"Don't believe the Great and Powerful Trixie?" The showmare laughed theatrically. "Well then, I hereby challenge you, Ponyvillians. Anything you can do, I can do better. Any takers? Anyone? Hmm? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived?"
With a grin, Twilight Sparkle teleported onto the stage.
Trixie blinked her eyes, shaking off the teleport's flash. "Oh please. Many unicorns can teleport! That is but a paltry task to the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
"Oh no, that wasn't my challenge." Twilight grinned even wider. "This is." Her horn glowed, and soon, so did Trixie.
Thick curls of magic wrapped around her. Long, wispy wings sprouted from her back. "What? What are you doing to Trixie? Stop this at once! You cannot possibly have the magical power to–" Trixie stopped when one of her legs shrank. "What?" In a moment, the rest of her shrank too, leaving only her cape and hat slowly floating down to the floor of the stage.
The spectators gasped.
Something under the hat wiggled. Slowly, it worked its way out under the brim, finally popping out from the side. A tiny Trixie-colored breezie stood and blinked in the sun, looking up at Twilight. It squeaked.
Twilight laughed. "Okay, can you match that?"
The breezie squeaked more, shaking a tiny hoof at Twilight.
"Oh don't worry. I'll change you back." Twilight looked down at Trixie and raised an eyebrow. "As soon as you admit I am the most powerful unicorn in Ponyville."
Trixie stood still for a moment, her mouth gaping. Her silence didn't last long. She exploded into a tirade of squeaks and shrieks. It was completely incomprehensible, but several mothers in the audience saw fit to cover their foals' ears nonetheless. Finally, the flood of babbling verbal abuse faded away.
Twilight still stood above Trixie, waiting.
Trixie looked down and away. She gave a tiny sigh. A few miniscule, barely perceptible squeaks followed.
"There." Twilight smiled, more genuinely this time. "Isn't that better?" She fired up her horn again, returning Trixie to her former unicorn self.
Trixie stood there on top of her hat and cloak, staring at Twilight intently and trembling... but she didn't dare to make a move. Eventually, without saying a word, she walked down from the stage, levitated her clothing after her, and disappeared into the back.
Nopony loves Blue Twilight. Back to the depths with you Nose-fur-atu!
KBO.
This is not friendship. This is not magic.
So Twilight is a jerk in this story. Going up to stage magicians and just showing them up to prove herself better.
5035788
This is SPARTA!
Sorry. Couldn't resist.
5035756
*waits to see it*
5035826
To be fair, she was challenged to do so.
Well...that was disappointing...
5035828
It was a researcher twilight reference.
So setting up Trixie to come back as a villain in S3?
This chapter is kind of an object lesson in WHY Twilight Sparkle was so reluctant to show up Trixie in the first place: because she could do it easily, and she'd look like more of a jerk than Trixie if she did. People who have great power must tread lightly lest their moral compass start pointing every which way but north.
5035890 I'd say realistic
5036017
Not really. Sure, it fits with everyone being overpowered retroactively, but if Twilight was going to show she was better than Trixie, I'd have preferred it actually be a competition where they both show their stuff, not one overpowered demonstration that completely destroys Trixie's career.
5035756 yes make a group! I'll join x3
Awesome job Ocalhoun.
Do you have any tips for people who are just starting to write fan fictions?
So... Twilight Jerkle?
Well that was... harsh.
5036026 yeah, I guess you're right... Oh well
5035890
Probably.
Don't expect too much from this series, honestly.
5035909
Near enough. ^.^
5036016
Hm... true.
5036017
Perhaps, yes, but also out of character.
5036069
Any advice for beginners?
Hm...
1: Start small. Everyone has the great idea for the massive epic... put that on hold until you've got some practice... then you can write that epic and actually do it justice.
(Everyone's first story sucks. So don't make your first story one you really care about.)
2: Read online guides and books about how to write fiction. LOTS of them. They make everything so clear, and you'll learn a lot.
5036072
5036138
Yeah... she was a bit of a jerk.
This is like a LORE.
*My Little Pony Theme song plays*
My little poony! *ding*
My little pony is a show directed for little children at the age of 6-10. Unfortunately, it seems as if parents won't let their children watch it until they're 12.
Every season consist of a major devastating problem. Each being solved by friendship. Friendship For the Win. The friendship is generated by 6 magical items or traits. Them being Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Laughter, Generousity, and last but not least, MAGIC!
The bearers being Applejack, Element of Honesty. Strange, the old west lied a lot. Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty. Fluttershy, Element of Kindness. Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter. Rarity, Element of Generousity. And Twilight, Element of Magic.
Together, these characters must adventure in the everfree forest. Which is the most dangerous place in Equestria. Oddly enough, it's pretty normal for humans, but brony's play along. Hopefully, they don't meet generation 3.
Have Fun!
5036278
It's more that Trixie's my favorite recurring side character, so seeing her intentionally totally humiliated like that hurt.
HELL YES!!!
I love this series!!!
5036339
Huh?
5036363
Ah, I see.
Yeah... I have a tendency to upset Trixie fans whenever I deal with her...
Because I don't have any particular affection for her, and I see (and portray) her as the boastful showmare from season 1. ... And it shows.
5036476
Well, good thing there's plenty more to come, my enthusiastic friend!
5036617
I don't mind her being portrayed as a boastful showmare. At heart, she is.
The thing most people - and ponies - miss is that the emphasis is on showmare. She has to act a certain way on stage and off in order to give her shows flair.
And the worst part of any "taking her down a peg" is that - as a travelling showmare - her reputation and act is the only thing putting food in her belly...so a humiliation like this - once rumor spreads - destroys her professionally, if not kills her by starvation.
Now that's being melodramatic.
I'd like to assume that if her show became a bust, she'd find a different job before allowing herself to starve.
And how does she make money, anyway? Her show as I saw it didn't seem very profitable...
5037053
She's basically a busker. Ponies come to her show, she performs, they toss bits in appreciation.
And if she's already busking...what other job can she get? What job will take her when all she can put on her resume is "former street performer"?
5037124
"Street performer's assistant?"
I could see Flim and Flam hiring her as part of their shows.
(Maybe that would make a good story... hm... No. People always hate how I treat Trixie in stories, so it's best I just avoid her.)
But really, people – and also ponies, I presume – don't just starve if they lose their job. They find a way... and I'd like to think that Equestria has some kind of safety net, preventing that sort of thing.
If all else fails... how can you starve when you're a horse? The ground everywhere you look is covered in food.
derpicdn.net/img/2013/7/22/381083/large.png
5037373
A valid point. But that doesn't counter my point of it destroying her, both in a career related way and an emotional way.
Damn! Two of my Favorites and Twilight (most favorite) transformed Trixie (just favorite) into a Breezie! That's way more advance the original show!
Awesome Job, Ocalhoun, keep it up!!!
5037902
Well, thanks!
5037938
Not quite that overpowered.
Dont you need to have the other species at a close range in order to use the transformation spell? just saying......It seemed to work that way in the show.
Oh well it ended better for Trixie than I tough it was going to. I really tought Twlight was going to step on her.
And the universe died. Because there was no conflict or character development in the episodes. So people stopped watching.
Okay, read all the chapters now.
The premise is good, I both find it funny and agree with it (these mares have saved the world multiple times, cliche sitcom problems shouldn't bother them in the slightest), but I feel as though this generally lacks substance. The quick, terse and logical manner in which all these problems are resolved seems like it be the foundation for other jokes to be built on, but no other joke is there, and as such these chapters feel like skeletons of jokes, without muscle or skin.
The fact that the girls are blowing through their problems too quickly to learn lessons seems like a good angle. The way Twilight casually counterfeited the additional tickets got a chuckle from me, so perhaps more from that? I think the girls whipping out their "we saved the world" cards could be a funny way to resolve problems.
So, basically, the whole premise of this fic is a singular joke. It's a good one, but you can't base single story around one, uncut joke. The individual chapters need to be ever mutating permutations and manipulations of that joke to keep it fresh. I'll follow you because I like your ideas, but I can't upvote until you expand on them.
5026998 How about we split the task. You give us a thumbs up and we'll give you the thumbs down. *sarcastic smile*
Twilight, you fucking twat. Don't get me wrong, I would do the same thing, but it's still a dick move.
5036016
It's less about moral compass and more how everyone views you. Even if you're in the right in using your power, if people see it differently they'll villify you and demonize you and demand something stronger deal with you.
As proof, any time someone who is larger and stronger defends themselves from a smaller attacker, what's the first thing you usually hear (aside from 'DAYUM he got his ass stomped!')? "You're bigger than they are, this isn't fair! You shouldn't have hit them!"
Now that was funny
Completely out of character for Twilight, but funny
Twilight should have killed Trixie.
In this one twilight had the sense to put trixie in her place.
5038920
Sadly, it seems that way. But that is kinda the premise of this.
"Remember boys and girls, the solution to jerks is to be an even bigger jerk".
Honestly... this chapter simply made me feel sad... like... I like the antagonist like this to be beaten because the hero can clearly show that they are stronger... not because an entertainer who may have been a braggart was absolutely humiliated and had her entire job, and thus source of income, ruined
6177804
Have u ever read aragon's story about the doorknob? I feel like you've been taking pointers.
6333939 Unlike the result of Boast Busters in the actual series, Trixie's source of income wasn't affected at all in this odd little fantasy. She just had a quick lesson in the one skill every entertainer absolutely needs: "Know your audience." An entertainer's job is to entertain. She wasn't doing that.
We'll, the best one so far
Now, that just bulling.
She took away her horn and refused to change her back until she gives up.