Elemant Lost

by starrynights

Please dont leave

"SOARIN!" Soarin heard his named being screamed. Before he could respond a rainbow maned mare jumped in front of him. A second later she fell into his arms.

He looked down at the now unconsious mare. Her chest was bleeding. Her hair was tangled more than likely from training.

Once soarin saw her in this condition all he could manage was to say her name and then cry. The other wonder bolts flew over to see. one mare with a fiery mane took one glance and flew as fast as she could to a phone.

Soarin looked up and saw a storm cloud. When he looked agian at her, he could see her wings were cinged.He held her close when he realized what just happened.

The other wonder bolts were also shocked. One with an icy white and blue mane flew over to the cloud and started to kick it with all her strength.

After a few minutes a mobile bed with a brown and black pony flew towards them. Soarin then placed her on the bed to be taken to the hospital.
----.----

At the Cloudsdale hospital Soarin, SpitFire, and Fleetfoot waited in the lobby. "Please be alright,Dash."Soarin kept repeating SpitFire lifted one hoof and wrapped it around her anxious friend. "Soarin. please snapout of it. she'll be alright, this is dash were talkin' about. she'll pull through." Soarin sighed. "your r--"

Soarin was cut off by the doctor."She's awake but she is likely not going to pull though. She's requesting to see Soarin Skies." the doctor said slowly. as he watched the wonderbolt jump out of his seat and then tears filled his eyes.'I'm ... sorry."

With that they moved towards the hallway. all the doors were closed except one. The doctor took him to that door. The side of the wall had a plaque that was recently placed it read "Rainbow Dash''.
As Soarin walked into the room he started to cry agian. ''Dash?"

"hey Soarin. Im So glad to see you."

''Me to"

"soarin are you crying?"

"...yes"

"Soarin.''

"I'm sorry."

"I wanted you to come in here so I could tell you something."

Soarin came in closer to her. He sat on a stool at the end of the bed.

"I know I'm not going to make it. And I wanted to tell you a secret of mine.....I've had a crush on you ever since I joined the wonder bolts."

Soarin felt tears come back to his eyes he quickly wiped them away. He then left from his seat and now was standing at the edge of the bed.His muzzle came in closer with dash's. Before they touched he whispered three soft words to her "I love you". He then closed his eyes and let his mouth do the rest.

Before it was over Dash started to shake. He parted from her. He then realized she needed a doctor.He started to run out to go get the doctor when the doctor ran in with the nurse. The door was closed behind him.

The nurse that was outside the room escorted Soarin back to the lobby. He sat back in the lobby with his wonderbolt friends. Looking sader than belivable, and crying every second more and more proved he was worried.Her words taunted him.Pain swelled up inside him. He thought over and over 'plase don't leave me'.

A few hours passed, and the only pony left in the lobby was Soarin. The other Wonder Bolts had left already.Soarin waited impatiently for an awnser from the doctor. the clock seemed to taunt him with each second."tik tok,tik tok...."

The doctor walked in slowly. Soarin jumped to his hooves. "Is she .....alright?

"For now."

"May I go see her?''

"Yeah"

With that soarin opened his wings and flew down the hallway. He slid past the door as he tried to stop. a Crash could be heard and then a weak giggle from the room. Once he made a complete stop he got back on his hooves and made it to the door. Knock, knock, knock.

''Hey'' a bright and happy Rainbow Dash greeted her visitor.

''Hey, ya doin' ok now?''

"Yeah"

"Good I was worried."

"Did.....did you mean what you said about that you love me?"

"Yeah." Soarin nodded nervosly.

Dash stared at him for a few moments. She was reminded how she loved his warming smile, and his laugh. She knew if she told him what the doctors told her he would start to worry. She just hoped it didn't happen before he left.

She watched Soarin as he came closer to her bed side. He then brushed her mane softly with his hoof.He stared into her eyes as he bent down to kiss her. Their mouths met. Soarin thought to himself ' I wish I could tell her that I need her and that she means everything to me.' When there mouths finally parted they hugged. Rainbow Dash wished this moment would never end, but right when that thought crossed her mind her body started to shake. Soarin imediatly pushed her off and gently laid her back on the bed.

"DOCTOR! DOCTOR!'' Soarin yelled, but by the time they came it was to late.

''I'm sorry......" Was the only response.

Tears streamed down Soarin's Face. He walked out then turned his head to take one last look at the now eternal sleeping pony.His sad look drew attention to a few nurses in the hallway.

The rest of the night was a drag for him. He couldn't stop crying. Everything that happened that day he blamed on him self.All his friends (including Twi and the rest of the mane 6) reassured him it wasn't his fault, but it wasn't enough to change his mind.

The service was held at Ponyville. Rainbows friends were there, and the wonderbolts made a special apperence.Soarin was also there. He admitted his feelings for her to the crowd. When he came to the stage and gave his preformance every pony started to cry. At the end he also gave a tribute song to her. When it all ended every pony left with saddend faces. It was true every pony missed her.

Life went on in Equestria, but no pony ever forgot the name Rainbow Dash.

Author's Note:

This is a tribute story to my two Grandpahs, My best friends Grahma, and my dads friend. I miss all of you.

sorry it's so short and I will try to corect any grammar issues.
Also I hope I can make another story to explain what happened (hint it's a murder mystery).
please tell me what you think of a second story.

Comments

[cringe]

Sad...
But, work on the grammar

[Tigermoth499]

Wow… I love it in a depressing way I recommend going back threw and correcting some typo's. I also don't exactly what the cloud did but otherwise very good

[Aurora Steel]

Wow! I love this story! It's really depressing but I still love this!

I'm sorry for you family and friends

This story actually made me cry that means it was an affective sad story! This is defiantly staying in my faves!

[Aurora Steel]

4720829 it electrocuted her

[Tigermoth499]

4721817 oh, I thought that was it but I couldn't be sure...

[RainbowLoyalty862]

This story was amazing! It was so sad but so awesome at the same time. It would have moved me to tears if my eyes weren't so dry for some reason. Bravo.

[Meekoli Sean]

this is the sadest dong in the world cuz its a sad sad song

[starrynights]

4721810 Thank you.I was really scared to put it on because i was afraid of getting bad comments. so thanks really means a lot!

[trainerli]

Wow
THIS
IS
JUST
WOW
Sad but wow

[starrynights]

4793824 Thanks. Means alot

[princesspopstar]

Awe sad story very sad keep it up

[Charles Spratt]

Warning: I'll be blunt here. However, I will avoid insults, since I just want to help you.

Okay, let me get this out of the way: the idea of Soarin losing someone close to him to death isn't a bad one, and it seems like this story could've been a decent heart tugger. However, there are two main problems that really hold it back. I'll start with grammar, since it's the easiest one to correct. The grammar is, for lack of a better word, hideous. Seriously, I think the grammar is wrong more often then it is right here! However, this is still relatively easy to fix, considering there are entire groups dedicated to editing. Just ask someone there for help. The other problem is the pacing. Everything moves way too fast, and by the time I started to get invested, the story was over. I'd recommend going a little slower, describing things a bit better (milking the despair, if you will.). Hope this helps. Cheers

[starrynights]

5523585 your right at the time I was horrible at grammar at the time and I was rushing. And be live me it is a story from the heart. Just so you know I've had a lot of struggles with my life heck I've been hospitalized for my actions. Thank you for that note I will be sure to go slower and get an editor next time.
Love,
Starry

[starrynights]

wow i didn't notice but its been a year since i published this story!

[MLPdior]

My heart maybe made out of steel but this story ALMOST made me cry.
I applaud you
Great job

[Easy breezey]

Awwwwww that was soooo sad RAINBIW DIED WHAAAAAA!!!!! *sobs like crazy and finishes7 boxes and counting* but i liked soooo much this story just earned a fave

[IceRain]

I know this sounds absolutely insensitive, but if Soarin never kissed Dash she could still could maybe be alive because the bad stuff only happened when they were kissing.

[Galaxy Swril]

I don't usually cry to sad stories or movies but that was so sad and very affective
It was really well thought of but maybe edit on some grammer
I loved it

[Spectrum Dash]

Good job. This story made me tear up. WHY DID RAINBOW HAVE TO die?!!!