with her now. Pinkie looked up at the gleaming silver moon, knowing that even it had a dark side. How long had she kept the secret from her friends now? From Mr. and Mrs. cake? From EVERYONE? She didn't know, she couldn't remember. But she did remember last Saturday. When she lashed out at Fluttershy. It had been a regular day. Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie were at the pond enjoying some sun. Pinkie suggested with a happy skip in her step that they all go boating, and Rarity had agreed that,

"On a day like today, its a simply fabulous idea!" But Fluttershy had coughed gently and said,

"I... don't really think that's a good idea." Suddenly Pinkie's roller coaster like attitude had kicked in and she lashed out at Fluttershy with angry yells.

"You think that just because you're the shy one, it gives you the right to chicken out on everything we do!?" Pinkie was steaming mad, her hair flat and her teeth grinding like she had been holding all this in for a while, which she had. Fluttershy now shrunk back, her eyes huge with fright and wet with fresh tears.

"What right do you have to do the things you do? You're such a wimp Fluttershy. Such a doormat." When Pinkie had realized what she had said, she covered her mouth with her hooves and squeaked a "sorry." They seemed to forgive her on that day, but Rarity and Fluttershy had avoided her since then, and Pinkie kept away. She was afraid that she might hurt them if she got near them. And that was why she had made an important decision. Pinkemena shoved the photograph in a rough, sandpaper textured duffel bag that she slung across her pink shoulder wet with tears as she trotted numbly down the stairs, quieting so she wouldn't wake the Cakes. She would miss them so much. They had become like parents to her, and she really owed them a lot. She would hurt them so much by doing what she was about to do... but she would hurt them more if she stayed. She was acting out, her bi-polar sides finally showing. She then left tear-stains on the floor behind her, salty crystals dripping on finish worn away in spots where ponies often walked. Pinkemena noticed this for the last time as she opened the door, breathing in the scents of the bakery and enjoying the tingle of the bell. She walked outside and, taking a deep breath, reared and galloped away with heart hammering, sweat slicking on her sides as she got farther and farther and father away from Ponyville. She knew all these roads, these houses. She loved Ponyville. But she couldn't stay in Ponyville and hurt her friends more. She had.... to go. She didn't exactly know where she was going, how far she would run, or what she would do when she stopped running. But none of that mattered. Her friends... were safe.

Comments

[Queuefka Palazzo]

"bi-polar disease"

Ahuh.

[BewhoUr]

4992737
XD
Well, that claim is SO hard to believe.

[LegoRail]

Er.."bi-polar disease"? Last time i check Bi-Polar was a mental condition?

[BewhoUr]

4992762
Yes, it is a mental condition in which the person effected by it will tend to be happy one minute, sad the next, and lash out for no apparent reason.

JUST LIKE PINKIE PIE!

Any way, I put disease because it technically is a disease of the mind.

[cipherscriptures]

Ok good at first I thought the secret was that she was the one that was killing all those ponies I'm just glad this doesn't relate to cupcakes at all.

[Lord of Nothing]

4992786

Let's just call it a disorder and go home.

[BewhoUr]

4992842
I, personally, hate the fanfic cupcakes. I think that Pinkemena is just misunderstood.
Thanks for reading!

[cipherscriptures]

4992850 your so WELCOME BEWHOUR

AND BY THE WAY NICE USERNAME IDK WHY IM YELLING!!!!!!

[BewhoUr]

4992863
THANK YOU YOURS TOO (NOW WE"RE BOTH YELLING)

[scoots2]

4992762 It's usually called "bipolar disorder," yes. And while it's got all kinds of different ways of playing out, it generally doesn't look like this. The spiky irritability can be a manic spike, but it's just as likely to be depression. One of Pinkie's most genuinely manic-seeming moments last season was in the beginning of Maud Pie, when she'd gotten up really early in the morning and made mountains of rock candy. Usually it's diagnosed after there's been some behavior or mood problems--there isn't much in the way of physical symptoms that would show up.

I couldn't tell if Pinkie's rejection by her family was because of something she'd actually done (which is sort of unusual) or because of their fear of something she might do. That's too bad. The truth is that the person with bipolar disorder is the one in the most danger. It's got a high suicide rate--higher than depression, even, because people with it have the energy to carry through the plan. And this is why people with the disorder don't talk about it.

It's really complicated writing about a mental illness or a mood disorder. I've done it in my EG fic, but it's still tricky, and I was extremely nervous about getting it wrong. The problem is that if you get it wrong, you're accidentally spreading a stigma that makes life for other people harder.

Anyway, to the author--this isn't to make you feel bad! This is just super-hard to write about, and needs a lot of research. I can point you in the direction of some good resources, if you're interested.

[BewhoUr]

4992916
Thanks for the tips! I was writing about this subject because I really hate cupcakes, and I have recently developed a fascination with Pinkemena. I was trying to think of some mental illness and it was the first thing that came to mind. I wasn't expecting it to be entirely on the nose, seeing I wrote it in an hour, but I will keep your advice in mind for the future. Thanks for the resource offer, I'd like that
Btw: I feel honored that you're here on one of my stories, I absolutely LOVE your work!

[LegoRail]

4992916. Yeah, i actaully read up on Bi-Polar so thus i famliar with the Bi-polar disorder. But what you said about Pinkie is a intrestering theory.

[LegoRail]

4992850 Misunderstood may be a understatement...

[BewhoUr]

4992985
shes misjudged, misunderstood, and mistreated on so many levels....
(its a HUGE understatement ;.;)

[cipherscriptures]

4992892 THANKS IM A HUGE FAN OF LOKI BUT IM THINKING OF MAKING NEW ACCOUNT WITH A NAME THAT INTERTWINES WITH SHERLOCK BECAUSE I LOVE THE SHOW!!!!! I ALSO LOVE THE TENTH DOCTOR MY AVATER IF PROOF OF THAT!!!!!!!!!!

[Aliucon]

How do I put this...

I like the story contents, and I will support most interpretations of Pinkie's psyche that aren't directly related to Cupcakes or anything. Also, I'm pretty sure you know where you're going with this, and is doing what you can to pass through your ideas.

But... those ideas are not coming in a very orderly fashion. Your paragraphs are very big, and then it gets easy to become lost in them. Especially when a flashback starts in the middle of one, and ends in the middle of the second, with only a sentence's segway. I mean, I can understand what is happening after thinking about it, but it's not a smooth read. Even if you didn't change much, but separated all this information in smaller paragraphs, each one perhaps bringing one or two of the ideas you're trying to convey, that'd help the readers a ton.

Note that I say "readers" because it probably doesn't change much for you, and it may seem silly, but I assure you it'd help if done right.

Aside from that, I still have a problem towards this trigger of Pinkie's. She's canonically the pony who prevented Fluttershy from being pranked harshly by Rainbow because she's concerned with her, and even in the episode she made Fluttershy cry, it definitely wasn't intentional. I understand a total reversal of personality due to bipolarity, but that's broke my suspension of disbelief for a moment.

However, I get the impression this is important to how you're going along with this story and, well, I respect it. And would like to see what you continue to do with this scenario, even.

Good luck, and keep up the good work!

[G-AB Acid]

I believe this is one of the worst representations of bipolar disease disorder I've ever read in my entire life. True, you're not a psychiatrist nor a psychologist (or at least I hope not, for the sake of your potential patients), so it'd be too harsh of me to demand perfection. But man, this shows that you clearly haven't been doing your homework prior to writing this...
A quick helping hand. If you eventually need more help, feel free to PM me. I'd be delighted to help someone understand more about psychopathologies and, in turn, correctly raise awareness!

[BewhoUr]

4995467
....
I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOMETHING!
No, I'm not any of those. I wouldn't want to be, I'd suck. Thanks for your opinion, it means so much. I wasn't really thinking it through, i'll take your advice in the future. Thanks for the help offer, I may drop you a PM sometime :)

4994191
Thanks! I took your advice into thought, and I noticed that one of your mane quarrels was the paragraphs being long and sometimes hard to follow. Thanks for telling me, i'll correct in the future. Thanks for all the advice!

4993325

Thanks! I'll use this to correct future work
metaversemodsquad.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/feedback.jpg

[jazzie366 FLUFFKIN]

OOH! OH!!!! AHHHH!!!! THIS ONE STRUCK ME RIGHT IN THE HEART... AAHHH. Loved it, 910239454/10.

[BewhoUr]

5076378
Thanks so much! Gah, I'm glad you think so highly of it! (I couldn't pronounce that number)This is one of my more emotional fics, it took me longer to write and I have to say, it was fun. Nice to know you appreciate it!

[jazzie366 FLUFFKIN]

>>BewhoUr Nine hundred ten million two hundred thirty nine thousand four hundred and fifty four=910239454 :D

[BewhoUr]

5076988
*Sits at my desk and stares at that number *

[jazzie366 FLUFFKIN]

Sees illuminati approaching, runs like a girl

[RandomFanficReader]

Looking good but, you write Bipolar like this, and it's a disorder not a disease